chemica
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Everything posted by chemica
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Why do women always pursue jerks like these? I'm sorry, but guys like the one you have described just offend me. This guy will move on the second a better arrangement with less attachment is found. Unless, you are with this guy for purely casual sex, I am stunned as to why you have not broken it off with him.
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Unfortunately for me that is video games. And unfortunately i have realized that these are a huge waste of time. And unfortunately since I have promised to never play them again I am really depressed.
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Hi awals. I grew up in kind of a dysfunctional family too. My mom would take every problem she ever had out on us and tell us she wishes she never had us. My best friend, my sister, commited suicide and it has been even tougher since then. I have only now started to realize how much my messed up family has really effected, and in many ways caused my social problems. I plan to start over in a completely new environment the day after I take my last final in college. I dont really look at it as much of running away from an old life as it is finally starting one. I wish you the best...
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Wow, this is so perversely true.
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I was on both prozac and wellbutrin, but I recently quit wellbutrin. Not long after a friend of the family died from a seizure two weeks after starting wellbutrin. The autopsy was not able to find any other cause of death. Apparently, these seizures are fairly common problem with wellbutrin (estimated 1:1000 which is quite high). I would recommend a different medication tbh. I noticed no positive effects from wellbutrin and switched. Most medications will give you problems like you stated early on, but they should wear off.
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my boyfriend's past...sigh...need some help..
chemica replied to head_heart's topic in Relationship Advice
If you had to ask him for you to find this out, there is probably a lot more that hasn't been revealed that you may not really want to know about. I would say dump. -
I agree with Superstar, there is at least someone well suited for you. You just need to look hard enough. ALSO, the kind of social trend in relationships is much more widespread than Finland. Most relationships end quickly and casual sex is a social norm in America. Not everyone is like this though, even in societies that endorse it.
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Exactly RedQueen! As you said Eto, it is all relative. Happiness is relative to sadness. People will always look for something to compare themselves to. All you will have is smarter, more attractive people, more genetically 'perfect' individuals who still hate each other and are unhappy. And I would disagree with your analysis of utopia Eto. By your logic, America is a Utopia as even though you may think it is evil, there is at least one person who has achieved an ideal position due to its social/economic structure. In order for there to be utopia it must be ideal for everyone in the system. thereforeeee I think Utopia is quite impossible.
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Self-acceptance, coffee shop culture and fitting in...
chemica replied to jimpster2005's topic in Personal Growth
Kinda feel the same way Caldus. Also going into my last year of college and didn't make any real close friends during the first 3. Hoping to put myself in a position so that I will be better at making friends when I am working. Gym, Church, and my Krav Maga training sessions are where I am usually able to meet people. -
Totally agree with this. Guys who foster this kind of double standard give all guys a bad name. This kind of crap really irritates me because I can assure you not all guys are like this. What always amazes me is that girls seem to chase after guys who are like this and ignore the good ones, and then wonder why things didn't work out. Ugghh ](*,)
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Orlander, someone as nice as you certainly doesn't need myspace to get back into dating. People often lie about their age on myspace to lock/unlock certain security features, and you don't want to get mixed up in that world. As I and everyone else has said previously, you will do fine...
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Then what exactly is your question? You are not affraid of her cheating on you and yet you have more of a past than she does. If you are still struggling with this, I honestly think you need therapy before entering a serious relationship. You seem to hold your potential gf's actions to a high standards while you have absolutely none for yourself (if you were willing to sleep with her on the second night). Oh, and sleeping with her on the second night she be much more of a red flag than her past. I think it shows this kind of behavior is not completely in her past.
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Sadly...you might actually be right about this.
