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Iceman26

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Everything posted by Iceman26

  1. Iceman26
    If having her back is what you want, then I say go for it. Take it slow like she suggested, and remember the mistakes you both made, and work on improving your friendship with her. Its easy to get comfortable and lazy in a relationship, just make sure you spice it up every once in a while.
  2. Iceman26
    I would ask her if she wants to talk so much, why doesnt she call her boyfriend? I would ask her that. If she says she wants to be friends, I mean unless you want to be friends with her, I would tell her if she is looking for friends to go join the YMCA.
  3. Iceman26
    Have you ever listened to that song "Whats my age again?" by Blink182? I think it nails what its like to be 23 to a T. I went through the same kinds of things when I was 23, you are making that transition to becoming someone responsible, people are changing in your life, friends and lovers come and go, etc. I was depressed and didnt know where my life was going to go and who was going to be with me on my journey through life, I was unhappy with everything.....my girlfriend at the time, my job, problems in my family, etc. I pulled myself out of the funk I was in, but it took some time, and I am a happier person today. You need to focus on what is, not what isn't. Count your blessings, as my grandmother would call it. Everytime you get down, remind yourself of all the good things that you are, and all the good people you have in your life that love you for who you are. Knowing these things helped me through the dark times of my life. When you concentrate on yourself, and what makes you happy, then love will again find you. First however, you need to love yourself. Honestly, the only one who can really help you is you, all the psychiatrists and psychologists in the world will tell you that. I can sympathize with your rough year, this is the worst year I can remember having in a long time.....but you know what? 2005 is right around the corner. You need to find those changes that need to be made and change them so you will be happy again. I wish you the best of luck.
  4. Iceman26
    No problem man, you are welcome. Just keep in mind that most girls like a guy who is confident, and talking with her will only make more of an impression of you with her.
  5. Iceman26
    You have the right idea. If I were you, I would talk with her first and if you want to email her, ask her for her email address directly. Thats the best way to go about it in my opinion.
  6. Iceman26
    I agree with you on that one, her actions aren't matching up. Her excuse was that I had been gone from her life for 3 weeks and she had gotten used to life without me, and that the first person to make contact was her, etc. Your Sex and the City comment made me laugh, that makes a lot of sense to me. She owns those DVD's, every season that has come out thus far anyways. She always asked for me to buy them for her as birthday or x-mas gifts, but I told her I wasnt going to contribute money to those kinds of shows. You think she honestly likes me Cecelius? I personally dont see how a person can say they like someone and treat another person in such a manner. I find it much more likely that she thought she could keep me on the backburner in case things with a new guy (I know its irrelevant if she is dating someone else, but I could draw no other conclusion as to her chain of thought) dont work out and she would think she has me to fall back on. One other conclusion I have drawn on is that I could count the number of friends she has on one hand, so I can pretty much figure out what she is doing. LOL I once thought I would never hear the words "hot and nice" used in the same sentence to describe a woman, but I agree; I can do better. I bother because I like to know why people do things the way they do, especially how she could do a complete 180 in a months time after broaching the subject of marriage to me.
  7. Iceman26
    I think time away from him and the situation will help you see the that the way he is treating you is not the way you treat a loved one.In a couple of weeks you will look back on the situation and think "Why would I want this guy back anyways?" Make sure to take some time for yourself to grieve, and then spend time with people who will make you happy and that you can have a good time with, and eventually you will get a fresh start with someone who will treat you right.
  8. Iceman26
    I am curious as to what you mean by this comment Cecelius. What isn't a b/f-g/f kind of thing? I completely agree with what you are all saying. How someone could say "I dont know if I want to see other people" is pretty lame. You either do or do not want to see other people, it seems like a cop out to me.
  9. Iceman26
    Well if you feel comfortable dating again, then do it.
  10. Iceman26
    Sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. You can either stop hanging out with these people, or simply tell them you aren't going to be around if your ex is there. If they are your friends, then they will respect that and hang out with you separately. If they start talking about her, change the subject. If they dont get the hint, you can either tell them that when they talk about her it bothers you, or you can leave. Who cares if your ex is doing better or not? Why would you care about someone who dislikes and cant be civil around you anyways? You have moved on to someone better, right?
  11. Iceman26
    Wanderer has a good point. Your friends will hopefully have your best interests at heart, and hopefully wont let guys take advantage of you.
  12. Iceman26
    I sympathize with you for what you are going through, I myself used to find some sort of self validation through sex. I didnt think anyone would ever love me for who I really am, so all I would really do is have meaningless physical encounters that staved off the loneliness for a while longer. Well, first off, just about every guy who is 19 leaves after he blows his load. For most 19 year old guys away at college, thats just how it is. Your therapist is right. You couldnt possibly be happy with yourself. If you loved yourself, you wouldnt let those guys treat you that way. It sounds like you have little to no self worth. You need to get that back. If loneliness is your problem, make some more friends. Join a club, get involved in a social setting that will get you around good people. If you are the wonderful person you say you are, then you will make friends in no time. If a guy truly likes you, then he wont mind waiting a bit for the sex. Just be patient, it will happen. If you continue to force it, well, you see how that is going for you. Oh, and be careful at those college parties or you may wind up in a Girls Gone Wild video.
  13. Iceman26
    Give him one more chance to be home to pick up your stuff, and then call the police to see how you go about getting your stuff back. Life is too short to deal with wishy washy people.
