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LostInMyThoughts

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Everything posted by LostInMyThoughts

  1. LostInMyThoughts
    Because I had known her for all of 3-weeks. Perhaps you're one of those people who believes they've met their soul mate within minutes of talking to someone; I ain't. I still care about her; but I care about myself a whole lot more. Doing what I think is best for me; yes that is selfish. I should have given up my happiness for someone I had known for about 3 weeks. I agree; she'll meet someone better--better for her. I wasn't the right person. So, what should I have done instead? (BTW I posed this question in a previous thread and the overwhelming response was to end the relationship)
  2. LostInMyThoughts
    I definitely screwed up by moving forward in a relationship with my ex; I thought I could bury my feelings with my friend. I was wrong. But how could I have known unless I tried? Once I realized I was being dishonest with myself, I ended the relationship.
  3. LostInMyThoughts
    Yeah it's crazy. Work so far has been okay; we have code names for each other. Part of me was worried, but I read some statistic about the percentage of people meeting their signifigant others at work, and to me its worth the risk.
  4. LostInMyThoughts
    Wow a lot of negative responses... I'm sorry I don't posses the ability to know that relationship is going to work out 10 seconds after meeting someone. It took me 3 weeks to figure it out. I'm also sorry that in 3-weeks I hadn't made a strong-enuff attachment to my gf that would force me to work through problems in my relationship. I should have waited until we fought like cats and dogs, and grew to resent each other instead of being honerable and telling her to her face that I didn't see a future in it. The funny thing is my ex sent me a message saying she was glad I told her when I did, and wanted to still be friends; while some of you think that she, and apparently my new gf are victims. Please get off your high and mighty soap boxes. I doubt none of you have the courage to stand up for what you know is right in your heart and do what I did, so instead you sit here and judge me. Who are you to judge me? It was a 3 week relationship; what did I owe it? If in 3 weeks I was already having doubts, think that the relationship would have done well?
  5. LostInMyThoughts
    Thanks for judging me. I guess being honest with her and telling her I didn't see a future in the relationship was a real jerky thing to do. Next time I'll just continue forward on with a relationship that's not working, because thats the "nice" thing to do.
  6. LostInMyThoughts
    I posted yesterday about my dilema (here: ); I just thought I'd share what happened. After work, I went over to my girlfriends house and told her that I didn't want to continue the relationship. She didn't understand, and was upset with me. She said some mean things, but I knew it was because she was hurt, and even though breaking up sucks, I was doing the right thing by being direct with her. She politely told me to leave; I did. End of story. I'm sorry things ended the way they did, but I'm proud that I did the right thing. Later that evening my coworker (the one I have had feelings for) came over, and one thing led to another and now we are together. Breaking up was tough, but I'm now with the person I really want to be with.
  7. LostInMyThoughts
  8. LostInMyThoughts
    I've had really good success with eHarmony actually.
  9. LostInMyThoughts
    Sorry, till the weekend. Is the lease in both of your names?
  10. LostInMyThoughts
    Is there anyone you trust that you can have stay over at your place?
  11. LostInMyThoughts
    It is your business. You have everyright to feel that you and your property is safe in your own home. But, it is also your roommates place as well. The ideal solution is to find a comprimise you both can live with. If you approach the problem together, instead of against each other, it'll work out for the better. Instead of being confrontational, just express your concerns to your roommate. That you're worried about your stuff. After all, he might have changed, or he might not.
  12. LostInMyThoughts
    Thanks everyone for the replies. I want to do this in person--eventhough it's going to be really hard, but I don't know how to set it up. I don't want to ambush her, by asking her to come over, but at the same time I don't want to do the "We need to talk..." and let her forbode about it. Any suggestions?
  13. LostInMyThoughts
    Hi everyone, I'm in a bad spot right now, and I could use some advice. I have a girlfriend (we've been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now) but I am having a hard time putting my all into the relationship. She is older than I am, and I know that she is looking for something more longterm (ie leading to marriage). I don't see myself as being this person. Her age isn't important, but I feel like she is looking for something more thant I am. Having been recently divorced, I don't know if I'm ready for a serious relationship. Making things harder are my feelings for a friend. I know my friend has reciprocal feelings for me; but I thought I could bury those feelings and move forward with my relationship. I now know I can't. I find myself thinking of my friend, as opposed to thinking of my girlfriend. I have a lot more fun with my friend, instead of with my girlfriend. I've tried to have fun with my girlfriend, but it's just not happening. When I'm with my friend, I feel like a kid again; like in a movie going some great adventure. When I'm with my girlfriend, I feel safe, and cared for. I haven't done anything that would be considered cheating. I haven't told my gf about my feelings for my friend, but I haven't lied about when I spend time with my friend, either. I think it's unfair for to myself to continue to ignore my feelings, nor is it right for me to continue with a relationship if I can't give it my all. I don't want to break up because of another woman; so logically I should cut down the time I spend with my friend, but I don't want to. I love the way I feel when I'm with her. I haven't felt this way in a long long time. It doesn't help that we work very very closely. I'm trying to look at this as two separate issues, that I can't give it my all to this relationship, and what I want with my friend. I know they are related, but if one didn't exist, the other would still be an issue. So it's come down to this, I think it's best for me to end things with my girlfriend, but I'm not 100% convinced. I care for her, and I don't want to hurt her; but I know that our relationship isn't what I want. On paper it seems great, but deep down I know something isn't right. I need advice; support; a slap upside the head. Anything. I'm struggling here. Thanks. LIMT.
