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Serendipity1607307077

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Everything posted by Serendipity1607307077

  1. Serendipity1607307077
    I moved out when I was 17 - my mum was starting to drive me nuts with her alcoholism and my stepdad had passed by about a year or so beforehand... but I made the choice of moving in with someone else, my boyfriend of 6 months. If you are thinking of moving out I would suggest that you do it with a group of friends or find a flatmate rather than being on your own. I don't think you will be able to legally rent a place until you are 18? Well I think that's the way it is where I live anyway... The real life isn't all about fun and games either. A part time job is going to give you some money but it probably won't be enough to pay for rent and food each week, as well as your college fees, books, clothes, whatever. There is not one person I know of that didn't have a fight or two when they were at home with their parents. It happens. Teenagers go through the stage of wanting their own freedom and want their parents to understand and respect their opinions...
  2. Serendipity1607307077
    Another world of warcraft addict... I actually have been put off lately from this game, all the pvping and raids and all that sort of thing... with 8 characters on Lothar.. Do you know what's really sad? I'm a guild leader... my guild is called "Giggity Giggity".. haha! The last few weeks I have been coming home from work and just relaxing on the couch instead of touching my computer... and it has been doing absolute wonders. I'm very glad that you have overcome the addiction!
  3. Serendipity1607307077
    I understand... it does get so complicated when you receive mixed messages... Guys quite often push themselves away if they feel like their gf is getting too clingy - do you feel that you act differently towards him when he reverts to "relationship mode"? Silly question I know, but it's just such a common reason for guys to distance themselves.. Replacement, or rebound, is considered to be a bad thing I guess... I have never had experiences with rebound relationships, usually I haven't had that much male attention (only when I'm attached - funny that)... I would suggest just no contact with him for a while until you clear your thoughts up and decide what you want to do... You said in your first post that you were flirting and interacting with other guys when you were getting over this guy, go back to doing that - even if it feels awkward, the male attention will do you some good
  4. Serendipity1607307077
    Broken, I am so sorry to hear about your loss... *hugs* It takes a long time to get over your grandfather's death, especially seeing you were so close to him, but as you said, he will always be with you, remember him for all of the wonderful times and experiences you shared with him. It almost seems like he didn't want you to see him die - so he waited till you left the room. Quite often when we think of our grandfathers they are still strong, they pick you up on their shoulders when you are young, and all that sort of thing.. and old people really don't like being old, they remember how strong and healthy they used to be, yet they can't do anything about their deterioration.. and they hate people seeing them weak... Stay close to your grandmother and help her out - she might seem strong on the outside but remember that she has lost someone that she has been with for such a long time, it will take a lot for her to be able to live without him... I am always here if you need help - PM me if you want support.
  5. Serendipity1607307077
    Steff, I know where you are coming from... When my stepdad died, he was in a hospital with my mother at his side, in a hospital over 2800kms away from me (Perth Royal). I had a gut feeling while I was at school that he had gone, came home and my grandparents (who were looking after us) told me the news... I cried the once, then couldn't cry any more. I believe that this is because you go into shock, and denial.. it doesn't feel real, and you don't really want to believe that it's true... and it takes a while for your real feelings to sink in. It's very painful, and takes a while to pass... but it will, just remember the good times you shared, never dwell on any bad, and remember her as the strong, loving person you knew and cherished. *BIIG HUG*
  6. Serendipity1607307077
    A lot of people who study psychology and the like start having second thoughts in their first year. This is because it's a lot to have to handle, and I can understand why you can be depressed from this. I am studying Counselling at the moment and they ask for a lot of examples, it has dredged up memories that I have kept suppressed for so long, and yes, it does make you depressed. Find activities and hobbies that can make you laugh, make you happy and get your mind off your studies. No one really knows what they want out of life - sometimes we can even set the bar too high! Just relax. You will find your calling, it just takes time. Moving back home wouldn't be a bad idea - you need support from your family and friends, and I am sure that they would rather you be with them in your time of need rather than on the street or in trouble... and don't feel weak for asking for help. You do need to get out of your eating disorder though, but this CAN be done. I had a small problem with bulimia during high school (I think this was brought on by peer pressure) and then it turned more serious once my stepdad died - I struggled with this for two years... it took something significant to bring me out of it... Just stay positive about your life..EVERYONE makes their own imprint and trail in life, and you might not even know what path you are on at the moment, but don't worry about it too much, you will find your place in our world, I promise
  7. Serendipity1607307077
    My bf had a huge collection when I first met him (understandably he had been single for about three years!). However, when we started getting serious, I told him that it made me uncomfortable and honestly I felt quite low because they are hotter, and hey, LOTS better at doing the dirty than I am... He said "Ok, I'll get rid of it" and I trusted him... I think I asked him three times to get rid of it, then caught him watching it one day.. When I found that he had betrayed me time and time again, I basically went cold to him, I told him I was breaking up with him because he didn't respect me and my wishes... and I think it took me at least three weeks to start showing affection again. Guys need to understand that if they are truly in love with their partner, they need to be able to make sacrifices. The Lord knows I have made numerous sacrifices for my partner on a day to day basis... A relationship is based on respect and trust. If you can't have either of those, well, it's just not worth it.