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Is there point in being in a relationship?
chemica replied to skyblue1's topic in Relationship Advice
Heh, I would not use this forum as a benchmark for what a healthy relationship is. The relationship advice on this site is often like a blind man trying to describe a sunset to another blind man. Don't get me wrong, I have seen some bright people with good advice on this forum, but definitely the minority. Generally, people in successful relationships don't waste an hour a day on internet forums listening to other's problems. The truth is that this is one question others can't answer for you, or even provide very good insight. The only advice I can give you is to base your decision on whether to pursue relationships on your future goals and not your past experiences. Always learn by the mistakes of the past, but don't let them ruin your life. -
Females get hit on a lot period. The fact that they become jaded by this causes them to view them all as the same and ignore the nice guys. Orlander, I seriously wouldn't worry...you seem like a really nice guy. Plus, many guys are not in your kind of shape in their thirties and have a reason to worry. Just don't give up.
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I actually wrote a large thread on suicide and natural selection in a different forum about a ear ago. It seems insane that another person was thinking the same thing. Wrote it not long after my little sister commited suicide and I started getting depressed like her. I do think RedQueen is right though, that people who are intelligent enough to think like this are probably better off procreating than many other people. It is easier for someone like you Eto to find happiness than for someone who is happy but not bright to find intelligence.
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I feel exactly the same way. The difference is that I have never been in a relationship and it is starting to get too late. That really fuels that negative spiral and eats away at your self esteem. True, but in modern day relationships lead to marriage. I don't recall having attended an arranged marriage lately. I think most people do, not just women.
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I agree, I don't think you are a sex addict. Part of the problem might be that the more a women has sex, the higher her sex drive. The more a guy has sex, the lower it goes (both generalizations but still). The fact that you were having sex everyday before might have led to this. Talk to him about it and try to find a compromise. I think it will return in time.
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College isn't about learning, so I would agree don't go just for this. The only reason I am going is to become an engineer. You really don't learn about engineering until after you get a job. I think college has hindered my social development more than it has helped it, though in my final year things are starting to get better. I think the party environment of college is kinda immature and dumb, and paying thousands a year just to party is even dumber. If college is not blocking you from meeting the career or financial goals you have, I would say don't go full time. There are so many other great places to learn: books, link removed, internet, travelling, your own community. However, going part time may be a good option if learning is what you are really interested in. Take classes that interest you and keep your full time job.
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I don't even think jealousy is the main problem. If two people actually would go through with this, I would question if it is each other they want to marry. You haven't even gotten married yet and you already are so jaded with having sex together that you want to introduce another person. Don't get me wrong, many guys fantasize about a threesome and I don't see anything wrong with this. Acting this out, especially in an allegedly serious relationship is a bad idea. Reevaluate why he is asking this and whether marriage is even the right idea. Either he is using this as an excuse to be with another guy, or this is leading up to a threesome with another women.
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Yea, it was slightly depressing watching my 22 year old step sister get married. I have officially reached the 'oh crap' age of being single.
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The above statement is true. I once read a stat that said every 30 minutes, an American teenager is giving birth to her third child.
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Wow, you got yourself into one crappy situation and this is how you seem to view it. How can you possibly believe that someone who is basically turning his back on his wife and kids is going to show any more commitment to you. Everyone here is right...this guy is complete sleeze. The insults aimed at this guy in this thread don't even begin to describe just how bad a person he is. But this entire thread has been about him. Hon, this guy is not going to take responsibilty for what he did. It is unfair, but it is true. If you bring this out in the open, the worst that might happen is his wife divorces him. I can't see any court finding him financially liable as I don't think there is any way that he can be forced to take a test to see if he is the parent. The more time you spend obsessing over how this guy burned you, the more your judgement will be clouded on what the right course of action is. You are very honorable for walking out of that clinic. I hope it is in your heart to raise this child alone, though I wish you the best in whatever choice you make.
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I really have no idea what qualifies as a 'sex addict'. In any event, this guy was unforgiveable for cheating on you even once...You deserve MUCH better.
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Cool, your vegan too. I have been vegetarian for almost 10 years now without any breaks. Went vegan for two years and am trying to go back currently. I think it is good to have goals that require self discipline. I really do think it molds you into a better person, regardless of what others might say. I recently made a list like this for myself and am refining it currently.