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AntiLove_SuperStar

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  1. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I cannot quite remember where I read it this week, but. Someone or other (it must have been a Review Section) has written a new book on happiness and pursuit of it. His main claim is that we are now bought up to expect it, and to overlook the fact that most people never really attain true happiness - like perfect pitch, it is a gift that only a few experience. Interesting take.
  2. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I simply want to warn you that whatever diagnosis she may or may not get, being with someone like this is very, very, VERY difficult. I know. I am very much one cast from the same mold as your girlfriend.
  3. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Well, I still disagree. Maybe I have a rather different morality and idea of love to most people - I cannot agree.
  4. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Just dump the mofo, already.
  5. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Relationships, sex. Whatever. Been there, done that, am often jaded..and I'm only 18. I'm not sure if your position is really so bad. The above don't really make you happy..but here's the problem - you have to have done it before you'll believe me!
  6. AntiLove_SuperStar
    To be honest, if you break up over this it may be for the best - beacuse you really shouldnt be having rather daft arguments at this early stage! I say - do nothing for now. You've contacted him, you apologised. The ball is in his court, but I don't have a whole lot of faith you two can be reconciled.
  7. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Ahhh...poetry. The one I love and think of All day and every night Its you my dear and you alone That sets my heart alight Your soft mouth begs for Kissing, its really so divine Would you do me the honour Of being my Valentine? I couldn't resist..sorry. But I DO concur with the point Parsley made about fantasy, which can seem a little bit heavy.
  8. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I'm not sure tears are a very good guide - its probably more important to regularly assess how you are both acting in a relationship? I'm off on a tangent here, but if I wanted someone back I'd take the simple approach - max three lines, in a good quality card, something like "I'd be honoured if you would talk to me - you're all I can think about and I love you". And a phone number.
  9. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Title says it all, really. I must first make it clear that NO member of my family has ever abused me, either in a sexual, physical or emotional sense. For more background - I have never really been close to my father. When I was younger, I barely ever saw him - he'd be in Japan/Europe on weeks-and-weeks-long business trips. When I was about...well, 9 or so I guess, he must have been promoted as he was around more. Yet he still worked long hours, and still does. He deserves the enviable dosh they pay him (even though I barely see any of it). We get on alright, never argue etc - we just don't talk much/don't do anything together. I don't really know what he is like. I have a vague idea, but I don't know him well. Anyhow - for the past year or so, I have regularly had dreams featuring us dating, or us having sex, or making out or whatever. In these dreams, no-one else really features. I always feel uncomfortable in these dreams; but never realise consciously in them that he is my father - it becomes VERY disarming when I awake, however, with the obvious and nasty realisation that I've had graphic dreams about..etc. As this now tends to happen about once a fortnight and gets quite surreal as well (sex in a supermarket checkout line...etc), any way I can kick the..subconscious imagery?! Not a nice topic but I really cannot imagine where else I could discuss this.
  10. AntiLove_SuperStar
    It wouldn't make me cry. It's all a matter of personal taste. Its not my taste that counts - hope she likes it, she ought to at the very least appreciate the effort. Shouldn't it be "longing" rather than "prolonging" in the last line? I admire your romantic spirit.
  11. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I have a feeling he goes on guys nights out after he sees you, faces much peer pressure to sleep with more girls.. And he doesnt have a CLUE what he wants. The poor guy..and also very inconsiderate to call you like that. I'm not saying he HAS cheated...but I think there could well be a chance. I don't think this is all he had to say to you, y'know?
  12. AntiLove_SuperStar
    What are you really ripped up about inside? What are you trying to distract yourself from by having a load of meaningless, toxic relationships? Hard to believe, but I think your current multiple-cheating is jsut a symptom.
  13. AntiLove_SuperStar
    What's better? To learn from it, never do it again, not tell them, and commit to working on the rship and saving them the pain over what was essentially a couple of seconds of physical contact?? Or telling them, causing them pain, and causing perhaps so much conflict you cant salvage the relationship anyway?? It seems c ommon sense
  14. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I can't even remember the first kiss. I don't remember the first time we had sex. Does that mean my relationship will never be memorable, then?
