Süsser Tod

I'm not a morning person, I know that quite well. But I try to go to the gym everyday in the morning... And I haven't been going regularly for the last two weeks. Last week I had a really bad cold, so I didn't went. But this week I can't wake up on time to go to the gym. Also this unability to wake up on time has affected me on my job. Im a top performer, if not the best, in my team. But my manager always compains about the time I arrive to the office (usually 10-20 minutes past my time). This has been just the excuse for her to give me warnings everytime she can, as our relationship is not very good at all, as I challenge most of her desicions as a manager, and she HATES that. Yesterday I went to bed really late, as it was my brothers birdthay, and I always find something to do instead of going to bed. So I ended up going to bed at 2:00am and couldnt sleep 'till around 2:30. Obviously I couldn't wake up at 7:30 to go to the gym. The alarm clocks were sounding and I woke at 9. I realized it was too late to go to the gym, so I thought "I'll set another alarm at 9:45 so I can wake up on time to take a shower and go to work" (My shift starts at 11). As always, I woke up at 10:30!!! I hate myself! I took a shower real fast and I was already on top of my bike ready to go out, when I realized that I had forgot my badge (high security building, without it you can't even go to the bathroom, literaly) So I went back for it and looked at the clock, 11:00, no way I'm making it to the office before 11:30 (the limit time) and I don't want to kill myself while riding too fast to get to the office on time... That and the fact that my manager would have the perfect excuse to give me another lecture and make my "late record" even worse... So I decided to call in sick. This is the first time I've done something like this and I feel awfull. I think it was a good desicion, but I hate having to make it! Any good ways to make it easier for me to wake up??? I already have 3 THREE alarm clocks, plus my cell phone alarm and the TV... I think a train could wreck in front of my house and I wouldn't notice it...

By now I'm almost banging my head on the wall. I can't remember why the h*ck I worked so hard to get back with her, just to get all this... this... you know... Yes, we didn't went out on the weekend, but she was extremely sick (got a really bad infection on her throat), and I spent Friday and Saturday nights at her house, watching a movie so she wouldn't go out for her to get well soon... And now she comes up with that "I want to have fun as I didn't went out during the weekend"... Now I can't help but think "What was I thinking when I thought I wanted her back!!??" We are back to what things used to be, she getting mad all the time for whatever reason.

heloladies, I think you are right on. We had a long breakup, and one thing we agreed on is to go out more often. While we were separated she started partying and liked it. I'm not a party guy, but I'm trying my best, as I know it is good for me also. What is a pattern is that she'll always find somethign to get mad about! Last week I barely spent time with my parents. For the record, she hadn't spent not even a minute at my house after we got back, before we used to spend most of the time here, and she got fed of it. Well, I told her that I wanted to spend some time with my parents on Sunday, so I asked her if she would like to play domino with them. I told her this on Saturday night, well, as it was expected, she got mad and I can perfectly remember her answer "I don't want to spend the whole weekend at your house!" What? Sorry, but she hadn't stepped into my house for more than two months, and she comes up with that? That is just an example of how, always, she finds something to get mad about...

Lets see, tomorrow (and everyday for that matter) I have to wake up at least at 8am, to go to the gym, then come home, take a shower and go to the office. Going out everyday to have fun may be nice if you don't have a job and don't have to meet an schedule every day. If you only have to go to school on the afternoons, go for it! But what does she expects me to do, to go partying everyday and forget about work? I'm feeling she is only considering what she wants to do, and not trying to reach a medium point that makes both of us happy.

I get out of work at 8, I got to my house around 9pm. My GF at that time is at school (summer class). She called at 9:25: She- Do you want to see me today? Me- Yes, why? She- As you didn't called me I thought you didn't wante to spend time with me. Well, she came to my house (my house and her school are very close, her house is very far away). When she came: Me - What do you want to do? She - I want to have fun! Me - What do you mean by having fun? She - In this case I'd like to go to a bar and have a beer. Me - But you can't you are taking antibiotics. She - Well, yes, and I have to get home at 11 as I have to take the pills. Me - So what you want to do? She - Something like that. Me - But its Monday, it would be fine on Thursday, Friday or weekend, but Monday? I don't think Monday is kind of the best day to go partying as, well, it is Monday, there is still most of the week ahead, and starting the week lacking sleep is not my idea of a good week start. But well, that made it for her. "She felt insulted and that hurt her a lot", that is exactly how she told me she felt. So I told her that maybe it would be better to see he another day. She just stood there shaking her head, getting more and more upset and finally she left! But not before saying "Excuse me for bothering you and making you go out of your bedroom" I can't do anything without her going mad at me! She either thinks that everything I do is to bother, control or try to change her mind, or that I'm just too boring. Well, yes, I think that maybe having a cup of cofee plus a walk in the park or something like that would be good for a Monday, but no, she wanted to go to a bar or something like that. Am I plain wrong or what is going on???

