Tinkerbell
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Hey there, If your profile is indeed correct and you're 12 years of age I would suggest that you try to leave your parents' financial problems for them to worry about, afterall, it is their responsibility. Suicide certainly isn't the answer to your problems, and as for running away, that's going to cause quite a bit of conflict in your family. When you're having problems at home or your parents are getting on your nerves, why not go and spend some time at a friend's house, or a relative whom you get along well with? Once things have cooled down a bit you can return, but try not to do this too often, it's best to confront them with your feelings rather than try to escape them.
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Hey there, I don't think that a person can be successful when it comes to stopping their feelings; it's just something that we cannot help. However, you've already done the one thing I would've suggested: spend less time with her, or "ignore" her as you put it. I don't think literally ignoring her is the best way to go about things because no contact will most probably cause you to miss her which will bring about more feelings, but rather make sure that when you DO see her you remind yourself that she's just a friend and that's the way you want it to be for the moment.
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You're right about this definitely not being a good time to approach her with your feelings; she's extremely vulnerable right now due to the break-up. Starting off as friends sounds like a brilliant idea, that way you can help her through this rough time as well as become closer to her and discover whether or not she's the same person and if dating her is still appealing. Why not just call her up and ask her to go out for a coffee or something (pick a location where the two of you can actually talk, so a movie theatre should be out of the question) and make sure not to come off too strong. Just show her that you're genuinely concerned, not just pretending to care in order to get into her pants (it's unbelievable how many guys try to pull that one off). I wouldn't suggest flirting with her, at least not right away, because at this point she's probably not very interested in having a guy fawn over her.
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Is this any good?
Tinkerbell replied to myplague234's topic in Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics
Bravo! =D> It's great that people are able to express themselves through writing. -
Well, even if you were having sex because you're on the pill your chances of pregnancy are pretty slim; but since the both of you are keeping your clothes on there's absolutely no need to ask him to wear a condom..I imagine he'd think you'd gone a little bit silly.
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If your profile is correct and you are 14 and so is this "Petrey" than I think it is definitely too early to tell whether or not he's a homosexual. Teenaged years are the experience years, so only time will tell his sexual preference. As for the whole bed thing, I don't see how that fits in with him might being gay, perhaps he has a case of obsessive compulsive disorder, or he just may be a regular perfectionist.
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As for whether or not it's real abuse, I cannot say for sure since you haven't given any specific examples of things he often says. Concerning what you should do, you must do whatever you think will make you happy. By the sound of it you're not happy with this man, and your daughter will surely understand later on that the reason her mother and father don't live under the same roof is because that there were too many conflicts and too much pain inflicted. Even if the two of you are separated I doubt she'll love him any less, sure she probably won't see him as much but in due time she will know what you did was for the best. It is not the time to be selfless when your well-being is at stake. Take care, ~Tink
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I hate to break it to you, but you cannot teach a person how to kiss, certainly not by typing up a response anyway...It's one of those "hands-on experience'' things. Just try not to shove your tongue in his mouth and choke him because that isn't very pleasant. Go with the flow and it should be great!
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Hello everyone, Today I was having a conversation with one of my very good friends when the topic of intimacy and sex came up. She has only been seeing her boyfriend for 4 weeks and has already had intercourse with him, which I must admit concernced me. When I asked her about it she said it was because she wanted to feel closer to him. Now in my opinion people don't need to have sex in order to be intimate, but I know a few people who think otherwise, the majority of these people being males. It seems to me that "becoming more intimate" is just a reason that people try to use in order to have sex, as I have often encountered couples who aren't sexually active that are much closer than couples who are. Intimacy (to me) can be achieved through a variety of ways, even a walk in the park, a candlelit dinner, a picnic at the beach! I'd like to know what other people think though, do you believe that in order to be intimate with someone in a relationship you have to have sex?
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I don't know of any websites you could use, but perhaps you should try checking in your local newspaper. I'm pretty sure most jobs require you you to be at least 16, but there's always things like delivering newspapers or picking strawberries! Another good opportunity would be working for your community centre; maybe a scorekeeper for baseball games or something. When you're older and looking for a job employers tend to value this very much since you worked for the city (at least that's how it is here in Quebec).
