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kamurj

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Everything posted by kamurj

  1. kamurj
    Look man, I don't know what to say... From what you said it sounds like she wants to move on to bigger better things, and perhaps you were temporary. I hope that's not the case. Whatever happens man. It sounds like you love this girl and I fear you're going to get hurt in process... She cheated on you dude! You found out from someone else, and when you asked her if it was true, she lied! Now she's uncertain???? Love sucks! That's all I've got to say.... P.S. It's too bad professionals don't reply to these... Instead of people like myself who have problems of our own and are in no way qualified to give advice. Best of luck buddy! I hope it work out for ya! -Mike S
  2. kamurj
    Hoping that someone stops drinking just is not going to help at all. Things are only going to get worse unless something drastic is done. Perhaps talk to other family and friends of the drunk and see if you can perform an intervention. Arguing and one on one discussion does not work on an alcoholic. If you get a bunch of people together that the alcoholic respects and show him that everyone knows about his behavior and that he needs help, perhaps you can get him to go for treatment. I think this needs to be done in a planned, very non-judgemental way so that the alcoholic does not feel threatened. A lot of success can be achieved this way. Just don't give up hope I wish you the best kristofv
  3. kamurj
    Dear MumofAgeGap: I know exactly how you feel because I'm in the same boat wth my 16 year old son. His woman is 47. We live in Georgia where the minimum age of consent is 16, so there is nothing we can do about the situation legally. They have been seeing each other for seven months and have asked for our permission to marry. We said no to marriage, but have consented to letting our son move in with her for the summer. We're doing this because we realize that we can not break them up. We are hoping our son will come to his senses once he gets a taste of what it's like to live with her. Our son is a non-smoker and his "Honey" is a three pack a day smoker. We're hoping this will dissaude him. If it doesn't, then it will at least prepare him for his life with a chain-smoking middle aged woman.
  4. kamurj
    Damn, man. It sounds like you are really hurting! Just be careful with the alcohol bud. Don't hurt yourself with that stuff. It can be nasty. It sounds like you are having second thoughts about what you told her initially. I however would have to agree with what you told her though. If she doesn't love you there may not be anything to "work on." The truth is that you can't make someone love you. You can't love her enough for both of you in other words. I'm not sure that there is anything magical that anyone can say in a situation like this to take the pain away. That sort of thing hurts on so many levels, as I'm sure you know by now. I would recommend that you don't isolate yourself from people right now. Eventhough that is probably what you feel like doing. Hang out with your friends. It's better to talk to your buds about stuff like this than to just drink alone. If your guy friends are too macho, or whatever, to talk to you about your feelings. Go talk to your female friends (women are just great for stuff like this). At anyrate, this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but remember there are something like 3.5 billion other women on this planet your ex is not the only one who you can be happy with. Take it easy man. Eric
  5. kamurj
    Hahaha that's funny, I have the same exact problem (I'm skinny as hell). Here's the trick: Only date girls that are as super-thin as you are! It definitely narrows your choices --- but it's the only real solution to this minor problem
  6. kamurj
    8) It's perfectly normal to want what you can not have. Chances are if there is no chemistry between you and your girlfriend's sister's friend there won't be. And unless she doesn't care about her friendship with your girlfriend's sister or your girlfriend there will never be. If you have a woman that does as you said 'everything you want' don't screw up a good thing... godspeed, everyone.
  7. kamurj
    Forget it, you can't help him. He can only be helped when HE wants to get help! You don't need this! You should be able to express your love sexually if you choose, without debate. Find someone else who will appreciate you, not someone who won't help himself, much less you.
  8. kamurj
