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Parsley

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Everything posted by Parsley

  1. Parsley
    It's helpful that she's not a virgin, she'll be able to take more control and direct you a lot more. I'm glad the guy I first slept with wasn't a virgin, it made it a lot more comfortable for me, as he'd already got over the awkwardness of it all. As others said, let her lead you, but don't just lie back. Enjoy it, if you put too much pressure on it, it will definitely disappoint!
  2. Parsley
    I have never been the high pitched noise type around boyfriends. I actually tend to get a lot more shy around them for awhile. Then when I'm not shy anymore I'm just quiet about how happy I am to see them.
  3. Parsley
    Enakmai - there'll be something! I'm certain of it.
  4. Parsley
    Thank you. Needed this right now!
  5. Parsley
    I agree that you should let her call you. And to trust your instincts about it all as well! I've found a lot when I post I realise by the time I've got some replies I knew exactly what I was thinking all along. With regards to when to ask about being your girlfriend...just let it pan out naturally, don't plan it too much.
  6. Parsley
    Yay for you lightlight I'm really glad for you. I almost wish I would get something from him - just so I could show him that I couldn't care less! Good luck with this new dude!
  7. Parsley
    Glad you've got so much free time, maybe you could actually take in what people are saying? Or read your own post as southerngirl as pointed out you haven't? You asked about whether it was self-defence, we said no, and you decided you didn't care whether we thought it was or not. You can't just get arsey when the replies aren't the ones you wanted or expected. Everyone one these boards has to accept some criticism at some point or another - maybe this time you should?
  8. Parsley
    HA! Really?! But..what...how? I can't get the idea that he's going at it like a lollipop out of my mind!
  9. Parsley

