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LostInMyThoughts

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  1. LostInMyThoughts
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    It's hard to diagnose someone based on memory. He could have been schitzophrenic, or suffered from bi-polar disorder. Have you thought about seeing a professional counselor? That might help you through the trauma you went through as a child, and also aid you in figuring out what mental illness your father had to deal with.
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm not saying that you became his second choice when he met her. I'm saying that if he is leaving to be with someone else, and seems like he wants to make things work with you if they don't work out between him and his girlfriend. I don't know what is in your boyfriends heart and mind, so I can't speak for him. One thought might be that he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. He is potentially being pragmatic here. He knows it might not work out, and he has a good thing going with you, so he's trying to avoid burning bridges (which is tough to do in a relationship). His reasoning is stupid. "For the experience." If it was for the experience, what does it have to do with her? There are numerous opportunities to travel, none of which require you do leave your girlfriend for someone else. You can hang around and wait for him, but thats to say he won't pull this same sort of stint later on?
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    Thats my problem with US society, how our attitudes toward sex are so puritanical. The Statue of David is a beautiful work of art, yet so many people view it as vulgar. That may be thier opinion, but they then force the rest of the country to believe the same way. Just look at waht that idiot John Ashcroft did with the Lady Justice Statue. Wasted all that money on trying to have that one breast covered up. The human body, and sex are beautiful, wonderful things. Things that should be celebrated, not locked away and held as dirty and shameful. While not all porn is tasteful, I can't stand people using their moral highground to trash it. Both participants are willing to perform on camera. How is that disrespectful? Even if the girls were abused, no one put a gun to their head and made them do it. My dad physically abused the hell out of me, but that's no excuse for how I conduct myself. I'm a grown man and am capable of making my own decisions. By that same logic, you shouldn't watch MTV, or buy any music that contains suggest lyrics, or buy cd's from musicians whose videos have scantaly clad women. Or by any product that uses women to sell their product because it's all disrespectful objectification of women.
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    Tough situation. It's okay that you are attracted to him. What you do with that attraction is more important. It sounds like you want to be with your boyfriend. So I suggest limit your contact with this coworker. Keep things on a professional level. If he starts in with the flirting, try giving him the cold shoulder. If that doesn't work, ask him politely to stop doing it. You might feel like you are being a *you know what*. Think about it from your boyfriends perspective. How would you feel if a female coworker was flirting with your boyfriend all the time. Tickling him, huging him, asking him to hangout with her on the weekends. And then to find out he was slightly attracted to her.
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    Well it's sort of a catch here. I had 2 meaningful relationships while I was separated pending a divorce. I certainly don't think they made a mistake by getting involved with me (they both ended up moving to foreign countries--actually the same country--weird huh?). So being separated isn't itself a huge redflag. I think right now you might be vunerable to this guy trying to continue to creep into your life. Work at trying to get him out of your life. Also like I wrote earlier, try not to beat yourself up too much for this.
  7. LostInMyThoughts
    So do you think the Statue of David is disrespectful? How about the statue of The Venus DiMilo.
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    Until she is more comfortable with her own body, nothing more. As long as you are trying to stimulate her, and not just going right to intercourse, your part is basically done. Orgasming is more mental than anything (it's especially tru for women). The next time you two get to talking tell her that it's important to you that she gets enjoyment out of sex, as you do. If she is getting enjoyment, then let it go. It'll happen eventually. I know it's a pride thing. I use to fret because I couldn't make my ex go. Then one nite it happened. I didn't do anything different. It just happened. After that it happened everything we wanted it to happen. Make sure you don't put pressure on her to hit the big O. That'll be counter productive.
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    Sorry, that wasn't my intent (if your post was directed at me). It's true that many porn stars have a history of abuse (typically sexual) during their upbrining. But not all of them.
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm thinking you should start a new profile. Just because you fell for this guy, doesn't mean you're stupid. Please stop putting yourself down. Yes yyou made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Read other posts and see how many other people have been in similar situations as you. I am sorry that you did have to go through this, I really am. But here is how I look at it. You can either continue to beat yourself up, put yourself down, and be miserable. Or you can stop shaming yourself, realize that yeah you made a mistake, deal with your feelings of sadness, and anger, then grow and learn from this experience.
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    That sounds like it's exactly what he's doing. If he really felt that you were the love of his life, why the heck would he be leaving the country to follow some girl around? I agree with you, I wouldn't want to be anyones second choice (especially if they told me about it!)
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    She'll likely get turned on by the same things that turn you on. Try touching her skin soft and gently. You can try pinching her nipples (not too hard) or grabbing her butt firmly.
