Süsser Tod
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Everything posted by Süsser Tod
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Stop thinking about your penis as your only sexual organ, if anything, it is the least effective. Your mind/imagination is the most important one, then your mouth/lips and your hands. Penis is clumsy and doesn't have the same ability you have on your hands and tongue. Think about it, lovemaking is not only stiking in your penis and doing the good old in-out motion. By the way, relax and enjoy. That is the most important. If you focus all of your attention into getting her to orgasm, instead of focusing on pleasure, it won't happen.
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It is your last week working there, and it also happens to be the week she is away for vacations, right? Well, what is keeping you from going back after you're done with your work and ask her out?
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Broke No Contact and Feel like Crap
Süsser Tod replied to alaskagrrl's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Famous last words Lets see. Don't drink water for a week. You'll likely die, right? Now, get yourself in a pool and dont' step out for a week. The results won't be as dramatic as dying from dehidratation, but they won't be something too look forward to. My point is, no water, you die, too much water, you also die. But you need water in order to live, right? So what is the basic principle behind this? Balance. If you are suspicios of all men, and never let yourself trust anyone, you'll likely end up single forever. If you trust every guy out there, you'll end up being hurt big time. So? Balance, let things happen, and take your time. Dont rush things, and be safe but also let yourself trust. No one can guarantee that you won't get hurt. If anything, you'll get hurt again (who said it was easy? If it was easy, then there wouldn't be any fairy tales). This is about balance, and the risk you can accept. -
Well, guess I'm not dating a virgin anymore, as my gf is not a virgin anymore... Yes, well, after a long talk it finally happened. Now I'm dating a sexaholic, jejeje, well, I'm exagerating but I guess she had to get over her fears about sex. I truly hope she didn't lied to me about that, or it is going to backfire on me bigtime. But, so far, so good. It seems that it really got the relationship to a new, higer, level. We'll see how everything goes. Well, yes, in fact I noticed that while I learn a lot in here, reading other people posts, my mind starts playing games on me. And my mind is one thing I've never been able to deal with, so right now I don't want to give it new ideas. Maybe I'll start posting more, as my mind has settled down by now, I had a really rough time a month ago.
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Yeah, I'm seeing here the same pattern is all over the relationship. She is way too selfish and selfcentered. The other day we were making out, I masturbated her and as soon as she had an orgasm, clothes came back. Then I heard the good old "hug me"... Same thing goes in other aspects of the relationship. For example, she had to make her schedule for this semester. Obviously, she didn't asked me what I thought would be better for US, what would make things easier so we could spend more time together. So here I am adjusting my schedule to hers... Last weekend I only saw her for like 3 hours on Saturday night at her house, we watched a movie. Didn't spend any time with her early Saturday, nor Sunday because she had too much work to do. She choosed all of that, and left me for whatever spare time she had... OK, I'm getting angry while I type this. Guess the relationship already went south.
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Believe her at her word??? What does that mean? Yes, I would feel like the dumbest guy on earth if after waiting for her two years, once she is done with college, finds out I'm not what she is looking for in a guy (as her perspective about life may change). However, that is only speculation, it may not happen and we can end up happily married...
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Yep, that is what I understand from all she has said. But when I confront her with that, she denies it all. Even worse, from other conversations, the timeframe for her to consider marriage is more about 4 to 5 years... It was something like "I won't move in with you before I've had my own place" So, that is about, year and a half before she gets out of university. Then about 6 months before she can afford her own place. We are at two years from now, if everything goes perfect, and then at least a couple of years living on her own place, and we got to the four years... Four years from now I'll be 31, almost 32. Once I told her, maybe you're not ready for this sort of relationship, an adult relationship. And she went ranting on how the guys of her age (22) only care about getting drunk, getting high and having sex. By the way, she is an intellectual girl, almost never goes out, spends a lot of time studying, etc.
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Do you want her e-mail address and phone number so you can give her advise on how to keep her virginity longer? Or do you want her mail address so you can send her a greeting card? Oh, and wouldn't you like my address so you can send me some dog poo? Thanks, but if I were looking for some abstinency advocate I could walk to the church that is two blocks away from home, or I could go by the CatholicNet office that is on my way to work.
