Please read all of this....PLEASE....
I'm truly lost inside.
Here's my issue....
Theres Girl "G"....she and I have loved each other for soo long. We've been off and on before in the past, and we are currently dating for the 3rd time. I love her sooo much and she's the only girl I've ever been with.
Theres Girl "S".....I met her last spring, when girl G and I were no longer talking to each other. Girl 'S' and i became great friends. we hung out all the time. into the summer as well. she seemed to be the perfect person. she listened to my problems, and was soo interpersonal, like i am.
the story goes like this....
last february, i thought to myself, not matter how hard i tried, Girl G and i were never going to get back together. after 3 years, she had seemed to move on, and was dating another guy. so i did something i'd thought about doing for such a long time. i switched to a school in the city, where i could get extra curricular activies and better education.
when i was there, i met Girl S. her and i hit it off right from the beginning. we were such great friends. we hung out all the time, told each other everything! we were best friends! she seemed sooo perfect too. she was soo much like me. we always seemed to know what we were thinking, and we were addicted to each other.
but then early on in the summer, she told me that she liked me more then a friend, and i did too, but i never really thought of anything ever happening between us....but i liked the thought of it. unfortunatley, she told me this right before she left for a 2 week vacation with her family.
those two weeks, i thought about nothing more then just how great it would be to be more then friends with her. how she is everything i ever wanted, and she was gonna be the one that would finally get me over girl 'G'.
but when she got back, she had another idea. she felt like she wasnt ready for a relationship, and that she just wanted to be friends. this caused so major coflicts between us...and we ended up fighting non-stop. and eventually we ended our friendship.
then it happened.
girl "G" randomly talks to me on msn, and then we hit it off one night. we talk all night long. and before u know it were hanging out, and then eventually once again going out.
this was everything i wanted! she was finally back! time and time again, i missed her, and i had pretty much given up, and then she somehow comes back. for a third time we r back together.
everything goes well early on. our relationship together was better then ever.
we hung out non-stop. we couldnt be separated. except, for that i stayed at the city school, which girl "G" was quite alright with.
then girl "s" texts me one day. says shes sorry for everything and she misses her best friend soo much. and she took the blame for everything....this downright shocked me. i thought she was sooo mad at me. and done with me. i didnt answer right away, but eventually, we started talking again...and we became like we used to. talking non-stop. seeing each other at school.
i never let girl "g" (whos now my gf) know that i was talking to girl "s" again. i didnt feel as if i was doing anything wrong though. her and i were just casual friends now. and girls "s" knew i had a my old g/f back too.
despite knowing that, she expressed her feelings for me, and said she was soo sorry, and that she wanted to be more then friends with me. and that she really really loved me...
so here i am now...
trying to figure out what i want.
theres girl "g", my g/f. the one i wanted for sooo long. but then got over (thanks to girl "s")...but then it seemed like "fait" brought her back. we connectsooo well. soo many memories with her for the last 4 years. she lives 5 minutes away, but i find it more difficult to see her during the week and some weekends.... but we but if i say goodbye to her now, i am saying goodbye to bascially the greater part of my last 4 years... i am giving up on her forever. becaz its senior year....and shes graduatin...
then theres girl "s"...the one i connected with sooo welll...the one who seems to be perfect for me. the one who loves me soo much, and is soo interpersonal, which i love. she also goes to the same school, and it better suits my life style as far as same friends. but she lives an hour away...
really...what do i do?
i love both of these girls sooo much.
i cant have both. not even girl "s" as a friend, if i choose girl "g". i've tried and its been too hard. i have to choose one....but who?
understanding my history with both, what do u guys think?
i really need someones advice....i honestly this is mentally effecting my everday life.