    I can totally relate to your situation. My ex husband and I split up April 29, 1999, after being married a little over 2 years (3 years together total). We have one child together (she will be 5 in August). I am still not over him. I have went on with my life, gotten remarried, divorced again, and in a new relationship. I also have my third child on the way. I think I have been trying to compare everyone I get into a relationship with to him...and maybe that is my problem. If you don't get over it, you will end up like me, an endless sea of crappy relationships. If you can't get it over it, believe me I understand! There is no point in bugging him, if he doesn't want you back, as I have learned, there is nothing you can do. He is going to do what he wants to do reguardless of how you feel. I know it's hard facing the fact that he is not coming back, but it is something you have to do to preserve your sanity. I was in denial for a long time, lost 35lbs in no time flat, rarely ate, smoked cigarettes like a frieght train, rarely slept or slept too much. I was severly depressed for the first few months after our split. I can't really give you much else advice, cause like I said I am still not over my ex. It took a while, but I have lost hope for us. He went on with his life before I did, and that feeling of being replaced sent me into a tailspin. I hope your situation turns out better than mine. *Good luck and best wishes*
  9. kamurj
    I'm really sorry to hear that. I know how it is to care so deeply for someone and not know how to tell them. You said that you're still friends right? Are you still close like before and hang out? If things haven't really changed, then maybe she just thinks you don't feel that way for her and that's why she goes for other guys. Also, if she really does like you, perhaps she's trying to get your attention with these other guys so you'll make your move. Either way, regardless of what happens I say you should just tell her. When you get that nervous feeling and start to back out, DON'T, just start talking. You may feel embarrassed and there is the possiblility of rejection, but decide for yourself if it's worth it. You'll never know until you do. There's a quote that may help here..."Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are those 'it might have been'." Just think about it that way, if you don't say anything you MAY miss out on something amazing.
  10. kamurj
  11. kamurj
    Not everything is as simple and as cleancut as everyone would like to believe. I have been happily married for 22 years and I love my husband very much. He's a good man. For the last 6 years there has also been someone else in my life, my feelings for whom I could also only describe as 'love'. We have never slept together, but there has been intimacy of sorts at times, and we are in touch by phone or email at least weekly. I feel as though I couldn't let him out of my life. Maybe your girlfriend is going through the same sort of thing having feelings for two people, but dealing with it in a different way. I don't know.
  12. kamurj
    Hi hunni i no how you feel i did the same thing with my boyfriend. You didn't want to get close and saying mean things would end the relstionship and you wouldn't have to deal with the heartache. You realize now that this sux! You were trying so hard not to get hurt but in the end you did. My advice call him and tell him you were scared of getting close. If he says he understands then great but if he doesn't then you no this is what you need to learn from. That the next guy that comes by you'll treat him right. Good luck.
  13. kamurj
    I'm sorry, this must be stressful for your family. What can you do? All kinds of things. You could confront the woman and tell her to get counseling...before the police send a squad car for her. If this woman really loves your son, she should set him free. More likely, she is terribly insecure, and takes comfort in your son's attention. He probably has great qualities, and should be afforded the opportunity to share them in a normal, honest relationship. He should be dating someone in psychology class, not dating someone he reads about in psychology textbook.
  14. kamurj
    She's playing you like a banjo, Cowboy, no matter that you go Dutch. Let her go. Find someone who'll appreciate your love. Find someone whose behavior isn't so self-absorb; her I-need-him I-need-you drama is unhealthy.
  15. kamurj
    Your husband doesnt give a damn about a stupid abortion. He just wants to stick in his ex-girlfriends mouth. He's bored with you, and you're too stupid to know it!
  16. kamurj
    Your sister-in-law? Why not do it again? It was a good thing, and you got off! Your wife is frigid anyway, so who cares?
  17. kamurj

