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Day_Walker

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Everything posted by Day_Walker

  1. Day_Walker
    Life is too complex to say that something is "meant to be". Think of all the different variables that would have to come together. It is a nieve to think that perfection can exist in a imperfect world. A wise man told me that we choose the person(s) we love based on our needs at that moment in time. Life is constantly changing this is why certain relationships dont last, all you can do is live life, and make the right decisions.
  2. Day_Walker
    Bad idea to call on monday . . . it hasnt been long enough. Wednesday or Thursday would be good. Dont just talk to her on the phone the idea is to get some personal interaction, go out for some coffee or something very casual. This is why you dont call her in the evening cuz then its just gonna be a phone convo. There is another reason you are asking her out, if she accepts and depending on how the meeting goes you will know if she is just a friend or if she has potential.
  3. Day_Walker
    Think of the situation from her perspective, Of course you would want to keep a person around that has proclaimed how much they love you. It doesnt her hurt her to be your friend but it can hurt you. It benefits her to keep you around because she knows how much you care for her. You probably wont even notice but you will be giving her the same kind of attention a bf would but she only has to be ur friend. If you want the short and simple answer then dont be friends with her (you can say "we" can be friends and just never contact her). Do what is healthy for you, think of yourself first and you will be fine.
  4. Day_Walker
    what are you actually going to gain from knowing if she likes you or not? From the situation it appears that you two are friends with benefits. This means that she likes you enough to have a "special fair well" with you. Take the situation for what it is and if she wants something more then she will let you know, otherwise you dont ask. Have fun with this girl and dont worry if she likes you or not, it seems irrelevant when you look at the larger picture (since she is wants that special fair well)
  5. Day_Walker
    i get the feeling that people dont understand what NC means, it means NO CONTACT, I believe that it doesnt have anything to do with giving the other person space, but that its part of the healing process. Speaking to that person prematurely will only bring up old feelings and will put more thoughts in your mind. Its not important to analyze what your ex says or does, it is important to realize that its over and you need to move on. Keep up the NC and if she does contact you then dont respond, its harsh but thats what you need to do.
  6. Day_Walker
    Well actually "people want what they cant have". There is a way to get out of this trap. It takes time, patience and knowledge. Most people arent will to get themselves out of this trap of wanting what you cannot have. If you think about it, then it makes no sense to want what you cannot have because if you do then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead go after the females that go after you, this way you are satisfied. This does not mean that you avoid the type of females that you would normally want, instead you be friendly with them and because you are satisfied (by the girls that want you). You are now a challange. You will be surprised how many females will start "liking" you.
  7. Day_Walker
    You are looking at this situation the wrong way. This girl wants to have sex with you and she has only been your gf for two weeks? Take a look at this situation, what if she does just want sex? is that really gonna hurt you? As long as you know thats what she wants then you wont have a problem. Have fun with the situation and live in the moment, it seems that this female doesnt want a long term relationship she just wants to have some fun, so why dont you have some fun too and enjoy then fun times you will have together. You dont have to worry about the typical relationship woes with this female because you are friends and you are having sex. Once the relationship has ended you werent hurt by being it you just had fun with the situation and let it be what it was going to be.
  8. Day_Walker
    First of all there is a reason why you two broke up and that reason seems to be that he cheated on you (one or multiple times it is unclear). You need to keep this in mind not just because of the act itself but it shows you that he acts selfishly. Another point to mention is that he is with a new girl that he is not "into", this also shows that he is acting selfishly because he is with a girl for other reasons than liking her. If these two points arent red flags then you are choosing to ignore them. Think about what you are telling yourself you are willing to get back with a guy who cheated on you and who you know acts selfishly for a guy who hasnt done anything wrong. You have even thrown around the word "soulmate", now why would your soulmate cheat on you, if you believe in soulmates at all wouldnt you think that if he was really your soulmate that he wouldnt cheat on you? The choice seems very obvious on who you should pick but sadly it is already clear who you will pick, so when you have more problems with your ex (soon to be bf) remember the advice you ignored.
  9. Day_Walker
    Why do you care that she thinks you are playing games? If she calls tell her that you dont need to discuss anything and that you have worked it out all by yourself. Its simple and effective because she needs to know that you arent waiting one her.