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    You're not being stupid at all. However if she *does* have a boyfriend, it's not worth it to try and start a relationship with her. I made that mistake in highschool...
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    First of all, most of those sites are fake. They take porn stars, escorts, or girls who want to get into porn, take them to college campuses, shoot the scenes on location. Both the guy(s) and the girl(s) on these sites are in the sex business. They do it for money, plain and simple (perhaps they have other reasons) but it's just like any other porn movie.
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    My heart goes out to her friends, family and loved ones. I'm so sorry to read about this
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    Yes and no. The situations you encountered in highschool, you'll continue to encounter in the rest of your life. What will change, is what importance *you* place on these things, and the consequences of ignoring the "status quo." In high school, if you didn't have fashionable clothing, you could easily be ostracized by the rest of your class mates. Those situations still exist past high school, but you won't find that your coworkers, or friends will treat you badly because of what clothes you choose to wear (unless you are completely devoid of any fashion sense).
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    It sounds like you are doing the right thing. You held and kissed her, I'm pretty sure she gets the idea you are insterested in her, and from you've written she is definitely interested in you. Now all you have to do is just keep up the communication, asking her out on dates, and it'll happen. As for wanting to call her all the time, next time you do call her, just ask her "I'd like to talk to you more often, would you be okay with it?"
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    thanks everyone for the replies. She is attractive, but I dont know, I didn't get a good vibe while talking on the phone, and talking in person didnt really seem all that great. I wonder if its because I'm still reeling from my date last night... I should definitely sleep on it.
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    For questions like these, I suggest you consult your doctor.
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    Why are you interested in getting back together with her? Is it because you really feel like she is the one for you, or is it because something is preventing you from moving on. If its the former, then I say go for it--put it all out there. She might come around, she might not. If its the latter, then I think a nice birthday card should be all you send. Just my 2 cents.
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    Okay, I went on two dates this weekend with two different girls. The first was my coworker, which I really enjoyed. The second was with a friend of a friend, and it went okay. It was only our first date, but I wasn't really feeling it. I'm not sure how to proceed with this. My friend is saying not to call her, and not to answer the phone and hopefully she will get the hint. I guess i'm not good with this part, because I really can't be mean to people who are nice to me. I know it's not being mean, but I still feel like I'm being mean. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thanks!
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    I have a Yeah I need to tell her that I am interested in dating her. Still, I have so much fun with her, that I dont mind being *good* friends with her. She graduates in late winter (feb time frame I think). Her birthday is coming up soon, so I know thats a definite opportunity for me to take her out again
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    I'm glad to hear that you are starting to move on. I came here under similar circumstances, and have found a community to which I can voice my feelings, concerns, and offer words of support.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    Last night I had a date with my coworker. I have been attracted to her for quite sometime, and I finally decided to ask her out. After a near-nervous breakdown, everying finally fell into place. I picked her up from her house, and we went roller-skating. She use to rollerskate a lot and she had mentioned she wanted to get back into it. I loved to rollerskate (though I suck at it) so i figured it would be fun. And it was a lot of fun. She went and warmed up and did some tricks, came back, and we spent the rest of the night skating and talking about everything, family, work, relationships, some of my struggles in life, some of her struggles, etc. One thing that we talked about quite a bit was how she was so busy, working full time, and going to school for a PhD in psychology. I told her that I felt honored that she would take time out of her busy schedule to spend time with me, knowing she barely has time for her friends. At the end of the night she gave me a hug and I said we should do this again when she's less busy. She replied "yeah we'll do this again when I graduate." I thanked her again for going out with me, because I know she had a lot of work to do. So there things stand. I had a fun, and I want to respect the boundaries she set by not pestering her to go out again until she has more free time. At least I got to spend one evening with her, and I get to see her at work on monday
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    yeah a little leaning is normal for some men. If it's like at a 45 degree angle, well that's probably an issue. Lasting longer, well work on taking deeper, slower strokes at first. You can also try masturbating 45 mins before you have sex, just to get it out. Trojan makes condoms with desensitizing cream and they work really well. Sometimes a little too well. Take the time for a lot of foreplay. You said your girl likes oral and finger stimulation, use those. If you spend a lot of time with foreplay, it will *increase* the sex time. Sure vaginal intercourse might be limited, but if you get her hot and keep her hot for 10-20 minutes, to her it'll be 15-25 minutes of sex, not 5. You can use your fingers for vaginal intercourse, some girls like having thier g-spot massaged. Just in case you don't know where it is, it's up and in. So if you have a finger inside, with your palm facing towards her, and massage the area by moving you finger like you are telling someone to "Come here." Good luck!
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