Serendipity1607307077

Now that you have identified your feelings, you will have a better chance of finding out how to go about feeling better about yourself. It takes time, but you have realised that you can't go on being unhappy. The best thing to start with is to do something positive for yourself or say something positive to yourself. Instead of looking in the mirror and saying "I don't like my nose", think "Gee, my eyes look really sexy today!". No one EVER feels completely happy with themselves... there is always something to compromise the way a person feels... and there are always going to be hardships... but that's not all there is to life. Life is all about learning and experiencing as much as you can... it is a short timeframe when you think about it so do what makes you happy and don't worry about what other people think of you. Be happy for who you are - a talented person who contributes to our society

I love my Luke because he is both gorgeous and intelligent. He has gorgeous, intense blue eyes, and a wonderful sense of humour. And I'm going to marry him! yay!!

Valentine's Day is just another hallmark holiday, so I never make a big issue of it. At school I never got sent a Valentine's Day anything! There were certain people at school who would tell me I was getting something from this boy I had a crush on... and then watch me get disappointed and laugh at me! I wouldn't take it seriously if I were you... there are more important things than worrying about if you are going to get a Valentine's card or flowers... it sounds good but really it's not worth the effort in the end!

WOW! Thank you very much for your advice guys! I sat him down and just said "I know you probably don't want to talk about this but I don't want to go through and plan things for the wedding then find out that you don't agree on some of the plans.." and he let me go through what I had been planning (I have only been planning for three days! LOL! But still!) and what I was going to plan, and he seemed comfortable with it. I checked once more if he was comfortable with the whole thing, and he said he was, so I guess I'm going to have to trust his word! From the outset I have let him choose his groomsmen, though I pretty much knew who they would be anyway. I'm going to get his help in music, even though we have pretty similar tastes anyway I think it's good that he gets a little bit involved. NJ, I agree with you, that weddings are pretty much for the bride's benefit as opposed to the groom! I doubt Luke wants all the formalities but I can't imagine anyone else that I want to be with! And I have a shocking last name so I'll get to change my name! hehe! Thank you all once again for your assistance with this! Really appreciated!!!

Hey all Just wanted to start off by saying after being engaged for over a year now, my fiancee is finally letting me pick a date for our wedding! I have picked a date and I am starting to look at budgets and everything, it's going to be next year but especially with venues, you need to book early. Well, that's how it is in Australia anyway... What annoys me though is that when I try and tell Luke what I would like to do (I feel it's good to consult, even if your partner says "I don't care, run with it"), he just says "I'm busy, can we talk about this later..." or comes accross as being a bit hostile... and I'm not very impressed... when I finally think he is ready for something like a wedding to happen (which is a year and a half away yet) he just becomes a big pain in the rear!!! I talked to him about this, I asked him if he was comfortable and told him that I didn't want to push him into anything until he was ready. Then, when he is ready, well, he isn't! I'm just so confused... I think this is just a venting post really.... *sigh* he's playing Battlefield and I have been trying to talk to him about this since Friday... is it just a male thing, or does he *really* want to be kept out of the picture and let me organise everything?

Well if she didn't indicate that she was interested in you when you told her you were, then you probably didn't do anything wrong by moving on... there is no point waiting for this one person to start liking you. Find someone who does, and though it's good to keep your options open, it's probably not a great thing that both of these girls are aware that you like both of them.. know what I mean?

Night time you will find to be very difficult because you are used to sleeping in the same bed or talking to him before you go to sleep... perhaps you can combat this by talking to one of your closest friends before you go to bed. Hug your pillow or your biggest teddy! Things will get better, they just take time... make sure that you aren't too hard on yourself, give yourself a big pat on the back for each day you overcome.

I know that Luke isn't one to cheat, he has told me that there is no way in the world he will find someone who treats him as well as I do... he is pretty spoilt.... Luke loves it when I come to LAN parties with him because it means he can show off that his GF is open to his geekdom... and I love being able to make him happy by playing games with him and embracing his world. We have become a lot closer and more open to each other since we talked. I guess that I felt ok with him going to the LAN party but in the end I realised that it would have been nice to do 'something' to celebrate, whether it was dinner or otherwise. When I first met him, he was on anti-depressants which I made him come off (he had been on them for three years) and he has stomach medication which he has been on for a while now, to combat his reflux. I think that this medication has a lot to do with his lack of sex drive. I guess it doesn't help that I am on the pill which I have heard also lowers sex drive in women who take them.... We are slowly getting through it though and as is for most men, talking about your lack of desire to have sex is a very sensitive issue and one that he is aware of... despite this, we DO have a wonderful base relationship, and I appreciate all the advice I have received on this forum since being with him - you guys have shaped me and my relationship and I cannot thank you enough for the support that you have shown me!

Thanks for your help and suggestions... sorry I didn't respond sooner.. we actually just went through a cyclone here.. so yeah... I spoke to Luke about what I was feeling and we did sort out a lot, I think we are getting on a lot better now... I really appreciate all your comments!

Very passionate! It's wonderful and heartfelt. Keep up the good work.