That sounds like a Maniac episode, and the trigger seems to be stress... It looks to me that you are holding too much stuff in yourself! You have to find a constructive way to let all that anger/stress out! Do you have any recreational ideas? For example, I ride motorcycles. You don't know how relaxing it is for me to go for a LONG ride, just my bike, the road, the wind and me. I'm alone with my thoughts, so I have a place where it is just me, and I can think about my problems, things I have to do and the situations I have to deal with. That helps me get rid of some stress... Another thing that helps me is the gym. I release a lot of energy there, also it makes me feel better about myself, and when I get home I'm more relaxed and I sleep like a baby! Find a constructive way to release all that energy, keeping it trapped will only cause these "explosions" and is extremely destructive, as, as you already know, in these "maniac episodes" you can do stuff you'll regret for a long time. It also takes a lot of energy, so I get home tir

I've been there, done that. No, I'm not gay nor bisexual, but I know what is to live a life you don't want to live. A life that was imposed on you by your parents... Sooner or later you'll have to take your life on your hands, that is a fact, so you better start thinking how. As for your father, have you talked to him about this? My dad is a homophobe, but I know why. When he was a kid, he was harassed by a homosexual guy, he wasn't abused, but the harassment got pretty bad. His oder cousing (guy was involved in gangs, guns, drugs, etc) heard about it, and took the situation on his hands, he didn't killed the guy, but scared him away. From that day my dad hates homosexuals... And as if that hadn't been enough... His sister never married, but has this other woman, who has been her "best friend" for over 25 years, and now lives with her... (We know for a fact that my aunt's friend is a lesbian) My dad is still a homophobe, but has handled it, and gets along with his sister. So that means that the love for a member of your family can even overcome those phobias. Don't be so scared of your dad.

Ask help from a friend. Parents often misunderstand situations, so ask for help from a friend that may understand better. If the doctor finds anything wrong with you, you'r parents will receive a lesson, and if you are fine, you can keep skating By the way, do you really like skating or is it an imposition from your parents? If it is the later, then you have a real issue on your hands...

Here and in China, that means she is interested on you. Just go with her, even if she is from China, she still has feelings and a heart, and love will find its way, even accross different cultures. Don't over analyze what is so simple. Just go with her and enjoy picking fruits, time together will explain you her feelings

