Kurodashi

I think the best way to kiss is to loose your inibitions and just let go. One of the best kisses Ive had was kissing and licking all over the face. Sounds terribly disgusting and embarrassing on reflection, but at the time it was so intimate and passionate it was beautiful. However I have to agree with everyone else here, brush your teeth o_o; You couldnt pay me to kiss an unbrushed mouth. Yuck. I think Tongues usually a turn off too, unless your roll your tongue around in circles together. its nice like that. But straight down the hatch is a cheap kiss and I hate it. Sucking on the bottom lip is the winner.

I agree with you to a point Jinx. I do this NC apart does help things get smoother. Problem is, it already is alot smoother than it was. If you consider its been almost 10 months since we broke up, and 2 of those months we weren't even talking. I dont care for him as more than a friend, in fact I feel weird even thinking about him in that way. But you're right, yeah. This is like acquaitances. It's disappointing because before we dated we were great friends too. I guess if I was wiser I would have said no to dating him, but you cant read the future hey. As for the party, I decided to not invite him originally and it started more arguments, I just feel like I cant win. Maybe Il run NC past him. Im pretty sure if he knows itl help resolve things hell do it. To give him some credit, he is quite willing to work these issues out. As for councilling, its paid for buy the government here because we have medicare. So that shouldnt be an issue.

Love is an overjoying abundant feeling. Pure serenity and happiness. Admiration and respect. True and sincere. It is blind, it sees past faults and troubles. It holds out through the storm. And you can find love in so many places. Many times over.

Thanks for the advice DN Its extrememly hard to not give him guilt trips and remind him of the past all the time, simply because I have my friends and family telling me how horrible he is all the time. *sigh* It isnt fair, Il be the first to admit that. He can dislike my friends though, I just dont see the need to abuse them like that. he doesnt even know them... I have a feeling he might want to be more than a friend one day. Maybe hes only being my friend because he has an alterior motive. But its sincerly in my interest to be friends with him. I would not date a cheater. And I honestly doubt he could change that about himself.

Well one thing is for certain, she cheated on her ex. Regardless of the situation, faithfull people just dont do that. There is, in that case, absolutly no reason she wouldnt do that to you either. Hopefully she didnt, but what Im saying i its only vary rarely that a cheater changes that aspect of their mentality. I suggest you use the "break" as a chance to meet other girls. I know you love her, but as you said, its not a perfect world. You need to try your best to move on and find someone who is just as devoted and loving as you are in return. She may need a break yes, but spending her time with her friends rather than you is cause for concern. It shows you're not her first priority and furthermore, that she doesnt enjoy your company as much as her friends. You can't spend your life hanging around waiting for her any time she beckons. That is a breeding ground for manipulation and abuse. You dont want her to take your love and affection for granted. So do exactly what she is doing with the break, move on, as best you can. Spend more time with your friends, find distractions and try your best to not think about her so much. If she is "too busy" for a relationship then that says alot about how much it meant to her to begin with.

I can't stop arguing with my ex. Now I was at first a little reluctant to make a post about this, as I just assume most of the replies will be "No contact!". I've already made the decision that I want to be friends with him. So Il just make it clear now that Id like advice with how to deal with these arguments. Quick recap of things: - 1 month into the relat he had a one night stand. I thought it was just kissing. Forgave him. - 1 year after this I found out about it and broke up with him. - 6 months later, after becoming good friends again and dealing with it (but not being his gf!! lets get that clear.) I found out he had bragged about the girl he slept with because she was hot, in a chat log. -I got distraught so I left the state and cut him off trying for No Contact. - About 2 months later, when I got to my desination in the desert, I missed him like mad and broke NC. - We both organised that when I got back home we would see a couciler and make our friendship work again. Now I know hes a jerk, dont get me wrong. But as a friend he was fine. The only issue we had was infedelity and him lying about other girls. Apart from that he was completely open and honest with me more than anyone else. We've both come to understand our situation, and he accepts that I dont trust him. He told me he is more than willing to work on the trust issues. Now almost everytime we talk well argue, then hell *nsinuate* its all my fault. He doesnt directly say it because he's passive aggressive. Like today for example, he called all my friends "judgemental a**holes" because they didnt like him (and they dont like him because he cheated on me!). I stood up for my friends, and we argued. Then he made it out like it was my fault. Do you think counciling is a good idea or should we stop talking so often and leave it at aquaitances? In general we have good times together and enjoy each others company, just now and then we but heads because theres no trust there, and hes always got his guard up, thinking Im attacking him. I also have my birthday coming up soon, and if I invite him my other friends wont have fun. But if I dont invite him itll be a real blow and really hurt him. I really dont know what to do about these arguments and how to overcome our differences. One last thing - can anyone recomend some good books that might help? Thanks for reading all this!