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You're engaged, the least you can do for your fiancee is tell him the truth. He's ready to dedicate his entire life to you, yet you're so unsure that you go out and fool around with other men? Having too much to drink is not an excuse, you have to tell him what you've been up to; no matter how much it's going to hurt him he deserves to know. Before you do this I suggest you figure out what you want. Do you want to be with him or not? If you decide you wish to continue a relationship with him (that is if he's willing after he finds out what you've done) you musn't begin such inappropriate behaviour again, or you'll probably jeopardize your entire relationship for good. I can understand that you must be fearing such a great commitment, but you've made it clear just how much this man loves you and cares for you, don't do this to him...
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Hello again martyj, I'm happy to hear that you're finally trying to let go, although there's no doubt it's probably going to be a long and difficult process, in the end you will be so much better off. Just keep on reminding yourself of all the pain she put you through and how you deserve better. And you will find someone better, I have no doubts about that, good things will come your way.
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Paternity Test: Anyone know where it can done for free?
Tinkerbell replied to Jitrenda's topic in Parenting and Families
Hello, I just did some quick research on the topic and as far as I see you're going to have to pay for the test. I found a site for a lab that does it in your area, though... genetrack.bc.ca/locations_result.php?find=ab I hope this helps. -
It's true that ten year age gaps are sometimes hardly noticeable, but I certainly don't think that that would be the case in your situation. At 19, she's in a completely different place in her life than you are. She's just finished high school, perhaps in her first year of college, while the majority of 29 year olds are already done university, looking for a wife, starting a family! If you're intent on entering this relationship, be cautious. Be verrrrry cautious...
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Hello there, Sadly, there is no way that you can make a person like you; they're either interested or not. When you confess your feelings to a friend there obviously is a chance of rejection, but if your feelings are strong enough you'll be willing to make the jump and take the risk. Now, as for the actual telling him... I suggest that before you confess your feelings you flirt with him a bit and see his reaction. If all goes well and he goes along with it, chances are he may be interested in you too. Watch his body language, does he look you in the eye when he talks to you? Once you've done this, just flat out tell him you think he's a great guy and that you'd be interested in having him as more than a friend. If you wish to remain friends with him no matter what his feelings for you are, make it clear. All in all, be yourself, be confident, be cool, and everything will work out for the best!
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do people understand about cutting?
Tinkerbell replied to blackcrosses's topic in Suicide & Self-Harm
I'm not sure exactly what you mean by this Val_76, but I can assure you that it is very possible (and likely) that someone would ask so many questions because they are close to the cutter and because they care. No parent, friend, or spouse wishes to find out that their loved one has taken to self-injury, so a shocked and dismayed reaction is completely normally. A friend of mine began cutting her wrists a few years ago and when I found out I was absolutely devastated that she had felt the need to take it that far. I tried my best to help her with her problems, but, needless to say, a person can only recover if they want to help themselves. As for blackcrosses, I certainly don't think that it's a good thing that you don't wish to refrain from harming yourself, and I hope that you will eventually will be able to deal with things in another way. Try to understand your friends who aren't sure how to act around you, because chances are they are rather frightened because they know that you are threatening your own well-being and there isn't much they can do about it. It's possible that one of your friends may contact your parents with the news, and if this is the case, although you may be very angry at first, one day you will appreciate it. Take care, ~Tink -
Hey there, Just because a person has reached a certain age certainly doesn't mean that they should throw sex into a relationship right away, and this guy should respect the fact that you want to get to know him better before you become so intimate. You've waited this long before having sex, don't lose your virginity to a guy who's pretty much threatening to get it elsewhere if you don't "put out." You should be completely comfortable with one another before taking it that far, and, (in my opinion) in love. If he cannot respect that than he's not worth it.