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We've been a couple for 5 months. Basically she said "A pregnancy would really screw up things at this point". Soooo.... That means she wants to be done with college, and have some financial security before being able to stand the risk of a pregnancy. Also she wants to be sure she'll be forever with the guy she loses her virginity. OK, that means, year and a half for her to be out of university. Plus at least a couple of years for her to have a stable job and be able to afford a place. Now, here is the twist. For her to be able to afford a pregnancy, she would have to be married, or the guy to be able to help her with money. She doesn't want to be a stay at home mom, but she is afraid (with reason) that she may lose her job because of a pregnancy. Obviously, no job = no home (how would she pay the rent?), etc. Plus the "forever" part, that not even after marriage is guaranteed... So the "reason" for her not to have sex is pregnancy. Then look back to where she would like to be before taking that risk. Does that sound to you a little bit like, "I want to wait until I'm married"???
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First of all, you've got to accept yourself and realize it was not your fault. Once you're in peace with the past, you'll be able to look into the future.
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To be honest, sex is a big deal for humans. I could have gone through this five years ago, when I was a virgin myself. I didn't knew better and had no trouble keeping my penis inside my pants. At this point, where I know what I'm missing, no, I don't think I can hold on for much longer.
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Broke No Contact and Feel like Crap
Süsser Tod replied to alaskagrrl's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Nope, it isn't either, it was a lie. Basically, he wasn't that much into you as he is into the new girl. Obviously, he is as much into the new girl as to commit. Live and learn. Don't get yourself stuck in a relationship where you feel somethign is not right, and most important, a relationship that is not fullfilling to you. -
Well, not that it is likely that I run into another anytime soon... But I'll make sure I ask before I get into another relationship, if the current one comes to an end. She said she didn't wanted to wait until marriage, and that virginity is not important to her. Not important, my behind... See, she is so afraid of a pregnancy that for her to have sex, there are many conditions that have to be met, from the relationship to the economic and professional standpoints. So many requirements that they would be hard to achieve even after marriage! So she said she dind't wanted to wait until marriage, but she does want to have all this requirements fullfilled that a couple would be lucky to have even after marriage... Yes, I got trapped in a sexless relationship... And it is FRUSTRATING! At this point I don't want to be her first one, it even scares me. It is so much responsibility to be all what she expects from a couple for her to have sex that I don't want that responsibility. I wish she had already had sex with someone else, I truly wish she weren't a virgin. Now it is for me like going to a strip club. Get teased all night, don't get any. Next day, same thing, tease and more tease but no sex. And that has been like that for the past 5 months. I'm getting to the point of asking her not to even try to make out, as it makes it even more frustrating, and the frustration only builds up. I tried to explain it to her like this. Think of a relationship as a pizza with a twist. A relationship without sex is like a pizza without cheese. One good day, you get cheese on your pizza, and you love a real pizza with bread, tomato sauce and cheese! Then you get into a different relationship, and obviously, you expect the whole deal, the pizza WITH cheese, but instead you get a cheeseless pizza. How would you feel about it? Having known the real deal I thought I would be able to stand the cheeseless pizza for a while. Now I'm getting tired of it and really looking forward for a real adult relationship, with all of what a real adult relationship involves. I feel trapped in a "sweaty hand" highschool relationship. When I'm with her, we both build up a lot of sexual energy, and sometimes there is some sort of release. Now, releasing some energy doesn't mean you're satisfied. Its like having that cheeseless pizza, yes, you may not feel hungry anymore, but wouldn't you wish you had the pizza with cheese? I'm getting to a point where I might break it off with her before cheating.
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I'm not really sure what is your point. Are you complaining about being a virgin, or are you complaining about being unable to find someone worthy of having sex with?
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By the way, sent her a message telling her that I could make it today or tomorrow after work, that was at 9:30, she hasn't replied so I guess she freaked out or she is not that interested. Guess it doesn't really matter, I'm not in such a hurry to meet her.
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She slept right next to you, without any sex phisical contact??? Big blinking red flag. She is not only seeing the other guy, and she has already lied to you, so get your own conclusions. Of course, it is only my opinion. Take it from where it came, a nameles scary clown But I was always teached to think about the worse.
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As I see this, she is having her cake and eating it too. All she can give you now is more and more heartache, if you keep goinb back to her you'll get more of the same, if you walk away, it will hurt, but it will slowly get better. I would rater have the later than the former, you're a good looking guy, so it won't be hard for you to find someone that truly appreciates you down the road. I think you should actually get yourself to swallow your pride and ego and walk away (fighting for her was ego driven).
