Parsley

If I knew everything I know now...I'm still undecided. He did make me ridiculously happy, but then also unbearably depressed and insecure. I'm in the process of weighing up the good times against the bad - but finding it really difficult not to disbelieve everything he ever said when we were happy as a result of everything he told me when we broke up. Which wasn't much, and left a LOT of room for me to fill in the gaps with what I think happened. Not the best idea of his, because I'm resenting him more and more as the days go by!

Sure will. I'm pretty sure the next little session won't be for a very long time though. I intend to give all guys a wide berth for a long time, possibly until I'm back at uni in October. x

I've taken two tests, both are negative. I've not known relief like it! We were both tested recently, so that's all good. I may not like my ex as a person much anymore - but I know for a fact he wouldn't cheat on me. Just one of those things you can be sure about. I guess everything I'm getting is down to the stress of the breakup. Things between us weren't great before we broke up, maybe just my body telling me something I refused to believe when my thoughts told me! Thank you all so much for your help - it really helped me to put things in perspective and not panic so much about it.

The thing is I don't know anything about my cycle. The reason I went on the pill was because I had extremely irregular periods and couldn't predict a thing about them. I had one period with my old pill, but then changed the type and had to go straight from one pack to the other, so I didn't have a period last month. Last time I had sex was...20th/21st December.

Well I took my last pill tonight, so probably about thursday or friday? My best friend is coming to mine tomorrow so we can go and get a test. I'd rather do it as soon as I can - I won't be able to rest until I know for certain - though I'm guessing the chances are if I am, I won't rest much then either.

My mum has always been a difficult one to talk to about guys and stuff. This time it was particularly difficult, as he was 6 years older than me - the same age as my sister and even a little older than my brother in law. We got together a little while before I left for university, and when I consulted my sister, we thought it best to wait and see how the relationship dealt with the distance before telling mum - it could have been a lot of bother for nothing. I intended to introduce him to the family this Christmas, but it got delayed a little by some personl problems with him, and then it was over.

Hey... Ok. Well. My boyfriend broke up with me last week. The week before we slept together. I'm on the pill so we didn't use a condom. I had changed a week before to a lower dose pill because the old one was giving me really really bad moods. I noticed that I had a little bit of spotting a few days after we slept together, but just put it down to the fact that the pill was a lower dose and I was thereforeeee more likely to have a bit of breakthrough. Also discharge was getting thicker than before. It carried on, but I thought nothing of it. Then he broke up with me. After that I noticed more spotting, a vague sense of nausea and pain in my abdomen, like period pain, but this time attributed it all to the shock my body had just had from the break up. I mentioned earlier this evening to my mum when she noticed me rubbing my abdomen that I had some pain like period pain, and she asked where I was regarding the pill. I told her that I had one more to take, and she said that my body didn't know that so I shouldn't be having pain. So now I would really like some opinions on whether these things are just as a result of changing the pill and then the sudden upheaval in my life, or something else that would be really really bad right now. My mum doesn't know that I slept with my boyfriend...she only found out I was with him when I was sobbing my heart out on my sister's shoulder after he broke up with me.

My boyfriend broke up with me on Wednesday and though I'm on a complete emotional rollercoaster - a big part of me won't stop concentrating on when I can get some dvds back from him. We don't have any mutual friends (anymore...there was one but they had a big bust up and there's no way I could go down that route) and neither of us can drive to quickly just drop them off and go - so we're going to have to arrange a time to meet up. And I would leave it until it wouldn't be agony to see him and hear his voice, but the dvds he has are the ones I've always fallen back on when I'm down - the things I watch to remind me to keep searching for my fairytale. It's why he has them - he borrowed them the day we got together so he could know what drives me...if you get my meaning. So what do I do? I'm not going to contact him. The months before we broke up I was always the one to initiate contact, and the last month especially was ridiculously difficult to do because he would rarely reply or answer his phone or whatever. I couldn't take him ignoring me again (which he has done already - depsite insisting he would answer my questions) and having my heart leap even more whenever I get a new email or text. It's difficult enough persuading myself not to hope he'll call. I don't think I could get back with him - he hurt me too much and made me distrust my own mind knowingly. But I just want to have the upper hand for once - how can I get past him and return to my normal routines for cheering up when he's holding some of the main elements of that away?