  10. Day_Walker
    Stay away from the classic dinner and a movie date. You want to keep the date light and fun. miniature golf billiards dinner and drinks the most interesting are the spontaneous choices while your out on a date.
  11. Day_Walker
    well the first thing you have to do is get a clear head. That may take some time but you need to make decisions when you are in the right frame of mind. Lets think this through clearly you said "past indescretions" first of all this is a red flag. When a person cheats it means they are dissatisfied with the current status of the relationship. At key moments such as this you want to end the relationship. Do not put up with a person cheating on you, not matter how much they beg and plead. You definitely need to step back and take a look at what this female has done to you and realize that she isnt the person for you. I would also suggest that you take some time away from females are realize somethings about your self and possibly get some counselling to help you deal with anything that you need to get off your chest.
  12. Day_Walker
    Whether you choose to see it or not you are her friend and you will always be her friend until she wants more from you. This means that it is going to be her move. You have given this girl everything that she would want out of a bf with none of the downsides. You should drop this female and pursue other interests because she is only going to play with you, she will keep sending you mixed signals until you dont know what to do. Move on and start seeing other females. Next time you are going to want to tone it down, dont always be there for her, dont talk to her everynight and NEVER EVER tell her that you love her (she should always say it first then later on down the line you can tell her). Just to clearify she doesnt not consider you to be anything more than a friend and you should do the same and move on.
  13. Day_Walker
    Well first of all the girl already thinks your sweet (which isnt gonna help your position any). Stopping by her car and giving her flowers is a really bad idea. That would be overkill, its obvious that you care about her feeling sad and she knows that. I would say you are on pretty shaky territory because she is gonna have quite a bit of down time (which usually indicates bad timiing, for what you have in mind). Be friendly with her but let her be the one to make the next move, if she wants to give you a call then she will otherwise she wont call. By meeting her at her car for a few minutes and giving her flowers you are giving your position away and it will scare her away. Give her space and let her come to you.
  14. Day_Walker
    Ultimately you decide what is right or wrong (in this case what is cheating and what isnt). I believe that looking at an attractive female while I am in a committed relationship isnt cheating, you will encounter attractive people where ever you go. It is something that is out of the realm of your control thinking that if you look at an attractive person while your are in a committed relationship sounds like jealous person who doesnt trust their partner.
  15. Day_Walker
    I think you need to take a new approach because if you are begging him for sex then you arent making him want to have sex. If you do try a new approach realize that it wont be easy because you are no longer going to beg him for sex. You are going to flip it on him, since he seems so uninterested in haveing sex with you then you do the same (like i said this was going to be hard). You want him to come you instead of it being the other way around. that would be the solution that preserves you relationship with him but you need to take note of this and realize that you have a higher sex drive than your significant other. If you feel that ihis sex drive has fallen off dramatically for no reason (some sort of sexual disfunction on his part) then you need to face the possibility the he is cheating.
  16. Day_Walker
    I didnt think they still made females that didnt give head. Obviously she is testing you by saying to get head from outside sources. This is one of those things that should be a straight forward decision. If you believe sex is important in a relationship (oral or vaginal) and she does not share the same belief then you are gonna have a difficult time ahead of you. Make the decision now if sex is really important to you (and it is very important in a relationship), if you find that it is important then you should find a female who shares the same belief as you. If you do decide to end the relationship you should make her think its for some other reason than sex. See how your gf responds to this statement "I believe sex in a relationship is an extention of communication and I want to communicate with you but you dont want to communicate with me". Its worth a shot and it might get her thinking.
  17. Day_Walker
    Well first of all there has to be a reason why she wont let you go for any longer than 15 mins. It could be a number of things, but there is only one thing that you have control over and that is your sexual activity. Take responsibility for her pleasure, learn more about pleasing her and see if that helps out your situation anymore. A helpful resource is link removed. However if she unwilling to compromise then take note of that and those kinds of issues will only increase with time. So be aware and look for what else is out there.