  14. LostInMyThoughts
    englishpeony: Sorry that I wasn't clear. Your fiance said that Tom shouldn't be allowed to see the girl because it wasn't Tom's daughter. You countered by saying She's not my daughter, so why do I get to see her. It's like you were defending this guy Tom's right to see your fiance's daughter. Yes your fiance lies a lot (probably a red flag), but that doesn't mean his anger isn't justified. Just be aware that having someone you care about, turn around and defend someone you're angry at, can be really bad. My motto "It's me and you against the world."
  15. LostInMyThoughts
    First, I think you might want to support your fiance next time he's upset, instead of playing devils advocate. He's upset, why are you taking his ex-wife's side? Seems like a thing to do. Second, divorce can be tough on a person. He's obviously still upset at the situation. It's not jealousy, it's anger. He is being possesive of his daughter, using her to control a situation. I think thats the wrong approach though. Have you mentioned to him that you feel like he brings up his ex wife a lot? How long ago were they married?
  16. LostInMyThoughts
    I agree, don't read into myspace too much. I put all kinds of crazy bs on my page 1/2 of which is complete nonsense.
  17. LostInMyThoughts
    Great advice!!!
  18. LostInMyThoughts
    Well worry if you want to, but I think if you dwell on it, you'll sabotage the relationship. If he isn't hiding anything about his relationship with her, then I dont see the problem. I'm in a similar sitation. My gf is letting a close friend of hers stay with her while he's dealing with a divorce. They dated like 7 years ago, and now they're just like brother and sister. I personally do not care. I'm glad she told me about their history, and I'm glad she has a really good friend. If she wants to be foolish to ruin our relationship with this guy, then it's her loss, not mine.
  19. LostInMyThoughts
    Speak to a lawyer when it comes to your rights. I don't know how things work in the UK, but in the US, generally speaking property and family support are awarded differently. Property, wealth and debts are split 50-50, and spousal and child support are based on something else. As someone who has gone through a divorce, I say go the easiest way out. If he wants 50%, let him have 50%. Only fight if he wants more than that.
  20. LostInMyThoughts
    Don't worry about it. Has your BF given you any reason to not trust him? If not, then why make up a problem when there isn't one? Why are you trying to control your boyfriend's friendships?
  21. LostInMyThoughts
    I don't know if they are mutual. She is a coworker, and we work closely. In fact she sits like 4 feet away from me. I know that right now in her life, she's not ready for a relationship. Additionally I see a lot of qualities in her that my ex-wife had, which didn't work well with my "qualities." I know we'd have some fun together, but it wouldn't be a healthy relationship. On the otherhand, my gf and I seem fit for each other. The spark is there, and I think about her a lot. We're into a lot of the same things (and if you knew me--finding a woman who is into the same things as me is tough). I like my gf, but it's missing that fun-spark, that I seem to have with my friend. It's like, I get support, compassion, passion from my gf, but I have fun (like juvenile fun) with my friend. Thanks everyone for your replies.
  22. LostInMyThoughts
    This has been on my mind recently, and I would love some input. I few weeks ago, I met someone and we're now a couple. Prior to meeting my gf, I became close with a coworker of the opposite sex, who has now become a good friend of mind. While we "are just friends" I know that my friendship with her stemmed from being attracted to her. When the two of use hang out, it's a lot of fun, and there are things that my friend does, that my gf doesn't really have any interest in doing (like snowboarding, going out partying). I feel like my friendship with her, coupld possibly be stiflying my budding relationship with my gf. Then again, I wonder why I'm not 100% gung-ho about my new gf. My gf knows about my friend, and after reading up about emotional affairs, I want to talk to her about the bond my friend and I have formed because I am a person of integrity, and I don't want to be ashamed of my friendship. I know I'm walking a slippery slope here, but I'm torn. I don't want to sever ties with my friend, nor do I want to risk hurting a budding relationship. I want to find a balance--but I'm struggling; I love hanging out with my friend, she is a lot of fun to party with and in many ways was helpful in my recovery from a rough spot. But I also think that my gf is an amazing person and our relationship deserves 100% of my focus and energy. Please help.
  23. LostInMyThoughts
    I've always been a fan of meeting women at volunteer events.
  24. LostInMyThoughts
    I jerk off a lot. When I say, a lot, I mean like more than should be humanly possible. No loss with my lunula. Urban Legend I'm guessing. Logically, how does masturbating affect the blood?
  25. LostInMyThoughts
    I found it helpful to take on a bunch of extra curricular activities, like working out, playing music, volunteering, anything I could do to go out and take my mind of things. Eventually your mind will sort itself out, and you will be okay.
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