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MollyElise

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Everything posted by MollyElise

  1. I think that the best thing for you to do right now is to go back to the no contact rule. Sometimes you can get hit with missing someone when you least expect it. This probably will not last long, especially if you stop seeing her and hearing about her going ons. Good luck, and remember you are not alone!
  2. I think that if she is doing better now it might be a good thing to bring up. As in, you know I was thinking and a year ago blah blah was going on, I can't believe it was a year ago, Im very glad that you are happier now. Since your relationship is just coming on a year you will probably have lots of opportunities to talk like this. I always like to reflect and think about where I was a year ago and if this is where I thought I would be.
  3. It sounds to me like you feel like your boyfriend is being disrespectful towards you all the way around. Why do you want to be in a relationship with this man? If the answer is "love" you may want to seriously think about your personal definition of love. I think that the two biggest things that make up love are respect and trust. Does your boyfriend fulfill your ideas of love? Also please remember that your bf cannot make you unhappy without you allowing him to. You are the only one who has control over your life. Good luck! And remember that you are not alone!
  4. Sometimes I feel like this, I hate it. Its like, everything is fine, but inside I feel like everything is wrong! And I feel very anxious. The best cure Ive found is valium. I think it is a sort of panic attack, anxiety disorder, if it is bothering you on a regular basis I would go see your doctor. Good Luck! And remember, you are not alone!
  5. Well having lived with her and her children for 4 years you do have some responsiblity. Unfortunately if you leave, one way or the other you will end up being a bad guy. But also the mother really shouldn't have allowed a cohabitation situation with her children around, because you're like well I never promised you anything, Im sick of y'all so Im leaving. Think about the commitment you have made by being there, you may not have made a legal commitment, but you did make an emotional one. You have been acting like this is your family, family doesnt walk out. Sounds like you've made up your mind to leave. If you want me to tell you that it's okay, well sorry, it's not.
  6. It deffinately becomes better with time. I have good posture and mostly don't have to think about it. Sometimes during certain activities I may slump, but it usually tires me and becomes uncomfortable. The main reason its so hard for you is because you are training muscles that haven't been fully developed. Once they are good and strong they will hold your back naturally and it will not be such a strain. I would also do some good back stretching at least once a day. When you have a 5-10 minutes of quiet time lay on the floor, be quiet and stretch out all your back. Listen to your body. You may want a couple of small pillows for underneath your lower back, knees and head (smaller pillows are better). You can also stretch out your lower back by raising one bent leg at a time to your chest and pulling it in. Doing some good stretching will help release some of the tension that has built up over the years from your bad posture and will help you become more aware and intune with that part of your body. Good luck! and remember you are not alone!
  7. That resentment towards teenagers is understandable. Unfortunately you cannot change the fact that you weren't in a relationship as a teenager. You can change now though. We all have only a certain amount of energy, and you are using alot of yours right now being angry. Do you want to be a graduate with a job that is angry at all the college students having sex, and a good time because you wasted you are wasting your college years on anger. Think about all the time, thoughts and emotions you have put towards this anger, now imagine if all that had been put towards looking for a partner or bettering yourself to make yourself more desirable. Also I think that part of your anger comes from fear due to intimate relationships being somewhat unknown to you. Realizing that fear may help it lessen. Good luck, and remember you are not alone!!
  8. I think you did the right thing telling her, she may not have liked what she heard, but she deffinately won't like you lying to her. A relationship is about communicating, that means the good and the not so good. ALSO lies tend to build for many reasons, to cover up other lies is a big one but also because you know you can get away with it. I look at any lie in a relationship as a brick between you, and the more lies you tell, the harder to see or be with your partner. Good Luck!
  9. Maybe he thought carrying panties in your book bag was kinky. And that the fact that they are your panties, makes them sexy. Sounds like your bestfriend has a crush on you.
  10. Sounds to me like he probably doesn't know what he wants. Have you asked him? Just friends is what he said. I feel like this is a really inaproppriate thing to ask, but, are you sure he's not gay? It seems like he wants everything that you offer, except sex. Well good luck, enjoy being his friend if nothing else. It sounds like yall are having a great time as friends, you should ask yourself why you want to be in a relationship with him, and if you are happier like this or the other way.
  11. You should hang out with the guy you like. The guys can have it out, its their issue. I mean, Jay should've had the guts to talk to you straight, he is now finding out 1 of the reasons its not a good idea to use a middle man. Date the guy you like, and dont worry about them.
