Jam7

Thanks everyone. Its not so much a case of me wanting a relationship as fast as possible for the soul purpose of saying "Im in a relationship". I want that feeling of knowing someone else cares about you as much as you do about them. Being out with friends to take my mind off it is no good because it only reminds me of what I want most. It's so hard to do everything because I literally cant focus. Of course suicide comes to mind when you begin thinking about how horrible your mental life is rather than your materialistic one. But I dont have the balls to do that. Once again thank you all. I just hope one of you can relate and understand where Im coming from.

I have only posted on here once before and although I appreciated the help I didn't quite get the response I was looking for. I have the worst luck with relationships. My longest was only a month, and recently I seem to have a tendency of falling for lesbians or girls that up and disappear. This lonely feeling is taking me over. I cant concentrate at work (I fear I may be fired soon). Driving is becoming increasingly difficult as I continue to space out. Being with friends is only a reminder of how great their relationship life is and my lack of. Cant focus enough to get into college. My life is pathetic and I feel like a complete waste of sperm. At times I have considered the possibility of me being Gay. Then I relize.."What makes me think I'll do any better with guys?". Someone help please. I dont know how you can but just some sort of a response would be enough.

Im a 18 year old college student. I have met and befriended many girls and have found out that a few of them liked me but I didn't want anything more than friendship with them. About a year ago however I met one of the most interesting girls. Usually I meet really bouncy girls who can only have a conversation that involves humor, which is good to a point. With this girl though I felt I could really talk to her. She was social but not too much, really calm and laid back and gorgeaous on top of it. I really started liking her. But I wasnt sure if i had a chance. Im not and ugly guy but I'm not great looking either. Compared to my guy friends, who from a males view are good looking, I was almost sure she would take a liking to one of them. It wouldnt have been the first time something like this happened. Anyway, I would see her frequently over the next few weeks, but slowly she began to disappear so to speak. A few months had gone by and I was beginning to lose hope. We connected but we both led different lives. But we had similar interests. I felt like a complete fool. I knew her well but not that well. We knew eachother for a toal of about 2 months give or take a few weeks. This entire past year I have been pretty much thinking of her every day. I miss her so much and no one has seen or heard from her in quite some time. I heard rumors that she got into drugs and what not. Hopefully thats not the case. Now I mainly just work, go home, listen to music and occasionaly cry myself to sleep. Even now I can feel tires brewing in my eyes. Someone please help me. I dont know what to do. I recently met a girl who I found out has a major crush on me, and as flattering as it may be, I still can't get her off my mind. I am sorry for making this so long, but I really need some advice. Please.