I'm 28 years old, have been married to my wife for almost five years, and we have a 18-month old daughter.
My marriage is great. My daughter is great. I'm a good husband. I've been a good father for 18 months and will continue to (to my daughter) forever.
The trouble is, I know my wife wants more kids and I'm not sure I do. I used to think I wanted multiple kids, but I don't know.
The problem isn't with my wife or daughter, it's with me. I'm very selfish with my time. I like to do things on my schedule. I have my hobbies and my interests, and I just basically don't like to be bothered. I'm somewhat of a loner and I like "me time." My wife is the opposite which gets her quite aggravated at me sometimes, because we just don't see things the same way. She wants hours and hours of family time and doesn't understand why I'd ever want to be alone.
Anyone who has kids knows that having a baby, your life and your schedule goes right out the window. This didn't come as a surprise to me, but you can't prepare yourself with how big a change it is. It's just so much work. So little sleep, so much unpredictability. To me, it's all just stress that I don't want. I'm already pretty sure, after going through the first 18 months, that I don't want to do it again.
Please don't misunderstand, I love my daughter more than anything and I'd never describe her as a regret or resent her. She was planned and she's the center of our lives and brings me happiness.
If I tell my wife this, she'll be crushed. It's not the kind of thing she'd ever forget. It's not like I could tell her this, and then later on say "I changed my mind and I take it back." She'd just never forget I said it.
Should I even try to bring this up to her? If I found out she's pregnant, it's not like I'd be mad. In fact I'd probably be happy. I just don't know.
