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caliboy

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  1. caliboy
    everyone on here (including myself) talks about how their gf/bf broke up with them, is sleeping with someone else, etc. so does anyone ever get back together with their ex? if so, what happened. if not, what happened?
  2. caliboy
    i dated a girl who's manipulative for a year and half. just get away from her. i'm pretty sure there are girls out there who aren't like that, but it sounds like the girl you're with now and who you've been with in the past are nothing but problems.
  3. caliboy
    so here's an update. probably the last one i'll ever make. i talked to my ex today and she told me that she has feelings for someone else, has slept with him, etc. it didn't really bother me as much as i thought to hear it, but i suppose that's cause i've been assuming it all along preparing myself. it sucks to think that the last time i saw her she didn't want to sleep with me cause she wanted to take things slow and not give me the wrong idea, yet here she is with someone else. when her and i spoke today, she told me to move on like she has. i went into the fact that i'm angry that she never fully tried to try and work things out. she always gets angry and "has to go" at this point, so there's really never any point in even bringing it up in the first place. in fact, there really isnt even any point in talking to her ever again. her birthday is july 4th, so i'll call her to say happy birthday, but after that it's time for me to fully move on. for all the people in my shoes, when someone wants to break up, I'd say it means it's over and that's that. what i learned is to tell the person how you feel about the person and the relationship maybe in one short letter and that's it. then don't talk to them. and i mean don't call, write, email, instant message or anything. just move on. it's much easier said then done, but if you can do it it'll save you a lot of time from dwelling on her. and another thing... for all you people who think you "know" someone and that they wouldn't do that to you, well it can happen. i thought i knew her so well and that we were meant to be and on our way to spending our lives together (she felt this way too and told me even), but people's feelings can change and can change for good no matter who they are. life sure sucks sometimes. i wish there was some way to be happy right now. even though i'm surrounded by friends and family my life feels so worthless and alone. i cry still (even after 7 months) and I haven't been able to fully move on.
  4. caliboy
    i don't believe is her stringing me along...i know her or thought i did and really don't think she is like this i use to think like you, but people can change on you like you wouldn't believe. "she would never do that." hahaha... but she can.
  5. caliboy
    hehehe... i was with a chick like that for almost two years. don't even talk to her. stay away from her and save yourself from the pain later on. she's nothing but trouble. if her close friends are telling you this, then there's something not right about her. don't be her guinea pig/next victim.
  6. caliboy
    hey don't feel bad about sending her the post-breakup emails. i did waaaaay more then that with my ex, but i don't think in the end it really matters. they understand we're hurt, so there's gonna be some heartache. more for some then others (like myself). she'll remember you as the person you were throughout your relationship. the begging and post-breakup drama is a normal reaction. if anything, it shows her that you truly did care about the relationship. just don't talk to her for awhile, and see what happens. not only that, but after awhile of not communicating with her, you'll naturally let go, move on and be yourself again. and you'll be happy again. i know this is hard to believe, but it's true. i haven't talked to my ex in about 2 weeks now, and i already feel myself coming out of this depression. if she contacts you, then that's great - she obviously still cares for you. if not, then you'll know it wasn't meant to be and you can use that as your final way of getting over her. i feel your pain, cause i'm going through the same exact thing. hang in there and keep posting, cause it helps. try and meet a new girl, even as just a good friend. i've found this helps.
  7. caliboy
    kddmsu nailed it. Move on and don't ever talk to her again. This is the best advice anyone can give you. When she says she doesn't know if it's over permanently means that it is. Don't let her tell you these things, so that you can get off the phone and then think about it and be sad. I've been there before, I've heard the same thing and it's all just her way of being polite. "We will talk again, I know we will" - is just B.S. Move on and don't look back. The sooner you stop talking to her, the sooner you'll move on and meet someone else. And that's the real trick to getting over someone - meet someone else, cause there're definetely much better girls out there. Remember that feeling you got when you and your ex first met and got close? You can go have that again with someone else, but next time, the girl you share this with won't hurt you like this. Now that you've been through this break up and heartache, you'll be much more experienced and prepared for your next relationship. You'll know what to do, you'll know how to make it work and most importantly, you'll be able to avoid this type of pain again.
