Jump to content

lonelyandblue

Bronze Member
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    423

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by lonelyandblue

  1. lonelyandblue
    Thank you
  2. lonelyandblue
    Thank you
  3. lonelyandblue
    Thank you
  4. lonelyandblue
    Thank you. I wasn't parented and did my best but admit that I lost some "tools" what have you in the teen years and my personal fault of hating arguments. Also what I see is I spoiled and did not instill chores early on enough and I thought I was strict but now I see where I missed and not strict enough. As far as instability, A little but not a lot. I really tried to have stability for her. She is very well adjusted for the most part, but now I see more clearly my faults and also the places where I need to place correction with her.
  5. lonelyandblue
    That has been a concern of mine is rents, but she refuses to get a job to help herself, save, and you know meet people, socialize. Rents can be from $900 for a two bedroom thru $1300. I understand the struggle so I try to understand but she is a hurricane around the house and doesn't pick up after herself and doesn't have respect for me.... I try to set terms for chores and general attitude and she argues and throws nasty fits....it's not pretty and I am sad because I guess I set a poor example or something.......
  6. lonelyandblue
    Trust your gut instinct. From everything that you have stated here, it sounds like you know exactly what is going on and it is unhealthy and my advice is to run and find someone you can be healthy with.
  7. lonelyandblue
    I never expected my daughter to still be here as she so animatedly expressed to me many times that she would be out as soon as she was 18. But here, she just turned 20. She goes to college, does not contribute to the house through either chores consistently or rent and she does not work. We bicker a lot and I can't help but believe it is time for her to grow up. How do I make this happen??? I feel inadequate as a parent because things haven't worked out as she hasn't matured along with her peers...... I encouraged her and helped her write a resume. Bought books explaining adulting and leases, etc.... What can I do???
  8. lonelyandblue
    I am guessing not. You would think so given that she has a husband and a kid. But I've had enough of her having my life. I want my own back.
  9. lonelyandblue
    I have a "good" friend. But it has come to the point where even if I am ill, she will come over for hours, answer my phone, talk to my friends on IM, etc. When she talks to some people on my IM she confuses them when she says hello I am a friend of XXX, ..... I am a private person and independent. I can't take the constant phone calls etc. I am a quiet, considerate person who has a hard time w/confrentation or standing up for myself. Now she is a good person, but I seem to attract controlling people? Would there be any way to confront her about these things and keep the friendship? Or should I sever the whole thing so I can be "free" again.
  10. lonelyandblue
    Sometimes I don't know how to handle things. But today I feel rather pissed as I asked a friend if she'd like some coffee and she replies," Oh, I've got housework to do. I don't have all day M-F to clean it like some people do." Which I feel was a direct reference to me because I am currently unemployed. Then, my dad is incredibly inconsiderate by being between 2-4 hours late for taking me and my daughter "to town", as he promised. So I am a bit angry at the moment. THinking I took these things wrong. But I was really looking forward to going and now, I am so pissed it's not worth going. I was hoping that he and I would have a better time than usual because things seemed stressed, but now it really is. -Sigh- of course this would happen when I'm working hard on self-improvement.
  11. lonelyandblue
    I'm sorry. It looks like he is looking for every reason in the world to break up with you. He may have someone else on his mind, he may also be very immature. I'd go through the process and go on.
  12. lonelyandblue
    All I can do is sympathize. My life is such a mess. I haven't got a divorce yet, but planning on it due to abuse issues. ANd ever since it's like I've lost my grounding in life. I am not well. And in school I was shy and awkward, although I enjoyed university. I guess all I can say is hang in there. It has to get better doesn't it?
  13. lonelyandblue
    I am so absolutely lost. I have never known what stability felt like and I definetly want it to be different for my child. But it is not going well. I married the wrong person, got in some bad circumstances where these people in my extended family harassed me where the harassment followed me out of state. So I moved to another where I reside with my father. Well we moved into this house he was renting with the lease option to buy. Now he tells me he doesn't know if he'll meet the lease agreement and then they would have to sell this house again. which means we are gone again. I am dizzy from moving so much. And this isn't the life I wanted. and not the lifestyle for my child. I am going to get a job in July because it may take that long for the state to be able to assist me with child care costs. Then I could help him keep the house so we could stay put. But then I feel like I should buy my own house which I can't do because of bad credit. This whole "life" thing is quickly becoming a nightmare and out of control. I strongly want to hit the red "exit" button, but I can' t find it,lol. If I didn't have child, I would consider suicide. Even with I can consider, but fully know it is not a possibility. This is certainly not what I wanted for us. I want stability and safety and bright futures. I don't know what to expect, just to vent, or suggestions, whatever works...
