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Parsley

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Everything posted by Parsley

  1. Parsley
    Be careful what you wish for. My ex told me he loved me while we were having sex (I can't say it was making love - not now) and that memory stings more than any other. There's one time that I can hear clearly in my head and it makes me wince and feel so desperately sad. I also feel stupid for it...I'm pretty sure he wasn't so much saying "I love you so much" as "I love what you're doing so much". Don't ask him to say it - say it if you feel it, and he'll say it if he feels it. As others have said, it has only been one month. Surely you'd rather wait until you were certain he felt it before he said it to you?
  2. Parsley
    *dance dance dance dance dance* I am happy. Would you like to know why? Of course you would. My phone just went off. Usually I'm a bit confused cause people don't text me very often (cue violins) but it's during the day so I don't really care. But it's midnight and my ex used to always text me late at night - when he text me last time it was 1am. So my mind immediatley flew to him. Why does that make you happy? I hear you yell. Well, it makes me happy because although I thought it was going to be him, the bottom didn't drop out of my stomach and my heart didn't stop. I felt like "cuh, how inconvenient" It wasn't him, lol, but the point is...it didn't terrify me to very pits of my soul like it has done in the past. I'm back to how I was before. The day/night my ex text me I picked up my phone when it honked at me completely normally. I didn't think he would contact me so I didn't consider it. But since then it's always scared me when I hear it beeping when it's late. But now it's like...I seriously doubt he will contact me again, but if he does I won't be inconsolable like I was. I even feel like I could tell him where to stick it.
  3. Parsley
    Carnelian is very right! There are 10 years between my brother and myself, and 6/7 between my sister and myself. Just because you don't want more kids now doesn't mean you won't later. There's bound to be a time when you look back at the days when your daughter was tiny and wish you could have it again. Also just think how good it will be to see them growing up together. You've said that you feel quite selfish with your time...running with that theme, although I don't like it at all, they can/will play with each other. I know a lot of people who are an only child, and they've said that growing up is very lonely. I have a glimpse of it now, being the only child left at home. Sitting at dinner with my mum dad and nana can sometimes feel depressing. Not that I don't love them - it does just get incredibly lonely.
  4. Parsley
    splashdown is right - she's just making sure you're still there should she deign to come back. My ex ignored my questions too - and eventually I got so angry about him doing it that I decided that if he didn't want to answer them - fine. He was giving me free reign to come to whatever conclusion I wanted, and they're hardly going to portray him in a favourable light are they? I know this is going to sound like the same tired old reply, but just don't reply. Not only will you not have to wonder about why she isn't answering the questions you put to her, but (more childishly, I concede) she'll get a taste of her own medicine. It hurt me so much to be left wondering, and I can tell it has got to you too. Do this, pay more attention to my first reason, but know that my second reason will stand. x
  5. Parsley

