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Parsley

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Everything posted by Parsley

  1. Parsley
    I don't know if I'm the best person to respond to this...Within a year I've had two breakups where I could have avoided unnecessary hurt and pain if I had just listened to my instincts when they told me everything was wrong. Since then it's become a bit of a pet thing for me. So I don't know if my advice will be right. I'd say wait until this weekend has passed...see what it is she has planned. If it doesn't make you see the situation differently, then really talk it out. Properly. After that, sit down and reevaluate these instincts, how do you feel now? Was it just one of those times when we overanalyse, or are you genuinely picking up things from her?
  2. Parsley
    Shaker - I like it when I see 'familiar' people like you on here too! And...at the moment, no it doesn't restore my faith in it at all. It makes me miss having that so much that I don't get a chance to feel happy for them. But, like I said, nevermind, I'll just have to deal with it, cause I'm going to see it all the time. How's tricks with you? And everyone else?
  3. Parsley
    Hey people I went to a gig in London tonight. Not the best I've even been to...three support acts is ridiculous. It is ridiculously cold though. First time I've even been to a gig and kept not only my jacket on, but also my scarf. And, I'm sure you'll all *love* to hear this - this is also the best I've smelt afterwards, lol! It was really good to get away from the house, have a beer and listen to some good (for the most part) music. Had the odd few moment where it was slightly sad...one being that throughout the whole gig I was stood next to a couple constantly hugging and giggling and so forth. I don't begrudge them it, I just wish I didn't have to be reminded of it. Also I was with a friend who talks about little else but her boyfriend and today it was about Valentine's day and then she was annoyed at him because he wasn't texting her enough (though he had like...5 times while we were out). It's difficult to be with someone who doesn't know how amazing they've got it. The moment I heard him say over the phone that he loved her was hardest. BUT! Nevermind. These are moments I will always encounter and must learn to deal with if I'm ever to get anywhere - ever. Tijuana - sorry you had a bad night last night...I hate the way they sneak up on you like that! But yeah, sometimes you do just get a final release before you realise you've let go. I remember that from a previous break up - one moment I was in hysterics...the next day I felt better than I had in months and carried on that way until...well until the build up to this break up.
  4. Parsley
    Tijuana - Thank you so much. I will most definitely do that tomorrow (today actually ten past one in the morning) I've learnt the therapy of writing to people many times...I don't know why I haven't used it more now. I was considering giving the password to the email account he would send to to one of my close friends, then getting them to change it, and saying to only ever check it once a week and only tell me if he had contacted me. I think that way I could really force myself not to keep looking at it and in the end it just wouldn't matter. What do you think? It's just not checking it is easier said than done. I guess I'm going to be the one that is a 'bit weird' about anti-depressants. I've known a few people on them and people who've known people etc., and I've heard that though they do make you feel better, and even if you don't get many side-effects...at some point or another you'll have to come off them, and they've found that the worst part of all. I'm kinda worried that it might have a sort of placebo effect on your feelings regarding the break up, so that when you do stop them...feelings that you've just hidden would return? I don't know from experience like others do, but I hope you think about it very carefully. shoes - if she said it was yours - it's yours. If she'd said she was lending it to you, fair enough asking for it back, but otherwise it's just childish. I would never dream of asking my exes to give back presents I had given them.
  5. Parsley
    The thing is...I know I miss him, I miss him so much...but he also played me for such a fool how can I even consider trying to win him back? This man ignored me, knew I was questioning my own sanity over him and let me, promised me everything was ok then broke up with me a week later, then said he would answer my questions, and hasn't spoken to me since. How can I possibly want to be with him? And I also *know* that he wouldn't consider it for a moment. You know, it's just one of those things you're certain of. I know the reason he hasn't contacted me is because he doesn't miss me and I don't cross his mind at all anymore. I've seen him just dispose of a friend he didn't like anymore, and that's what has happened with me. Is there any way to stop myself wanting him like this when I know there's no point?