  12. I am dealing with this problem, and this is not the first time me and my bf have fought over it. I have girlfriends, but most of them live out of town, and the rest have very busy lives, so I get together with them only 1-2 times a month. I also have a very close family that I spend time with on a weekly basis and several other groups of acquaintances, though I dont spend much of my free time with them. When I do get together with my girlfriends we usually go out, for dinner, a show, shopping, drinks, out. My BF's friends are mostly non ambitious, younger, pretty nice people. Most of them are not people that I would choose as friends. But they come over to our house pretty often anywhere from 1-5 times a week to hang out for the whole evening. Their was a point that it was becoming excessive, but it has been curtailed and is no longer an issue. There are a few of his friends that I have gotten to know, and I hang out with. Including one of his friends Danielle and her bf Gabe. D&G used to hang out with us ALOT! but they moved out of town and we dont see them much anymore at all. WELL thats all background. Danielle is having a party tonight for graduating high school, she called last night and invited us. My BF has to work tonight until 10:00. I was talking to him and said, well I may go ahead and go over there and you can meet me, b/c I don't want to wait until 10:00, especially when I want to be home by midnight at the latest. Well he got upset, he said that I would do what I wanted, but that he didn't like the idea. Now WTF, I hang out with your friends, become friends with them, hang out with them as a couple, but I can't by myself. What do you think of this situation?
  13. Hey Puny. I think that a variation in protein intake from 100-150 gm/day shouldn't be a big problem. And yes, you can eat too much protein, it can overtax your liver. I was told by my nutriotionalist that you should eat 1/3-1/2 your weight in protein grams and 1/2-2/3 your weight in protein grams if you are trying to build muscle mass. I wouldn't go over 150gm/day of protein. good luck!
  14. OK now I have a problem with this. What you're trying to say is don't smoke pot because it may cause a chemical imbalance in your child resulting in a disease. Firstly, THC leaves the body fairly quickly and if you havent done pot in over a year there is nothing left, we have this handy thing called a liver that cleans our bodies. Also, There are thousands of chemicals and other stressors that effect your body and your baby every day, we have no idea what all those little chemicals are doing to us. Any medical doctor will tell you that they do not know what causes ADD (I personally believe its brought upon by environmental factors). Lastly, just to throw this in, both my parents smoked pot before, during and after all three of their children, and none of us have had any childhood diseases and have done well in school. I understand that you have looked for reasons for having this disease and have come to the conclusion that marijuana is why you have ADD. I am not questioning the sincerity of your belief in this, but I am DEFFINATELY questioning the truth of it. As far as what you were taught in school, the US school system is notorious for passing around some hillarious drug propaganda, just cause they told you it was true in school, doesn't mean its true. Marijuana is a natural plant, if used in moderation it is harmless. And just cause Im on this. What about alchohol?!? talk about birth defects! I think its ridiculous that a dangerous drug like alcohol is socially acceptable while Marijuana with little to no danger is not only looked down upon but illegal!!! (sorry got me going!)
  15. I think that you have to realize that until you understand and like yourself, no girl will. Your attitude alone is a huge turn off, I mean, yeah can I join you in the dark corner of your room on Christmas? As if. Appreciate the fact that you have family, and they would probably LOVE for you to talk to them about anything. Christmas is about celebrating what we do have. Its a wonderful thing to have someone who loves you and wants to share life with you. So make a life that someone would want to share with you. Start becoming that man you see with the love of your life. Start doing those things that you want to do with her. Realize that it is your responsibility to make you happy, not your families, not your dreamgirls, and it will not be the responsibility of your girlfriend or wife. If you cannot be happy by yourself, you will not be able to be truly happy in a relationship. I know this isn't very nice. But you've got a bad attitude, and that never helped anybody.
  16. I dont think its weird at all. My boyfriend is Mexican and Im a lil blonde girl. Ive never even really thought about it, noone's ever said anything. BUT I like to think that I choose friends who aren't racist.
  17. I would reply with: "Hey! Mine are real! I just give them a nudge in the right direction! Its like wearing black pants, or makeup... accentuating!" you gotta accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative
  18. I think that is a great way to explain getting over a heartache. Also explains why ones later in life are usually easier to get over. Unless its on helluva big tree. Thanks for that post, its a really great thought.