    Pregnancy update

    Parsley replied to scarew's topic in Pregnancy

    Aw! I haven't been following your posts, just seen them about, but just from this I'm excited for you! My sister has sickness throughout her pregnancy, but has a very healthy little boy now which makes up for it! Hope it's not too horrible for you *hug* The thing that always makes me the most jealous of expectant mothers is feeling the baby kick. I'm not planning on getting pregnant anytime soon (chance would be a fine thing - cuh) but I do want kids in the future...and I think that next to the actually baby - that's what I'd look forward to most! Good Luck! xx
  6. Parsley
    I don't know about the memory eraser....but you can get sonic screwdrivers from Toys R Us that are the very definition of cool. You're not silly for wanting to block out this feeling. It's so painful and you simply can't imagine anytime when you won't feel like this way. And I know it's not very comforting when people say "You'll feel so much better for having gone through it!" Because it's like..."fair enough...but I still feel like crap now". Let yourself wallow sometimes...allow times when you're going to let those thoughts flood you. Then after that time think "no. not now." and try and concentrate on something else. Again, easier said than done, but after awhile it becomes second nature, and so when you do think about them it is pushed out of your brain instantly, or you think about them for a bit, but the flood has gone down, it's more of a stream. Keep at it! If not for your mental wellbeing, but your physical well-being...I hear SuperDave has a mean overarm :S
  7. Parsley
    I think she's acted like a child, as someone else said, whining because her friends have bigger diamonds. That to me suggests it is not something about her 'personal taste' but the plain and simple fact that she doesn't want to be the one that has something different. I could maybe understand if it was the style of the ring that she didn't like, and agree that swapping for something of the same price would be fair. But it sounds like she just wants bigger for the sake of it and her choice would be far more based on the price tag beneath the ring than the jewellery itself. I know some people have said that it's something she will wear everyday...but that's not necessarily true. My mum, sister, aunts...pretty much every married woman I know only wear their wedding bands - choosing to wear their engagement ring only on special occasions. I read your previous post, and it seems like this is most definitely showing you what she will be like for the rest of her life - throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. You said she was trying to get a proposal after 4 months?! That's madness! If this were out of character for her then I *might* consider it slightly more acceptable. It would show that it was something that mattered to her. But the fact is, this isn't a one off. She has shown herself to be selfish and childish in the past and will only carry on with that pattern. It won't end with the ring. Soon it won't be a big enough car, house, gifts at birthdays Christmas and anniversaries won't be good enough because her friends got something better for theirs. I seriously think that you shouldn't be with this woman.
  8. Parsley
    Of course it is - it's going to be that way for awhile. Don't expect miracles. I've experienced both a slow change to a point where I realised "Oh, I haven't thought about X for ages" after a break up last year, and a sudden "Whoa! I don't miss him" that occurred the other day after nearly 2 months apart. I think the whole 'laying your cards out' is the thing that really gets to most people. You feel like you showed them everything you were and gave them all you could and they said "yeah...no thanks" and turn the table over leaving you to pick up all the cards whilst dealing with the shock of the table landing squarely on your head. I think you've just got to trust that every day heals you a little bit. Nobody believes that it will get better, even though everybody knows it will.
  9. Parsley
    I'm one of those instant deleters. Having been dumped by email it was actually the first thing I did - even before tears came, all his emails were gone, from any possible source, texts also. Luckily for me I didn't have too many as my phone is relatively new. He has my old phone, the one that had any messages that would have been too difficult to delete. He said he was going to keep them when I gave him the phone. I often wonder how long it was before he deleted them, or if we were even broken up when he did it. I just didn't want to give myself the opportunity to go back and read them and decide he couldn't possibly be that bad because of what he said back then. The guy is a complete . On the plus side, him having my old phone means he gets all the cold calls I used to get *all the time* and every so often various friend and family members ring him thinking it's me. I'd imagine that would get very annoying, very quickly. And I am very glad about that.
  10. Parsley
    Oatmeal - Don't beat yourself up about it....SuperDave's got that covered! Seriously though, it's perhaps one of the hardest things to resist when you get a text or phonecall from them, especially when they leave loose ends in the conversation, leaves things open to interpretation or say something that is just so downright absolutely NOT TRUE that it goes against human instinct to not say "wait just a moment...you're talking crap". I'm on attempt two (though possibly 3...not overly sure if my nighttime unconscious texting counts or not) and I took heart from getting a fresh start to the challenge. It was like, 'ok, I screwed up, but now I get a chance to start over again and now I know what it does to me to talk to him, I'll do everything I can to avoid it.' Shadow - is Australian Cadbury's different to English? I've got a huge slab of Cadbury's right here and now I'm all curious...
  11. Parsley
    You've reminded me time after time not to beat myself up for having down days. So....DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR HAVING DOWN DAYS! Expect and anticipate setbacks. I got majorly setback when the ex contacted me after about a month, because I just told myself "I'll be ok by now, if he contacted me I could handle it" I didn't actually stop and set out the situation in my mind and really let myself think that it wouldn't be fine. That I'd probably be far from fine. You are *clearly* going to be far from fine when she leaves. I think I'd be a lot more surprised if you turned up here saying that when she left you just went "kay, seeya!" out the corner of your mouth with both eyes still on your work. So just try and mentally prepare yourself for that happening. Have plans to go out after or the next day or whatever. You want a slap...ok. *slap*. I'll have you know that that was a little half-hearted. After she goes you don't have to worry anymore. My guess is that knowing she was leaving has kind of held you back. I did have another point to back that up but it has shot out of the window and I don't have a clue what I'm twittering on about anymore. I do apologise. So yeah...*slap*...but then a hug because you're off-guard because of the slap.
  12. Parsley