A little background info: I'm male, 26 yo, and I live with my parents. Before you jump on me about that, it is pretty normal here. Here the normal thing is to move to your own place once you get married. Well, that and the fact that the bad economic situation does not allow people to easily get a place of their own. Now to the issue... Had a fight with my dad today. He wanted me to scan some papers so he could send them through e-mail. He asked me about this on Wed, but he didn't had them at home, then on Thursday he forgot them at the office. He took them home on Friday. Friday I went to work and then went to my GFs house to watch a movie, so it was late in the night (like 2am) when I got home. On saturday I left home early as I had to run some errands (take the car to the muffler shop, buy some spare parts for my motorcycle) and then I went straight to work (I worked this saturday, as most saturdays, as I get paid extra). At night I went to my GFs house, to watch another movie, as s she got a cold. When I got home, he didn't even said "Hi" he just came to my room and told me "Its too late to scan the documents, can we do it tomorrow?" Obviously I said yes. Today in the morning he woke me up with the document scanning thing, told him we would do it later... Then he came to my room another time, I hadn't even got up, same thing... And as Sunday is my only free day in the week, and as it is raining season. I wanted to go early for a ride (I ride motorcycles as my hobby) so I could get home before it rained. On my way out he asked, again, about the documents... I couldn't stand it anymore, so I blew. Told him that it was my only free day, asked him to give me some time so I could do whatever I wanted on my only free day. He got upset, told me he would never ask me anything again, blah, blah blah... Scanning the stupid papers would have taken 10 minutes, why coudlnt he wait until I got back? HE didn't even aske me if I had plans for the Sunday, he just cared about having the documents scanned, and it is always the SAME THING! If they ask me to do something, and I agree, then for them it shoudl be my top priority! When I tried to talk to him about this, in the afternoon, when I came back, he told me he didn't wanted me to and that he had already bought a scanner so he could do it himself as I'm never willing to help them and I'm just rude to him! 1 month ago he asked me to put his motorcycle for sale. So I made a sign and every morning parked it in front of our house. This past week I didn't did it as the Electricity Company came and cut some branches off the trees as they were getting close to the wires, and left all the branches, and garbage on the sidewalk. It took one week for the sanitary dept to get a truck to pick up that mess (as they did it on several houses). Well, he also took the chance to point that I haven't helped him to sell his motorcycle as I hadn't taken it out the last week! My gawd, what I was supposed to do, park it on top of 3 foot of tree branchess???? And it is always the same, if he asks me to do something, like two weeks ago, to do "manteinance" on his computer, it has to become my priority, no matter if I have other stuff to do. That weekend I had got a couple of computers from friends to fix, extra money is always wellcome, so I had to fix those computers, and then his computer. That sunday I went to bed at 3am, to wake up next day to go to my regular work... They can't seem to understand that I have a life of my own, that I don't live to do just what they need me to do! For them, anything I want to do is just a game, or a waste of time, and only what they want me to do is important! And it just makes me feel unapreciated! Everytime the door opened has broken, I've been the one to fix it. Last time we had a problem with the electricity, and we had part of the house without power for three days, I was the one that fixed it. And I always help them in everything I can! Now they just blame me for not helping them at all! My brother does nothing to help them, is 30 years old and still lives at home, my mom still gives him money every week, and they NEVER ask him nothing! He even goes through cars as if they were disposable (I remember one time he called me, his car had overheated, and we stopped at a gas station and added 1 galon of water to the radiator, was something wrong with his car?), and my mom is still trying to buy him a new car??? And it has been like that like... forever! I even had to drop out of college because I decided to buy a motorcycle. That made sense back then, as with the money saved on gasoline I could make the payments... But NOOO!!! As I dared to buy a motorcycle they woldn't give me any money anymore, so I had to drop out of college to get a full time job to pay the motorcycle. And I had to drop out of college, from a major I didn't even liked! As all the time I wanted to study mechanical engineering to work with race cars and motorcycles. But according to my dad, everyone who races cars, or rides motorcycles is just a psyco looking to kill himself... So I went to IT engineering... Looking back, buying that motorcycle wasn't that bad. Yes, I'm a college dropout, but that was just what made me realize that at some point I had to live my life, instead of living the life they wanted me to. But that only further proves the lack of respect they have for my choices, my goals and my way of living! And if I'm stuck in here, living with them, its just because of how hard they have made it for me! If they had... not helped, just kept out of my way, instead of just putting barriers, I would probably be somewhere else now!

Ok, I know I am DUMB I left the cigarrete for 6 months, then got back into smoking for a set of stupid situations/desitions... And let me tell you something, if you leave it and then get back, it is harder to quit again! Now, back to your question. I felt no 3 day hump, in fact, the first week was extremely easy for me, as I felt so much better that I didn't even thought about it. Over the time it kept getting harder, but more or less, two months later I didn't even cared for smoking again... One day, I heard from someone, maybe a job oportunity and started thinking about it and trying to decide. I was so nervous that i decided to buy a pack. What happened, well... i thought, It is just a pack, I'm not going to be a smoker again... LIE!!! You are a smoker forever, and that pack hooked me again! So even if you quit, you'll be a smoker forever, and your addiction will always be there trying to hook you, so you'll have to be carefull. Its not like "3 days without smoking and I'm free".

Move on, she is not there for you anymore. You'll have to learn to live for yourself.

Hmmm, in mi situation it is the contrary, I'm the one always wanting sex, and my GF is the one that refuses to most of the time. It is extremely frustrating, as I feel as if I werent good at it or as if she didn't enjoyed it at all!

That sounds more like she wants to be your GF. A FWB usually starts with an agreement, where both parties know it is just casual sex. In this case, as she went and kissed you and you accepted her, she thinks you are her GF. And the most important fact, she is behaving as your GF, a FWB is just sex and the rest a normal friendship, holding hands, cudling, etc, in public, is the normal behaviour for a couple, not for FWBs. However, if you still have doubts, ask her. But I really think she is your GF, and that kind of question would only hurt her. And getting involved with a close friend... Well, a good friendship is an excelent beginning for a relationship. The consequences if something goes wrong wont' be nice, but you've already passed that point, anything you do right now will bring those consequences. So if you really have feelings for her, go ahead and try to get the relationship to work!