  14. Iceman26
    Ok, well last week my "ex" heard that I was sick and emailed me to ask me if I was ok. She had heard from co-workers that I was under the weather, and wanted to make sure that I was ok. So we got to talking, and she told me she never called me because she was pissed off and insulted that I would suggest that she cheated. Here were her responses, word for word, to what I and other people have posted and pointed out You did assume too much, I was insulted and angry and needed time to think. I went out because I needed to be somewhere other than my parents house. (Sidenote, this is where she was the Saturday night I came by to deliver the letter again). You should know how I am that even after one drink I will not drive. 1. I left it (her car)in a safe monitored place. 2. No he did not drink. (He, the friend she went out with) 3. I can't give directions, nor would I have tried anyways I had it taken care of. 4. In the message you left you did ask me to call you and I would have. 5. I have known him since I was 12, when I said I wasn't ok to drive it's because of how I feel about even ONE drink not being a point of being able to drive. Comfortable or not I had a drink with a friend, made a smart choice not to drive afterwards and took care of the arrangements on my transportation home and where my car would be safe until the next day. Situations reversed? I would have asked, not assumed. Ok now this is Iceman back. We met up for breakfast, and she told me that we were definetly not together, but that we could see each other again. I then asked her if she wanted to see anybody else, and she said "I dont know". A couple of days later when I asked about seeing her, she told me that things were weird between us and she didn't know what she wanted to do, and she would let me know. So I will wait to hear from her. What do you think about this? Do you guys/girls think she is seeing someone else? If she is seeing someone else and was over everything, why would she meet up with me? What do you think she is thinking? Was I totally wrong in my accusations as she points out, or was I justified by the weird behavior? Thanks for reading.
  15. Iceman26
    I agree, suggest the blocking his email address, and if he persists, get a restraining order. I wouldn't do anything to him. Unless your significant other is your wife, I would let her handle it and offer her your support.
  16. Iceman26
    Have you tried asking her why she is angry with you? Or have one of your friends who hangs out with her ask her? Just worry about yourself man. I know how hard it is when you love someone and can see them doing better, and they cant see it for themselves. As frustrating as it may be, you have to move on. On the other hand.........If you think she is a bad person, then why do you want to help her? Isn't she getting what she deserves then?
  17. Iceman26
    You made a smart move by dropping this girl. Find someone with some class. As far as what she told you about her past sex life: The past is the past, leave it there. I personally would rather not know the details of a girl's past that I am dating. As long as she gets screened for STD's regularly, thats all I am really concerned with.
  18. Iceman26
    I am about as far from marriage as I can be, but I thought I would share my thought with you because you seem like a good person with an intelligent post. You are too young to get married. In fact, I would go as far as saying that you are too young to have a serious boyfriend, you should be out having good times and experiencing life. I am not trying to be mean, but you still have a lot of things to experience, goals and dreams to achieve and even trying to find a stable career takes most people until they are about 30. If I were in your position I would tell your bf that you need more time to experience life and become more established in life before you make a life long commitment like that. Work on yourself first, since it seems you have many doubts about yourself, and you may fine that your negative views of marriage have changed.
  19. Iceman26
    Oh man, I saw this post and had to chime in on this one. My ex girlfriend would start arguments with me all the time over email and text messages. I think using email to argue is a cowards way out, so they dont have to see you face to face or hear your tone of voice. There is also a huge amount of room for misinterpretation in the written word. I dont see a problem with having a nice conversation through email at work, but arguing? Hell no. I think if people are too mad to speak they should cool off and talk when they have calmed down. Its what people did before the age of computers and cell phones. Emails can also be shown to other people, the same as a letter or a text message. I can't count the number of times I have been at work and seen guy/girls show their work friends arguments that they are having with their significant other over email.
  20. Iceman26
    Yeah I think he is using you. He is probably thinking "Why buy the cow if I get the milk for free?"
  21. Iceman26
    I personally never date girls who talk to their ex boyfriends. Period. She should only be talking to him to get her debt to him paid off. Anything more than that is grounds for termination of the relationship, at least in my opinion. I would tell her that if she wants boobs, to buy them herself. I would also tell her to quit talking to her ex, or you are out of there. I would see what she has to say to that, and go from there.
  22. Iceman26
    I think from her original post, enough has already happened. She cheated on her boyfriend and is having her cake and eating it too. You know, from a guys perspective here, I doubt most guys wouldnt be that upset if a girl cheated on them and told them. For me, I'd be like "Hey you cheated, thanks for admitting it, have a nice life" and that would be the end of it. Cheating and not telling? Oh man. At that point, you are wasting the other persons time, leading them on in a farce of a relationship and not to mention taking a risk with their life by fooling around with other guys in this day and age of rampant STD's.
  23. Iceman26
    I agree with you to a certain extent. Our own wants and needs are what drive us in any relationship, be it friendship, intimacy, security, commitment, etc, and to a greater or lesser extent, those wants and needs subconsciously fuel our drive in any form of a relationship.
  24. Iceman26
    No, this is something that will not pass. He cheated on you, and that should have been your first clue with what this guy is about. Its fine for him to hang out with girls alone, but you cant hang out with guys? What a joke. I think your feelings have been weakened because you are seeing him for who he really is, and I think you are starting to realize that he is not the one for you. I think your heart has the right instinct with this one. Dump him and move on to someone who will value you. You want to find someone who will want to be equal with you, not someone who treats you as a person that is there at his leisure. Always remember that you cannot change someone, people can only change themselves.
  25. Iceman26
    I am with you on that one Cecelius.
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