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bleeder

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Everything posted by bleeder

  1. bleeder
    Hi Kurodashi, I empathise with what how you feel, and most of all, I can relate to your thoughts. It is normal to be disillusioned with the opposite sex especially after a bad or a failed relationship. It is imperative you understand that you are feeling this way because of one man. Sometimes, we can be too quick to assume that nearly everyone is untrue, just because of our experience with one or two bad apples. As funny as it may seem, I am very certain that there are folks out there who believe in the truth, commitment and fidelity. White lies is something I never advocate either. A lie is still a lie, even if veiled with good intentions. So, give yourself time to heal and to come to terms with your emotional state. If you do meet someone promising, be patient and know that time is always the best yardstick when it comes to relationships. Take care!
  2. bleeder
    Hi there, It sounds like you are wading in murky waters. It would be best to discuss this issue with him on where you guys stand. Sometimes it is hard to draw certain lines in relationships. But in your case, it would be wiser to talk about it before some serious misunderstandings occur. Cheers.
  3. bleeder
    I am glad to hear that Jaela. It is important that you find your own two feet first, before undertaking any relationships. We cannot love others well if we don't love ourselves first. You have my blessings surely, and please do keep us posted.
  4. bleeder
    Hi Jaela, My advice would be to tell him about your current marital status as early as possible in the relationship. Why? It would save you from lots of misunderstandings in the future, e.g. him blaming you for hiding the truth. It is also to safeguard yourself from any further heartbreaks if he is unable to accept you for some reason. Personally, I think that if someone truly loves you for what you are, being separated or divorce is almost a non-issue. In the end, it all depends on how deeply he is in love with you, and if he has any hard and fast rules about dating women who are divorced/separated. Bear in mind that people who are separated/divorced have a very different view and criteria when it comes to relationships. In a way, they see things in a better perspective and they also understand which particular pitfalls to avoid. For you, it will be good to have a talk with him and see where your directions are. If marriage is his ultimate goal, would you be able to find the courage to go through those rites again? Or are you just comfortable to be in a relationship, without having marriage in the works? These are some of the issues you'd have to tackle. Hope that I have helped.
  5. bleeder
    I am a male, but I feel a need to respond to this anyway. I think wearing sleeveless shirts indicates a lack of respect for your date, as well as oneself. It is rather inappropriate in any circumstance, unless digging a foxhole is part of itenary on the date. My verdict? No go. Even a T shirt is much more decent than a sleeveless shirt. Cheerios!
  6. bleeder
    The problem with the idea of a "mess around buddy" is that you'd be the one who gets messed up in the end. I do agree with the rest of the advice given here. Forget him. I think that you are worth so much more than to have sexual relations with a guy who obviously doesn't care. Consider the risks involved. What if you really do get pregnant? I am sure that a guy like that would be the first one to scoot off. Play it smart. Look for someone who's serious about you, and you'd both end up in a win-win situation.
  7. bleeder
    I think this guy either needs a lesson or two in social etiquette, or he totally lacks any sense of chivalry, to say the least. Call me an old fashioned dude, but I still believe that guys should cover the tab when it comes to dating. Whether you are drawn to your date or not, that is an entirely different matter. The fact that he didn't even bother to walk you to the station shows his level of concern. If I were you, I'd drop him. Don't waste your time with someone whose behaviour you are not comfortable with.
  8. bleeder
    Hi Princess81, I understand your situation. It is wrong of your ex husband to leverage on your daughter to get back against you. It is morally wrong and inhumane. He seems inept at handling your daughter too. Letting her play at the wheel while he sleeps is dangerous. As a father myself, I cannot imagine how he can bring himself to such folly. On top of that, having a 2 year old witness any third parties on either side is going to be traumatic, one little fact which he doesn't seem to care about. What you can do is to fight for full custody of your daughter. Not only will your daughter be better off with you, at least you can be sure that she won't come to any harm under his "care". Children are a blessing. If he chooses to use her as a weapon, he will ultimately destroy the child, emotionally and psychologically. Be strong and take your stand.
  9. bleeder
    Dear ConfusedGrl23, I understand your concerns. What is important for now is that you put that episode of sex behind you, and work towards strengthening your relationship with him. We cannot undo what we have done, the best you can do now is to work towards your own future and his. If the topic of the love-making session ever emerges, let him know that it was done in a moment's folly, but let him know that you do cherish it. Do remind him that you are not an "easy" girl, and you did it out of your affections for him, nothing else otherwise. If he cherishes you the same way as much as you do for him, I am positive that your relationship would work out fine. Be optimistic. Everything else would fall in place.
  10. bleeder
    Another senseless act of violence, another act of cowardice. Something needs to be done to stop these madmen. Not only are they crazy, their religious devotion are totally warped and misplaced. My sympathies and thoughts are with the victims.
  11. bleeder
    I understand how you feel QTpie. The trouble with most people these days is that they hardly listen enough. Everyone is keen to impress unto others their thoughts, giving very little consideration or understanding of what others might be saying, or trying to say. It is a very good sign that you recognise your faults and it is an even better sign that you are seeking changes. Here are some personal tips I can offer you : 1. Count to ten before saying anything that comes to your mind. Take that time to process the thought if it is worthwhile to be mentioned. 2. Learn to let the other person finish the sentence or dialogue before jumping in. We never like people cutting us off do we? Try to listen with understanding, not just plain listening. 3. For those whose company you dislike or are uncomfortable with, let them do the talking. Remember, we are NOT obliged to give out personal and delicate info about ourselves. So if you are not cool with it, give them vague answers if need be. All in all, learn the art of patience and keep in mind that there must be a reason why we have two ears and only one mouth. Be well!
  12. bleeder
    Hi Minty, RayKay gave some rather sound advice there. To add on, I want to stress that although LDRs are tough, it is not impossible to achieve. Many people have the idea that partners would start to stray once abroad. With the new independence found, it would just be too tempting for them to stay faithful in any manner. There may be some truth in it, but I for one, still believe in the commitment level of the two people involved. Love is ultimately a decision. It is not based on flimsy emotions or distance. If two parties are strong enough to make the effort to make it work, I am sure that it will overcome the distance barrier. Sure, we will miss our other halves when they are gone, but if we can stay focused on the fruits of a relationship, perhaps that distance would be the best test of a relationship. If someone strays whilst they are abroad, isn't it a blessing in disguise in the end? At least we know that they WILL stray, whether they are two feet away from you, or two thousand miles away. This is just my personal input. I hope that you will be strong enough to see it through, for I'd hate to see a beautiful relationship such as yours be wrecked by an unseen enemy. Keep us posted.
  13. bleeder