No I wouldn't. No way. Sex in first three dates in my opinion makes the relationship doomed to begin with. Its based on sex, and as we all know, sex doesnt heal everything. Id rather have a relationship with a person who had no sexual organs, thanks. At least Id know it was love and not lust.

DN hit the nail on the head. Emotional cheating, at the least. There is absolutly no way Id stay with someone like that. If he didnt cheat then, he may in the future. He definatly has cheating capabilities. It's shown by the fact that he put her before you. And thats EXACTLY what he did. Its NOT on, I dont care if you love him enough to die for him, either way you shouldnt have to put up with that treatement under *any* circumstance. If you think its absolutly impossible to leave him, try councilling. Theres absolutly no way youre going to come out of this a stronger couple if you dont at least seek a professionals help. In my personal opinion I feel this guy is a real jerk, and you definatly diserve better. It'll probably take you another year of heartache to believe it though *sighs* I didnt listen to the advice I was given on this forum initially either. Now I know what people told me was right. I urge you to please consider breaking up with this guy. He obviously doesnt care about you more than his friends, which he SHOULD. Snobbing you off for friends, male or female, is down right rude. Hes treating you like some thing on the side, when he should be treating you like the apple of his eye, yknow? Find someone who really loves you. Not just a sweet talker who tells you what you want to hear, but has absolutly no actions to back it up.

I read in a magazine once that is quite common for women in their 20s to loose their libido and sex drive. But as far as I can remember, the article also said there were simple medications to ease this problem. I think it has something to do with an inbalance of hormones. But as I said, thats just some magazine I read, Im no expert. but Im still throwing in my two cents

Ahhh dude. I wouldn't suggest that. Bad karma you know? >_>

If he doesn't appreciate you "enough" then is it even worth giving him the run around? Honestly, I know people on this forum throw around "no contact" very loosly, and in alot of circumstances the cure might just as well be to COMMUNICATE. If you want attention and for him to be gratefull, talk to him about it. You go with no contact, itll ruin everything. You may not think its games, but it is. You snob him off, hell think you dont care about him, when you come back it might be the same but he wont respect you as much for ditching him. It works two ways, how would you feel if he did that to you?

If I was dating someone at the time, Id tell them flat out I was taken and not give them a number. If I was single, I'd give them my real number. Why? Because chatting to someone in a nightclub isn't exactly a fair judge of what theyre really like. Not to mention, they rarely ever call once theyve sobered up anyway. However, if they were being rude, sexist and nasty, Id just tell them no and walk away.

You need to work on both your confidense and your self esteem. I suggest meditation, self-help books or councilling works best for this. I know how it feels to be in that situation, it's not fun, and it directly falls that way because of two things. You expect your boyfriend to act a certain way (in this case, the way he was when you first dated). You dont think you're worthy of real love. I know its a harsh thing to say, but please think about it. You said yourself you couldnt believe your luck with him. He may be amazing, but why do you think you diserve any less? You don't like yourself all that much do you? A wise person once said that you can't expect anyone else to love you if you dont first love yourself. Work on finding love in yourself, and building your confidense, and soon you will KNOW why he should love you, rather than expecting him not to care because you dont see why he or his friends should. Im sure you're a wonderfull person, and I urge you to find help from the three techniques I mentioned. If not just for this relationship, but for the rest of your life. Self esteem and love of yourself is paramount, and its one of the most important things youll ever learn.

Man, you probably don't want to hear this. Its ONLY my opinion. But sex based relationships tend to go nowhere. If the first day you see someone, youre having sex with them, you cant expect them to take you seriously as a great boyfriend or husband to be. It's sex. Period. I've known girls like this all my life. It sounds to me that while she had a great time with you, and you had great sex together, beyond that you're probably not her perfect match mentally and romantically. If she picks up that fast, and progresses to third base that fast with a guy, whos to say she wasnt doing it with many other guys? Why would that make you any different from them? Chances are she probably found someone else, or was too busy with someone else. Call me ignorant, but people you meet at nightclubs dont tend to be perfect girlfriend and boyfriend material. Blah.. I hope I dont get flamed for saying that. Its just my dumb opinion okay?! >_

I never said praise her. I said show her that you care and understand. It's called being a friend. I dont know any girls that have been cheated on that have moved on in 3 months and jumped into someone elses arms straight away. It takes time to learn to trust again, and if this girl is really worth it to him - I think he should be there for her and be patient. Be a friend, try some empathy. Its not an easy thing to go through. She never did anything to diserve no contact or anything like that. It might be in his best interest if hes very hung up on her, yes. However it seems shes been nothing but up front with him. It seems obvious to me she just needs time to get over him and learn to trust again. Id even go as far to say any dating under 3 months of breaking up is a rebound anyway. It's quite possible she has this guys best interests at heart. That being said, you dont go around treating others like dirt because they wont date you. Thats just childish. So just to re-itterate my point: try to understand her perspective and be a friend for her. If you really care as much as you believe, this should be easy.