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Why would my fiance pay for sex when our sex life is so good
Tinkerbell replied to miss_kaos's topic in Infidelity
Hey there, I would just like to let you know I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this. If your fiancee really did sleep with a prostitute than you certainly are not overreacting! Now lets get the facts straight...He still hasn't admitted to going through with it, correct? However, his friend has flat out told you that he knows for a fact that your fiancee did go through with it? Whom do you trust more? Your boyfriend or his friend? It's obvious that there doesn't appear to be a reason for his friend to lie about such a thing, but do you think that there's a slight chance that he's mistaken? Even if your boyfriend didn't end up going through with it, the point is that he was about to which is just about as bad! I certainly don't think I'd have it in me to forgive something like this, and I don't think it would be wise of you to forgive him immediately either. If you wish to pursue your relationship in the future (whether it be for your sake or your son's sake), it's certainly going to take a long time for you to be able to trust him again, and this is completely normal given the situation. However, you may wish to rid him of your life completely, which is also understandable. It all depends on how you feel you can deal with the whole ordeal. But remember, you've done nothing wrong, even if the two of you had a terrible argument that does not give him an excuse to fool around with someone else. ~Tink Please answer my above questions so I can help you further... -
Hey dandylife, welcome to eNotalone! It sounds like you've got quite the guy on your hands...I would think it would be more understandable had he kissed another woman AFTER he broke up with you, but since this isn't the case I don't suggest you forgive him so easily. He did break your trust and it's normal for it to take awhile before you can give it back to him again. Before you begin the forgiving process you should ask yourself whether or not he's worth it. He's obviously at a place in his life where he has no clue what he wants (The whole repetitive "I need space" - "I miss you" thing) and he might put you through a lot of pain if you continue to see him. I don't know this man and I don't know exactly how you feel, so the best advice I can give you is to follow your heart. Best of luck to you, ~Tink
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Hello! First off, try to calm down a bit, if you're so nervous and anxious when you actually go on the date you probably won't have a good time. Secondly, decide a place that you'd like to take her before you ask her out. If you're out of ideas, you could always go with the traditional dinner and a movie. However, you may be able to think of something more creative such as the local fair. Find a good time to approach her (when she's alone would be best) and then take a deep breath and ask her! If she fancies you so much I don't see why she would refuse, unless perhaps her parents don't want her dating... Don't worry about it, the worst she can say is no!
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I'm so sorry to hear just how mow she is ruining your life... As for the way you may appear to others if you ignore her in person, try not to care about what they think, you have to put yourself first and by ignoring her you will be helping yourself a great deal. If others cannot understand that, than that's their problem, you'll know that there is much reasoning behind your actions. Oh, and you're very very welcome. Do not hesitate to post again if something else arises. Best of luck to you! ~Tink
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New girl at work, but has boyfriend who hits her?
Tinkerbell replied to madhornet's topic in Dating Advice
I completely disagree with that statement. If you care about this girl and wish to pursue something, why not get involved? Don't start accusing her boyfriend of abusing her, just talk to her and casually bring up her relationship. Let her know you care and that you're there for her. If she doesn't say anything about him hitting her, it'd be best for you not to bring it up because she may get very defensive. On the other hand, if she makes it clear that he is violent than you must try to help her free herself from such a harmful relationship. Right now try not to think about dating her, but ensuring her well-being first. -
Changing all your numbers and moving is a big step, are you sure you're ready to do this? Give yourself time to become stronger before doing something drastic..The email address isn't a big deal but moving is! Next time you see her in person and she tries to interact with you, walk away. If she calls you, tell her you don't want her in your life anymore and you'd appreciate it if she'd leave you be. I know it's blunt, but in this case its necessary.
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Don't worry, just keep doing what you've been doing and eventually it will stop. I must admit that chances are you're having so much difficulty letting go because you're probably expecting the two of you to get back together again for the, what is it, 4th time? Remember that you do not need this woman to be happy, as a matter of fact I'm positive you will be much happier without her. Keep your head up, things will get better...
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Even though many people think she's wonderful, what she did to you was horrible and you musn't forget that. Getting over someone is hard, and it's often a long and difficult process. Just keep reminding yourself that you're better off without her. Perhaps get a hobby to pass the time, or start up an exercise routine, anything that you think will keep her off of your mind.