Iceman26

Not at all, I think he may be doing just that. The only way you will really be able to tell is when he comes home for christmas and you are around him in person. That will tell you more.

Dude, tell her what we talked about earlier in this post.

I agree wholeheartedly with Cecelius.

Me too bro! I told my girlfriend I would watch "Sex and the City" if she would watch the movies "Swingers" and "Late Last Night". She gave me a cold look and declined. You know, when I found out my girlfriend watched Sex and the City religiously, I was disappointed that she would waste time watching that crap.

I absolutely think you can overcome this, but I think you need to gently confront him on the small lies he has been telling, and perhaps ask him why he feels the need to lie. It might actually make him feel better, and it will definetly get the subject off of your mind. It sounds like you know what mistakes you have been making, when you argue with him when he tells you things. What is it about what he is telling you creates an argument?

I remember my first girlfriend, 13 years ago. There was a girl in my class in junior high that I liked, and she sat facing me on the other side of the room, and I would look at her all the time. The girl next to her thought I was looking at her, and she asked me out.......she was cute, so I said yes. I still laugh to this day just thinking about the fact that she never knew I was looking at the girl sitting next to her! Dating her helped me get over my shyness, because she wasn't shy and it helped bring me out of my shell.

Go for it dude.

I would ask her out in person perhaps, but I wouldnt ever leave a note on someones car again were I you.

Try to let out a fart before you try to pee, and immediately giggle afterwards. Thats a good tension breaker and you will feel better.

Dont get me wrong Sweetharmony, I think its cool that women are doing well for themselves in the workplace and I do not think less of them, I think its great that the opportunites for women are rising. I am however, stating my opinions on divorce today based on the statistics of divorce 30 years ago. I know an increase of women working is not the sole cause of divorce trends, but I know that it is one of them. For me, if it was me working, both me and my spouse (if that ever happens) or simply my spouse in the workplace, I would be fine with any of them. The gender role issue I am stating on opinion solely on my experiences and through talking with others. I agree that I think men respect the lessening of the financial burden as well.

Move on dude, life will get better, I promise.

Anytime twiggs, you are welcome. Keep us posted if anything else happens.

I think the better question to ask is why would you even care about someone who values being with someone else more than being with you? Seriously, if she is that selfish and shallow, why would you want to be with her? She flat out told you that you are only second best to her! What you need to do is drop this chick like a bad habit and never talk to her again. I get the feeling like what you are going to do is sit around and keep taking this abuse.

If you want some help, you can do three things. Tell her to leave you alone until she figures out which of her personalities is in charge, or you can drop her and find a stable one, or you can be her friend and watch her with other guys.

Then you know what to do man, ask her about it and end the wondering.

Lil R and HowtoCope are right on the money. If you are sick, you can still do phone sex (if you are feeling up to it that is) As long as he is satisfying your needs and he is making you happy, who cares if he is snapping the carrot to a magazine? Its better that he do it to that versus a porno or with another girl, you know?

You have to keep in mind that men in general are very visual. It is harder for guys to close their eyes and get off to a picture in our head of our girlfriends. I personally did the same thing when my ex girlfriend wasnt giving me enough action, but thats me. Nothing against her, but if I am not getting any, I need to look at SOMETHING. Does he pay enough attention to you? Do you pay enough attention to him? You shouldnt get implants because of what chicks in the magazines have, you should get them because you want them. It sounds like he likes you the way you are and doesnt want you to change, thats why he probably doesnt want you to get implants.

What kind of rumors were they? Could it be that your mom is simply worried about you due to what she has heard about this girl? You need to remind your mom that she needs to care about what makes you happy, and to give this girl a chance.

I agree with Sweetharmony that couples should get counseling before they get married. If you look at trends in divorce rates rising, its because many mothers are working more than they were 30 years ago. Statistically, there is a decline in the clearly defined roles in the house anymore, (i.e. Mom used to be at home working, cooking and cleaning, and Dad out working at the office) and now both are away at the office working. In additions, gender lines have been crossed as well. My grandfather says a man used to be a man, and a woman used to be a woman. Today, a lot of men are acting like women, getting their hair done, going to tanning booths, and getting manicures. Men 30 years ago would have found that weird. Women act more like men today, they act and talk like men, yet still expect to be treated like ladies. Keep in mind I am not saying all women or all men are like this, but I dont think behaviors of this nature are necessarily generating a great deal of respect for either of the sexes. I am all for women having equal rights, but when two people are in the workplace in the world of today, the chances for both spouses having affairs are higher, children grow up with their parents not being around as much, which causes problems with the children that lead to conflict in the marriage, etc. I would also go as far as to say that TV and movies give people a very different view of marriage than what marriage actually is. I think the qualities you should look for in a partner are (not necessarily in order) a best friend, a lover, a business partner, and a strong role model (if you want to have kids). Anyways, this is just the Iceman's ramblings on the world of marriage today.

I think the question you have to ask yourself is what will you really lose by asking her why she broke up with you. If she gets angry or upset about it, then that type of reaction isn't something you would even really want of a friend. By asking her you will know where you stand with her and what happened in your relationship that caused the break up.

Its hasnt been as hard for me as it was in the beginning. I think the "not knowing" what really happened of it hurt more than anything else. I take a look at her saying "I need time to figure things out" and translate it into "I am seeing someone else right now, and if things aren't going anywhere in the next couple of weeks with this new guy, then I will give you a call" Realistically, there is nothing to "figure out". You either want to be with someone, or you dont.

Yeah ask her why she is calling, if she has a new boyfriend, then why the hell is she bothering you? If you want to tell her how you feel about it, then do so. Like I said before, you have nothing to lose. Yeah I am sure it just "worked out" that way that this new relationship came along 4 days after you guys broke up. What a joke. Tell me you didnt believe it "just happened". Great new relationship she is having too, calling you all the time while she is dating some other dude. Tell her you are doing fine, but that you dont think its right that she calls you while she is dating someone else. Tell her if she loses the boyfriend to give you a call if thats what you want, but she isn't doing you any favors calling you with another guy in her life. I dont know why she is still calling you, why dont you ask her when she calls again?

Anything for a fellow Southern Californian!

Have you asked her what she likes and what shes into, sexually? Ask about her fantasies, and tell her what yours are. Ask her things like if she could have sex anywhere, where would it be? Or ask her what is something she has always wanted to try (like a certain position or something kinky) she will more than likely ask you the same kinds of things, and you will go from there.

There you go man, make it happen. You'll feel better and less confused when you bring up the new boyfriend and ask her why she is even calling if she already has a new person to talk with. She made her bed, and she should lie in it too. This is chess, it isnt checkers. Put your cards on the table, you know? Just be brutally honest, its not like you have anything to lose at this point, I mean she is already dating somebody else, so who cares? You also have to wonder if she was calling the guy before you while you were dating her, you know?