  19. I think that you should talk to her about it. If you want your relationship to last then you have to learn to communicate. What is bothering her is most likely very insignificant. You are most likely doing more damage from your reaction and not talking about her being distant. Just talk about it, find out whats bothering her. Let her know that you love and support her, even the stuff thats not "right". Good luck!
  20. Hi all! I am in a great live-in relationship with my boyfriend, RJ. I care for RJ alot, we get along great, we have great communication, everything I ever wanted out of relationship. We have been together about a year. Before I met RJ I had a HUGE crush on a guy at work, B. B never showed me much interest, I started dating RJ and B floated to the background. Until about a month or two ago. B has begun to show interest and I still find him very physically attractive. He is flirting with me on an almost daily basis! A few weeks ago I posted about this and it was really eating me up. So I talked to RJ about it, which was not easy for either of us, but I felt like it was the best way to quell the thoughts I had been having. Also I was being testy and removed from hiding all this. RJ took it well, even though he didn't like it, I think he wishes I wouldn't have told him. I was also afraid that keeping it hidden would lead to more lies. Talking to RJ honestly about this was a great relief and I was able to put B out of my thoughts and enjoy RJ again, for a while. OK well I still cant stop thinking about B. I dont know what to do! I want to be with RJ! But I cant stop lusting after B. I have never talked to B about any of this, and don't want to, because I feel like that will be emotionally cheating on RJ and Im afraid if we begin to talk about our feelings we may find ourselves in a questionable predicament. I just don't know what to do. I dont want to break up with RJ, and if I did, WHY? I dont even know that I want to be in a relationship with B. And I am very happy with RJ! But I keep finding myself daydreaming about kissing B, touching B, holding B... arrgghh there I go again!!! Please anybody that has any idea of what in the world to do!!!
  21. OK First off this is what you need to do. Next time you talk to her tell her you want to take her out for a nice night on the town, and ask her when her next available evening is. Even if its a week away, set the date. You dont have to tell her what you will be doing. I am very busy, and I have had guys that will ask me out 2-3 days in advance, when your really busy you usually have a full week loosely scheduled. Once you have a date set, go online to the best entertainment website in the area. Look for art shows, live music, christmas tree lights, etc. Plan a nice 3-4 hour As far as calling her I would call her once a day, 2x every few days would be fine, if you had something important to say. ALSO when you do call her, after saying hello, ask her if this is a good time. That way if she's busy she wont feel pressured to talk to you. Good luck!
  22. I do! I do! this website has diagrams and explanations of every muscle, then it tells you how to work out each muscle, it usually tells you several variations of the same exercises and one of them is always a free weight. The bulk of this info is in the weight training section. link removed Good Luck!
  23. I was at home decorating the other day while my BF was at work. I ended up getting naked and "dressing" myself in a big red velvet ribbon with a bow on the front. And waiting for him to come and open his present. Lets just say that dinner deffinately was postponed. =) That was fun, sexy and best of all CHEAP! =) Good luck!
  24. Caldus - actually I think this is a very healthy and "right" way to deal with your feelings! AND I have to say that your poem at the end I found very interesting. I understand what you are saying. I can feel it in your words, Ive felt it too. A total loss and confusion, the more you know the less you know. Yeah hey programming may not lead to the best social skills, but partying doesn't lead to a good career. I deffinately focused more on my social attributes in hs and college, now I realize that I missed alot of learning opportunities b/c I was too "cool". Social skills are very similair to programming skills, you work it until you get it. You have made programming a priority, so youre good at it. You will reap benefits from this skill! OK so you stay socially compromised for the next 10 years, keep thinking, working, going to school. 10 Years later - Dude youll be makin 6 figures! NOW the beauty is that if you have $ you don't really need muscles or social skills. It is a SKILL you have put work into, and it will pay off. Youll have a ton of women who will want to date you, and the knowledge to keep the junky ones away. Keep on working it, understanding, listening, thinking! Be real! In the moment! You learn much more from listening than from talking. Good luck! and remember, you are not alone!
  25. it means she still cares about you, that she wants you to be happy and safe. BUT that she doesn't want a serious relationship with you. For one reason or another (Im sure you have better idea of why you split up) the relationship you had was no longer satisfying each others needs. She wants you to know, that even though you may not have a significant place in her life, she wishes you well, and will think of you with fond memories. Also to make herself feel good, by leaving this on a nice foot, its ended well. That can be a good thing, or a real screwy thing, depending on the split-up circumstances. Good luck! remember you are not alone
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