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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. LostInMyThoughts
    I like to work for about 45 mins, then take a 15 break and do something fun, then work some more, then take another break. Then give yourself a fatty reward when you finish.
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    I had a very lousy childhood. But I'm a grown man, and make decisions myself. Yes my parents were bad, but the choices I make, are ones that I *choose* to make. I can't blame my parents for my life, and neither can you. You might want to consider counseling to help work through the family of origin issues you have. Playing the blame game isn't going to solve your problems.
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    Having a profile on Adult Friend Finder? Thats definitely a big no-no, and cause for concern. Unless it was an old account (i.e. he hasn't visited the site since the two of you started dating).
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    How many of you work in an office setting? Do you ever look up from your computer as someone walks by? It's something you do thats almost like a reflex.
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    LOL. Well played
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    I don't see chatting with other women online as being cheating. It depends on what they are talking about. If its about how the Cards are going to destroy the Tigers, thats okay. If it's having cyber-sex, then I say it's cheating. On the other side of the coin, how would your boyfriend feel if he found out you were chatting about him on a website for relationship issues? (yes I know ENA is more than that...) What are they chatting about?
  7. LostInMyThoughts
    Is that you in the picture? You're *very* pretty! I understand not liking your asian looks. For a long time I didn't like the fact that I looked indian. But, it's who we are. And there are a lot of people that dig asian girls. I mean, it's crazy how obsessed these guys are with asian girls. Who jokes about your looks? It's probably because they're jealous. But, I think no amount of reassurance is going to help, if you don't truly see yourself as being beautiful. Fark what people say. You're hot. Time to start believing it.
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    No its not. If I think talking to another man is disrespectful, how is it any different than you saying looking at another woman is disrespectful? When he's watching a movie, and a hot moviestar comes on the screen, do you fastforward, or make him close his eyes? Do you know whats going on in his mind? Can you read his thoughts? I think you are all kidding yourselves if you think you'll find a man who doesn't check out other women. Antilove is right: don't put up with disrespectful behaviour. I'm saying you need a reality check if you think *looking* at another woman is disrespectful. Gawking at them, sure thats uncalled for. God gave me eyes, and I'll admire beauty anytime anywhere.
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    Are they gawking at the women? Or is it a casual glance? I can understand gawking being disrespectful, but since when is it a crime to look at someone? Should a man slap his girlfriend in the head if he catches her talking to another man? Please. Guy's don't become blind as soon as they get into a relationship. Are you all really so insecure that you feel threatened when your boyfriend *looks* at another woman?
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    Thanks everyone for your comments and words of encouragement
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    Recently I met a wonderful woman, and we've started to become intimate. Last night she was over at my place, and after things got hot and heavy, we decided to have sex (our first time together) For some reason, when I started to put the condom on, I started to lose my errection. Of course I felt really bad. I couldn't get it out of my head. I'm finding it hard to not think about it. I talked to her abit when it happened, and she was so wonderful, telling me that it was okay with her. I totally believe her too, but now that this is stuck in my head, I'm afraid its going to be a big mental road block. My own advice is to try and not worry about it. Part of me is trying to find excuses, like we were going hot and heavy for a good 4 hours, that I couldn't be errect for so long. I could really use some help here. Anyone experience something similar, how did you get over it? Any input from women who have been in bed and had a partner have this happen. It just kinda sucks, because for me, performance in bed is a big point of pride.
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    I tried it in a relationship that lost a spark, and it didn't seem to work so well. It is a good read though; it gives a different perspective on dating.
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    I think so. I read this book: link removed I've used some of the ideas in the book, and it's been pretty good (at least I think my coworker is starting to fall for me).
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    Putting yourself on restriction is one thing. Expecting your girlfriend to do the same is another. You can't expect her to stop living her life because you two are apart. You can let her know that it makes you uneasy that she's hanging around this guy, but anything more than that will push her away and into this guys arms.
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    Well, if they haven't asked you for advice, there is really nothing that you should do, other than let people vent to you. Is there a reason thats preventing you from moving out of your moms house? If the situation there is bothering you, making moving out a top priority. If you are ever asked for advice, suggest family counseling. Other than that, you would be stepping on peoples toes.
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    Since it's your home, it's not wrong of you to ask her to leave. Have you talked with your boyfriend about this? Have you let him know how it's affecting you? Certainly you have every right to be at peace, especially in your own home.
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    RW I really feel for you. I know how you feel. I feel the same way when it comes to making things move faster. It sucks, but I guess you gotta just work through the pain.
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    Scout is so on the money with this one.
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    Thats not true at all. I had two dates this past weekend (two different women), and both were because the women decided to move ahead and ask me out. After the dates, both suggested the next date. That was fine with me. Some men might think thats forward; not me, I like women who take initiative. But I understand what you are saying. I think though it's not really the fault of dating. Perhaps it's because your moving ahead of yourself--you've already figured out that you want things to work out. Whether or not it's wrong, I don't know. I do know that if you approach it as being a 50-50 shot, and a no-lose situation, it might lesson the anxiety. Certainly you don't want to show how much you like this person too soon, because it gives off all sorts of negative emotions. Stay centered, it'll happen. If it doesn't it's not a loss.
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    Especially if it was a guy asking me that.
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    Look to yourself. Why are you insecure? What makes you feel like you can't trust him? As for calming down, most of the time, I use physical exercise to calm my anxiety. Yoga is also good. Sometimes it gets to be too much to handle, and thats when I make a post on ENA, or call my sister, looking for advice and validation.
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    It's not stupid at all. It just depends on what reasons you want for a seperation. If you just need some time apart to yourself to figure out what you want, then a seperation could help. If you want to date around and see what else is available, then a trial seperation isn't what you really want. You want to have your cake and eat it too. Thats not fair to your girlfriend. Reading other posts, falling out of love is common in many (if not all) relationships. It's the desire of both partners to work at falling back in love that keeps a relationship going.
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    Keep on dating. It's probably because you haven't found a person whom you mesh well with. Thats okay. It's okay to be "picky" but make sure it's grounded in reality. As long as your expectations aren't based on some hollywood fantasy it should be okay to be selective.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    It would be wrong, in that you're choosing to cross his boundaries by showing up to his house. I understand how you're feeling and that you want to talk, but unless your boyfriend wants to talk, showing up to his place will just make things worse. It's a natural feeling to want to force and outcome, but I don't think it will help things. You've already tried to talk to him, and he didn't respond. it's on him to make contact.
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    It's been a pretty sad week around our office. Yesterday they announced that 8 people would be laid off (we were only 22 people big). One of the people was a friend of mine who I've gotten really close to. I looked up to him in many ways. I wanted to model myself after him. He's gone, and I feel cheated. I was really sad when I found out he was being let go. Actually I'm still pretty sad. I cried this morning in the shower; thinking of all the fun times we've shared as a team, and how someone who was an important part of our success was let go. It's hard when you've worked with someone for a few years, gotten to know them as a person, shared laughs with them, drank a few beers, heck his daughter is one of my friends on myspace. It's hard to see a friend being let go. Logicially I guess it makes sense, it's for the good of the company. It still doesn't make it any easier. I know he'll be around, and I'll keep in touch with him. I know a few other people in the office had to say good bye to their close friends too. It just sucks. It's just a job and its not he end of the world, but I can't help but feel a little empty knowing that he won't be around.
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