Clementine orange

I've had problem with this. Most of the women I've been in relationships have wanted to spend more time with me than I want to spend with them and it has gotten annoying and has even led to a breakup. I like to be with a woman who has her own hobbies - not the hobby of just following me around everywhere. There has to be some kind of balance.

Well I'm going to wade in on this and bring famed singer Tom Waits with me: Introduction to "Train Song" [from Big Time] Apparently Tom Waits always gets asked this question: "Tom, uh, is it possible for a woman to get pregnant without intercourse?" To answer, Tom tells us a story, going all the back to the Civil War. As he hammers sour chords on his piano, he describes an incident in which a stray bullet pierced through a Union soldier's testicle and then got lodged into the ovaries of a nearby girl. Our narrator tells us that the baby was later born and everybody was fine, and "guilt-free," but the solider was a "little pissed off."

Lucky all you people - I give off a "ask me for money and/or try to get me to join your weird cult/political party" vibe. Sometimes I get "please sit too close to me on the metro and smell" vibe as well. Seriously though, sometimes I'm on fire and sometimes I manage to put out other's fires. Seems to be no rhyme or reason so I've stopped thinking about it and just stumble around all the time.

Yeah, that's the irony isn't it - when it rains, it pours. I find one gets alot more attention when one attached (or involved, or busy or whatever) or not looking, probably because one is more relaxed and "carefree". I've heard something about phermons playing a role too.

Gently....and bring flowers

I get "interesting" alot more than I get "handsome" so maybe that's what I'm used to. Beside, interesting gets better over time whereas people get bored with "handsome". Just a thought.

Open ended questions are good. I don't know about the "gorgeous" part though - might be too much. Some women don't like to be judged on their looks. I would use "interesting" or not comment on looks at all. I'm guessing she has a pic. I mean obviously you find her attractive to you otherwise you wouldn't be contacting her. You need a woman's opinion here though

Good point!

ouch that hurts. I got dumped once during final exam week. Wow, did my GPA ever take a beating.

Woah does this ever sound like a bad idea. A recipie for disaster even.

Suggest the three of you go for a drink together, bring someone for him. He is hitting on her and biding his time for when/if you two break up. This is all too common. She enjoys the attention (and why not). Maybe you need to warn this guy off.

Well. like I said, it didn't really work for me. However, I was looking for a different age group (30s). If you have a good personality then, yeah, be yourself. If not then you'd better fake it. I would be assertive and decisive but not aggresive. Don't be afraid to be rejected. People are subscribe to online dating so they can meet others. They are (presumably) single and looking. You might have to swallow some pride though - I sure had to. All in all, I was unimpressed, however the different age group might have something to do about it.

Check out this thread that I started a few months ago

If you like her/interested then ask her out within 2 or 3 contacts. Try just a "coffee" date or something light weight first off. Women will probably not contact you - it's a sellers market so .... These women are inundated with offers so you have to kind of make yourself stand out.

Well, the on line thing never really worked for me. I generally get the impression that there are alot more men on there than women. One has to be super aggresive and that's not really my style. I'm good with the small talk etc (though I feel like such a phony while doing it) but I really depend on being able to read peoples body language while talking and you can't do that online. The few women I met from on line service were not really what I was looking for. They also didn't match their online description at all (personality and phsycial description) and ironically didn't seem the least bit contrite about it. Very disappointing for me. A friend of mine had very good sucess, but perhaps his standards are lower than mine....

Unfortunately, I can agree with much of what has been said in this thread - genders reversed of course. Is this a sign of the times? One poster said "the law of diminishing returns" and that is exactly right. I see this horrible re-occurring pattern and I'm just tired of it. I still have hope but you know, sometimes I'd rather just read a good book or go hiking or something. It's the baggage, the issues, the games, the comptetition - it's just become a chore instead of fun. Maybe we all just need a break from all this junk, personally I'm gonna go get one of those excellent ginger spice lattes from Starbucks. Now that's satisifaction

Men who value their relationships do not cheat. They have no desire to. Therein lies the rub though...

If guys never hit on girls at stores or banks or whatever then there would be alot of lonely people out there! I personally have met and dated many women outside the singles bar/online dating service type places. I especially like employed women! Naturally one should never be rude or pushy about it. Where is the objectification there?

Cocaine is NOT free - it costs. And it can cost you everything.

You shouldn't feel guilty about guys hitting on you, unless of course you lead them on. Wouldn't it be worse if no guy ever hits on you? Which would you rather have? If you are a single guy whose looking you tend to hit on everything that moves, I doubt any of these guys are losing any sleep over this From the perspective of a guy I'd like to reiterate how great it is when a women you are getting to know brings up the boyfriend in a conversation and early on. Just so I know what's going on. It's really frustrating when you invest a bunch of time and charm only to find out she's not interested in that side of things. I don't think you should wear a fake ring or photos and whatnot. Just use that b/f line whenever you are sure someone is getting too interested. Careful you don't mistake mere friendliness or whatever for "hitting on", just because some guy asks how you are etc doesn't mean he is interested. I've run into the "my b/f went skiing last weekend" (or equilivent) type of line (telling me her status) before when I wasn't interested and I sometimes thought "jeez, you arrogant b*****, I was just being nice and friendly, I'm not trying to take you home". I'm guessing you are a cocktail waitress or something....if so, then isn't that just part of the territory.

Get a doctor's opinion about your weight, if he/she thinks you need to do something about it then ask him/her what is the best route to go. Make a realistic plan and stick with it. If your mother is being a negative influence in your life then maybe spend less time with her and don't listen or argue with her. Try to avoid getting drawn into pointless quarrels. The expression "decide which hill you want to die on" comes to mind. Bickering only serves to suck the life out of you. I find it is dangerous to compare yourself to others as there will always be better and worse than yourself. Hang in there renessaince woman (great name by the way) and ride the waves!

Lucky you! Have fun and play safe!

Focus on the glass 1/2 full rather than 1/2 empty. It's all about the attitude. I know, easy to say, not so easy to do though. But it does work. You need to own your life. The race is long, you have just hit a low point that's all.

Join the club Blue Skittles. Except I'm a guy who can't find any "normal" women. Let me guess....you are in your 30s?

You met this person in person or you met them on-line? Big difference. In my experience with online dating is that people seem drastically different in real life than they do on line. Bit of a shock at times really. I've gone back to more "traditional" ways of meeting women.