    Help

    Parsley replied to thehatelove's topic in Dating Advice

    I think he means gay as in the playground "god you're so GAY!" The thing is, if she wants time apart, that's what she's going to get. Nothing you can do will change her mind, it may only serve to increase those feelings. Give her her space, there's nothing else you can do, I'm sorry!
  10. Parsley
    Oh no I do love it! Just before I'd experienced it I was just a bit..."AGH!!" but then that sort of merged into "ooh.." I was the same about giving him oral too. Before, it freaked me out, but after the first few seconds I just relaxed and found I enjoyed it too.
  11. Parsley
    Exactly, be totally natural about it, if stuff happens it happens. With my first boyfriend he'd say over and over again "next time I see you we will" or "I wish we had had the chance tonight" blah blah blah. Nothing of worth ever happened between us. Whereas with the guy I did first sleep with I just went over to his house, we'd watch some dvds and then it just progressed naturally from there. We never said it would happen, but didn't rule it out either. I'd do that. Have just a quiet evening in with her, watching dvds and talking and laughing and if you happen to kiss...that's cool. And if it happens to go a bit further, that's fine. And if it just so happens that you end up sleeping together that's just wicked. Definitely don't have your friends over, especially if they have their own sexy agenda. It always kinda nagged in my head when I visited my ex, because I knew his housemate's bedroom was always just next door, and that I *knew* that he *knew* we were having sex. You're gonna want to go to the loo at some point too...you don't want to have to get all decent just in case they've had the same idea. I hated that - having to put a lot of clothes back on just in case his housemate was headed to the loo at the same time.
  12. Parsley
    Rubbish. Of course women need help to get through this, just as much as men! Are you saying that therapy is a completely redundant practise? Everyone needs help and support. Why are you on these forums if you can 'get through life all alone'? My ex boyfriend was 6 years older than me, with a full time job. I was a student. I paid for every visit I made to him, my food while I stayed with him, food for him sometimes, bus fare for us when we went out. I sent him things to cheer him up. The most I received in our relationship was a coke. I know a lot of people in relationships with older people and none of them 'mooch' like you think so many of them do. Do NOT make generalisations like that. It's just going to alienate you from a lot of people who do not share your views, which you will probably find is the majority.
  13. Parsley
    I agree, let him make the decision to contact you again. If you keep making the first move everytime you 'coming on strong' will be the way he sees you all the time.
  14. Parsley
    Yay! It's always nice to see posts about people feeling good! I'm glad NC worked out for you
  15. Parsley
    My ex dropped a whole group of friends at the drop of the hat - kind of a warning for me which I ignored, as he dumped me a couple of months later in what seems to be a similar way. He decided this guy and his brother (one whom he had gone to secondary school with, the other who was in his band) weren't good enough friends, and just stopped talking to them after one email explaining what was going to happen. Really awkward for me, I'm friends with the brother and one of my best friends is really close to him too (kind of how the ex and I got together). Lucky for me now, him doing that alienated any mutual friends we had, so I don't have to deal with that, and now they're all on my side no matter what, teehee!
  16. Parsley
    It must be so horrible to know that he is going through that - but I agree with Honey, that there isn't much you can do here. Respect his decision and stay strong and away from him. I would try not to talk to people that could give you any 'updates' on him, it will just hurt you more. Again as Honey said, his friends have noticed that things aren't right, and with any luck they are the kind of people who he can talk to, and will give him the advice that he needs right now. Difficult as it is, try to focus on getting yourself together again. This is just as hard on you, if not harder. x
  17. Parsley
    Scrembledeggs - focusing on a trip works very well! I had a break up last April, and just focused on starting uni in september and all the amazing things that would come with that. I left my course, but am starting back at the same uni with a different course in September - which I should be looking forward to as well but I haven't. Think of all the different things that could happen and all the people you'll meet. It does help! (thanks for reminding me that I have uni to look forward to now
  18. Parsley
    Wahey! I'm glad for you, and that you're not rushing into anything. Judging by how I feel at the moment, that must take some restraint. I hope things turn out for me the same as they have for you! xx
  19. Parsley
    The reactions from my uni friends when I say I'm going to visit them. When my nephew falls asleep in my arms. Anything my sister does. I love her so much. There are a lot of things that made me feel loved with my ex, but I don't want to list them, because I don't want to remember those times and get sad.
  20. Parsley
    Mine was with a guy I'd been with for about 2 weeks, but had been as good as for a month before that. He wasn't a virgin. I finally managed to convince him to watch Moulin Rouge, though he kept talking through it, then during the credits everything got all heated up. Can't really remember much...just that it didn't hurt as much as I'd thought it would, more uncomfortable than anything else. Didn't bleed. Better first experience than most I think! I'm thinking that because he made sure I'd had an orgasm before we did it, it meant I was a lot calmer and all that jazz. Only thing I really miss about him. He was faaaaantastic in bed. *sigh* apart from that he was a total...you get it.
  21. Parsley
    What of my identity did I lose to my ex? My innocence (in both senses). Before him, my previous ex and I had a very loving relationship, but the whole time we pretty much might as well have been friends. So when I met this guy it was a big shock to the system to be with someone that I got on with so amazingly well but also made me feel 'wanted' you know? I don't regret that I lost my virginity to him...I'm just sad that this person I completely revealed everything about myself to, decided he just didn't want to see anymore. I'm sad that the way he's gone about this and stuff I've found out since has made me feel incredibly cheap, and utterly used. How have I improved? Well...I've lost my innocence. There are obviously plenty of things I'm still going to be incredibly naive about - I'm 18 for god's sake!! But now that I've had my first real heartbreak, the first taste of how life and love just isn't the fairytale we're spoonfed from our childhood, I think I'm going to make some better decisions. I've learnt that when your instincts tell you something, there's a reason. I've learnt not to be a complete pushover, and that if someone's made their made up, nothing I can say will change that, it has to come from them.
  22. Parsley
    Pisces - I keep reminding myself that I'm 18. Everyday I tell myself that I'm not even in my 20s yet, that I have 3 years ahead of me in uni, in which I will meet new people every single day. That even after that, I'll only be 22 when I graduate, and I'll still have all these opportunities to meet new people. I've got an idea at the moment of working or living in Canada or somewhere in the States after uni. Who knows? You are clearly going to find someone fantastic. I don't see how it could work any other way! I've read your posts from the start and it's obvious that you are an incredibly loving person. The number of times I've read on these forums that the fact that we are hurting so much proves that our love is amazing, and that anyone would be lucky to have us! That definitely includes you. You are an amazing woman. Boston - Ooh! Check you!! I am loving you being all "Pfuit"
  23. Parsley
    Hey Pisces - Medway is cloudy, get a bit of sun every so often, but it's still a bit nippy! Looking back 30 days doesn't seem that long at all does it? At the time it seems like the longest time in the world, but now it seems like nothing. I just realised that tomorrow will be 2 months since he dumped me and...hm. Feels a bit bizarre really. I realised almost instantly that there was no way I could still love him. It may feel like it...but when I love someone I trust them with everything I am and respect and look up to them. What I was feeling wasn't love anymore it was like a shadow of it. It seems true that you don't realise how much you love someone until they don't love you. I didn't really realise just how strongly I felt for him until I had to face the inequalities...you know? Him doing everything he did made me look at our whole relationship, and it was obvious that I'd felt a lot more for him than he had for me. Which is sad, but nevermind, I shall just keep trying to (truly) accept that and maybe next time I won't leap in with both feet. You know what I found myself thinking earlier? "I wish there was someone I could even consider rebounding on" It's like...I don't want to actually get into a relationship now, but I just want there to be someone I fancy to reassure myself that my heart still works, despite having been broken.
  24. Parsley
    Rosie - Shaker is absolutely right. Anytime any break up occurs, it forces you to think. Posting on here every day about progress forces you to think anymore, and you also have all of us here as sounding boards for your theories about everything, and if you're anything like me, you have a million of them floating around in your head. You do belong here, I can't even begin to calculate how much this place has helped me. I don't even want to contemplate what state I'd be in now if I hadn't found these boards and this challenge. I wouldn't have had my pride telling me that I didn't want to have to tell you all that I'd contacted him. Is there any part of you that feels like that? If anything has helped me through more than anything else it's my own pride. Pisces - Not long now! I've said it before and I'll say it again, appealing to the basic human instinct to be competitive was a stroke of genius. Any plans or are you just going to sail through the day? x Shadow - Aldi is one of those uber cheap shops. It's great. When I was buying that chocolate, I was stood at the till, and they were selling some cans of lager for 65p lol mariab. - Thank you My aim in life
  25. Parsley
    I didn't tell my mum and have absolutely no intention of doing so. I'm fairly certain she thinks I have anyway - but with someone who I never actually slept with! She doesn't need to know. There will inevitably be a point when she knows I have without me having to tell her, and I'm happy to keep it that way. I didn't tell her I got a tattoo either. It's in a place where I'd have to show her it, so she'd never see it accidentally. Maybe one day I'll tell her about it...who knows? I agree that if she asks, don't lie. But if she doesn't, nevermind! If my mum asked me I wouldn't lie to her. I don't think she'd be happy about it either (catholic upbringing here - eep). I hope that she doesn't ask if it was with my first boyfriend who I was with for 2.5 years and was only 2 days older than me. It wasn't. It was with the guy I was with for 4.5 months and was 6 years older than me.
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