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Everything posted by Parsley

  1. My boyfriend and I have built up a repertoire of kisses now, mostly just for fun, but the fact that they're so fun makes everything about our relationship *lovely*. Like...movie kisses, where you do the big old passionate hard kiss on the mouth. Or delayed noise kisses LOL. Kisses where we don't purse our lips at all, literally just press our faces together. Cracks me up when he snogs my nose Or through the covers. Ah...good times!!!
  2. Snail trails own. I don't think I'd like no hair at all...would make you seem too young. Plus you know...stubble.
  3. Rubbish. Of course women need help to get through this, just as much as men! Are you saying that therapy is a completely redundant practise? Everyone needs help and support. Why are you on these forums if you can 'get through life all alone'? My ex boyfriend was 6 years older than me, with a full time job. I was a student. I paid for every visit I made to him, my food while I stayed with him, food for him sometimes, bus fare for us when we went out. I sent him things to cheer him up. The most I received in our relationship was a coke. I know a lot of people in relationships with older people and none of them 'mooch' like you think so many of them do. Do NOT make generalisations like that. It's just going to alienate you from a lot of people who do not share your views, which you will probably find is the majority.
  4. I wouldn't think too heavily on that. In the conversation I wrote about up there ^ my ex said "I'll email you that number tomorrow..." then a few minutes later "I'll ring you tomorrow" Neither happened. More annoying that the former didn't, cause it could get me a job that I desperately need!
  5. I also recently changed from having dreams about my ex, to both my ex and my first boyfriend. I'm good friends with the latter. I had just spent the day with him so that may be why. My reasoning is...during the day obviously part of your mind is preoccupied with your ex and thereforeeee 'love'. So why shouldn't there be a connection made between this one and previous ones? We know that we often dream about things that have happened during the day and dreams often seem to be sifting through our thoughts. It kinda makes sense to me that if I'm thinking about my ex I will think about my previous ex. Maybe that's just me...?
  6. I know I'm not a man....but aside from the things relating to various sexual organs...my ex loved me tickling him. That's how things always started. I used to tickle him for hours, *really* slowly building up to kissing and massage stuff. Seriously...for like an hour I would only tickle his back..then just extend the area I was touching by about an inch or so every so often, keeping it really light and running my finger just under the band of his boxers (about 1cm under). And I loved doing it. Really really did, even though leaning on one arm for long times used to cane madly the next day.
  7. I don't use AIM, I'm all about the msn, lol You can PM or email me whenever you want though
  8. Hmm. I'm not really sure. I guess in a way I'd want him to contact me first, but I'd also not want him to at the very same time. I think maybe in about 2-3 months time if you were going to contact her it would be easier on both of you. And I know I'm going to sound like a broken record here, but NC is just what you need. Of course you've had the time since you broken up to re-evaluate everything, and see things that you might want to change or whatever. But the time gives you a chance to build yourelf back up again, so that if you do decide you want to try again you will be strong enough to carry on should she say that it isn't ging to happen.
  9. I really wish I could go back to uni. I'm sick of being home, I want to be out with my friends again, like you said surrounded by new guys. My ex contacted me about umm 5 weeks after he dumped me, saying that he missed me. And I've got to say...it set me back so far, I almost hate him for it. I had convinced myself that he didn't think of me at all, let alone miss me, and the that the chances of him contacting me were slim to nil. So when he did...it threw me completely off kilter. Where before I didn't expect or hope he would text me, now I can't help everytime I check my phone. I didn't really want to get back with him before he did that, and now I miss him so much it pains me. Be careful what you wish for.
  10. *hug* At the moment it just feels so endless doesn't it? I keep going from being really quite happy to suddenly noticing that I'm crying. I just have to trust everyone here telling me that it will pass. And you have to trust me trusting them The thing is...you can't do things with what she will think of it in mind. It took me so long to stop...and I doubt I actually have completely stopped. But when you finally stop thinking that you new display picture will be the one that prompts a phone call or whatever, it does feel good. Even if it only happens once, and then when you do something else you're back to having her in your mind. I swear everyone's a lot more masochistic than they like to think.
  11. Lol....maybe that phrase is a little less prominent outside of England (or possibly Kent? Who knows.) Totally myspace. Do you know about 'scene kids?' Cause scene kids, are TOTALLY myspace. More than you, lol. If you're totally myspace you do the whole pictures in the mirror, pictures in black and white, pictures not looking at the camera, and all that jazz. I say it in jest to you. Though there are plenty of people I know who take myspace TOO seriously. Slightly off-topic, sorry. How is your situation now?
  12. Everyone has moments like that...my dad does it all the time! I often find myself talking outloud to myself, and if what I'm thinking about annoys me enough, sometimes I end up smacking myself in the face about it, or wincing terribly. It's just one of those things! I'm sure you're fine.