  8. Serendipity1607307077
    I think that this is basically you feeling flattered that he likes you, but you have to sit down and decide if you are better off with your current boyfriend or giving this other guy a chance (who basically was forcing you to kiss him, which for one, doesn't really sit right with me)... I think you are just infatuated with this new guy right now - but if your relationship with your boyfriend is strong and comfortable as it is, you have to consider whether it is worth breaking up for him for someone who might just be after a fling... Good luck!!
  9. Serendipity1607307077
    That's a tricky situation, but one that I have heard about quite a lot.. To me it sounds like he doesn't want to be in any sort of commitment - relationships can be a lot of work and I guess to me, it seems like he is just wants you to be friends (with benefits). I think you should move on and find someone who you can have a proper, FULL TIME relationship where you are actually getting something useful out of it.. I mean, stay friends with this guy by all means, but he doesn't want anything serious from what I can gather..
  10. Serendipity1607307077
    To be honest I have no idea what that means, must be an American saying.. Haha Annie! I should be studying/working now too.. but this forum is addictive..
  11. Serendipity1607307077
    I think it has a lot to do with previous experiences in your life... Mine, well I guess I relate my clingy behaviour (I'm not as bad now, but I used to be terrible - pushed SO many guys away) to my dad leaving at an early age, then the death of my stepdad in 2002... no male figure in my life did make things so difficult... I have got back into contact with my real dad over the last few months, which has allieviated my clinginess, but this is where I feel my problem lied/lay... (no mood for grammar). You just have to realise that you CAN live without your partner/boyfriend. If I feel myself getting clingy, I usually put myself out of my bubble and go and see a friend, do something that I want to do, such as watch Naruto, play Burnout, something like that... sometimes I even just make myself "cold" - in other words, don't talk, look at, interact with my partner so that he can have space! Even if I feel like I could really REALLY do with a snuggle.. I don't! It's hard to explain how to overcome... sometimes to overcome a fear you have to confront yourself with it I guess. Also, I guess you have to have a certain level of trust for your boyfriend as well... he has to understand why you are acting this way - have you tried explaining to him? It sounds silly but sometimes communicating your thoughts and feelings, no matter how silly they sound, can help immensely.
  12. Serendipity1607307077
    Beautiful poem, with so much thought and meaning.. I hope you get past your pain.
  13. Serendipity1607307077
    I know.. and I have seen so many people in the same situation and thought, "pfft - idiot!".. but I just love helping him, making him feel comfortable, happy, healthy, safe... and it does take it's toll... Good example - Luke is getting DVD's and computer games to the value of about $550 (AUD) for Christmas this year... I do this because I love him, he has said "Ooh wouldn't it be great if I could have..." and he growled at me for buying all of these things for him, but I just want to see him happy, I guess, even if it puts me at a disadvantage... I just love him to smithereens..haha Yeah it's a good idea... it's just difficult.. when Luke gets home from work, he doesn't like going out much, he likes his unwinding time... though we did go to tea last week, which was really nice... He just loves playing his games to unwind.. but sometimes it feels a bit like he is avoiding reality a bit..
