sddeaston

Ha ha. Smooth line

Hmmm. I can't believe all these guys who are married and could care less when their wife said something like that. Heh, I guess its just me...but I would be there in like a half-second flat... I think stuff like that is sexy, but even sexier when its with someone who you know as well as lovers know eachother.

You said they are committed to each other? Sounds like a one-sided commitment to me.

Maybe, if you are serious about moving back to Ashland, you can start to slowly advertise here or contact those people (if they don't already know) and let them know you are thinking about it, and you can develop (or decide your best option) from there. Just know, it will get better, and you will find your place.

Yeah, my ex used to get cramping after we had sex. But I am not sure how intense, in comparison to yours, hers was. It was mostly after rough sex, or prolonged sex for her though....as I recall, but at the same time I seem to remember that it was pretty frequent. Maybe we just had a lot of rough sex.. But, in light of LBoogie's post, I would go to the doctor and just get it checked out.

I HATE it when a SO spends ALL their time text messaging. That is so lame. If you wanna be hanging out with that other person, then go, but don't stay here and make me feel like I bring you down, or keep you away from what you REALLY want. I would just stop hanging with her, or text one of my friends EVERY time she is asking for your attention....see how she likes it.

Why in the heck did you move from the Valley (thats where I am) to Corvallis? I know WHY you moved, but why Corvallis? So....desolate, although closer to Portland.

Some of the better encounters are unexpected, and totally unique. No place is really a bad place to meet people. (Within reason, of course)

You are only a couple hours from where I live Had to point that out, you are the first person I have seen on here that I am close to. Being in a new place is tough, especially after leaving a place you have grown to know. I have never been in your situation, so keep in mind that these words come from experiences I have helped my friends through. My friend moved to Kansas when he was 19. He knew no one, and would often call me to talk, because he was sooooooo bored/lonely. After about 8 months (conservative estimation??) he slowly called less and less. His only commonality with people of interest was school, and baseball. He had to really force himself to meet people, and to find a niche. Once he became friends with one of his teamates, it still took him a few months to really get a good solid friend base there. What he told me is that people reacted to him, the way he reacted to people (or the PERCEIVED way he was reacting). When he knew no-one, he would act as though he knew no one...and from that people deducted that he wanted to know no one. I am not saying that your attitude is bad, please don't think that is what I mean. I know you came to Oregon to get away from a very bad situation. In light of that, you probably were reluctant to really put yourself out there for people to get to know, which (although not right) makes people think you already have what you need (friends, family..w/e), or unfortunately, like in my situation, makes people think you are conceided or stuck up. You have to push the issue. Introduce yourself to people, even when you don't feel like being social. It is something I have had to do forever, but a few years back I finally adapted to this lifestyle, and have made more positive changes in my (choice of) friends.....and even in my life as a result of the confidence that gaining friends gives you. This is not easy, in any way, especially after you have moved here for the reasons you have. It is easy to feel lost after a life-changing move, and I commend you for sticking to it for a year to date. Pat yourself on the back for that! Are there any people you know that are your, or have the potential to be your friends in Corvallis?

Ah! Good Point! I am quite picky though! Maybe you just need to find the RIGHT man/woman who stimulates your mind first.

Ha Ha Kermit!! Love the sex addicts sig. Thats funny, sorry, not meaning to hijack the thread. In all honesty, kermit said what I was thinking. Sounds like there is motivation coming from a different source. I cant say that it IS happening, but the abrupt change of heart definitely points that way. Or...he could have been slowly developing these feelings, and was not sure of the reality of them, and has only recently decided that his heart was not in it. Either way, I understand your hurt. From an (mostly) objective standpoint, I would say that your best option is going to be to let him go, and let him sort himself out. If he just wants out, there isn't much you can do. If there are no children involved, you will have the opportunity to reflect upon your situation as well while taking only yourself into consideration. That is something you NEED to do. From the moment he took only himself into consideration and did not actively try to work on things to improve the marriage, you were granted the right to not worry about him and to make choices that work for YOU. If he wants to be single, then (I know, I know...it's SOOOOOOO hard) let him, and find someone who is not flaky, and someone who does (and will continue to) appreciate you. He does not. You have to realize that you deserve someone who equally wants to be with you.

Exactly what I was thinking. He is going to do the same to you, in the event that his current marriage (surprise, surprise) doesn't work and you marry him.

It is nice to see a post from someone who honestly appreciates themselves. That kind of thing is rare anymore. Congrats!! Just keep this post in mind next time something not-so-good happens, so you can keep your spirits up anyways.

I just love women

I know this is a little late, but don't give up!!! Could you imagine what kind of an accomplishment that would be?

Hmmm, couldn't have been said better...even by a guy That was pretty right on.

You are something significant in this world. You are you. No one else is you!

Sounds like she is extremely insecure and needs reassurance from you about herself. I am not going to tell you its impossible to have a good lasting relationship with her, but it will be turbulent and you will have to overcome many obstacles. But what relationship isn't that way?

First, how old are you? That is meant in the most respectful way. Not meant to offend. It is my observation that women, in GENERAL, are not this way. Honestly, that is a certain MINORITY of them. I too used to think like Calvin5. In my opinion, the reason some believe women are that way is for one of two reasons. A- Either have been burnt by someone who was that way (superficial), and need to justify it, or B- Have experienced this in an in-direct manner (seeing on TV, or seeing some guys with cash flow and pretty ladies, etc.) and have made their own deduction about women in general. (Age plays a large role in this one, thus the reason for the question on your age) If your posts, and your general overview of women is a product of B, then one needs to develop stronger values, and look deeper in others as well as themselves, to find what a "GOOD" person is like, and consequently what a "Good" woman is truly like. Obviously, the definition of "Good" is going to vary from person to person, however, judging by the orientation of this thread, lets assume that "Good" is characterized by good moral values, and other things congruent with your own beliefs as far as a relationship, and is GENERALLY what people with honest intentions, and people who want to be in a stable relationship seek in a S/O. I am not saying that your beliefs are shallow, although can be misinterpreted that way. But I am saying that your generalization, simply can not be true in the case of all women, or even the majority. Although, I am not implying that it does not happen, because it does.

If my fiancee had been able to compromise a little, such as you did, I would still be getting married next summer. Its those "little" things that make the bigger picture either more or less comforting.

I find that people who do not tell, in order to save the relationship they had the disprespect for to step out on and actually commit the infidelity, to be selfish. They do not want to ruin the relationship, and want to keep their SO to themselves...but, when they were faced with the opportunity to prove the worth of the relationship to themselves, or to their partner, they did not find it worth the time or effort to resist desire. So, they just act like it never happened, and act like they do in fact have respect for the relationship, when it is obviously not the case. Ever. And in my mind, a faithful partner who is able to resist desire, is worthy of a partner who will do the same, no matter what, in any situation. THAT is faithfulness. And THAT is selfless. If you cheat, you do not value the relationship to the extent that a faithful partner would find acceptable. That is a deal breaker. Its not that hard. Immaturity or lack of self esteem would be in large part the reason a lot of people lack the responsibility to do what is right in terms of a relationship. Thats why I find older women so attractive.

I have heard a thing called Relacore (I think). I know its made for weight management/loss, but my brother, who has been diagnosed with anti-social disorder, was told to take it by his councellor. He is in no way overweight either...so I know its not just for that. I am only saying what he told me, or what I interpreted from him. I may be wrong, I would search it and read some about it. Hope that helps.

First things first, you must respect yourself if you expect respect in return. I think a lot of people fail to realize that they are ALLOWING people to do that...

Ah Ha!! The REAL issue. That was going to be my suggestion.