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AntiLove_SuperStar

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Everything posted by AntiLove_SuperStar

  1. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Ohhh dear. He's a major hypocrite here - you cant have opposite-gender friends. He can. He isn't showing a lot of justice or respect here, is he? I'd say get back in touch with your male friends and rebuild your social circle. And if he reacts horribly, its the final alert that hes a JERK!
  2. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Virginity is so overrated. In any case, how can you possibly know who/what is round the corner? With all due respect, an utterly daft concept.
  3. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Weird...I'm 5ft 6.5ins and all my friends of both genders are definitely taller.
  4. AntiLove_SuperStar
    No problem, Spug. If I make one person smile a year, its worth it..?
  5. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I've tried therapy, and shrinks. Its alright, I don't make him suffer, I know its all my problem. I have no reason to think he'd cheat on me at all, I'm the one more likely to do that, in a general sense. Its mostly just feeling inferior to anyone who has a good hold on a nice moderate healthy social life. Nothing more/less.
  6. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Erm well - she is of the age of consent. She WAS a child, but she isn't now. Her mother seems a little uptight about sex..I think there may be more issues floating around than you even suspect. If your girlfriend watched home movies of YOU as a toddler, wouldn't you think she was crazy for feeling guilty about having sex with you?
  7. AntiLove_SuperStar
    "Well, I always preferred sheep anyway"
  8. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I have an IQ somewhere in the 150s, apparently. And I hate parties. I hate people. I hate the world. I feel you.
  9. AntiLove_SuperStar
    My boyfriend took me to college this morning, and is now driving to see old university friends (he graduated last year, some of them who took a gap year are still there in their final year). He's going to go to a club they used to go to pretty regularly when they were all at university together, staying at a friend's house, and driving back tomorrow. I don't have a problem with it. These are friends he's known ages, and he's been out with them several times since we got together, nothing untoward has happened, he usually (in fact, always) ends up calling me at 1am drunk and raving on about how much he loves me. However, I am currently in the midst of a depressive, paranoid episode and I am *convinced* he'll find a replacement. Perhaps not least because when I used to go out it was almost always to cheat on my then-signif other-so I know I'm paying for it now, as I know what people can do when out. Because I used to do it. Never mind that he's nothing but flawless and excellent to me. Never mind that he abhors cheating. Never mind that alcohol makes him MORE loving, not less. Oh, okay I admit it - I'm jealous. Of him - of him having a group of friends like that to go on an ordinary night out with. One way and another, I don't have that. I should have been at University myself this year but I didn't because, long story short, I screwed 1-2 years of my life up. Its a horrible reminder. Its also a reminder of how he finished his degree soon after we got together, but I have 3 years ahead, potentially, of trying to fit university AND him together. I'm so envious that he won't/doesn't have to do that. I hate being so jealous of him, but I can't help it. It reminds me of everything I don't have and can't seem to enjoy (I really WANT to be able to socialize etc but I just can't, I have serious panic attacks) basic/usual activities. Someone stop me wanting to hit something. (And its not possible for me to ever go out with these people, its 1-2 hours away and I have college. He's unemployed and frankly doesn't need to work.)
  10. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Have you showered recently?
  11. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Amazingly, I went on Hot or Not, got a low score, and it DIDN'T make me cry. Even I, Queen Of Irrationality, can see its a loada junk. Forget about it!
  12. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I have the most far out, sickest fantasies ever. Sometimes, they fuel me through difficult days! But I know, as far as possible, that my signif. other doesn't have to worry.
  13. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Well...I was getting funky with more than one person in the week before my boyfriend and I got together. I promise you, it meant nothing, and probably you can believe him when he says the same thing about his ex. As for her behaviour since then...very very tough. I have nothing/no experience there.
  14. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Well, I don't rate him as a conversationalist.. Maybe he's just shy. But he ran off...which is strange.