  14. Serendipity1607307077
    Hi Pilot I'm so sorry to hear that you are still going through immense pain. It does feel like a huge kick in the gut when someone you love so much, and thought you had a wonderful relationship with, all of a sudden changes. And it's never easy... This is one of the major problems with male society - men always are portrayed as being strong, and it's seen as lame or weak to cry... "Be a man"... that kind of thing just doesn't sit right with me. You love her, you are still grieving because you don't know what went wrong. You are allowed to cry, and show this emotion, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't because it's 'girly'... this will help you move on.. you need that release of emotion to help yourself heal. You really do need to cut off any communication with her, even if it's really painful. Put any photos, belongings, CD's or whatever in a box and put it away, hide it away and don't open it.. take up new hobbies and get some enjoyment out of life... it's the only way you will be able to get out of your ditch. A number of people on this forum will probably agree that you should try out the proven and successful no contact as well... that's the only way you will be able to deal with things. Unless you rent out or sell your house to someone and move closer to work, I see that you are going to keep going around in circles with this depression... And the hardest but best way to get over her, is to break old habits... take up new hobbies and interests... put yourself out there and spend more time with your mates...again, your location sounds like a problem but I guess something has to be done.. because otherwise with all this contact you are never going to get past the pain.. Just my point of view...
  15. Serendipity1607307077
    Heheh, thanks for all of your repsonses, it's great to know that I'm not alone!
  16. Serendipity1607307077
    I think this is a bad habit - if you are thinking like this, you are probably reflecting it as well, as you might come accross as being clingy... You feel like you need to be dependent on a partner... and it's better that you don't think this way. You need to live for YOU and you only. Relationships come and go, but you have to think about you as the number one person... You feel so selfless when you have someone else to consider, because you are scared that you will lose them.. but guess what.. if you think about you before anyone else, your goals and everything will never be pushed aside... You shouldn't make time for him... make time for yourself. If he likes you, he will make time for YOU! It's almost like you feel pressure to live up to his expectations.. here's something else - he was attracted to you for a reason. How you act normally (before you realise a guy likes you) should be the way you act when you know he DOES like you. Why? Because this is why he was attracted to you in the first place. Someone with direction and purpose, someone who wants to go places, who is friendly and caring, yes, but not to the point where they feel suffocated.. Just throwing ideas around!
  17. Serendipity1607307077
    Hello all, Last night I had a bit of a cry.. and it's going to sound silly, but any advice that you give, even if it's just a virtual slap on the face, will be considered valuable and helpful.. I'm 19 years old and living with my bf/partner/fiancee, whatever you want to call it, for close to two years now... he found me crying yesterday, and I just felt really down... I feel like a 40 year old... I'm continually tired, and I have three children (dog, cat and kitten, hehe)... and sex drive= non existent, seeing my partner is always tired from his work... I know he's not cheating or anything... he does so much for me and vice versa...well, I do more for him that he does for me, but he still puts in effort. My job involves a lot of coordination of events and so on, and that sort of thing isn't usually done by someone with my level of experience, rather someone a lot older with 10+ years experience... I have been doing a lot of study of late but the course I am doing at the moment just isn't sitting very well with me at the moment, and I am not quite sure if I want to continue... My partner and I talked about it and he said he kinda feels the same, though I'm pretty certain that his isn't as amplified as mine... I guess I just feel like I have had this pressure to be adult for the majority of my life... considering what has happened, I have had a pretty good run and have been pretty good at recovering... but I kinda had to be there for my mum a lot during my childhood up until I was about 18... and have always had to be the strong one in my family, but whenever I crumble, people almost put out that vibe saying "YOU? Crying? But you are supposed to be the strong one!" like it's expected of me.. He said we should probably go out more, but I know this isn't really a big problem, seeing I'm not big on socialising.. So is this something that can be rectified or is it a slap on the face scenario?
  18. Serendipity1607307077
    I'm very sorry to hear about your breakup... Splitting up with someone you love always involves a rocky and bumpy road to recovery and acceptance. Everything will be reminding you of her.. the best you can do is help yourself by removing those things that remind you of her... Spend more time with your friends, they will help to keep you occupied... and this will help too... Find distractions such as playing sport, and networking (as in meeting new people)... that sort of thing... It takes time, and it will be difficult, but if you think positively you will get past it.. and hey, you are still young - you have PLENTY of time to find the one.
  19. Serendipity1607307077
    Naughty as it is, I do this... my bf checked himself for STD's and evils before we started having sex... I don't particularly like condoms much... too much effort for the likes of me.. I realise that it's not 100% foolproof, but I wouldn't mind having a kid anyway! haha..