  8. caliboy
    Mermayd43 asked why he doesn't appreciate everything you do for him...and that's a good question. Maybe because he doesn't respect you, and you don't respect yourself. I just wanted to say something about this. I think the fact that you dance at a strip club shows that you don't respect yourself which will only lead him to not respect you either. There're plenty of other ways to make money. If you do something that shows you're more then just a pair of tits, he'll (and probably a lot of other people) will respect you more and treat you better. Oh and don't play the "get your male porn to make him jealous" game, cause games are annoying and will just lead to more problems. Just be blunt with him. Tell him what your problems are with him and the relationship. If he truly cares about you and the relationship, he'll listen and make an effort to fix things. But the fact that he makes you pay for everything is pathetic. If anything, he should be making money to support you - maybe so you can get a more respectful job. I don't know how much his heart is into it.
  9. caliboy
    Give it a few weeks and she'll call you. Maybe by then, she'll realize what a mistake she made then the ball is in your court if you still want her back. is 3 weeks a good amount of time to wait? if she doesn't call, do you call her? it seems that if she doesn't call, then obviously she's not interested in getting back together?
  10. caliboy
    my ex told me the same thing - she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now with anyone (including me). she's the same age as your ex and still very immature with the way she handles things in her life and the way she treats other people. i know it really sucks to have to be the guy who she does this to. especially when the two of you were so happy. i guess it's something people go through. she needs time to herself to go out with friends, find herself, date guys and just grow up. it sucks that we have to be on the other end of this, but at the same time i can understand what she's going through. i broke up with an ex-girlfriend when I was 18 cause i felt i needed to be on my own, find myself, etc. but after awhile i realized how much i missed her and we got back together. we did eventually break up for other reasons a couple years later, but that's besides the point. i dont want to hold my ex back from anything, especially living life. if we were to ever get back together (and/or you with your ex), you'd want her to have gotten everything out of her system so she doesn't feel the need to do it again. all we can do is support them and be understanding, all the while not putting any pressure on them and be ourselves. the whole talking to her still after the break up can't happen. and when she says she's 100% sure you two'll get back together, she's just stringing you along. i find it too difficult to just be friends with my ex when i still love her so much. if you two are to ever get back together, you and her are both going to have to distance each other so you can both move on, be yourselfs again, forgive each other so that all anger and bitterness is out of the way, and then maybe one day talk and try again. and if it works out then it was probably meant to be. just go back to being yourself and focusing on yourself. don't wait for her, cause you'll waste your life on something that isn't for sure. dont worry about letting her go and not waiting for her, cause it's not like you could never fall back in love again. the way i see it is if she truly cares about you she'll come back to you. if she doesn't then her loss, she's not worth your time and there are way better girls out there. it's a harsh way to go about things, but it's the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. life's too short to dwell on things.
  11. caliboy
    my ex did the same thing to me. in fact, most girls do this. but i'll tell you what i've learned. *** her. obviously she doesn't respect you or else she wouldn't be doing this. don't call her or contact her. its fine that you've "whined" or whatever - it's natural, cause you still care about her a lot. i did it too with my ex. but you don't want a girl who'll treat you like this. if she's "young and want to date other people" then let her. just dont talk to her cause you'll feel like shit afterwards, cause she WONT come running back to you. remember... you want a girl who's loyal and truly cares about you. not someone who's gonna do this to you.
  12. caliboy
    this is funny... haven't talked to my ex in a week, but the last time we talked she asked me what I'd think about her working at a strip club. not as a stripper, but as a drink server cause they make good money. i said she'd have guys undressing her with their eyes and some might grab at her. she said ya if they do, the big bad bouncer will do something. she said she can make $100/night from tips. i told her she can do whatever she wants, but that i'm kinda over going to strip clubs. if a bunch of my guy friends wanted to go to a strip club i guess i'd go. i also said that i think that whole scene is degrading to women. i guess after truly loving someone, my outlook on that scene's changed. so it's great to think that my ex wants to now be a part of that scene (sarcasm). its funny how you can be so close to someone and know them so well, and then they change into someone you never thought they'd be. i'm going to go throw up right now. brb. what was odd was that i told her i know she's only trying to "test me" with seeing how i'd react to her considering working there. she then agreed that that's what she was doing, but i dunno. she could be serious. she knows someone who's a stripper, who's probably glorifying the business to her. my ex likes to play mind games so I don't know what to believe from her anymore. one of my friends asked me a couple weeks ago what was up with my ex always doing the splits in front of people when her and i were together. i told him she use to be on a dance team and that's what that's about, but now after this whole her wanting to work at a strip club thing, im kinda seeing that she's not as classy as I once thought. whats up with this? sometimes i get the feeling she's trying to test my security, but the truth is, i'm attracted to secure confident girls who DONT need to show it off. the girls who work at strip clubs or whatever are fun to look at, but i could never take them seriously. how do i respond to my ex (or any girl) who asks me about that kind of stuff?
