Here's a story:
There's this woman who has been dating her boyfriend for nearly two years. They are in love, happy (totally cute!), spend a lot of time together, traveled around the world and are living a great life. Although she is quite happy, deep down inside she thinks that something is not quite right.
There have been signs everywhere, but she thinks that she is just paranoid because she has such a great life with a boyfriend who loves her and would never think that anything could ruin that.
One day, she and her boyfriend decided to play hooky and spend the day at home. They slept in, worked on the computer for a couple of hours and had a nice lunch together. He then realized that he had to run into work. So, she stayed in by herself, continued to work and cleaned up the house. As she sat by the computer, she realized that he had left his email on. When she dragged the mouse to the top of the browser to close the window, she saw a couple of emails from an ex-girlfriend. She frowned and pouted, but nevertheless continued to close it down. But during this process, her eyes naturally wondered to the subject line of one of the emails and she was overcome with diasspointment. Thoughts flourished in her mind. Emotions took over and even though she felt guilty and knew it wasn't right, she proceeded to open the email.
She needed to know if all of those signs she had been noticing were there for a reason. Low and behold, she received confirmation. She wasn't paranoid. Her stomach was in knots. She felt something she had never felt before. Total betrayal. The things she uncovered wasn't of a man who was in love with her, who took care of her, rather of a man who was engaged in flirtatious emails (and she could only think what else).
She thought to herself, why would he invite his ex on his business travels and vacations with him? Why would he ask his ex to send him naked pictures of her? Why would he deny the fact that he has a current girlfriend (was he ashamed of her?)? Why would send kisses to his ex and tell her that he thinks about her sexually? There were more questions, but these were enough to keep her mind occupied for the time being.
What kind of man was she with? Was this the man she thought was in love with her? Is he keeping his options open and taking her along for a ride until something/someone better comes along? Is he cheating on her? What was going on?
Understanding what she did was unlike her and wrong, she justified it with many reasons (the strongest one being what she found). She thought of putting her boyfriend in her shoes and agreed, that he would do the same thing had there been signs and had he been feeling the same way. She knew that the opportunity would give her the answers she needed, after all, when asked he wouldn't provide any information whatsoever and denied any communication between him and his exes, which was a lie. She even gave him an opportunity to open up by asking him questions after the email findings... and nothing.
Just to be clear, she is not obsessive, would never invade his privacy under any normal circumstances, but picked up on subtle clues throughout the months which lead her to do what she did. She does not regret doing what she needed to do to find out the truth, but she wishes that he could have been honest with her. She would have felt horrible if her findings were inconclusive and wouldn't be able to forgive herself.
So much emotion and time has been invested into their relationship. Now she is stuck, wondering how to approach the subject with him, wanting an explanation, but at the same time giving him the benefit of the doubt, as she always does. She reminds herself that she has been 100% loyal, honest and faithful to him and doesn't understand how and why he has been conducting himself in this manner. She needs to know what his intentions are with them and her.
Once approached, she knows whole heartidly that he will be on the defensive and blame her for looking at his emails. He will most likely walk out or shut her out completely (as he's done in the past when topics of this nature has arised) never resolving the issue. He will judge her instead of sympathising with her and probably won't realize or admit that he is at fault. She is deathly afraid of this moment. What she hopes is that he will explain everything - the why's, the how's, the motives - so she can better understand his reasons and come to a resolution. After all, she deserves answers and given that she is considering the next phase in her life (with an invitation to move in with him), she needs to know sooner than later.
She is a beautiful, intelligent, confident woman and yet somehow she is afraid to lose him knowing that he has violated her trust and their bond. According to her, he cheated, even if not physically (as there is no proof), definitely emotionally.
And just so it's been said, she doesn't mind that he communicates to women from his past. It's the fact that he hides it, as if he were hiding something bigger.
