Clementine orange

Ha, my hearts an idiot! The problem is that my head is way too practical. Too bad there isn't a third organ that can assist with tie breakers etc. Oh and that other head - the little one (you know the one I mean). He's a real selfish, irresponsible little trouble maker - I don't trust him as far as I can toss him.

Friends. Another poster said "maybe she just wants to be friends". Why didn't she make that fact plain all along? Keeping her options open perhaps?

1.) What woman doesn't want to be called beautiful? OK, maybe if it's insincere. But one can say "good night beautful" in a kind of cocky, flirty way (which I'm guessing you were going for), the girl should just laugh if off as a flirty guy thing and think "yeah I am beautiful". 2.) Coming on too strong (by dishing out the compliments too early) can scare a woman off. 3.) Women have to be careful - they are afraid of guys that might "gloam" onto them and become a nuisense. Since she is "beautiful" then no doubt this has happened before. 4.) maybe she doesn't know how to respond to "good night beautiful" - she is shy, a little awkward perhaps. I mean, what are you supposed to say back to this? 5.) Text messages are dangerous. Easily misread. you 20 somethings - how about a phone call already, then you can figure out the mood before bringing in the big guns 6.) You are reading too much into this. You texted her on tuesday and she hasn't written back yet - it's only wednesday. Maybe she is busy. Maybe she hates text messaging, maybe her dog just died, maybe she didn't get the TM, maybe she thought it was someone else 7.) Maybe she is a flirt and leads men on for attention like some other poster said. Get a few drinks, fun party, it's all about the attention for some women - (ever notice the prettier they are, the more attention they seem to need). It's a big game - guys play along. As you can see, there are too many variables here to decipher what's going on. Dont panic - it may not be over yet. Be cool. If it goes south then what have you really lost?

Thanks for the advice people. I actually have a whole new respect for what women have to put up with sometimes. It sure was eye-opening seeing it from the other side.

Things have been a little slow lately so I signed up with an on-line dating service. I paid my money, created a profile and sat back and waited for the fun. Nothing happened. I tweaked my profile and sent out a bunch of communications to some of the more interesting profiles. Nothing. No response whatsoever. More tweaking (now I've got the personality of Ghandi, physique of Anthony Kiedis and the wit of, I don't know, some super funny guy) , sent out more communications and nothing. NOTHING. Argh. This is so embarrassing (and a waste of money). So out of curiosity (and I freely admit this is kind of evil), I made up a fake profile – of a woman (based it on someone I was hoping for). Just to check out the "competition". I found a picture off the net and posted – someone cute but not a "10". Almost right away the offers came pouring in, after a few days I got so many "hits" that I closed the profile. The chat element of the site was exploding and to be honest I actually felt kind of assaulted. Some men were really rude and vulgar and direct. So I put up another profile, less inviting, more "homely", with a very plain picture. Lots of hits again – not as many as before but plenty (some of the same guys even). So what gives? Are there more men than women out there. Talk about a sellers market. Can anyone explain this? I want to add that many of the men had the stupidest, most idiotic c'mon lines ever. I mean, do these actually work ever?? What has been some other people's experiences with this? What should I do, how can I make this successful? I think I'm getting lost in the crowd here. What can I say in my profile to actually get some attention or response. Am I being too nice maybe? PS: please don't lecture me about the fake profile – I took them both down right away and I do feel mildly bad about it.

Women that talk too much but don't actually say anything Women who dont know men well enough to know that they dont think like women (ie: we are not interested in where you bought your purse) Women who play games Fashion victims (just 'cause it looks good on Paris Hilton doesn't mean it will look good on you) Women who think that just because they are attractive means that they behave anyway they want. and my personal favorite scene in a restaurant me: aren't you going to order anything? her: nah, not hungry, besides I'm watching my weight me: um OK her: that looks delicious, can we share that, I'm starving me: well why didn't you order anything? her: I wasn't hungry then me: well order it now her: nah, I'll just eat some of yours. me: (thinking) alright, this girl's gotta go, I don't care how cute she is

It always darkest before the dawn. Knowing that you can end it gives you power but actually doing it - makes you powerless. Hang in there man, you'll get through this and the day will come when you will thank your lucky stars that did. I can guarentee this. "I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." Agatha Christie

lol, yes I think men are dense - I've been told this a number of times. I've missed opportunities to be with women just because the messages they were giving out were way too subtle. Then again I have mis-read messages of friendlyness for more than what they are and gotten burned by it (and embarrassed). I've found that women play games too much. Hot and cold. Maybe that's why the male jerks of the world succeed in the romance dept so much - thick skin - the ability to laugh off rejection. Extreme self-confidence. Just my opinion really.

Get a lawyer - a mean one!