  13. caliboy
    she needs space. she's with another guy right now, but it could be for the attention or whatever else, who knows. just give her space and if she calls, then you'll know she still cares. that's all there is to it. it sucks right now having to wait, but it's what you have to do. the more time that passes and you don't talk to her, the easier it will get. trust me. there's a big difference between not talking to her for 3 days and not talking to her for 7 days. probably even more so for 7 days and 3 weeks. be strong
  14. caliboy
    i went through the same thing with my ex. we saw each other, kissed, flirted, even got a room together at a hotel (cuddled and stuff, no fooling around) - it was awesome (but painful cause i wanted her). she told me she wants to take things slow. thats what your ex is doing too. dont push her and just go at her pace. if its gonna happen, it'll be because you two'll slip back into it and not rush it.
  15. caliboy
    is it a matter of not wanting to have sex with him or anyone? do you have urges to be with anyone else or are you intimate with anyone else? cause if so, then maybe you're just not attracted to him anymore. if not, then maybe you don't want to be intimate with anyone?
  16. caliboy
    dont talk to her. in fact, dont ever talk to her again. the whole "maybe we'll get back together after summer" is bullsh1t. don't let her *** with u man. if she's not interested, then neither are u. find a girl who'll respect u.
  17. caliboy
    he knows you care about him, but you just have to back off. i personally think that if a guy breaks up with a girl, then the 2 of them dont talk for awhile, the guy will end up missing her and want to be with her again. when a girl breaks things off, and the two dont talk for awhile, i don't think the girl will come back. i might be wrong about this, but i dunno. so just give him space. dont call him at all (i know how difficult this is). he probably just wants some space. wants to be single again. might even be interested in someone else at the moment. just back off and let time tell. if it's meant to be it'll happen. just out of curiosity though, how old are you two?
  18. caliboy
    bryan, the chick's got issues. i know you don't wanna hear that, but from what you've written in your posts that's an honest observation. she's treating you like shit when all you ever did was treat her good. what you MUST do is to never talk to her again. if she calls you, tell her she blew it. cause if you ever get back together with her, she'll do it to you all over again. there're MUCH better girls out there.
  19. caliboy
    I think you're much better now at it'll only get better. Cause if you do start to feel down again, just think about how you're feeling now and what made you feel the way you do now. You'll be unstopable. Oh and I like Linkin Park - pissed off music with messages I'm sure a lot of us could relate to.
  20. caliboy
    If you two cared about each other enough, religion wouldn't stand in the way of you two being together. I know religion is important and all, but if you truly love someone you wouldn't let ANYTHING get in the way of that. Maybe the fact that religion (or whatever else) is preventing you two from being together is a sign. As far as being mean, who do you hang out with? I've noticed that when I hang out with pissed off haters, that it can kinda rub off on me. So hang out with happier fun people and see if that helps.
  21. caliboy
    I think it can be repaired. I know what you're saying about not being clingy before, but being clingy now cause I did it too. all you can do now is BACK OFF FOM HER. Cause the more you act the way you've been acting the longer she'll continue to look at you that way. Change your way - go back to who you were when you first met her. The non-clingy you. Will she conintue to look at you as clingy for the next 5 months? I doubt it, cause she knows who you really are (who you were when she met you), and once you start acting like that again and put this clinginess in the past, the more she'll respect you and see you for who you really are again. Although I can't promise this, cause I'm in the same boat as you right now, but it seems to me that if she truly cares about you she'll come back to you, but ONLY after you become yourself again. I'm stuck right now wanting to call my ex and elaborate on things I should've told her the last time her and I talked. I told her to grow up/figure things out and then call me (told her I wasn't going to call her), but since then I keep thinking about more I should've told her. Like as to why she should grow up; the things I notice about her that just aren't right, etc. Basically being totally blunt about what's bugging me about her. I can tell she needs/wants someone to tell her this stuff, but I don't know if I should, especially right now. But in my heart I know I should, cause I truly care about her. Do I call her? Even after I said I wasn't going to?