  18. Day_Walker
    Im not clear on exactly what you are asking. If you want to study with this girl because you believe she can help you in the class, then you can ask her if she wants to help you with something that you are having trouble with. The best place for this is the library or some other public place so you dont come off shady. If you want to study with her because you are interested in her then you still do it the same way since she really doesnt know you that well, conversate with her while you are studying but you should not vary too much from the class subject matter. Just be friendly with her and see how she responds from there. If there is a connection there then you can get to know her better i.e. go out for coffee and stuff like that.
  19. Day_Walker
    The easiest thing for him to do is use mouthwash before he goes downtown. The taste of the mouthwash will mask whatever else is there.
  20. Day_Walker
    It shouldnt be relevant if she likes you or not, this is only going to create confusion for you. She wants to mess around with you. That is the only thing you can say for sure, dont start developing feelings for this girl because you held her hand and fondled her. Enjoy the situation you are in and you can have a lot of fun with it because she didnt ask anything about a relationship or anything of that nature she just wants to fool around, just keep that in mind. It will hurt u more if she is interested in messing with you and you end up liking her. Have fun with her and Live in the moment with her and when that moment is over, realize that its done. If she wants anything more than messing around she will let you know.
  21. Day_Walker
    I am not going to judge you and say what you did was right or wrong cuz its irrelevant. This is one of those things that can happen when you have a connectoin with another person. What you need to do is flip the situation on her and stop coming off so strong. It is possible that you two can be friendly with eachother but you have to stop coming on so strong. You are only showing her how much you want her (she has all the power in the situation). Both of you have spouses so both of you have something to lose. You want to put yourself in a situation where you two are on a equal playing field (this means you have to get some power back). The only way this is going to happen is you have to stop persueding her to do things with you. I would suggest that you continue to have drinks, lunch or whatever but you cannot make a move on her. You need to hold back, this will confuse her and it will confuse her. This is whats going to give you back some power in the situation. Another thing is that you had fun with this female and you need to leave it at that. As you are well aware you have a family, so just calm down because you have a significant amount to lose if this situation goes bad. Live in the moment with this female at work but keep in mind the gravity of the greater situation you are in.
  22. Day_Walker
    Your position is very awkward but i think that you need to rethink this situation. Since you are a supervisor and this could look pretty bad if it goes wrong. I think you need to take the friendly approach first before you say how much you like this female. Do you only know her from work? Have you been out with her and coworkers? You want to create a friendly situation and let her get a chance to know you outside of work, the easiest way to do this is in a group setting. It's non threatening that way you get to know her better and your other coworkers. The easiest thing to do is meet up after work for a coworkers b-day, or just drinks after work just besure that there is a group of you. Otherwise it could look strange since you have a position of authority. Have fun with it, calm down on the jealousy, and you need to focus on other females not just the one at work.
  23. Day_Walker
    Well here is your first problem you want to be a challenge but you hate to play games, you have to play games in order to be a challange. Being a challenge is difficult if you have never done it or if you dont act that way naturally. There are other downsides to being a challange it is possible that the person could lose interest. Since you dont like to play games i will give you some simple things to do 1.Be the one to end your conversations first 2.Dont answer everytime he calls. 3. Use indirect methods of communication i.e. text message, email etc 4. Talk with him at sparatic times 5.Dont call when you say you are going to 6.Make sure he contacts you more than u contact him (ideally 3/1 or 4/1) That should be enough to get you started.
  24. Day_Walker
    There could be a number of things that could be the problem, instead of speculating what they might be, its best to get the information from her. Now if she is unwilling to communicate with you about the sexual relationship you share with her then you should take note of that. This can potentially cause problems later down the line, if she is unwilling to communicate with you about sexual things then later on it will be other things. All you can do is ask her to communicate with you and if she doesnt respond to that then, you shouldnt worry about it because she is unwilling to remedy the problem.
  25. Day_Walker
    I admit that i wasnt clear in my last post. Im talking about creating a situation with a female so that its not a date, more on friendly terms. Which is why i dont believe in the classic dinner and a movie date. By keeping the situation informal you get a chance to get to know the female without getting stuck into the rules of dating (i.e. paying for her). The situation you create by doing this allows you to keep your intentions unknown.
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