  14. lonelyandblue
    Please give me some advise as I am stuck. I have truly gone through it all, most of it being in the last year. I have moved like 6 times in two years, two of the moves out of state. I am up to my eyeballs in debt. My husband and I are broke up and I was thinking it was temporary but now that I'm out of it, I'm going to go forward with a divorce. And now I've found a place I love to live, but I'm broke. I'm working a job and mainly it's paying for daycare right now until and if the state helps. I don't want to quit 'cause the jobs local and later I might make some money. But I'm wondering if I should quit for my daughter's sake and just be spending time with her. Don't know which is better, be a better provider, or try to "be there" for her and get her life as well as mine back on track??? She is 4 and may start preschool in the fall... Any ideas? (Sorry if I've confused anyone...)
  15. lonelyandblue
    May I suggest music as a theraputic measure?? Sorry it may sound trivial, but being in a breakup myself recently, I would recommend it. Kind of distracts you.
  16. lonelyandblue
    I agree. And maybe through shelter referalls, etc. you could get some group therapy, counseling, etc. Good luck for your future.
  17. lonelyandblue
    Yes, I belong to this group. One problem, I can almost swear it, is your location. I am betting you would be more popular in a different area. It happened for me, suprisingly.
  18. lonelyandblue
    I am sorry, your mother was wrong. Knowing he had this problem, she should have had kept him away from you. People make mistakes, I hope that she is sorry. Sincerely so. I hope she wishes she could take things back. I hope also, that you are okay emotionally. Have you spoken with your spouse about these events?? maybe she could help and offer you some solutions.
  19. lonelyandblue
    This woman obviously needs to resolve some personal issues. You should move on and hope the best for her future and that she finds the help she needs. Good luck to your future and finding a healthier relationship.
  20. lonelyandblue
    IS it possible that he is lazy and immature? Maybe playing manipulative little games and he plays because he knows you care about him. Maybe leaving would be a wake up call and give him some time to grow up.
  21. lonelyandblue
    I am totally hearing you right now. I have only one suggestion and that is to go to a library or Bookstore with some time on your hands and grab every book of interest with the possibility of an answer to your questions in them. Then skim through them and reflect. This has helped me come up with some answers on a small level.
  22. lonelyandblue
    What a complete jerk. Do you really want to waste any more time with someone that treats you like this??
  23. lonelyandblue
    Recently, my family has faced phenominal stress as a false accusation threatens our livelihood, our sanity, our family. And as if that weren't enough of a stress load, now our landlords want to 're-negotiate' our lease five months into it. And we have no where to go and don't want to move. I feel betrayed by my dad who offered to rent us this house. It is the parsonage of the church. And because we were poor and they were poor, we were renting from them for cheap, so they could receive some rent every month to help cover their bills. Now my dad has stepped down as pastor, and the deacons want to change the terms of our lease. We just started to attend this church for a second time because of the first stressor. So I feel betrayed by them as well. I have had to quit my job which was money we were using to save up for a house. We have been being good contributing members of society and my family(outside of immediate-daughter, husband) is not supportive. Part of my family is the accusers trying to cause trouble. And the thing is that they are lying and I have worse things to say about them that are true. I 've always had a Christian faith. And there's been years in my life where I've let myself go, but overall I've been overly nice, not cussed, watched how I treated others. So overall I am so sick and tired of this disgusting life. And I have one reason and one reason only to hang on and that is my daughter. Because I know in this tough world she will need a support system. Thanks for letting me vent and I'm sorry to be a downer but am truly disgusted at people and life right now as illustrated above.
  24. lonelyandblue
    I have the same problem so I've resolved to shaving the sides only and trimming the rest.
  25. lonelyandblue
    A clean house, sex, and a cooked meal. Sad, but true.
×
×
  • Create New...