    Just friends?

    kamurj replied to kamurj's topic in Dating Advice

    Hello, sorry to here your story! I have the same problem! I have been friends with this girl for a long time. One night, I just simply asked her out. She was so embarrased. I dont blame her. I would be shocked too if someone wanted me, but I thought it would be disgusting! Later, Barry
  18. kamurj
    I'd be pissed off, but not devastated. A strong marriage doesn't end in divorce over a kiss. But - the big but is why. The whys should be addressed on your own. On whether or not to tell her, ask yourself if you would be telling her because of your own shame and guilt or because you think she needs and deserves to know the truth. If it was a one time kiss, a split second decision that will not be repeated- then no do not tell her. If this has never happened before and will not again, it will only cause her grief and alleviate your conscience a tiny bit. Address whatever was behind that moment. Address how it happened, where you were, if you two were drinking, why the woman did not know you were married before the kiss happened, etc. Those are things that can be dealt with and prevent another "shameful" moment. Best wishes, Tia
  19. kamurj
    Listen don't make the mistakes that I have. There are no guarantees in life. You get what you pay for.. are you getting this? If you spend to much time worrying about the past then you aren't being fair to the present! Don't live your life worry about what you can and can't control. Take the plunge and be happy! Talk to him about your feelings, let him help and understand you. He can't "prove" his love to you, you're going to have to trust. If you can't do that then your wasting his and your own time. Trust me. I have turned away more good people because I had such fear that I have deep regrets. Do you also want them?
  20. kamurj
    Hey! I think the fact that he is kissing you and involved with another girl means that he is not over you and he doesn't know what he wants true. I think all you should do in this circumstance is leave him an open ivitation. Tell him you truly love him or say you care for him or something. ANd tell him when he feels that way towards you, you'll be there. And try to keep your word anyway, even if you are in another relationship at the time- especially if it's at the beginning of this other relationship. IT may just work between the two of you but you got to give each other some time. I think people give up too fast. Good luck! Yuna
  21. kamurj
    Hey gurl! Similar thing happened to me. I think he has to go through the same thing that you went through. I say to just tell him that whenever he wants to consider you being in his life again, to call you. Tell him that you'll always welcome him back. And keep your promise! Don't try to pay him back. THat just backfires. Like he's doing to you. IF you leave him an open invitation, if he used to love you, he'll get this feeling back especially if his new girl is as cracked up as you claim her to be. I wish you all the best! Yuna this is a test "
  22. kamurj
    I kind of know how you feel. I wasn't with my ex for as long as you. Being together for 5 years a huge amount of time. So, you made a mistake by leaving him in the fifth year. And now he won't take you back. Nad now he is marrying this woman he just met 9 months ago. I had a similar experience. All I can come up with is that the guy felt abandoned when I could just leave like that. I didn't mean to make him feel abandoned but I was hurt too. So, now all I can think of is that he wants to latch onto someone, anyone, in the hopes that they'll never leave him the way you left him. I hope some guys have their opinions to add. And the thing is, I wouldv'e been the most faithful girlfriend in the world to him. ANd you were probably the most faithful girlfriend in the world to him to. But when people frustrate me sometimes, I usually try to get my space and he may have interpreted that as abandonment. I would never abandon someone if they truly needed me. I'm not like that. I do not know how well my experience matches up to yours but it strikes a cord in me. Yuna
  23. kamurj
    Maybee not crazy but as the other person b4 me said very jealous, he must be a very patient man to be putting up with all this bs that you are throwing at him. Come on, going through phone bills and checking his pay for the last 2 years and not finding anything, and still thinking hes having an affair? It might get to the point that if he keeps being accused of some thing he may as well do it because he is being accused and u wont have anyone to blame but yourself for literaly driving him into another womans arms.
  24. kamurj
    I know what you're going through, only mine told me these things, and had another guy in the picture waiting for my final screw-up. We had a great relationship together, but then she wasn't getting the things she wanted, only never bothered to tell me, instead just bailed out, and now is happily with another relationship 3 weeks later. I'm crushed. I think for you, you should just give her space, and don't talk to her let her figure things out..... I know this is my only course of action.
  25. kamurj
    i'm a 25 year old father of 1, and my wife is 21. but we are going though similiar problems. we were best friends that got hooked up and had a kid, but ever since she got pregnant and we got married there is not much sex in our "sexlife". We used to have sex 2 or 3 times a day every day, but now i'll be lucky to get it once a week, and it is drivin our marriage to the breaking point, we've talked about it time after time and she always seem to change the excuses why it's like that. i'm very affectionate and usually happy go lucky, but it's getting hard to handle. we love eachother alot and we do alot of things together and have very similiar interests, but that "kick" isn't there anymore i won't even touch her in that way, so i won't offend her or push her away since she told me before that she likes to initiate "it" We don't get to spend alot of nights together because she gets off work so late at nite. there's no affairs going on because we have an open relationship and we share everything. but me telling u my problems ain't helping you out, have u tried being bold , like doing "stuff" in semi- public places or even trying to please him with a very bold and spontaneous act(bj) or tease him a few nites in a row with a little teasing action before bed. me personally i've tried everything from toys to porn to a threesome once but no luck , just hang in there and i hope for the best for us both, lol js in nc
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