MollyElise

Can I just say "ditto" to what Paisley said? I would say that my marriage really follows most of her/his? statements, other than neither of us were virgins, in fact we had both been through quite a few relationships, and I think for both of us that was necessary as we both are EXTREMELY independent and were wild children/teens/young adults. I've told my husband before, I am so glad I did not meet you before exactly when I did, b/c I would not have been ready. I have to share a mushy mush with you.... =) My hubby's Bday is 2/28, mine is 11/28 of the same year... so we say the day he was born he put in an "order" for his wife and god started cooking me up. lol I love my most wonderful man! =)

Hello! I have been best friends w/ S for about 12 years now, we haven't lived in the same city for 8 or 9 years, but talk almost daily. I love her very much, she is like my sister and the person I trust the most. I have always treated her with respect, as she has me. Most of her other friends and boyfriends though have totally walked all over her, and she lets them for a long time (years) then will finally get sick of it. Well here's the story with her right now, please read and let me know if you can offer any advice. About 2.5 years ago, S was hanging out with this girl, J and her neighbor (man), C alot. Well a couple of times after hanging out all night S and C were intimate, S ended up getting pregnant. S decided to keep the baby, C basically freaked out and MIA during most of the pregnancy. Once the baby, M, was born, a paternity test (at C's request) was performed and it was confirmed that C was the father. For the next year and a half C would come over and visit S&M (haha) 5+ times a week and would play with M and spend time with S. Got to where C&M were telling each other they loved one another, talking about getting a house, getting married, having more kids. The whole schabang. S's family was involved in all this as well as S lives with her entire family in one big house. So all the nieces knew him as uncle charlie, he was over every Sunday for dinner, came to all the family parties, xmas, easter, etc. During this time Summer fell more and more in love with C, though she never trusted him and always felt like he was seeing someone else, though he would totally deny it. Well June comes along this year and he is seriously talking about moving in together, looking at houses, discussing finances, etc. Within a week of having a converstaion like this, C discloses he was dating somebody when they first hooked up, and has continued to date her throughout the pregnancy and the past year and a half. He also informed S that he was moving in with her (N). Uhm... WHAT? So Summer is totally heartbroken. She then forgives him and tries to be friends with him. A few weeks later, she finds out from his mom that C&N are planning on going to Las Vegas the next week to get married. Of course he hadn't said anything to S and again, she's shell shocked. He goes, he gets married. He comes back and is miserable. Starts calling S more frequently (like 5+ times a day) talking about everything, including how he made a mistake and wants to be with S. So S gets all happy and excited, then after a few days notices his actions don't align with his words. Well, he just doesn't know what he wants, he's confused. So S tells him to just leave her alone. He comes back the next day, he can't. Anyways, this cycle goes on back and forth a couple more times. And we are back with him now moving out of his wives house and wanting to talk to S more. She still says she loves the guy and will be with him. She has refused to date anybody else through this whole time, and still won't, even though they've never even been on a date, never been BF&GF or even regular FBs. She just continues to sit there like his little yo-yo waiting until he wants to play, then he drops her right back off. I have tried talking sense into her, it doesn't work. She says she loves him and will make him earn his trust (yeah right, which means actually getting a house probably, then for him to run off I'm sure) but that she just can't give up on him and move on. She admits she wants him for who she thinks he could be and Ive tried getting through her thick skull that she shouldn't do that. I love this girl and she is a WONDERFUL woman, she at least deserves a man that totally loves her and that she can trust. C has shown over and over that he isn't in love with her, he loves her as a person, as the mother of his child, as someone who will put up with him; but he's not romantically in love with her. Obviously, C does not deserve to be trusted. OKAY so this is a bit of a rant. But I just don't know what to do.... I want to help her. I want her to get over this jerk, which is especially hard b/c even if she blows him off, he'll be back around for the baby. Does anyone have any similair experiences? Any advice? These are the types of relationships (both friend and romantic) that S has gotten into over and over. hmmm... I guess it's probably feeding something within her, but argh, I hate seeing her keep herself in this vicious cycle. I just want her to find a nice man who will love her and start a family. Instead she only meets people who want to play games, and she plays right along hoping to win a nice man. Thanks for reading this far! Any stories, advice, insight and thoughts will be appreciated!