Echo, right now your mind is your worse enemy, don't give your mind any free time, as it may betray you. Keep yourself busy, read a book, do sports or whatever keeps your mind off the situation. That way every day will be easier. Just remember that the first days will be the worse.

It may have something to do with your attitude. If you are too self confident (thats good), but show yourself as extremely self confident (that's bad), you'll scare guys away. As for your rommate, too many variables. Maybe she looks like an easy catch or easy to get laid, that attracts lots of guys.

"turned off by her juices"??? Do you find female genitalia disgusting??? If I were to have sex, the first thing I'd like to see are juices in there. That means she is excited and waiting for me! You may have to accept the female genitalia, the smell and taste, learn to enjoy the full package! I LOVE the full package, including oral, and that means tasting and swallowing those juices. Now, to answer your question. How you perform in sex is directly related to your health. Work out, cardio, get a healty life, including a healthy excersice, and trust me, your partner in bed will notice it.

Honestly... 1) Is he willing to give me a second chance Probably not, specially not at this time. 2) is he seeing someone else Only he knows, but if he wants to be with you, he wont. 3) is he ever going to talk to me again Probably, 2 years of his life can't be forgotten so fast. But I don't think thats your real question. 4) is he ever going to try and see the real me Read the answers to the other three questions. Don't try to fool yourself, you only have one question, and thats it "will he date me again?". The answer is, probably not at this time. Give him time, give him time to heal, he can't come back to the relationship with open wounds, he must heal those before coming back. If he doesn't, it will be like the return of my GF, after being separated for 2 months, after a 3 year relationship, she came back. Those were 4 great days, but at the end of day 4 we had what should had been a small fight. But she freaked out, as it was affecting her old wounds, and ran away...

Being a bartender, if he hasnt made a move yet, that means he won't. You may be enjoying the game, he may just be talking to someone.

Well, hope you sent some pictures of you to the guy, so he can realize what he'll be missing!

Maybe you mised the part where he called thinking he was talking to his "team mate", who is likely to be a female... Dumb question, is that you on your avatar Annie? That picture reminds me of Peta Wilson (Nikita?).

Kyo: I've already posted this, but maybe you missed it. Loneliness is not your problem, it is just the symptom of your real problem, that is manifesting itself as loneliness. I've been in your shoes. Being 23 and never had a GF, not even a kiss. Then I had a GF, guess what? I still felt lonely and empty! Thats when I had to face it, I have a lot of issues, that are causing me to stay away from people and potential mates. Even when I had someone by myside I still felt lonely, why? Answers to the mistery of life are exactly what I don't have, so don't ask them to me. But I can tell you something. I met that gal when I felt like never meeting another girl, after I had been betrayed and awfully hurted by another female. I was so focused on healing myself and doing my thing that I didn't noticed how it happened, until it was too late and I was in the relationship. Another interesting posibility. You are so convinced that you are not worthy of having a relationship, or that every single female wants to stay away from you, that you are causign them to stay away from you. We are the makers of our own destiny. Yes, isht happens, but it is up to us to turn things for ourselves.

Well, I said, "if you don't have anything better to do". If you feel like painting your toes, playing with yourself, or pampering yourself with a nice warm foamy bath along with some wine and soft music, you're set for a nice night withyourself... But if you feel like laughing at the dork that called you thinking you were someone else and that must be feeling even "dorker" by now, you could show up. If I were in that position, I wouldn't go, too many strikes already and you haven't even met him. But I know that one question would stalk me, "what if?"... OK, I'm just complicating myself. Hate when I think too much.

Exactly! How many girls say, "Hi, I noticed that you are really confident!" Excellent conversation starter. I laugh when I remember this... I had this boss, a typical Jewish guy, blonde, blue eyes, white skin, very thin and very short! He was like 5 feet tall, maybe 5 feet 5 inches. He had nothing special in his looks, except for... He had an overwhelming personality! The little guy would be noticed everytime he entered a room, he could sell ice to a skimo, and sell it expensive! Then I met his son. Basically they looked the same, just that the kid looked a lot younger, and had a rich kid attitude, with 0 personality. The guy went completely unnoticed! Looks are subjective, and there is a lot of truth in this "people will look in you what you want them to look". My boss had such kind of personality and presense that he could have any, and I mean, any gal out there. It was amazing! While his kid, "blessed" with the same physical attributes couldn't catch a cold...

Well, think you've answered yourself. Just go for fun if you've got nothing better to do on Wed, just an innocent date