    Another good day, barely thought about my ex, because I spent the wiole time with my brother, sister and nephew! We fed the ducks, went to the park, and then went to Toys R Us, where I saw this picture, and couldn't resist, Wonder if you can guess what it is lol Dreamt about him contacting me last night - it was great cause in my dream I was all..."talk to the elbow, you're not worth the extension" which made me happy Going for a 'chat' with the headteacher at one of the schools I may get a job at tomorrow. Cannot wait to be out of my house! This one is to be a receptionist - the other would be as a nursery assitant. I'd much rather do the latter, but either one is good. Shaker and Boston - I'm deliriously happy for you two. Some days I've seen you and wanted nothing more than to hop on a plane and hug you till you say "er...yeah...let go now." and others I've read your posts and taken strength from them. I'm so pleased that you've got to this milestone, and know that you're going to be fine - better than fine - fantastic!
  13. Parsley
    You reminded me of myself in some aspects there. My ex was also never online, so I never even thought about him and msn. The first time I realised we'd been online at the same time and not spoken to each other, I didn't stop shaking for a long time, and cried for longer than that. I did similar to you about the contact list...I didn't want to block him, but I did delete him. So if he really wants to talk, he can do, he's not blocked, but I don't have to worry about whether or not he will, because I never know if he's online or not. The others are right...he is baiting you. Wanting to get a reaction out of you. I know this feeling all too well. Before my ex dumped me he ignored me so much I would do anything. I wanted to get any kind of reaction out of him, I didn't care if it was compassionate, angry or whatever...I just couldn't stand the indifference. It sounds to me like he's doing that. He wants you to acknowledge him, and doesn't care whether it makes you happy or sad or angry. The one thing that stopped me whenever I felt I *had* to contact him as a result of his various actions was my pride. I just couldn't bear the thought of him seeing my name appear on his phone or in his inbox and have him know that he still held some control over me. It's worked very well for me. The last time I contacted him was over the weekend (I think) and I didn't do that on purpose. (a message whilst I was still mostly unconscious - something I'm famous for amongst my friends!) Even then, all it included was my address, a request for him to post my things to me, and thanks. I don't intend to ever speak to him again unless I can possibly help it.
  14. Parsley
    I hate the whole idea. I am well aware that I can get incredibly emotional when I'm on, and I try my best to keep that to myself. But the idea that women always read into things far more than necessary and see problems that don't exist at all times of the month has nonetheless got itself engraved on my brain. Twice I've decided that the worries and fears I've had about relationships are just down to me 'being girly'. Both relationships failed. Both times had I confronted them about what I felt I would have saved myself a whole lot of heartache.
  15. Parsley
    Tijuana! I haven't seen you for an age! Glad to see you're on tip top form deborita - This guy sounds like the worst kind of idiot you can get. I felt angry for you whilst reading your post! Hard as it seems you just have to find and latch onto the things that annoyed you and hurt you about him. One day (I can't give you any estimate...it changes from person to person) you'll suddenly see him for who he really is, and appreciate how lucky you are that you got out of that situation when you did. Good Luck with NC! I think it was boston who said she'd stopped counting the days of NC. I realised when she said it that I hadn't been keeping it up in my head like I had before, and I didn't care. Ok, what happened the other night confused the whole issue...does it count as contact when you're asleep? But not counting the days has made it easier in a way. It takes importance away from it, and away from him. I know that I needed to have counted them and known how long it had been before...but now I don't feel like I need to do that. There isn't going to be a day when I think, right now I can contact him whenever I want, and if I never stop counting then he'll still hold a place in my head, and i don't want that. My big change the other day helped me more than I could imagine and I don't want to look back if I can help it. I want him out of my head before he can start claiming squatter's rights. I'm off to singing momentarily. I shall be thinking of all of you this time. The song in which I have a solo doesn't use real words - meaning I can put whatever meaning I want into the song. And you are all going to be my meaning!
  16. Parsley
    lol I like hairy man legs. *swoon* yay for rugby players! Another advantage! Don't feel bad for ogling now.
  17. Parsley
    I am. Still trying to tread carefully - make the most of feeling this good, because I haven't since November (before we broke up), but also making sure that I don't run into this blindly and let myself fall back to where I was. It makes sense to me that I should be feeling good again by now. We were only together 4.5 months, and it's nearly 2 months since the break up.
  18. Parsley
    Well I do know his number by heart - it was mine! He's got my old phone. But my theory is, I'd have to wake up a lot more in order to remember it, so I'd stop before I sent him anything. I am. Yesterday marked the best I've felt since the break up, and I know now I wouldn't take him back, not in a million years. Now when I think about him I'm not sad at all. I either feel indifferent or slightly repulsed. ^Another advantage right there. I finally got to see what a complete he actually is.
  19. Parsley
    :s I found a delivery report on my phone this morning. I'd done one of my famous messages whilst mostly unconscious. Luckily all it was was my address and a request for my things. With a lot of terrible spelling. I deleted his number after that.
  20. Parsley
    Ah! Why tell you? Why?! It's funnier if they don't know lol Another advantage - no more drunken texts/phone calls at 4am This one's more personal, but now I can talk more freely with the one mutual friend we had that he argued with and stopped talking to. We never stopped talking, but it was awkward. Not anymore, woop!
  21. Parsley
    LOL! Yes it's normal! Out of interest...why did you think him moaning was your que to stop?
  22. Parsley
    Lol - sorry! Maybe your advantage is that you don't have to unexpectedly walk in on that sight?
  23. Parsley
    I think it can be a good idea to make sure he knows her feelings...but maybe in person would be better? If she really does want to go down the route of an email, I'd suggest that she reassures him she's not ending it very near the beginnng. I was broken up with via email...and reading the beginning of this reminded me of the utter fear I felt when I began reading it. She says she's knows she's going to scare him, but that is something I think she abislutely must make clear, because it physically hurts SO much to feel fear like that when you're reading something from the one you love.
  24. Parsley
    And you don't use as many razors. It's just fantastic for all concerned really. Then when spring rolls round you don't find any bits you didn't shave, because you can hardly miss it.
  25. Parsley
    You can let your legs grow their winter coat!
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