  13. Hello, thought I'd drop my opinion on your original questions in. I already think about my ex a lot...he hasn't been able to be online for a long time, so when I do see he's online it makes me think about him more, and have to force myself not to speak to him. If this is from the view of a dumper...I guess part of me would wonder about him a lot, but I wouldn't be overly surprised if they weren't online. I'd assume they had blocked me so they didn't have to worry about me talking to them unexpectedly. Again...from my perspective, I wasn't expecting my ex to contact me at all. It made it much more of a horrible shock to the system when he did. From the other perspective, I reckon I would want to hear from them, but again, I wouldn't be surprised and hurt if they didn't. I personally have tried to keep my feelings neutral with regards to msn names etc..used quotes from me or my friends. I don't want to pretend I'm happy when I'm clearly not, but then I don't want to be broadcasting to everyone on my list (most of whom I haven't spoken to in years) that my heart got broken. I honestly don't know what's running through her mind when she puts up those messages. It seems like a cold, heartless thing to do - knowing you are hurting and can see them. I do still care for my ex...a lot. I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I have no idea whether he'll ever change, and even if he did, if I could trust that that change would be permanent. I hope that he can...if not for me but for others after me. I'd think long and hard before giving him a second chance. Like I said, I don't know if I can trust him anymore. If I was the dumper...it would all depend on the reasons. If I could honestly know that he truly truly had changed, I may attempt friendship and see what happens. With that I'd have a chance to see whether or not those changes can last. I haven't contacted him without having had contact from him. Once he started ignoring me, I stopped instantly. It hurt too much to know that he was ignoring me, and didn't care that it hurt me. If I was the dumper, I would probably be the one to initiate contact. I've never been the dumper though, this question is really difficult to put myself into that position for. Oh how I wish I could just forget him. I assumed that my ex had just forgotten about me...dumped me and then moved on with his life. But then he contacted me, saying he missed me. It screwed me up completely, and I hated knowing that he hadn't just forgotten me. Because of the way things ended between us...I want either to still be together, or just past this. I don't want to have to think about any of it anymore. I don't know if any of that will have helped? It's just another lady opinion! Btw....you are so totally myspace! A picture in the mirror!
  14. Aw, facebook and poking are 5 minutes ago? it's only just starting to gain momentum here. Man, I am UNCOOL. I say go for it. If he doesn't poke back then he's obviously a bit rubbish. But if he's arsey enough to ignore you or make you feel embarrassed about if he doesn't, he doesn't sound like the kind of person I'd want to waste a poke on! Plenty of people have met partners in similar ways. I met my ex because of myspace (NOT a randomer I met up with...a friend of a friend I agree it does have a kind of stigma attached to it, simply because of the connection to the internet, but you know it's nothing seedy, and that's what matters.
  15. Lol, thanks everyone I do moisturise it (ok, not everyday) but I think the stuff I use is a bit rubbish, and the good stuff I bought I left at uni Just try to get it back I guess? I may have to get it touched up though...there are a couple of areas that are definitely not as dark as others. Nevermind. Thanks!
  16. Hey I got a tattoo on my hip about halfway through August last year. It healed over fine, and I love it. But a moment ago I scratched it (itch) and it seemed to kind of...peel? Kinda like sunburn does, but not as badly. The black got a little paler. When it did that I rubbed the rest of it and it all did the same thing. I've just put some moisturiser on it, and it's dark again, but I was just wondering if that's all it is? That it was just dry? When I had it checked a couple of weeks after I had it done the guy said it was doing fine and as it should. Should I go back if there are any problems?
  17. I think it's one of those things you have to 'fake till you make'. Force yourself not to feel like that by distracting yourself when you feel it coming on. Eventually (hopefully) you just won't feel those feelings anymore. I know how hard it is to worry that you're overanalysing and putting your relationship on the line because of it. Unfortunately, in my case I wasn't overanalysing...I was being led to believe I was. But before I found out the above, I sent plenty of apologetic texts and emails about the way I was acting. Just put in it what you feel... "I'm sorry for being so paranoid recently, I don't know what's brought it on. I'm going to try to get back to who I used to be! I love you xxx"
  18. lol I guess I can say what I said before this NC. He contacted me just about a week ago, at 1am, by text, saying that he missed me, asking if I missed him. I said I didn't know if I did, some days I was fine, others I didn't think about much else. After that he rang me, and we "chatted" for awhile. By chatted, I mean he asked me how I was, what I'd been up to, and I remained monosyllabic at all times (apart from when he asked about my baby nephew. Nothing can shut me up about him!). He asked if I hated him, I said a little bit, he seemed quite pleased that I didn't hate his guts. He also asked if I wanted to go to the pub with him the next day. I didn't. I knew we'd have to have some kind of weird conversation, and if it was going to be then, I'd rather do it in the daytime. So I text him the next day asking if he'd meant the things he said. I didn't get a reply. So I (stupidly) text him again saying "Is that my reply? I do want to talk to you, you caught me off guard last night. Hope you had a good evening" I never got a reply to that either. So once again I started NC. I'm a lot angrier this time though
  19. Hey boston From reading all your posts on the NC challenge it seems like you're facing so many difficulties. The last time I remember hearing you sound positive was when you decided that not becoming a doctor was the way to go. I can empathise with the anxieties, I'm feeling similar things. A few years ago I lost a lot of weight in a short time, and now people keep saying that I'm looking thinner and it worries me a lot, as well as worries like you said Dako, about unemployment, and that I'm becoming somewhat of a recluse. I've been living back home for about 2.5 months now, and I've only seen my 2 best friends that live here twice in that time, not at all since the break up. When the worries and anxieties threaten to consume me I tend to write a huge long letter/diary entry, then go for a bracing walk. It's so ridiculously cold out at the moment, so it always is bracing. I plug my ipod in, put it on shuffle and listen to whatever comes on and think about whatever it makes me think about. I find that, though people say when you're feeling depressed you shouldn't dwell on it, if I ignore it it just escalates. So I let myself wallow for awhile...let it all out in the letter and think about it on the walk, then come back and bury myself in something else. I totally believe that you can come out the other side of this a fantastically strong person. It's just the image I've built up of you from what I've read, and my resolution this year is to trust my instincts....