Thongs are over-rated. This habit of some women of showing them over their jean waistband is just plain stupid - not sexy at all. It looks really trashy actually. In my opinion (an enthusiastically hetro male) they are a fashion victim accessory that has long past it's due date. Very often many women lack the right kind of body shape in order to make them look good anyway (either too much "junk" or not enough) Now those "boycut" panties - those are hot. OK, pretty well anything but "granny" underwear is hot, let's face it. Oops, just re-read your posting - I guess you're looking for female opinions. Well, you got mine anyway!

You need to go in for the close - now! Hot and cold? That's because she doesn't want to do the pursueing - she wants YOU to do it. So either do it or move on.

I've never known any woman to carry anything even remotely useful in her purse. These things are a mystery to me. I heartily wish I could carry a purse instead of jamming everything into my pockets (damn society rules and expectations).

Normal, happened to a friend of mine (talk about increasing his depression - sheesh). It lasted for a few months after he went off them too. Talk to your doctor

You are going around looking for rejection and it probably shows in your body language and so on. You've got to make the best of what you've got. How about chat rooms? You could practice being friendly there. If you live in the city you could join some clubs or something - clubs where other shyish and non-aggresive people join. I'm thinking astrology or chess or something. How about some speech lessons or eleqution classes. Alexander technique could do wonders for you! The main thing is that you recognize that there is a problem and that you want to go about solving it. Take baby steps towards the goal. Oh yeah, avoid bars and so on - even the "best" of us get rejected and have women "look right through us". Believe me. On-line dating services are useless too - the ratio is like 10 to 1. The odds are totally against you! It's a freakin' jungle out there for the single guy. That and stop dwelling on the past - lots a peeps had crappy high school experiences - doesn't have to have a bearing on you as an adult. I did a bit of googling on "body dismorfic disorder". You need to get to the gym and work out! Get a personal trainer. Eat some good healthy food. IM me if you want Don't give up man - you know what you want. "Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me accross the sky."

You carried a purse for 4 blocks?? It was a test alright, I think you just failed. Girls like guys who don't put up with BS. Better luck next time.

Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me if it was some kind of "test". Girls do those things (and they think guys don't know). Then again, maybe it was just a matter of "could you hold my purse for a sec" You can never tell for sure.

OK NJRon, how on earth do you ask "Oh by the way are you activily sleeping with someone else even though we are dating". It seems to have implications and/or accusation elements there.

I think it's OK. Especially if a fairly significant amount of time has gone by since the relationship. It would be important to keep the current partner abreast of the situation and make sure there isn't any misunderstandings etc. Like try going for lunch or coffee or something - don't do anything at night and don't be late coming back. Then tell the current partner about what you talked about etc. (resist the urge to say "gee they looked really good, just like I remember") I have a very good friend who was a g/f at one time. I wouldn't want to lose that friendship for the world! There is a tiny little romantic spark still remaining between us but we are very careful and neither of us want to go down that road again - we value our friendship too much!

My rule of thumb is it's OK to date multiple people but I generally only "sleep" with one at a time. It's just easier that way - easier in that i have a clearer conscious. I think I would like to know if someone I'm dating is "sleeping" with someone else. Kind of a tough thing to ask though.

They are really comforting down at the STD clinic as well. Nothing spells "forget about your lost love and put your life into perspective" like incurable disease. Lack of self-respect also gives you something to dwell on instead as well.

Unbelieveable connection? Search high and low for this girl. These things don't come around that often. (Search your heart and mind to ensure that the connection wasn't alcohol induced first though)

Every guy does it, but not every guy thinks it's a good idea to share that fact.

Welcome to life man, you wouldn't believe how many others feel just like you. We just fake the smiles and all that. Make the best of the cards you've be dealt. Thats all you can do really.

Very interesting concept - why are we nice? I know that I'm usually way nicer when I'm in a good mood etc. Also in my earthly travels I have run into some people who have been extrodinarily nice without any reason to be so. People from all walks of life. So I feel as though I should "pass it on" A homeless person (or at least an extremely grubby hanger-around) once stopped me and pointed out to me that I left my laptop in the cafe. I was floored by this. I believe in what goes around, comes around but I try not to make that as a motivator. To me, the big picture dictates that it is far better (easier and less hassle) to be totally honest and nice than it is to feel guilty about it later. But then that is selfish as well - trying to avoid guilt that is. Oh yeah, the human condition - we are complicated. N'est pas? I'd be interested in what others have to say about this. What role does religion play? Are you nice because you are nice or nice because god tells you to be. Free will and all that. Isn't it better to not steal because it isn't a good thing to do than not steal because you might get caught and punished. I think the Ancient Greeks debated long and hard about this. OK, digging out my old philosophy notes here: The golden rule treat others as you want to be treated (almost every religion has some version of this idea Kant's catagorical imperitive: I should never do anything unless I can honestly say I believe everyone else should always do the same thing. OK, so enotalone people, gather up chairs, put on the coffee or pour the pints and discuss! This could go all night!