  6. Parsley
    Hey Tijuana, glad to know we're on the same page! It's been a difficult day, and so hard not to wonder what he's thinking about me not contacting...if he is at all. Hope we've both made the right decision! Today was...weird. I had singing in the evening, with this choir. I love singing but the thought of just me singing in front of people really really scares me. It was something I talked to my ex about a lot...I couldn't even make myself sing or play in front of him, much as I wanted to, and I was trying to work on that with him, to overcome it. This evening the conductor guy asked me to sing the soprano part by myself, alongside the altos - and it freaked me out. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster, and when it got to the solo bit my voice got so weak and because I was trying so hard not to shake my voice shook instead. It was horrible, I felt like bursting into tears right in the middle of the song. Afterwards it felt just like all the moments in the past when I'd sung in front of people and had sent my ex a text looking for the reassurance he always gave me...but this time I couldn't and it felt so strange, and I felt so hollow and let down. Then on the way back home we were listening to some music, and you know how sometimes it just hits home? It was only 'It's in his kiss" but it just reminded me of the last time I saw him and the fact that our last kiss was me kissing his cheek - different to every other time ever. I could remember the look in his eyes as well...and it was exactly the same with my previous ex. The last time we saw each othe before breaking up, I kissed his cheek, and saw the same look. Overall...not a good day. It's been the most difficult day with regards to resisting making contact. I seem to be going backwards...my resolve that I wouldn't get back with him is slipping because I'm starting to miss everything so very much. Did anyone else get days like this? What do you do? Help!
  7. Parsley
    Well I don't have to worry about the birthday message anymore! 5 o'clock came and went without me even noticing, so now I don't even have the option to send him an email, and I'm NOT texting him. I rule...
  8. Parsley
    How quintessential! Exceedingly good cakes...
  9. Parsley
    A victoria sponge maybe? Or one of Mr. Kipling's finest? I could go for some angel cake right now.
  10. Parsley
    I feel like that often Shaker. Before yesterday I felt so certain that I would never get back with this guy...I was always saying to myself "It's his loss" "You're gonna be a better person for this" etc. Then when I started thinking about the birthday stuff yesterday, I found myself thinking "what if he was hoping I would contact him and wants to try again?" and ended up having a huuuuuuuge conversation with myself about what it would take for me to get back with him and eurgh. It drained me. So...yeah I feel the same. Most of the time I feel like I'm really getting over him and moving on. Then suddenly I'm stuck again and only thinking of how much I miss him. Last week in Pompey I'd had a few drinks (ahem) and you know how it loosens your tongue...my friend Nic got a right earful about *everything* I missed. Oh god...that's embarrassing.
  11. Parsley
    I have a question SD...you can't get Twinkies in England...so does that mean we're exempt from that particular rule?
  12. Parsley
    He broke up with me. I don't want to get back together with him. I do want to be friends...eventually. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to send him anything...I only have to hold out for another half hour before there's no point.
  13. Parsley
    As difficult as it has been to definitely decide this, I'm not going to contact him. And not just because it would clearly be a terrible idea, and I know I'd end up hoping for a reply...as many people here in my *real* life as it were have pointed out...he doesn't deserve it from me. Not yet in any case. He ignored me and me trying to help. He ignored me after promising not to. If I sent him even the Happy Birthday it would put power back in his hands to break me once again. He ignored me too much for me to want to give him another chance.
  14. Parsley
    I think so...I put up a post about it, and the overwhelming response is not to send anything. I just had the thought that I must have had a bit of a bias towards no anyway...when I got all the replies saying no I thought, what would I say if it were one of my friends, then thought "why didn't I ask any of them?" and I realised it was because I knew all of them would say no. I knew they'd say he doesn't deserve a Happy Birthday lol
  15. Parsley
    That's what I keep asking myself! I guess I'm just scared of losing his friendship. Even though the last month or so of the relationship he was a right...*ahem* before we got together we got on SO well and I just miss our conversations about dancing in a fishbowl and ninjas and nuns. It makes it difficult to accept that we may not be able to be friends because I'm very good friends with another ex, one I was with for 2 and a half years, 6 times as long as this guy.
  16. Parsley
    Hey Pisces - sorry to hear last night was difficult. I swear there's some kind of saying about a night demon or something...nights are always the most difficult When I feel lonely at night I tend to watch movies (that have no romantic comedy type element to them - difficult as they are to find) and then when I go to sleep listen to comedy audiobooks and stuff to distract me while I fall asleep. Today I have the whole birthday greetings dilemma and have changed my mind back and forth...oh...only about 20 times in the last 10 minutes?
  17. Parsley
    He ended the relationship, though if he hadn't I would have soon enough. That doesn't mean I wasn't completely devastated. He ended it because he didn't love me anymore - I would have ended it because I couldn't take him hurting me anymore. As far as how it was taken...I guess from what little contact we had I took it fairly well...as in..the reaction he saw from me would suggest I took it well. I didn't ask for another chance or see if there was anything we could do. I just said...ok. Two days after he ended it (by email) I sent him an email asking for a few answers - he answered 1 question, ignored the others completely, yet said he'd answer anything I asked him. I pointed out that he hadn't even answered the things I'd already asked, and he never replied. Since then complete NC. No emails, texts, phone calls. Nada.