Hello! I will not give you information on how to lose weight, you are actually underweight by the BMI scale. You seem to hate the natural curves that all women should have, you want all your extremeties to be straight, that is not healthy. I totally understand about wanting to not hate your body, I felt the same way (but I was obese). Before I could lose weight though I had to believe I was already normal and beautiful. Once I did, I was a much happier person regardless of what weight I was. I know this sounds weird/cheesy, but what helped me was an exercise I learned off of an old Oprah show. At least once a day (better 2 times) stand in front of a mirror and say "I am beautiful" even if you don't think so, even if something in your head is yelling "no you aren't!" just do it. Start with a small mirror and a part of your body you don't "hate" then once you start to really think that part of your body is beautiful, go to a larger mirror to view more and keep doing it until you can stand in a full length mirror, fully clothed and comfortable say "I am beautiful", this progression will take some time,but I think you will be surprised by the effects. The next step is to do it in less and less clothing until you can stand in front of a full length mirror, butt naked and say to yourself "I am beautiful" and at least partially mean it! Because the real truth is, right now, it wouldn't matter what you looked like you would think you are unattractive. This idea is only in YOUR head, and only you can change it. I mean, Im 5'3" and weigh 65kg and I honestly think I am pretty good looking, yeah I could lose to lose a bit of weight, but I still think I'm beautiful. In fact I miss some of the curves I now have when I lose weight! Everyone, say it aloud, say it proud "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"

I lost almost 100 pounds over 2 years and always had a splurge day once a week, where I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted. Unfortunately after a year of eating really healthily I couldn't eat whatever I wanted, even if I said it was "OK" b/c my body was so unused to the grease/salt/overfilled stomach that I would get really bad stomach ache. Sundays were always my splurge days and I remember many Sunday evenings almost in tears b/c my belly hurt so bad. I think once a month is too difficult for most people. If you cut your calories by 400-500 6 days a week (easily done to most diets by just making substitutions) and exercise for an hour 5 times a week, even if you totally splurge one day, you'll still be losing at least a pound a week.

Well, I can see how this is somewhat true. But it also isn't. For the first time in history, during that age period (mid-late twenties) it is okay and encouraged for a woman to be herself, to find a career, to find hobbies she likes. Always and forever before, a woman would be married and taking care of the home at that age. That is very liberating and sometimes the idea of getting in a serious relationship feels like you are stifling your possibilities. Its a great time to be single, you have your own place w/ out roomates (usually), your own car, done with going to school, often have available money to take vacations with girlfriends, go out whenever you want. Also, by that age you've had your heartbroken which makes you less likely to just jump into something. I think alot of women in my area act like they aren't interested in a serious relationship b/c thats what they think men want, they've been played so many times they've changed their game. Now, that is one side of the coin. I am on the other, two days after my 26th birthday I met JP, we were married 6 months later. Also, I don't have any girlfriends (in that age range) that are single and want to stay that way. As people get older, I think their interest in a long term partner may go down, b/c they are used to being single and only worrying about themselves. I think you should date, without worrying about how serious it is until you start to get feelings. Listen, I don't care what any woman says on a first date, if she starts to like you and you have an intimate relationship she will change her tune about long term relationships in a heart beat, women are programmed socially and biologically to "settle down".

I would say the answer to this is similair to asking the same question about many vices. Do all men drink? Do all men gamble? The answer is some, but not all, though they have probably been involved with it at some point in there lives. It really doesn't matter how "normal" it is, if it is causing you insecurities he should be able to understand that and at least keep it from being very obvious from you. At the same time, you have to understand it's not a reflection on you and asking a partner to stop looking at porn is controlling and inappropriate, it's his body; he should be able to (and will) do what he likes. Maybe the porn isn't a big deal to him and he doesn't want to hurt you so he'll be happy to let it go. Maybe he'll think you're being bossy and infringing on his personal space and either tell you a) he's going to watch it or b) placate you by telling you he will not watch it and hide it. If he did not want to stop viewing porn, could you find a way to be happy with him? **Also - I would be careful about nagging on this too much, that seems to have the opposite reaction and porn can be addicting, you wouldn't want to help him find his way to that trap.

Definitely short hair! When you're still in your teens, semi-long is okay (above the shoulders at longest). But I really find long hair totally unattractive, I think it dates you and throws you into a trashy stereotype.

This is your life, you can always choose what you want. It doesn't sound to me like you want to go work in the business/corporate world, and I don't think you would be happy if you chose that route. How do you feel about being in the science world? What type of career do you foresee yourself obtaining if you got that degree? Have you thought about trying to flip your economics major to a business major, giving you strong qualifications to move up the ladder at your current job?