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Just to meet in a friendly way? And I know she won't be anything like I remember, I know I'm not what she remembers (a lot of me was lost in the translation, sadly, darker on the inside, lighter on the outside. Heck, now I even scare myself sometimes...) Typing my op helped a lot, realized I don't want anything to do with that girl, I don't think even friendship, but I do want the closure I never gave to myself and a chance to catch up with someone that meant a lot to me back then.
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Wish I had a word of advise for you, but you know me, 9 years older than you and trying to figure out more or less the same things. Loved this: Aint that the truth? You remind me so much of myself it is scary.
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A song that always reminded me of her back then, it is like if it had been written for her: How I felt back then about her, how I feel now with my gf: I've been fighting for my soul And sometimes it takes a toll Hope one day you'll understand What it means to hold in hands What they call a fantasy It is nothing but a key To the world that now I'm in That they call a wicked dream
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Long story short. 5 years ago I dated this girl, I really liked her, but I was too dumb to make a move on her so I was friendzoned and/or she got tired and hooked up with someone else. I attended a self help course and one of the things I had to do there was to "clean space" (as they called it) with someone. So as that relationship ended up with a lot of bitternes (at least on my part) I decided to contact her. A year after that she called me on my bday, and left a message. Another time she called me on my cellphone and I picked up the call, told her I would call her later (never did, until a couple weeks ago). It was kinda hard. I called her phone number, no go. Called someone else that knew her, and they told me that they didn't knew what had been of her, other than that her family moved out of state and that she had gotten married. Wow. Finally, on a lucky strike I found her on the directory, but she wasn't living there anymore, but they gave me her cellphone. I got to talk to her, told her I was sorry for not calling her back and I promised to keep in touch. Then I noticed she had at least one kid, and I also think she is divorced or at least separate from her husband, but that is only speculation on my part. She said "you're the friend that I never wanted to lose", for whatever that means. Like two weeks ago I sent her an SMS asking her out for a cup of cofee. She dind't replied until last night. I woke up at 2 am to the noise of my cellphone warning about a message and a missed call. Found a SMS with a german message that I was not able to understand from her. So I texted her back. She said she wanted us to be friends. Replied with a "I can't see why not, lets give it a try". Today she replied with a "let me know when you have time to go out". My current relationship is fine and strong, we managed to get through (my gf was away on a trip for a month and a half), and I'm in love with my gf. But somehow this girl has got me scared to dead! I'm afraid that the strong feelings I had for her back then will come back. I'm also afraid that she has got her life to a not so very good point and that she'll try to make me her savior, I don't want to become her knight in shinning armor. Because of fear #1 I feel extremely vulnerable to #2. 5 years ago, I can't say I was in love with her, but I may have been. Infatuation was strong, so strong I got to the point of overcoming my fears and actually asking her to be my gf. That was too little, too late, she had already made her mind. 5 years ago I knew I had lost, so I walked away to never look back. Now I'm looking back and I fear I never got over that. Somehting inside me tells me that it is wrong to go out with her, another voice tells me it isnt, another one tells me I should and that I should also give myself the chance to finally let the past go. I dunno what to do...
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Well, stick in your mind that she is with you. And also, there is the fact that she already had a chance with him, and she rather be with you.
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I "love"... You've got no idea what you're talking about. Satanism has no place for love... What a nice bunch of posers you found. All you are holding on to is to being accepted by these people, the satanism, blood drinking (can be as dangerous as unprotected sex in the disease aspect), gang and whatever else you do, is just the price for being accepted. Face it, it is not what you want, much less what you love. Your fear of being alone will get you doomed if you dont' learn how to control it, and most important, to accept yourself.
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Well, if we start with the fact that "normal" does not exist, nor is it a concept nor a set of behaviors, then no one can behave normally, as there is no such thing as "normal". It is like defining "mental sanity". Craziness is just to behave differently from the mayority, but no one said it was incorrect. So if there is no such thing as "normal", behave how you want and enjoy.
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Pretty embarrassing, does this happens??
Süsser Tod replied to yeawutever's topic in Friendship and Friends
Yes, I will get sleepy, because those places bore me to dead. At some point I tried to enjoy them more, so I got there, got wasted, and then went home to sleep. Fun? Not really, and the hangover was awfull next day (as most of the time the stuff they serve in there is not the quality it is supposed to be), so I only did that about 4 times in a row. Since then I've went to nightclubs 4 or 5 times, can't recall exactly, not that I really care.