Right...so my boyfriend broke up with me on Wednesday. At the moment I'm a state. I had a break up in April which was nowhere near as bad as this, because I wasn't in love with him anymore...but this guy I still very much was...am...I don't know. The thing is - for the last 2 months or so I'd thought things weren't right, but dismissed it all, blaming it on the fact that I had just gone on the pill and I was having trouble at uni, and that it was long distance. I've cried I'd say every day since the beginning of november, save for about 2 weeks totalling up all the random days I didn't - and when I cried, it was always about him. But I never let myself believe that it was him that was making me cry...to me it was the way I was overanalysing pointless things and seeing problems that just weren't there. I find out on Wednesday that the whole time he *was* ignoring me and treating me badly, but he still let me believe I was the problem. I apologised to him on so many occasions for 'acting weird and clingy' and told him that I thought it was my pill and all that, and never once did he say it was him. He let me drive myself crazy, ignoring my friends, and ignoring all my instincts that things just weren't right. Somehow last week we ended up sleeping together (before we broke up) and he admits that he'd been thinking about breaking up with me for awhile, and he really regrets what happened, but he was drunk. That...I can forgive...we all do stupid things when we're drunk. But the next day he reassured me (I'd brought up my insecurities again) and we carried on. He definitely wasn't drunk the next morning...so why would he do that to me, knowing he was going to end it? And I wouldn't feel so bad about it...if it were the first time it had happened to me. When I broke up with my old ex in April, I had been feeling from January that things were terrible between us, but I put it down to me being girly and seeing things that weren't there. I ignored myself, and all the advice my friends gave me. So now I don't know how to feel about anything. How can I possibly trust someone again when the last two people I loved let me believe I was in the wrong, when it was them? I gave him so much...I lost my virginity to him and spent so much time doing things just to make him smile, and now he says that from the start he pretty much thought it would fail because I was going to uni. After the first break up I decided to be strong, and not let what happened before affect me this time. And now the same thing has happened, but worse and I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'll meet someone but then end it just because of some tiny thing because now I'm too scared to ignore what my heart tells me. I thought when we first broke up that we could eventually be friends - I managed it with my other ex. But since then, since going over everything that's happened, I'm seriously doubting I'll be able to even be in the same room as him, because he has hurt me so very much. Sorry it's long...once I start typing I can't seem to stop...and it's a lot more preferable to crying which is my only other main activity at the moment.

Hey Thanks so much for your replies. It's the kind of thing I needed...I haven't wanted to ask my friends for help about this, because then they'll have the dilemma of, do I badmouth him or not, and I also don't want them to think badly of him if everything gets back to normal. But yeah, your replies are the kind of balanced opinion I was looking for, so thanks Any handy hints on how to stop myself feeling so disappointed would be great. Last weekend one of his e-mails took a few hours to reach me, so it was after the time he finished work, and was thereforeeee a big surprise. But now there's that possibility lurking in my head it's hard to dislodge it. I didn't even look at my laptop for hours this evening, just left it upstairs, but when I came up to bed my heart was pounding in case there was a reply. I'd know it instantly as I have a little gmail notifier on my desktop. There wasn't anything if you're interested, and the vast majority of me knew there wouldn't be, but the tiny minority that hoped there would be managed to disappoint the entirety of me. x

