luke rom

it has been about 2 years since i was last here, after a rather traumatic relationship that involved lies and cheating with more than 1 other guy. i spent a year talking to a counciler and last year, i was felling good. so good. felt myself for the first time in ages, i worked hard starting a web company, became active, funny, social and above all, maintained my moral and considerate personality. i believe that you should treat others the way you want to be treated, and always consider your partner before making any decisions that could cause hurt. so im on a good road to success and happiness, living the single life and really enjoying myself. in october last year i met a girl, so sweet, beautiful and so similar to me in humour and life. she asked me out, and before i knew it, we were together in what can only be described as a perfect relationship. we saw each other enough to be satisifed, not ot much and not to little. after christmas, she told me she loved me, the first person she has ever been in llve with. she had a similar story to my past relationship, her ex actually slept with HIS OWN NIECE! from the start i told her that i would never accept lies and cheating, in fact it would probably destroy me. she said the same, and she has been as honest as they come, trelling me whenever anyone came on to her, or anything that she thought i should know, and by doing this, our trust was so strong i would believe whatever she told me. about a month ago, she told me that one of my best friends hit on her.... i couldnt believe he did that, so i called him up and ended our friendship, he was guilty and apologised, but the damage was done. she had run in to him at a strip club, she had gone there with one of her male friends who is very lonely, so i guess he fancied a lap dance. i had no problem wiht her going there, even though she admitted to being bi-sexual. its not an issue to me. so that was tough to accept but it didnt affect us, only me and my friend. well, a few nights back, i had finished dj'ing at a bar at 2am, and the other guys working, and a few girls, wanted to go for a few drinks, and the strip club was all that was left open. i am not a fan of strip clubs, i dont really enjoy watching what is basiclly a slightly tamer version of a hooker dance around for money. but i went there for a drink, and left after 15 mins or so. the next day, my girlfriend went crazy because i had gone there, she was ready to split up with me. she wouldnt acknoledge the fact that she went there, and it was purely coz i had and i obviously didt respect her. i became suspicious, this is the baehaviour of a guilty person, the pre-emptive strike so to speak. so i asked her to tell me about the night she was there. she finally gave in and admitted to getting a lap dance. then admitted to several lap dances, 5 in all. i asked if she had been attracted to any of the girls. she denied it. for an hour, then admitted it. i was in shock, this girl who i had let in despite all the hurt i have had before, put me through hell for going there, on the verge of splitting up, and she was acting that way becuase of what she had done. she told me she felt so bad because that girl gave her 2 dances, even after she felt bad for having the first one with her. the actual thing itself isnt all that bad, but the lieing and the way she made me feel have brought back so much pain. i feel so let down and alone. i cant forgive this again, i cant deal with lies and now, all the trust we had is gone. she desperately wants to make this work, but i just cant. i am so sick of hearing 'im sorry' from people, the words have lost all meaning. i am now so down, i am unitentionelly destroying all my other realtionships, my parents, friends, because i just cant bear tmo go through talking about other fu*kup like this again. i am ready to give up. where are all the decent people? why do people have such little repect for others? compared to other posts, this seems less important, but i feel like i am right back when my last girlfriend told me she slept with 4 other people. i am ready to snap. o well. Luke.

Hi, It has been a while since i was last here, but this was the holy grail of support for me during one of the most disruptive times in my life. im in a situation again, and i have talked to some friends, who have their own problems, and family which is falling aprt, even the person involved, but to be honest, i am feeling very alone. About this time last year, i had just split from my girlfiend of 2 years. I was so in love, we had the sort of relationship that people envy. however, she kissed several people in the first few months, and confessed it after about a year because she wanted it to be an honest relationship. i respected this, but it didnt stop me from being destroyed beause it was everything i could want. the trust ws smashed. and she told me she was going away for 6 months traveling. we worked through it, but it was hard, i felt a huge part of us was gone. she went away after another 3 months, and we were ok, we were together and happy. i did not deal with her being away well, our calls got shorter and less involved. she thought i was moving on, i was suffering so badly because of the previous problem, but i didnt want to burden her while on a life changing trip. eventually, we spoke and she suggested splitting up. the single worst moment of my life, as it led to the following stuff. after a week, i was really cut up, i thought that if i bite my lip, ignore the pain, she will get back and we will sort things out. i got signed of work for 2 weeks because i wasnt functioning properly. i went to stay at my parents for a few days at the end of the 2 weeks, then the phone call came. she wanted to know if i was alright. we spoke for 2 hours. she asked if i had been with anyone since the split, i hadnt. i asked her back, and she said she had, she had slept with a guy she met. i have never felt pain like it. i was sick. i had to start healing all over again. i wish to this day she hadnt phoned me. i started the NC rule and reconstructed my life. i went back to work and got on with things. i booked a trip to ibiza and had agreat time. it was around then she got in contact again. eventually she returned and we got talking. after a while, we got abck together, on the understanding we left the past in the past. it has been 8 months now, and the past is coming back to haunt us. i havent been the same guy since we were back together. i have been colder, she hasnt been to see my friends back in london, and i have lied to her, about small things like where i was going with my friends. i felt things improving as we progressed. now we are screwed. she has kept in contact with a guy she slept with on messenger and lied about it because she says "she didnt think i was ready to hear that he was that guy" . i have also needed to ask questions about what happeneded there, because it has been in the back of my mind. she says she doesnt need forgiveness for doing what she did there because we were separated, but she caused me so much pain by phoning me and telling me. this post sounds so cold and logical, but i am in tears trying to get all the details in. i feel i should end it, but i really need help, advice, opinions, comments because i dont know what to do. i dont know what else to write, please ask me questions and give advice, as i am really not coping with this again. should i cut the tie? thanks