Bunyelmer

1 of my problems is next to being shy and ugly, is that i hardly ever meet girls, where can i find them how can i find them, when ? with or alone ? How can i get to know a/the girl ? There aren't a lot girls in my place

If i just only see a girl ( looking good or ugly ) i directly am shy and turn my head to a different direction then i am to afraid to have a look at the girl again, but at the other way i still want to know how she looks. Mostly i met girls and i think : wow not bad and a day l8er i notice she already has a bf. Not to long ago 2 girls i know over the internet and online gaming came to my place and my friend. and 2 other boys came we where with 8 ppl the photo's are at my site. I fell in love on both of the girls, They where called Ri and li ( i hope they are not on this forum ) anyway I was mroe in love on Ri because i knew her better and my friend told me he wanted to have Li, and one of the boys who also came told me that Ri should have a relation with me and Li a relation with my friend. I really hoped for that and so much for my friend to. At the first night the 2 girls sleeped at my house, when the others left, they almost didnt say a single word and directly wanted to go to bed. We went asleep and nothing happened, the next day they directly wanted to leave and went to my friends house. But also my friend wasnt lucky this time, i accepted that my dream was only a dream again, but i hoped for my friend to get Li, on the internet i was told The girls got an relation with the 2 boys who also came. Ofcource i was after all happy for those 2 boys but i really did cry a long time because of it, i was myself i did try to make a little talk and to be nice, but the whole real-life meeting there was no signal one of the girls liked me for the inside or for the look. They never asked me something or started to talk with me, i tryed no matter how shy i was i just asked normal things to show some intrests. But before they even came i gave myself a chanche of 0 % anyway i still tried as u see. Talking to them and asking normal things was to hard for me already, i was shaking with my legs when i just asked : Do you need a drink ? And it took me a long time to get rid of the feelings and finally ask it, they rejected the offer trough. this counts for my friend to. Where is the best place for me to find some girls ? how can i be nice, myself, not afraid and still not directly let them know i want something with them. On the internet one of the boys told me Ri knew i fell in love with her. I said imposable i hardly ever looked at her, only when i asked or talked to her ( and that happened 2 or 3 times ) and thats social. Also he told me that Ri would reject my offer if i would ask her. Just to get to it : How or where should i search for the girls how can i find them, and how can i get them ? if i am really that cute, then zoom in at my face. Ow you should see me irl -_-. Not long ago a couple of girls i know from my place came on my door ( 8-10 year aged girls ) i am aged 16 A girl ( about age 15 which i dont like not inside and not the look ) asked me : do you like that girl ? ( i use that girl to make it easy ) She was 12 years old but looks good trough, i dont know her good enough from the inside because before that day i never got signals se liked me. Anyway i thought they where playing a game and i didnt beleave them also if i would like an 12 year old girl and i am 16 myself how would all the other ppl who live here think about that ? the 15 year old girl went away and l8er came back with the message : now she cries. I didnt beleave it and l8er she came herself laughing, and saying it was a game and she didnt want me. And yes it was a game l8er they went to my friends door and did the same ( with a other girl trough ). I dont know what the real truth is but i know 1 thing i actualy like that 12 years old girl and i dont care about the age myself, but what if i would have sayed yes to that 15 years old girl that i liked that 12 years old girl and she did tell me it was a game then i would have lost my whole reputation here, if it wasnt a game and i would have a relation with her then my friends would think bad of me because there is an 4 year diference if i would brake up with her there would be no reputation for me This place is to good for me i dont want to take any risc to lose my reputation here this place is so important for me the athmospere is amazing i cant lose that. ( what should i have done in case something like that would happen again )

I am 16 years old link removed On the link above is the real-life photo of me then u see how ulgy i am. It is taken 7 days ago ok now i NEVER got a GF, and as i look now be fair i can never get one i am also to shy to take a risc for rejection. and i never got asked be4 I would be easly happy with almost evrey girl now i am so afraid i have to end my youth without ever having a gf, i REALLY NEED 1 i am SO UNHAPPY with my useless stuppid live, getting a gf would make me happy enough, I am so scared i will die before i ever wil get a gf. What can i do ? its hopeless isnt it ? should i suicide ?