I have had to go on holiday with an ex - we booked a student deal, so couldn't get a refund and couldn't transfer ticket names. We had to go to Paris for 5 days. The build up to going was awful, I didn't know if I'd be able to stand it. It was...3 months after we broke up, so I was over him, but it would still be difficult. However I found that, though sometimes being obviously seen as a couple smarted a little, I could bear it. If you're skiing, then you'll probably have a lot of opportunity to be apart from him. When we'd been out for a day we'd usually go back to our hotel and just sit and read or listen to music and stuff - we didn't talk a whole lot. It brought us closer as friends again, but it took a lot of strength to be in the most romantic city in the world with the guy I'd just broken up with. Take plenty of things to distract you with and spend time apart, and time together just being friendly. It can work - but you can't be hanging onto any hopes when you go. xx

I broke up with my ex of 2.5 years earlier this year, and we were best friends. We'd had so much stuff planned together that we couldn't cancel, it meant we couldn't avoid each other. Literally, about 2 weeks after we broke up we had to go up to London together 3 times in one week, then later in the year go to Paris! That ended up being a lot better than I thought it could, we were really just friends. We've become friends now, but we won't ever be best friends again...too much happened. The real thing that settled things out again? He told me he's gay. I felt bad that I hadn't told him directly about my new boyfriend, whereas he told me himself that he was gay, so I e-mailed him and apologised about that, and we were able to talk to eah other about that, and then move onto friendship. It will be difficult to be close to anyone you have loved, but if you both try, then it can work. Good luck!

I've got pretty much the exact same thing going on with me...my boyfriend is having some really tough times, and everything I say to him now is me desperately trying to help! I know exactly how you feel about it getting you down. When all you're doing is hoping that it will at least bring them a little smile, but then getting a totally indifferent response to it all is disheartening, and, I don't know about you, but it makes it hard for me not to start overthinking everything. What everyone has told me to do is just communicate when he does and try not to be overbearingly 'nice'. It's hard, but hopefully, we'll both get what we need soon enough!

Hiya, this is my first post on these forums. I've been sitting at home driving myself crazy thinking about this so thought I should seek advice from further afield. Right, through a mix of various circumstances, things are pretty rubbish for my boyfriend, and he has been incredibly down for the last month and a half or so. We had a time of about a month when he couldn't contact me, which was beyond his control, but eventually turned out to be pretty soul destroying for me to keep ringing him. We literally got past this about 3 weeks ago, when I told him how I was feeling, and he found other ways to get through to me. Last week, just as it seemed things were getting a bit better for him, he was getting chirpier, he got some more bad news and has slumped right down again, worse than before. Since then he's barely been speaking to me. He's lost his phone and both he and his housemate are really bad at answering their homephone, and he has no internet at home. I only get to talk to him through his work e-mail, which means no communication at all in the evenings and weekends. So I talk to him through emails, and most of the time I'm desperately trying to cheer him up, or at least make him feel a little better, which has little to no effect, but because I don't get any other chance to talk to him I don't care that that's what we talk about. But then sometimes he just doesn't reply to them, and I have no idea why. I don't know whether I should keep checking to see if he's replied, when I know he won't, and thereforeeee being disappointed all the time, or if I should leave it for a long time before checking, but also knowing that when I do check and there's no reply I'll be even more disappointed. It's not even enough that I *know* that there won't be an email from him, because I also know there's a part of me that will still be getting my hopes up every time I look. It's starting to get me really down too. The fact that we went through something similar not too long ago doesn't help. The first time wasn't his fault, and I accept that...but this time he knows how difficult it was for me back then, but doesn't seem to acknowledge it at all. Recently I've been annoying as hell, because I was put on a pill with a strong dose, and it turned me into a crazy, clingy madwoman, overthinking absolutely everything that happened between us. I've just changed pill, and I'm getting back to normal, but still I have a cry nearly everyday because I'm so scared he's being so distant because he doesn't love me anymore or wants to break up. Sorry it's long..I tried cutting out unimportant parts, but then I just kept going. Any help would be greatly appreciated, and I apologise in advance if you say something and I come back with something that sounds ungrateful. Still getting some of the temperamental mood swings associated with the above!