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Parsley

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Everything posted by Parsley

  1. Parsley
    I can't believe I put up with it all...if it were any of my friends I'm be bellowing at them that this guy was definitely not worth it...and my friends did. Really proves the love is blind theory doesn't it? I'm doing alright today. Had a teeny tiny cry earlier because I was having a heart to heart with a friend about how I shouldn't hate him because it doesn't help anyone, but yet I have to constantly remind myself of all his bad points to remind myself why I'm doing this, and to try and stop myself loving him. How about you? x
  2. Parsley
    I think it might be a fact that Sundays are the worst. Most of the time when I saw him it would be a Sunday. I should have known right from the start that Sundays were bad news - the very first time I went to his house it was a Sunday. He said he'd meet me at the bus stop at noon - 3 hours and a handful of text excuses later, I walked 5 miles back to where I could get a taxi home because it was Sunday service - no more buses. Then, again...he left me waiting in the shopping centre for 2 hours - no excuses this time. Just didn't show, or answer his phone. And that was the day he was supposed to be making up for the fact he'd cancelled seeing me to get his haircut.
  3. Parsley
    Day...um. 16 of NC. Been an ok day. At the beginning I had a few moments where I couldn't stop my mind wandering to better times, and had to grit my teeth and force myself back to the present. Since then, I dunno. Just felt a bit weird all day. Not bad, not good though. Nevermind. Just have to put up with it.
  4. Parsley
    I hope so...though at the moment when I remember some of the good times from my previous break up, I still cringe - and I'm good friends with that ex now! Thank goodness it was the lawn you landed on! We only get majorly slippy ice here when it's been snowing. We have a lot of steps up to my house - I'd be terrified to leave the building! I did break my cocyx slipping over on the drive though once. Ouch. Many people see you? That's often worse than the fall itself.
  5. Parsley
    Shaker - Thanks for asking. Today has been okay. Keep having sudden kind of...flashbacks of us laughing together, jokes between us, me watching him on stage, and I just close my eyes and cringe with embarrassment even remembering those times. It's tough to be able to think about the happy things without feeling like a fool for not knowing what was coming. How about you?
  6. Parsley
    krnelson - I'm coming up to the birthday dilemma thing. It's my ex's birthday next week, and I don't know if I can ignore it. Before we were even a couple I remember him saying that he doesn't really like his birthday because it's always people pretending to care about you - if they did why not show it for the rest of the year? I said how did he know that it wasn't just the one day people felt they could show they cared, and promised to make him enjoy his birthday. So now...part of me wants to email him or something and say something along those lines - that although we're not together anymore I do still care that he's happy. But another part of me knows that whatever I send would probably end up seeming like a thinly veiled attempt at reconciliation - which I don't want!
  7. Parsley
    And are you going to go? Be careful x
  8. Parsley
    So are the issues between you that caused the break up resolved? If not they'll just come back again and hurt more the second time round.
  9. Parsley
    And what did he say? If the reasons for the break up are still there, you need to get right back to NC.
  10. Parsley
    It hurts so much to think that everything was lies. My ex was always the one that said things that I wasn't ready to say back or that I just didn't reply to because it was so weird to hear. How can you go from saying "I want to marry you" and "You should move in with me" to "There's no point saying I want to be in a relationship with you, when I clearly don't" within 2 months? You just have to learn to forget those things. You're better off without this person...either they were lying the whole time, or are incredibly fickle and didn't consider the momentum those words held.
  11. Parsley
    *hug* It'll be ok, much as it doesn't feel like it at the moment. This just serves to prove how much better off you are without her! She hasn't broken you...you've simply got a puncture. Nothing that can't be fixed. And luckily we are all accomplished at replacing tyres.
  12. Parsley
    You know what...I really don't think this is making my ex wonder at all. I'd be surprised if he'd noticed - he ignored me so much during our last few weeks that I never expected him to answer his phone. It was always a shock when he did. This whole thing is for me. I think that chances of him contacting me are extremely low, I'm not holding out any hopes of reconciliation, or of him saying he wanted that. The whole challenge is just me weaning myself off telling him everything. Not speaking to him...cause like I said he'd barely reply - I just told him everything. This shouldn't be as difficult as it is. We were almost NC when we broke up.
  13. Parsley
    I guess I'm lucky that I barely saw my ex. Neither of us can drive, so I'd always have to get a taxi home which got expensive! Then when I went to uni I obviously didn't see him much. Now that I think of it...I could probably count every day we spent together because they were so rare! I don't tend to go out at all...I never have, it's not really in my nature. I much prefer staying in with my friends watching a film and chatting. Less noise and you know you'll get a seat! So I don't have that to worry about like you do!