  20. Serendipity1607307077
    My stepdad (who died a couple of years ago, not from war though) actually served in WWII. He didn't tell us much about the war, only that his younger brother died, and he went deaf in his left ear from an explosion near him... I think it was a part of him that he wished he could remove.. The military is always made to sound cool and very exciting, but think about it - war is a waste of life, and even though you want to be recognised for your achievements, you can do that in ANY career if you put your mind to it.. Think about your future... do you want to have a wife and kids that you can lavish love and attention on? What if you survive from going to Iraq and whatever but only have one arm? Your parents are probably very frightened at the thought of your dying or losing you... and I think that's understandable... you can always enter the reserves so you can get experience and training that way, and I am sure your parents would prefer that greater to you being in the frontlines.. can you imagine the pain of raising a child and then have him/her get killed in a war? I am sure that it wouldn't be easy... People who have just returned from war also suffer immense hardships when trying to fit back into society as well.. there has been a big study and debate about this in Australia (yes, it was on Triple J radio) a few months ago, where they actually spoke to people who had returned to Australia after a stint in Iraq... some of them had seen their friends and even their family getting killed right in front of their eyes.. Just think about it carefully and think about your future carefully. It is honorable yes, but is it worth losing your life over? You only get one chance at living..
  21. Serendipity1607307077
    There isn't anything wrong with age differences - there is four years between my partner and I, there was 40 years between my mum and my stepdad, and there are six years between my grandmum and grandad... it's quite common!! Well, in my experience anyway! haha.. As long as you are happy and on the same wavelength, and CLICK (the most important!) then it's fantastic and you should treasure this relationship. Just be careful if you are going to get into a situation where you break up someone's relationship.. not a good spot to be in at all... I watched the damage that it caused to my mother with her first marriage (I was five at the time and it took her YEARS to get over it)... but you probably already know to be careful.. And yes, hate to say it but women are a lot more mature than men a lot of the time..
  22. Serendipity1607307077
    That sounds really good - I wish I could tempt my bf with something like that.. he would probably laugh at me and go back to his computer game.. lol
  23. Serendipity1607307077
    Talk to him about it - I think that's a good place to start. And make sure he understands that you don't want to have sex until you feel comfortable enough to do it... you HAVE to be ready, you shouldn't be forced because you feel bad that your partner isn't getting any... if he loves you (which I am sure he does) he will wait for you.
  24. Serendipity1607307077
    You are only 14, it is almost certain that you will have a growth spurt. The development will depend on your diet and also on genetics... and from what I have seen in my family it seems that every generation gets taller.. Have a look at your dad and imagine yourself a few inches taller, and that is how tall you should be.. well, from what I can see anyway, that's a pretty good guess of how tall you should be, unless your Mum's side of the gene pool is stronger. My Mum is 5' 4", and I am 5'7 1/2"... my dad is 6' flat and my brother is 6' 1".
  25. Serendipity1607307077
    Hi Ray, *BIIIGG HUG* I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum, it's never easy to go through something like this. I think the best thing that you can do for your Mum is to stay positive for her (even if you don't feel positive!), as this will rub off on her and make her feel a lot better. They say that laughter is the best medicine, so try and keep this in mind. It's hard to stay positive during such a traumatic time, but please try... if nothing else it will cheer your Mum up... Just do as much as you can for her, as long as you aren't kind of 'intruding' - she might feel vulnerable and helpless and might get a bit snappy if you try and do too much.. but most of all, just be there for her. Be her rock, her shoulder to cry on, and someone she can talk to.. It's never easy, and remember she is probably just as shocked as you are.. Breast cancer is such a common disease nowadays, and women have to be so careful - it can strike you when you are quite young... you said that it's a genetic thing - just make sure you get tested at least once a year, to keep on top of it.. you can't exclude yourself, especially if your family have died because of cancer when they are just in their 50's... My cousin Krystal died of cancer when she was just 14 years old - it wasn't breast cancer, but it was still a very difficult time for my family... all I can say about it is chemo is, well, just awful (I wrote something else but it got censored, hehe) ... I don't think that's the sort of thing your mother should have to go through - it really does knock you around and make you feel both physically and emotionally exhausted, and it can't really be good to heal yourself (well, it might help physically, but emotionally it just makes you feel sooo crappy). I will have you and your family in my prayers tonight, and if you ever need someone to talk to, even to vent, you know I am here... if you want my MSN/Email details please feel free to PM me anytime..
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