Hi guys.. I have a wonderful relationship with my fiancee whom I have been with for just over two years now... we have had my problems but have been able to address them and have a stronger relationship because of it... Ever since our anniversary (on which we had no 'celebration' of our togetherness, he went out to a LAN party instead - I was ok with it to start with by I realised later I wasn't) I haven't felt the same way about him... this last week, when he kisses me and hugs me, I don't feel the same affection for him that I used to.. And it's just making me upset.. because I thought he was going to be the one that I was going to be with for the rest of my life.. I still love him, but I don't know whether I still LOVE him... I want to sort this out with him.. but I hate having to bring things up like this... I hate hurting people because I have felt all sorts of emotional pain... I don't like making people upset.. He's my first 'serious' boyfriend and he always said that he is scared that I would leave because I wanted more experience and 'single girl' fun... and I always swore that this wouldn't happen, that I love him incredibly, and I have no need for anyone else... lately I have been thinking on this a bit and I think I have a bit of a crush on this guy that I have been online gaming with.. I have known him for about a year now, he's funny, hot and fit... he also understands me, I have told him everything about Luke and he has been there for me..I know the grass is always greener so I'm not going to do anything silly like cheat, but I guess this might have swayed my emotions a bit.. I don't know whether I want guidance or whether I'm just venting a bit, probably a bit of both.. any comments are appreciated..

Have you talked to her about this to her face? Whenever my partner has a problem with something, I encourage him to talk to me directly and honestly about it and do the same if I have problems with him. If he is unhappy with something, I change it for him because I love him. If she is in denial about this and won't change this, I think that that's not what a relationship is about.. and it does sound that she might be doing something more.. you aren't just a puppet of hers - you are her boyfriend. She should be respecting you.

My boyfriend of two years now had had previous sexual partners, and I was a virgin when I started going out with him. It is difficult when you have waited for the right person but your partner kinda hasn't, and you know they have been with others, it does make you think about if they were better than you etc etc. To date he is still the only person I have had sex with and I don't see myself with any other partner. I think that you should talk this over with him. See what his problems/anxieties are about having sex and try and work these through with him. It can be difficult for a first timer being with someone who has more experience, but over time they do learn to get over it and live with it. I don't hate him or regret him having previous gfs, I wasn't in his life then, but I did talk this over and he understood why I felt the way I did. Let him set the pace with this and see when and if he is ready to commit to you. Losing your virginity is a very significant thing for a lot of people and you need to be certain you are losing it to the right person.. I guess that's from the virgin's perspective!

It is better to be a welcoming parent and enjoying your time as a parent than having an unwanted child. A child should always feel loved and protected by their parent! It seems like you have desire to maintain this. In the end it's your decision, and if you are happy then it's no one elses business but your own. Just make sure you you are the best parent you can be! Babies aren't easy to look after, but at the same time they can be a joy. I can't wait till I have babies..

You can get a lot of pressure on your bladder when having sex or using a vibrator and sometimes the sensation of a vibrator can relax your bladder muscles as well! Just make sure you go to the toilet before and after you use it, to prevent it.

Leave in conditioners and treatments are good. Just don't put a heap of products in there and leave your hair to get back to normal before dying/styling it. It will get better, you just have to give it a chance to recover! Make sure you aren't washing your hair too many times a week either, or your hair will lose its natural oils.

I'm in the same boat as you... One of my closest friends has a 1 year old and is planning her marriage this year, and the other is pregnant and got married last year.. of course all they can talk about is marriage and babies.. I just sit there nodding and smiling.. and it hurts.... Perhaps you should move further afield and start somewhere new. As silly as it sounds, there will always be someone out there for you. And as soon as you stop caring about getting a gf, you will get one. Same thing happened to me... Stay positive!

Hi Hot Soup It's difficult when everyone around you seems to be better off than you. But you are you. You need to stop looking at what everyone else is doing, and work on you. Get confidence, go out more, enjoy your life. Don't worry about not having girlfriends or whatever. When you become more happy about yourself, your confidence will grow, and you will appear easier to approach by the opposite sex. Live your life for you, don't worry about other people judging you. EDIT: Don't allow others to set you a benchmark. You need to go your own pace.

I went through a similar thing in 2002. I had just gotten together with this guy, we were going really well together, and my stepdad died. He broke up with me as soon as he found out. Of course this just amplified everything I was going through, and I ended up hating him for it... seeing if he had gone through the same thing I would have been there for him.. I guess some people just don't care. When you lose someone you love, it does feel surreal. You think maybe it's some sick joke someone is playing on you, even though it's not April! When my stepdad died he had to get flown to a better hospital. Only my mother went down there with him, we had to stay at home. It does take a while to settle in. Don't think that the road is going to be easy. Just be there with your family and help each other through.

Thank you very much for your advice! I'll definitely let you know how things go!

Cool, I'll get this checked out... the doctors up here are terrible.. and there is a shortage of them.. I figured it wouldn't be anything serious because my mum has it as well and she is fit as a fart... lol.. I'll definitely get it all checked though! Thank you very much!

Hair does grow on my legs, it's just my feet that seem to be it... they are a normal colour and everything...

Hey guys I get cramps in my feet quite a bit (most particularly in my toes) and they are always cold. I try and wear socks or slippers where I can but yeah, I'm not sure what else to do... This has been happening ever since I was younger and I was wondering if anyone knows what I can do to combat this? Cheers.. Feel free to ask further questions if you need clarification.

Stay away from your best friend until he has gotten over his current girlfriend. It's not a good idea to get in while he is going through a breakup. There is nothing wrong with liking the same guy as someone else, as long as you don't make her feel like you are "stealing" him away from her... give it all time!

Perhaps you might even be thinking on this a bit too much and this is reflecting when you have sex. When you started having sex with guys, was this purely experimental or do you actually prefer guys to girls? Perhaps try dating girls and see what happens.. there is nothing wrong with being attracted to both sexes.