  15. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Sociology?! Even my lecturer admits that this particular academic disciple is a loada, well, rubbish. Yeah, I do Sociology, but mainly because it was the only subject that fitted in with my timetable, and you can do a whole A Level in a year..what does that tell you about it, eh? I DO concur that the aforementioned problems are not the only things wrong with the world. I hate to be pessismistic, but I have the feeling your realisation as to what life is truly like has begun...but has a long way yet to go. You won't die ignorant like lots of folk, but there's many more horrors yet to think of...I'm sorry
  16. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Isn't it just? Thats the great shame!
  17. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Don't tell your GF about that kiss. NOT worth it. Just learnt to keep it to yourself!
  18. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Life isn't worth anything ,at all. The point is to leanr to distract yourself.
  19. AntiLove_SuperStar
    The official college counselling team!
  20. AntiLove_SuperStar
    This is why you should ALWAYS set the score before this even becomes an issue. As soon as my BF and I became serious, I told me I had many more moral objections to porn than I could write a book about. He respected that because he loves me. And guess what...I'm enough for him! General Points- Porn isn't harmless. It isn't "natural". Porn is to sex what Macdonalds is to food, just as sick, toxic and perverted. Porn is sex stripped to crude, bear and....just, URGH basics. Fair enough if men and women are prepared to get paid to be in it. If they want to sell what should be precious to them, fair play. Their own...ignorance? No...their own good luck, they get to feel fine about something awful. Thats always enviable... But no WAY should any person, male or female, think they should just have to accept it. You don't. Men, women or children do not NEED it. It isn't a basic human right. I'm crying over this, and don't understand why people don't see it as the social disease it is.
  21. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Tried help. Last time (yesterday) they didn't even TURN UP. Jaysus. How would my Official Complaint form go - "I wanna talk about my feelings of worthlessness, and you lot couldnt even be bothered to turn up. And you wonder why you have some angry people wandering around"
  22. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Thank you for all support. I feel worthless. I feel I've failed in terms of being a friend, a decent student, a half-sane girlfriend, heck, as a HUMAN who has any capacity for laughter etc. I enjoy torturing myself. I make myself go into newsagents, gaze at topshelf magazines and making myself feel sick to be a woman, sick to be alive, whats the point of ANYTHING? I'm walking for about 2 hours a day because I can't settle down to anything. Everything makes me mad. I can't eat properly - I literally feel sick. *bangs head on desk*
  23. AntiLove_SuperStar
    I have a Daybook. I'm trying to rehash my stupid ife back together. In class today, I looked down and saw I'd written: "How other people are or behave doesn't logically impact on my self worth at all". Very cliched? Possibly. But think about it.....whatever goes on around you, doesn't change YOU. And awareness of this fact can only change you for the better.
  24. AntiLove_SuperStar
    You know...I had a terrible problem with what I thought were continual UTIs. I'd feel ill. I'd feel like I REALLY needed to urinate. I'd urinate up to ten times an hour, and IT STUNG LIKE...well, you know. Of course you know. And this'd happen....every few days, at one point? Just awful....I began to think I had autoimmune/intertital cystitis, y'know? However, I went to the doctor. He gave me anti-spasmotic drugs to reduce my bladder activity. All well and good, but the drugs gave me diarrohoea...back to drawing board! Saw a second doctor. She suggested bladder retraining. I laughed, (she'd kept me waiting an HOUR for..that?!??) but decided to give it a go. When I felt The Pain that normally started an attack, I simply took some painkillers, and gutted it out for 20 minutes before I "gave into" the urge to urinate. Then 30 mins....40..... Now, aside from the odd twinge, I go every 3-5 hours, and I havn't had a SINGLE UTI from....November? I'm not saying the Sticking It Out technique is easy. It isn't...for the first week, I was in a fair amount of pain. And all this is assuming that you have had a sample analysed, and that you don't have an actual bacterial infection. I'm not saying its "all in your head" - yet, although my symptoms were very very real, it was ultimately a matter of retraining my bladder and using my mind to control my body. It was a hard task, but worth it. On reflection, I realised that my "UTI problem" started during a very stressful period of my life last year, and I think it just flipped my bladder to "overactive". Hope any of this is of a bit of help!
  25. AntiLove_SuperStar
    Of course I do! I'm a regular SOAB, right? And even though I never got caught by anyone (I don't think...at least, no one ever SAID anything or dumped me), I found it so easy to cheat, multiple times, plus engage in cyber sex and flirting and stuff on the side, I feel like an emotional psychopath/sociopath, I'm scared to death. Do people like me go on to commit worse atrocities? This is not about my BF at all, is it? This is about fear of my own horrific psyche and past acts.
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