  22. caliboy
    I'm going through the same thing you are, but to a lesser extent (not married and weren't together as long). My ex does the same types of things though, really sweet and basically acts like your girl one moment, and then is cold at other times. This is her being confused. She still loves you, but just needs space and time to breathe and think. I played the back and forth game for 5 months and there has been no change. What it comes down to is that it's not right to play these games. She's trying to have the lovey doveyness and security you give her, but without the responsibility. You want to be with her this way too, but you also want the whole thing which she doesn't. I've realized that it's not possible to have the "girlfriend/boyfriend" side of a relationship and then go to being just "friends" the next day. After 5 months of back and forth heartache, I finally had to tell my ex that it's not right what she's doing. She does the "girlfriend" things (I love yous, baby talk, sweet dreams, kissing, cuddling, etc), but then tells me she just wants to be friends and that she's confused. It's not right for it to be this way. It really has to be one way or the other, cause if not one or both of you are going to continue to have to endure this heartache. I told my ex that I know what I want and that she doesn't (she agrees). I then told her that I want a girl who knows what she wants (fair of me to say and want). I told her to grow up and figure herself out and once she's done that she can call me (bold, but it's something that has to be said, cause if I didn't say it, she'd continue stringing me along). I told her I love her and that I'll think about her as always, but that I can't call her anymore or else we'll just be continuing this vicious circle. It was tough to do, but it got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. Now I'm sitting here waiting for her to call (if she ever does), but I WILL NOT CALL HER. If she doesn't call me, then maybe I'll gie her a call in a few weeks just to say hi and that's it. It's honestly the only way you'll know once and for all, with no more games, if she's seriously interested in pursuing an actual relationship. You can't waste your time (and heart) and hers on this. Nobody should. I understand you have a kid with her, so obviously you take interest in that, but keep it completely separate from your ex.
  23. caliboy
    damn bro, you're doing exactly what I did, and I'm telling you STOP... Until now i've tried everything in my power, sending nice emails, stating my case etc... Stop doing these things, cause it's only worsening your case. No matter how much you think it's helping, it's NOT. Stop all contact. Nothing seems to help, she always told me that she loved me for the selfsuficient guy that i was. Maybe she is waiting for me this piss-off for a month or two. She did love you for the selfsufficient guy you were. That's EXACTLY it. Right now you seem needy, and like you can't be happy without her. How horrible is that for her to have to go through. She wants a guy (like all girls do), who can take care of themselves and don't need a girl to keep them breathing. This makes us attractive to them. I think that each time i contact her that i appear needy, would my chances be better when i cut the communication for this period ? Yes, I guarantee it. At this stage, you need to do the OPPOSITE of what you want to do, cause nothing you've been doing has been working, right? anywy i think that me being needy and NOT selfsuffient has changed a lot, so how to show it to her and how to regain her love again ? if you're still contacting her, then you haven't changed, and she definetely sees this. To show her - stop communicating with her. When she calls you, act aloof and busy. DON'T bring up the topic of you two and a relationship. It may be difficult to do this, so even pretend. Do you guys know if you Loved somebody at a point and she loved you, if that love can grow again ? What's so incredibly funny and weird about this, is that you're asking ALL the same exact questions I was asking, and you're doing all the things I was doing. As soon as you back off, SHE'LL start to wonder what's up with you. 'Why hasn't he called?' 'What's he been up to?' And she'll call you. The more you pursue her, the further she'll distance herself. As soon as you stop pursuing, she'll lessen the distance and come to you. It's odd, but it's how humans work. Three days ago I told my ex that I was tired of her wishy washy attitude and that I wasn't going to call her anymore. I told her to figure herself out and then call me. This is what you have to do man. Do it now, TRUST ME. I wish I did it 5 months ago. It'll be difficult, but you'll look strong and more self-sufficient by doing so. Then don't contact her and wait for her to contact you. This part's tough - it's what I'm going through right now, but in the end, if she truly cares about you, she'll come back. Read my first quote below. As far as your last question... I still don't know. This is the stage I'm at now. I think the real answer is that it's different for everyone. You have to just back off completely from her and let time tell. I'll let you know if there's any update with my situation and you do the same. So far it's been 3 days we haven't talked (I talked to her last on Sunday).
  24. caliboy
    I agree with the idea of her being superficial. She's even told me that her friends think she's stuck up. I care about her a lot, and when we were together, she was much more down to earth. So how do you tell someone you care about that they're superficial/conceited without hurting their feelings? I'm normally blunt with people about things (especially who I'm close to) , but she's my ex and we're trying and working things out, so I have to walk on glass right now.
  25. caliboy
    You don't want a girl who's all into looks. Girls who're keepers are attracted to guys who're smart, witty, funny and clever. In general, the girls who're too much into looks are superficial an immature, so you don't want to deal with them.
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