  14. Parsley
    I recommend haircuts! I don't know if it's the same for guys, but I know that it makes me feel like a sort of new person because it's often a lot more noticeable. I had a bit style change after my last break up too. Not only is it relaxing having the other person washing your hair, but it's good to know that this person is focused on you, and making what you want to happen - happen. Also got "Wash that man right outta my hair" in my head, and tried to force myself to let go. And did - for awhile. Considering a visit to London for the day by myself. I love walking around where no one knows me, and that chances of seeing someone I know are low, so I don't have to think about anyone but myself. I'm visiting my uni friends in Portsmouth soon, so I'll have around 3 hours on the train to myself - but it's not quite the same.
  15. Parsley
    Hey people So it's been over 2 weeks since the last email. Feel kinda weird and wishing this feeling would just disappear - it's like this heaviness in my chest that sometimes just seems to become unbearable for a few hours then lift. I had my haircut today as a way to make me feel better, but when I was sat in the chair looking in the mirror I noticed the huge bags under my eyes that no one else around me had. I felt vaguely confident walking out of the hairdresser's and looking round Bluewater with my ipod plugged in - but still feel kinda...eurgh.
  16. Parsley
    Good for you Tijuana! If your ex knows you go there every week and is trying to contact you and failing, I guess that would mean she'd go there, but mebbes she chickened out at the last minute. Yay I didn't dream about him last night! Instead I was at Hogwarts lol Now I'm going to Bluewater with my family - that means my adorable nephew Joseph, and THAT means I'll be distracted from my ex all day.
  17. Parsley
    I'm gonna go sleep, cause it's officially tomorrow and I'm ill Hopefully tomorrow will be a much better day for everyone, regardless of whether today was good or bad. Thank you everyone who helped me today. It's been a really painful day and I just wasn't expecting it, so it went quite deep. But you managed to turn it around as usual! xxx
  18. Parsley
    Yup one day at a time Eventually one day we'll look back at this and think "Wow, I can't imagine being that down before...look at me now!" and we'll chuckle and then guffaw and end up rolling around on the floor because life is just SO good.
  19. Parsley
    How are you feeling today Sandy? Any more smiles lurking there?
  20. Parsley
    Enitsirk - that is a really low low thing for someone to do, and you are definitely better off without him - his loss! I read that you had to have surgery to enable you to conceive, because your ex wanted a baby, is that right? If so...it's just unbelievable. Luckily your child has an amazing mother to make up any slack on their father's part.
  21. Parsley
    Tijuana - It may be that. It seems to be like a either a realisation of a mistake or an attempt at being friendly but being overbearingly so...that she doesn't know that you're going to need time apart. I think it's great you know exactly what you want - and that you didn't let her stand in your way!
  22. Parsley
    It makes me feel sorry for these people, the exes. Once upon a time they were just babies...absolutely no experience of life and a completely fresh state, and *someone* did something to them that caused them to act this way. My opinion on my ex is that he has never got over his 1st girlfriend cheating on him 6 months after they moved in together. I can understand that that would hurt...but I don't know...if it were me I'd try my hardest not to say things I wasn't sure I meant...whereas it seems he found me and leapt into everything and then did a complete 180. It was only..what...2 months ago he said I was the one he wanted to marry. I kept quiet and just didn't say anything. The same when I had to move back home and told him I was dreading living with my parents again, and he suggested moving in with him. And now where are we?
  23. Parsley
    Remind me what happened between you two, who broke up with who etc.. In general, I would be wary of someone acting like nothing had changed. It shows that they don't seem to want to acknowledge the pain you've been through, and want to move on without having to apologise.
  24. Parsley
    I can never get used to the time difference thing...I was just thinking "Surely it's too late to go out on a Friday night just for a few pints?" Then realised "Wait...you're in the uk...they're in the US. You're *ever* so slightly ahead of them" Yay for Friday night comedy and Wotsits. They have healing powers you know! I feel a lot better than earlier. I think having the realisation of how much I missed his friendship was a major shock to the system. I do feel like I've lost my reflection...it's not part of me that's missing, but something that is quite integral to me...you know? I'm trying to put my feelings in perspective. I mean.. come on, I was with this guy for less than 6 months, whereas there are people here coming out of marriages and so forth - and I feel really petty next to you. But when I see all of you dealing with everything so well it gives me an extra boost to do better and to find myself again.
  25. Parsley
    Ok. 14 days since contact. Worst day for about a week. Was feeling quite good earlier - SuperDave can atest to that I think? I felt like I was strong enough to go and distract myself with some tidying. Went for abut an hour and a half then ended up back online cause I just felt really down. Started talking to a friend on msn, and realised my ex had been online the whole time and had just signed out. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I realised how much I missed him being my friend. It wasn't that I missed the 'lover' part...I just suddenly and violently missed just talking to him about absolute nonsense. I hadn't cried in I'd say about a week until today, when I just completely and utterly broke down sobbing for about an hour and was completely inconsolable. I felt utterly lost and back to square one. I guess I'd come to terms with losing a lover, but had just ignored the fact that I'd lost someone I'd got on with more quickly than I'd ever got on with anyone, and the person I'd felt was more like me than anyone I've ever met. It feels like I've lost my reflection.
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