    Butterflys

    bleeder replied to QTpie87's topic in Dating Advice

    Hi, You could be trying too hard to make an impression on him, which could very well be giving you the jitters. When you talk to him, either on the phone or face to face, keep in mind that you are starting out as friends first. So, keep it light and casual, and let the words flow. Don't ponder too much on what or what not to say. Your subconscience would take care of that. Be yourself and relax a little. One more tip, you may like to ask him open ended questions so that he does more of the talking. Hope this helps.
  14. bleeder
    I am not sure if it is his way of playing hard to get, but there could be more than meets the eye here. Did he contact you again so far? It would be good to get to the bottom of it before ending it totally. See if he has his reasons. Most guys tend to clam up totally when certain issues are affecting them. Keep us posted.
  15. bleeder
    I think there is a slight difference between enjoying a cigarette versus smoking because one is just plainly addicted. I for one, do enjoy smoking. It is tough to give up both ways, but the true motivator comes in when you are doing it for the one you love or there is a good goal ahead of you. Whichever method you engage for quitting, willpower is the bottom line to winning. Be it "cold turkey" or a gradual cut down on the number of sticks you have per day.
  16. bleeder
    I would not term this as abuse, but some form of mental instability on his side perhaps? People with low self esteem sees a need to impose themselves on others in some form or another. What you can do is to be firm, stand your ground. He needs to butt out if things get out of hand. To some, give them an inch and they would want a mile in return. So, play it wise.
  17. bleeder
    Hi BakerAvenue, Heard of the saying "there are none so blind as to those who would not see"? Well, I think it applies to your female friend for the moment. Pardon me if I am a tad harsh with my words, but I like to say it as it is. Firstly, I am quite sure that she is choosing her ex over you based on feelings cultivated in the past, and not so much on the present. Secondly, I am also certain that he is facing a rebound, and as with most rebounds, it fizzles out in no time. You have two options now. One, wait for her to change her mind and start from ground zero again. To that, I think it is unwise. Obviously she is not too stable in her thoughts and direction. Two, break away from her totally and find yourself again. I am sure that you will meet a better person in future. Someone who's clear about where she is heading at least. I hope this helps.
  18. bleeder
    Very good advice given so far. The main tool you need when interacting with people online is cautiousness. Do not give away too much, and take everything you hear with a pinch of salt. Beautiful relationships can form up if both parties are sincere, then again, there are always those who choose to hide behind a mask and defile the whole relationship with falsehood. Time, is the best measure of a person's intergrity. Have fun, but do keep your eyes open...
  19. bleeder
    Hi AdeliaXO, Thoughts of suicide occurs when the balance of pain and our coping resources are tipped the wrong way. It is nearly impossible to reduce another person's pain, but we can do our best to increase their threshold for coping with it. Spend some quiet moments with her over the phone and see if you can get to the root of the problem. Ask her open ended questions like, what are your thoughts, or what is the one thing that you cannot face right now? Most of the time, people who contemplate suicide do not have a clear idea of what's really troubling them and everything happens in a blur of consciousness. Be patient with her and remind her that there is a solution for everything. Fill her mind with positive things and do encourage her to do something else to occupy her time. Excercise, pick up a hobby etc. It's only when the mind is left idling for too long that undesirable thoughts start to negate the senses. Keep us posted.
  20. bleeder
    Well said Sisterlynch. We are all adults and are supposed to be equipped with a good dose of common sense. To tease and then proceed to leave, is a sure fire sign of manipulation and nothing more. I do not think that the guy was wrong to be angry. Just my 2 cents.
  21. bleeder
    Hi Prosper, we are from the same country and it's nice to see ya here. Back to the topic, it is shocking, sad and strange that so many lives were lost in one brief moment. I guess words can hardly describe the anguish and pain of the loved ones they have left behind. My mind is still reeling from the numbers shown in the death toll. Let's all save a prayer for them.
  22. bleeder
    I feel that different people respond differently sexually. So, go with your instincts instead. Whichever "bases" that might work with one might not go with another. Cheers.
  23. bleeder

    reasons

    bleeder replied to nosoul's topic in Dating Advice

    When the relationship brings more unhappiness than joy.
  24. bleeder
    Well said peeps. To add on, although most girls do like a sense of mystery, it does help if guys can reassure them that they are being serious too. You need not get down on your knees with arms flailing and a rose between teeth to prove that point. To be constant, is the key. In some ways, absense really does make the heart grow fonder. So do ensure that you give her space as well as time to miss you. Smothering her all the time is not the way to go. My 2 pence. Cheers all. \ Bleeder
  25. bleeder
    Lol. They are gonna have Heat Seeking Condoms next. Or Egg Avoiding Condoms too. The kind of the things they can conjure these days... *shakes head
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