  18. Parsley
    All I can think about is whether or not I should wish my ex a Happy Birthday. It's today. We've been apart a little under a month, and haven't spoken in just over 3 weeks. Part of me thinks I should...I had a big thing about birthdays when we were together so I don't want to just disregard everything I said to him, and I guess if we're going to make a go of being friends I should extend a hand at some point, right? I really don't want him to think I'm trying to win him back or anything because I don't. I know that it is better this way, but that doesn't mean I can;t be friendly to him. Yet anything I could say to him would probably have a reminder of 'better times' and I know if it was the other way round I would probably read into something like that and panic. Agh. What do I do?! If I did send him something, it would probably be along the lines of "Hey, just wanted to say Happy Birthday, now you're quarter of a century old you definitely need some werther's originals and a flat cap. Hope it's not as bad as you make them out to be. Have a good day!" What do you think? Please help - this isn't one of those situations where I know what I want to do and I won't actually take the advice, I honestly do not have a clue what I should do.
  19. Parsley
    I know I've asked you guys about this before, but I still don't know what I should do. All I can think about is whether or not I should wish my ex a Happy Birthday. It's today. Part of me thinks I should...I had a big thing about birthdays when we were together so I don't want to just disregard everything I said to him, and I guess if we're going to make a go of being friends I should extend a hand at some point, right? I really don't want him to think I'm trying to win him back or anything, yet anything I could say to him would probably have a reminder of 'better times' and I know if it was the other way round I would probably read into something like that and panic. Agh. What do I do?! If I did send him something, it would probably be along the lines of "Hey, just wanted to say Happy Birthday, now you're quarter of a century old you definitely need some werther's originals and a flat cap. Hope it's not as bad as you make them out to be. Have a good day!" What do you think?
  20. Parsley
    arwen - I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about the lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis. My dad works in a sleep lab, his job is to understand what our brains and bodies do while we're asleep etc. Sleep paralysis affects a lot of people, more commonly as you get older - my brother and sister get it sometimes now, and both my parents have had it. It's just a slight delay, like you said! When you have lucid dreams, it means you're not in the phase of sleep to get proper rest. Your brain obviously cannot shut off completely, that's why we dream whilst asleep. So if you're awake enough to be conscious of that fact you are dreaming...you're clearly not getting much rest. Sometimes I wish I liked science enough to do what dad does, cause it's so interesting. Anytime any show is on about sleeping disorders and things we do whilst we're asleep we end up having these great conversations about it. Our minds are *WEIRD* x
  21. Parsley
    The 30 days will be over before you know it! Seriously, I know it doesn't seem like it, and the days seem to drag...but today is my day 24, and it has flown by so quickly! You learn so very much about yourself in this time...it can only serve to help. *hugs*
  22. Parsley
    Waking up crying is common - I've woken up crying on plenty of occasions! The thing is...when you're dreaming, for the most part you accept that it's happening in real life. Yes, lucid dreaming does occur, but not constantly. But anyway - as far as your perception is concerned, you're living that experience, and if it is something that would make you cry, of course you will cry, and so the part of your brain that makes you cry is receiving messages that you're upset...so you cry! I had a dream where my sister and brother in law died in a fire, then at the funeral I found out they were going to have a baby. In the dream I was crying absolutely hysterically, and when I woke up I was crying, and in a really weird mood for the rest of the day. Perfectly natural. Believe me - my dad works in a sleep lab - he studies brain functions whilst you sleep, what happens when you dream and so on.
  23. Parsley
    Yeah I thought that...a lot of this you can be told over and over again, but until you realise it for yourself it doesn't have the same impact. That being said however, earlier on today I realised something as a result of stuff people said on here, and I really got it right then. Who knows...
  24. Parsley
    Oh god do I know that feeling!! I don't know if this will help you, as it came to me completely randomly and from my own thoughts, so it might not be so helpful if it doesn't com from within you. But, when I realised and actually studied my life now and before we broke up, and saw how much easier my life had become...it was a shock. I no longer had to worry about my ex at all...when I noticed that it felt amazing. When I noticed that my chest already felt lighter and my brow lifted instantly. I hope that helps you in some way?
  25. Parsley
    I'm not sure I can send an e-card - it would be to his work email, and I don't know what the filters are like there. So I would have to write out words... This morning when I thought about it I felt like I could manage it, but since then I had a big realisation concerning him, and found myself crying a lot. Now I'm not sure if that was just me crying because it was a sad thing...or if it was the relation to him that made me so sad.
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