  15. AntiLove_SuperStar
    How are you and your boyfriend going to support yourselves financially? I'm concerned because...at no point should one person be your entire life. Such thinking can only end very badly. And leaving your family etc will leave nothing resolved. It'll eat and eat at you. I admire you for realising "I'm unhappy, so I'll change it/move". Thats fair enough. But your college...I do an A Level with ICS, and I have nothing against it, but you have to be incredibly motivated etc to do well at that kind of thing, are you sure you are currently not too bogged down with sadness that must be resolved at the moment? Who'll pay for it, as well? My course is £300...
  16. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I was told it was 7 days by medical authority! I swear theres a mass conspiracy to tell women all different kinds of things.
  17. AntiLove_SuperStar
    If you think about it, we are ultimately trapped into dating outselves anyway, kind of. Or, if you hate yourself, an abusive relationship.
  18. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I would definitely have me as at least a side order. I've searched a long time to find someone like me. Not necessarily because I hold myself up as The BEST type of human you can get, but because I have met few people who understand what the HECK I'm on about, and it'd make a nice change. I'm punctual, I don't smell, I'm (proven) intelligent, (proven) insane, decidedly not boring, not (overly) fat and don't have any criminal convictions. So I'd give it a go.
  19. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I really think its all down to the individual. My boyfriend and myself have been together 1 year 3 months. We spend 2-3 days/nights a week together, and usually talk about 1 hour a night on the phone. And text. But I think we are addicted. We don't run out of things to talk about. Just spent 3 hours talking, lying on his bed. Nothing else.
  20. AntiLove_SuperStar
    P.S I can understand why you don't enjoy parties, but ..cafes and so forth? Shops? Do you think there may be some underlying agoraphobic tendencies?
  21. AntiLove_SuperStar
    How peculiar...I for one do understand you. I am slightly more ungracious and difficult than you - I seem to have opportunities for friends, but even though I get lonely sometimes, I ultimately prefer to be alone. I don't know why, as such. I like feeling detached, like I can't hurt anyone and screw anyone up, as I used to when I was younger..ah, I'm rambling, will now return to the point. You do indeed seem like an intelligent, pleasant soul, so perhaps, unwittingly, your communication skills need sharpening. Web designing is valuable but doesn't tell you much about human nature, I'd guess. So you need to get into contact with more people, I think voluntary work or a society of some kind could provide a good starting point- folks all united for one purpose and all that?
  22. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Good Lord....I didn't like this thread. I probed further, and figured it was because its horribly relevant to me, and can't the truth be painful? If I Didn't Need Or Have A Partner: I would definitely produce more art I would feel much less of a mess I would feel less of an inconvenience I'd miss sex, but after a few weeks probably wouldn't I'd thoroughly enjoy being even less responsible than I do now I would travel
  23. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I do have a neurologist, yes. Probably should go back..yet again! Thank you all.
  24. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Because your self esteem was / is so low felt you didn't deserve better. I hope it improves!
  25. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Helloa. I had 2 seizures from July-November last year, of the full-out variety, and after an EEG (sp?) and an MRI was pronounced epileptic. I also had another seizure when I was 14. I'm not on any medication. I also have a comprehensive history of depression, bipolar disorder and severe Depersonalization. Yesterday evening I was writing an essay on the laptop and reading a messageboard. Suddenly, I felt hot and "weird" and then experienced a minute or so, not just a moment, of deja vu. I "knew" exactly the words I would read and type, I tried to break away from it by turning my head towards the TV show my mother had on, but guess what, I "knew" all that too. I don't like deja vu anyway, even though i get it at least 2/3 times a week, but those are just moments...3 seconds maximum. This was around a minute in length, and I felt tired afterwards. A combination of seziure, panic attack and tiredness? Today I am so scared I'll get this kind of thing more often. Why do I have CONSTANT battles against my mind/brain? I have not had ONE neurotypical day for ..years. Everyday it seems something is wrong, strange, whatever. Obviously, I have a small background dread of having another typical seizure (especially if I'm on my own - I become completely unconscious then disorientated, and can't walk for half an hour and now this - I was conscious but it was H E L L. I now dread this prolonged deja vu as well, it was horrible, horrible, I'm so unhappy about it.
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