You are doing the right thing by leaving. Personally I see no reason to give him the courtesy of a check-in text. I know you will need your things but you need to start thinking of how to get them and how to keep him as far away as you can. It is so easy for someone like that to manipulate you to stay, just like he has up until now. Good luck!

Ash, Thank you for your reply. I know its nothing huge, but I want to do everything I can to make sure that our marriage is long lasting and happy. I see so many people on this and other boards I frequent who were so happy with their SO, but now XXX years down the road can't stand them, I think that primarily happens when you ignore the little things, ya know? I don't want to be overly analytical about everything (and am typically not overly analytical at all) but I don't want to turn into a wife who nags and complains all the time, and I don't want him to not want to communicate with me. I never thought I would get married, mainly b/c thats what I saw all marriages become, thankfully I have been introduced to healthier relationships and do have some faith in marriage now, but know that you really have to work at it, especially the first couple of years when you are learning so much about each other and your relationship. Again, thank you for taking the time to respond; and anyone else please post anything you might think or stuff or whatever!

Hello! My husband and I eloped about 2 months ago after 6 months of dating and living together. He is a wonderful man and I love him with all my heart. We've been arguing somewhat the past few days and there are several issues that all kind of roll into one. I want to know what I can do better in our situation, as well as how I can make up for being difficult, as I was this morning. We normally go to an open mic that is a town over on Wednesday nights, my husband needed to use the car this morning (Thursday) for work which meant I would need to take public transportation. In order to make it to work on time for public transport I have to get up almost an hour earlier than normal. The negative atmosphere started, well actually it started the night before when I came home (almost 2 hours after he got home) he was sitting on the couch with my brother (who is visiting from out of town) playing video games, he usually is very affectionate, but that afternoon he didn't even say hi when I walked in or anything so that hurt my feelings (usually we'll spend at least a few minutes "connecting" with each other after work) I then went in the kitchen and it was a mess, there was stuff sitting all over the house from the night before, I said very sarcastically "well I guess Ill do the dishes and then cook since nobody else did" I do the dishes as he gets ready to leave for band practice, we sat down and talked for a bit and got in an argument about it, this is where one of the big problems for me comes in, I'm trying to talk to him and he puts up this big defensive wall, I apologize for making the sarcastic comment but that my feelings were hurt that he didn't acknowledge me when I got home, especially since he was leaving for the rest of the night in 15 minutes. His reaction was really childish, he wouldn't talk to me about it other than to say such things as, well Ill just make my own food and cook and do my own dishes and fine, I'll do the dishes every single night; I tried telling him that I don't need that, though it would've been nice if he had picked up some, I wouldn't have been upset other than his non-acknowledgement when I got home. I also told him that I was happy to come to a compromise but we needed to figure something out b/c the dishes have been piling up and getting washed once a week, when we run out of dishes! (BTW when we moved here I didn't want to move into this building b/c it didn't have a dishwasher, he told me he "love doing dishes, Ill do them as long as you cook"). Well he's just kind of ignoring me while Im saying this, and Im asking him what he's thinking, to please talk to me, what does he think would be fair. Anyways it just feels like Im talking to him and not with him and it turns into an almost child/parent role which I am not at all comfortable or happy with. During this discussion I even said "look I feel like a mom talking to her kid, I don't want that, please discuss this with me" he said that he felt like that too and too look at what I was saying, what I thought I was saying was to dialogue with me, not once did I say, you need to do the dishes or anything derogatory, I did say that my feelings were hurt and then I was annoyed that the house was such a mess; I can't say I know exactly what he thought I was trying to say but I think he thinks I was whining. Which maybe I was? But what else am I supposed to do? Just keep the fact that Im hurt and annoyed inside so he never knows? We did make up and he ended up not going to his band practice saying that he probably shouldn't since he's obviously so grumpy. On Wednesdays evenings (last night) we often go to an open mic. Well I knew I had to take public transportation b/c he needed the car on Thursday which means I have to wake up an hour early to take the metro. So I didn't go even though he really wanted me to, he went by himself instead and came home around 12:30, he said he was going to eat and be to bed soon. I went to sleep to wake up at 2:40 and he was still up, I said babe please come to bed its late and you have work in the morning, honestly, I nagged him a tiny bit (this is something that happens often and we used to fight about alot, now I try to let him be as he can take care of himself). This morning comes, I get up earlly and get ready; I wake him up to take me to the Metro station and b/c of a couple things (that honestly were primarily my fault, but not intentional) I got to the station late which would get me to work over an hour late, which due to certain meetings and other events would really be unacceptable. This is where we start to argue, he says just take the car Ill take the metro later on and I say but I thought you had to have the car for work and he says he can figure out another way. This is where I really act like a brat, he tries to go upstairs and just let me take the car but I throw a royal/martyr hissy fit and tell him to take me to the metro and Ill just go to work late. In the car, Im like, why doesn't he just drive me to work, then go on his way, Ill take the metro home (I always have problems in the morning, but the afternoons are less stressful, as Im headed home without a deadline, I also at this point whine about how much I hate taking the metro). Him saying fine, Ill never take the car again, me saying well since it obviously isn't working out for the a.m. can't we figure something else out? Some of the things he said were that if I was having a bad day, I had to make sure he had one as well, saying I was trying to punish him for going out the night before. He then went into not talking to me, until I acted sweet as sugar and apologized to him for throwing such a hissy fit and promising to not complain about the metro. I end up taking the car and he goes home to take a nap before going into work. Well that was almost 4 hours ago, I have called and text messaged him and believe he is still at home asleep, even though he should've been at work at the LATEST 2 hours ago. I want to work with my husband so badly, I know we are a really good team but we keep on falling into this hole where I am trying to discuss something with him and he takes it as me nagging him. What can I do to work on this? Thank you for your time!