  20. Lol, yeah maybe he didn't put it the best way he possibly could have. But overall, I think you handled it well. I think everyone has that kind of thing at some point. With my first boyfriend we always said 'I luv you' because we didn't mean love, but it was more than like. We obviously didn't say it in person...cause that just wouldn't work. With my recent ex he said he was 'in like' with me, which worked ok for awhile. He did end up saying he loved me quite early...and the first time he did I just stayed silent cause I had no idea what else to say lol.
  21. Good Luck!!! Hope everything goes swimmingly for you! And wow...you get to have the whole baby thing! My sister had a baby in July and the whole time from then to now, watching him grow is just the most amazing thing to watch! And you get to be there all the time. Unfair. *sulks* You threw me a bit there with the 2/07/2007 thing. I thought "What?! It is most definitely not July. Buh?! Oh." Teehee...I could get so easily duped into giving americans birthday presents when it's not their birthday. However I rarely meet anyone from outside europe, so I think I'm safe.... Eep! xx
  22. I wouldn't try anything with the aim of getting them back. Try something with the aim of getting over them, and if it gets them back, great, if not, at least you will have moved on. I suffered a...well I wouldn't say unexpected break up, but it still broke my heart, and there were unanswered questions. I managed to get him to answer a couple, but right after he said "I'll answer anything else you want to know.." he completely ignored me, and the two things I wanted to know. From then I just forgot him. Well tried to. I went NC and got back to myself and though there are a lot of things that I'm still really unsure about...I'm just going to have to deal with it in my own way. He's left me to make up my mind about things, which was a really stupid idea. Everything he did became amplified when he didn't answer me, and now I'm starting to regret the whole relationship, which I know he doesn't want. I suggest NC. It's difficult, especially when there are all these things that you don't know, but could find out from them. But in the end it is the best way to break your addiction to them and get yourself back, and once more become the fabulous person you were before you met them. x
  23. I agree with DN about the not playing "If you won't, I won't" card, but then I also find that this man is an absolute fool, and you should not be with him. Threatening you like that is appalling, and as for 'finding a reason that won't hurt your feelings', how on earth could he think that him not trusting you wouldn't hurt your feelings?! I'd be devastated if the person I cared about told me they don't trust me, far more so than if they just said "I just don't like doing it". He doesn't deserve you. Plain and simple. But I know that reading this and going "Oh, ok then" and just getting up and breaking it off with him isn't plain and simple. In the end the decision is going to be yours. I just hope you realise that you can do so much better than someone who emotionally blackmails you like this guy does. x
  24. Sorry to hear you were ill, are you ok now? Did you know you were allergic to something or was this you finding out? I agree with the others...that love isn't the be all and end all. My ex broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore...and last week (after being apart for a month) he contacted me to say he missed me. It threw me completely off track, and meant that I spent a whole lot of time thinking about him, and asking myself if I still loved him. I still feel so so much for him, I definitely don't hate him, and I also would be with him in an instant if something were to happen to him...but I don't love him. I can't love him. To love someone, you have to trust them and respect them. I can no longer trust him, because of the way that he acted before he broke up with me, and I cannot respect him because of the way he acted after he broke up with me. I also know there's no way he can possibly love me (if he even did, something I am incredibly unsure about) because he has shown me such disrespect. I think you need to think very hard about whether you still love him...whether you still think he loves you, and whether you can or want to wait for him. I'm not trying to influence you either way...I'm sorry if it comes accross that way. If you do love him, he loves you and you both think that it can work out, then maybe it will.
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