Well I think that the dynamics of relationships are really changing, especially with alot of couples deciding to live together first. I kind of proposed to my now husband.... we had been dating for a little over a month and were sitting in my car and he told me, "I want to have your babies!" lol and my answer was well "you have to marry me first!" and he said, okay lets do it. From then on it would come up from time to time, one of us would ask, do you want to marry me? From time to time that question would spring into a more serious discussion where we would discuss the details of how we would like for it to be. We ended up eloping a month ago (after 6 months of dating), we both have simple white gold wedding bands that we bought with our combined income (we moved accross the country and in with each other after 3 months of dating). It's funny as it seems odd to alot of people that we chose to get married like this (and everyone kind of assumes that we did it b/c Im pregnant, which I am NOT and have had to tell some ppl multiple times) for us any other way would have been odd. I think having someone propose to you (regardless of the sex) without direct prior discussion and then expecting an immediate answer is haphazard. I love surprises, but I would be overwhelmed and unable to think clearly to make a rational decision if someone put me in this position.

An interesting twist on this is a discussion of "Free Will" we say humans have free will, but at the same time we are simply a chemical/electrical mix that must follow physical laws. Everything we feel and think is a chemical reaction, those chemicals all have predetermined roles and limits. If these roles and limits have been predefined then how much room is left for "free will"? In a basic example, your cells become dehydrated, they then send a neurological signal to the brain to release a chemical to your body, these chemicals that are released have a predetermined role that make your brain desire water. thereforeeee, typically, another chemical chain reaction occurs which leads you to water, gathers the water, and lifts it to your mouth, swallows and absorbs into your body. NOW one could choose a true path of free will and NOT drink water, but you cannot sustain life under those conditions. If you break it down to an atomic level these particles are bound by natural laws, both the actions and the limitations. SO how does that affect free will? Personally for me, I strongly believe that "everything happens for a reason", I also do not believe that we possess true free will as we are constrained by the physicallity of our being. I do believe in "Fate" as meaning that certain points in our existence are pre-determined, though our reactions are not; honestly, though I cannot find a logical way to explain this; b/c how can all reactions be free and have fate at the same time? A free willed reaction would not necessarily set the stage for the next fate written moment. Id like to think that I have more control over what happens in my life, maybe its just my ego. This is an idea I got worked up on a while back after watching 'Waking Life', if you enjoy this type of conversation, or lucid dreaming, I highly suggest it.

I have realized that a huge group of friends, does not equal good friendships. Other than my husband I have only two or three other people I consider to be my "friends" people I can call just to say hi, or call whenever anything big happens. I moved far far away from home 3.5 months ago and have yet to make a single friend! We've made lots of guy friends, but girls are alot harder to meet in a social environment. What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? We've made most of our male friends at the pool hall, my husband is an excellent pool player and gains the respect of people who he plays with, who then want to become friends. Do you play any sports? What about video games? I know alot of guys build a bond with each other while having LAN parties. I've used MySpace (browse function) to try to meet new people in the area, but haven't had much luck, though I know another girl who has built a whole social network through myspace. Craigslist is also good to post on for friends or respond to posts, there are usually lots of softball, kickball, etc teams as well as book clubs, running groups and just people headed out over the weekend. MOST OF ALL - stop comparing yourself to others, it never does any good. Do what is best for you, what makes you feel healthy, strong and proud then you'll have less chance of finding yourself totally lost in what society tells you to do.

Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I will contact a financial consular, the main problem is personal restraint. I make plenty of money to cover everything I need and alot of what I want, I just tend to overspend and then use creative accounting which has me always stressing and worrying about stuff. I don't take "No" very well, I will always try to work a way around it; which has helped me in my career and other areas of my life, but trying to find work arounds when dealing with money ends up causing more trouble. I just wish I had someone who figured it all out and said, okay, you have X to spend on food/gas/fun and that was all I had to do. Too bad my hubby is even worse at $ than I am!!

Hello! I am having to be honest with myself. I am HORRIBLE with money, my mom was horrible with money and I've never seemed to have enough. My husband and I now make totally enough money but seem to be barely making it and missing some commitments. =( I'm not a very materialistic person, but there always seems to be something else to buy. Also, we go out and spend too much money, too often. Thank goodness neither of us has credit cards, we do use debit. I wonder if going to cash only would help? We want to be able to buy a house one day and have kids, I don't want to do that with our current money managment skills. Does anyone have any tips or resources? Thank you for your time.

Chest exercises will help a huge amount. I lost alot of weight (90 lbs) and have large breasts (was an F, now a D) and have found that lifting weights that focus on the chest has made a HUGE difference. Good exercises are Push Ups Bench Presses Pectoral Flys Good luck!

ooooo cream on the labia? owww! I have had too many chemical burns on my legs from that crap. I definitely would encourage anyone new at the shaving technique to take a warm bath first and then sit on the edge of the tub. That is how I learned and now can do a quick clean up standing in the shower. I usually miss something though (shower is a little dim) so I always take a bath once a week to make sure everything gets squeaky clean. I like to be clean shaven down there, Ive got a hell of a bush and feel almost matronly when its grown out. I also feel cleaner with a smooth cooch.

High School is hard on everybody, I've always imagined it must be triple (at least) difficult for someone who is homosexual. I used to be so annoyed by the kids in school who were always saying "thats so gay" about stuff that wasn't even remotely homosexual, more as another word for stupid. Arggh. I think you will know when the right time to come out is. You said you are going to college in the fall, depending on where you go I think you will find a whole world that allows gay people to live much more comfortably and openly. There will most likely be gay clubs or groups and stuff like that. Also, it won't be such a big deal "coming out" you won't have to tell everyone in the "world" (like you would at home, b/c everyone knows everyone) and can take your time. I think you are going to find that these "friends" (for the most part) really are nothing more than time fillers, how can they be anything more, you haven't been able to be honest with them about a major part of who you are. You will not be alone your whole life, I promise you, you will find many friends in your life that will love you for you and embrace your sexuality. I can also tell you that once you find yourself involved in the gay community you will find many potential partners. Make it through this summer, college is going to be a whole new world for you.

I told my mom last night and she's very happy for me. JP talked to my dad as well and received his blessing. I have told my two best friends. I am so excited! I'm getting married tomorrow to the most wonderful man in the world! =) Yippeee! I am bursting with happiness!

I'm trying to think of things that my DF and I do that aren't too outdoorsy nor metropolitan or active, sounds like your SO doesn't have alot of energy. We have fun staying in the house playing games, both video and board - these can allow alot of room for dialogue, men especially find it easier to "open" up. My friend has this great Karaoke game her and her hubby play all the time. We like to play old school Mario Bros alot. We also love Scrabble as a fun two person game. Instead of cooking a whole dinner, some nights we have some sort of theme night, we'll just cook a whole bag of chinese dumplings and have a bottle of sake while watching anime, or make some fondue, both cheese and chocolate of course. These take less time to make, so more time for us and its fun stuff, not your normal dinner. Another option instead of just "cooking dinner", grill! That can be alot of fun and gets you moving around a little bit. You can even marinate everything the night b4 so when you get home, just go on outside and fire up the grill, pull up a chair next to your honey to watch the fire and be his helper. Comedy videos are fun to watch and are different from movies as you can have more conversation while they are going on and almost always get some good laughs in. We love watching Dave Chapelle and have several inside jokes we say all the time from watching him. Fill up your CD player with CDs you both love, turn them on and hang out for the evening. Be xtra sweet and lovey dovey. *This goes well w/ the BBQ evening. I'm not crazy about them, but alot of people love to put puzzles together. Ask him to help you make cookies in the kitchen, pretzels are fun too b/c you get to roll them out and everything. Just act goofy from time to time, pop out of the bathroom w/ your underwear on the outside of your clothes, put on swimming goggles and pretend like your house is underwater. Read a great book out loud to each other, take turns. Since you're in the country drive around in the evening and find your favorite places to star gaze. Good luck, have fun! =)

My BF uses Paxil, I have seen him come off of it before (which is where you primarily see Paxil side effects) and it was pretty bad, but really he said it wasn't much worse than he was before it. I don't like life long medicinal approach at all, but I know I could not be with him if he didn't take this med. Also, I know some SSRIs take a long time to get kick in, but Paxil usually works within a couple of hours. There might be a correlation with that and the withdrawl symptoms people have with it actually.... Don't know what it is I'm trying to say, just adding some personal experience.

I just want to add to maybe clarify the situationa little bit. Fiance and I are both VERY independent, he left home at 13 and I at 15. I am close to my mother, but we have almost more of a sisterly relationship though we love each other like mother and daughter. And to be honest, I've never really had any really significant events like the typical ones, got my period, lied to my mom for 4 months about b/c I didn't know how to tell her, I was already living somewhere else by the time I was 16, a friends parent threw my sweet 16, I never graduated from HS (b/c I had to start supporting myself), ended up getting a degree, but that was not big celebration, and I haven't finished college. I would say that the closest thing to a significant event would be the promotion that moved me up here, and we did celebrate that both as a family and with my friends. I really don't want to hurt my mom, but would not want to have a wedding at home unless I was living there... and that will be a couple of years at least. I do want to be married to my DF though.... thinking about my mom being there brings tears to my eyes, I would love it. But it seems to be more of a hassle than it is worth. Honestly, doing it this way suits the way Ive chosen to live my life up to now as well as my fiance, fiercely independently.

I would love for my mother and family to be there. Problem is they live 1,500 miles away right now and my mom is a homebody and would never travel all the way here. Also, my home state has a 3 day waiting period, so it just ends up turning into something I have to plan out and put alot of energy and money into which I do not want to do, I would rather put that towards our life together. Another thing is if I had a wedding at home, there are people I would want there, so then I feel pressured to have a dress and asking people to be bridesmaids, what to feed people.... and I know myself, I'll end up worrying and stressing over friggin napkins, I don't want to care about napkins, I want to be married to my wonderful fiance and thats it. As much as I would like for those people to be there to share in the moment, its not worth it to me. That being said, if we still lived in Tx... well I was going to say that I would not elope, but honestly I might. I think I've been damaged by being the official party planner for all the companies Ive worked at.

My fiancé and I are planning to elope this Friday. I am very excited to be married to him, he is a wonderful man and I feel very secure that we are making the right decision. The primary reason we are totally eloping instead of having at least a small ceremony is that we have recently moved accross the country far, far away from home. He has family that lives near but we both agree we would rather them not be there. We have put a lot of thought into if this is what we want to do and if it is the way we want to do it. I have mentioned to my mom that we are planning on doing this and while she is happy for us and approves of the marriage, she is very disappointed that I do not want to have a wedding. I am looking for advice regarding the "fallout". To minimize my mother's hurt, should I notify her before hand that we are doing this? I personally don't care if she knows before hand or not, but I am nervous that she will make me feel bad for this decision, a small addition to this is that both my fiance and I would like to have my stepfathers blessing beforehand. SO that's one primary issue Im trying to work through. Secondly how should I handle spreading the news on Monday? I work in an office of about 17 people, I don't want to send out a mass email, but I don't want to have a convo with each and every one of them. I suppose mention it to those that I kind of give a rats butt about and let the others hear about it? That I understand okay I guess, but I moved up here as an intercompany transfer from an office w/ 300 people, all of which I knew fairly well, at least a 100 I know very well (I worked in HR), I still work off and on with many of them from this satellite office. Should I just let it kind of be a silent thing, my email has suddenly changed? Or should I send an email to them? Ive never known anyone who has eloped before, so I appreciate any advice or stories that you can share. Does anyone have stories of their own elopement or a friend or family members? Thank you, I hope you have a great day!