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gfein347

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Everything posted by gfein347

  1. gfein347
    Never has cheating crossed my mind. I think there are plenty of guys out there who cheat and plenty who don't, and the same can be said for girls. Sweeping generalizations and stereotypes are rarely accurate. (I do, however, realize the irony that my last sentence is a sweeping generalization
  2. gfein347
    So I guess I'm going to be the first person in this thread to vouch for planning. I literally plan every minute of every day, and I can't be happy if something is open-ended. For me, if I don't have it planned, it won't get done, and if for some reason I do have free time, I never know how to use it. To answer ladybugg's question on the benefits of planning, I believe that my planning has made me extremely productive and extremely stressed at the same time. Also, I should note that if you like to plan things, it would be best to be in a relationship with someone who likes to plan things as well. My girlfriend likes to be spontaneous, and I know that her plans for the day can change at any second. Hence, I always find myself writing down lots of contingency plans in case they do.
  3. gfein347
    now_better: I've had a similar experience. I love math and physics, and during my senior year of high school, I decided to intern at a middle school teaching math. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get these kids to pay attention. It seems learning algebra simply wasn't a priority for them. Another thing I noticed was that I had a greater success rate when my lessons were along the lines of "this is how you do it" rather than "this is why it works". I can only speak for the US, but I believe that public schools here have taught students to learn information, pass the test, and forget it. Would you agree? -gfein
  4. gfein347
    FiguredOut: I'm only 18, so I'm not going to pretend to have the wisdom or knowledge to give you advice. I hope you'll listen to others who post here on how to get your education on track. I can, however, help you with math (or physics). If you ever need help in one of these areas, feel free to PM me. I log onto this site almost every day. -gfein
  5. gfein347
    barbiegurl: It's quite a coincidence you asked this today, I just got done reading an article about it. I'm a guy, and I couldn't understand either why some guys cheat. The thought has never even crossed my mind, and I think those that cheat in relationships are despicable. Hope the article helps, the link is below: link removed
  6. gfein347
    Rainbowprincess: Hello and welcome to ENA! In regards to your problem, I think you probably have a red flag. Given the way he phrased it, it sounds like he doesn't respect you. "I want..." sounds more like a command than a suggestion, which is clearly not a sign of respect. I would tell him that you feel disrespected when he says things like that, and you won't tolerate being commanded to change your appearance (or to do anything!). That's just my take on it, from a guy's perspective. -gfein
  7. gfein347
    Hi all, I'm sure my situation is not unique, but I could really use some help. In my junior year of high school, I entered into my first relationship, which lasted three months. Ultimately, it ended because my girlfriend at the time cheated on me. About a year later, I entered into my second relationship with a girl who's everything I could ever ask for. We've now been together for 14 months, but I still can't trust her completely. Anytime she talks to other guys, I feel uneasy, and if I don't know where she is, I'm always a nervous wreck. I love her so much, and I want so badly to trust her completely, but I just don't know how. I've made the hypothesis that my issues stem from placing too much trust in my ex, and getting cheated on. Now, I know my girlfriend would never cheat on me, but I still can't seem to shake that nervous feeling I get when she's with other guys. There is one wrinkle to the situation I should make everyone aware of. Now that we are freshman in college, my girlfriend wants to be able to go drink and party with her friends, and she asked me to be in an open relationship so she could dance with other guys at parties. We agreed she could go as far as making out with other guys, but no further. Needless to say, this development has not helped my issues with trust. Has anyone else had this experience, or does anyone know how I can overcome this?
  8. gfein347
    Azual: I have similar trust issues. While the specifics of my situation are different, the general idea is the same. My girlfriend has given me every reason to trust her, and I still can't do it 100%. I wish I could help you, but I'm going through the same thing. Maybe some people here know how to handle this.
  9. gfein347
    laboheme: It's good to hear you're feeling better and everything went well with your presentation. If you ever need to talk, you can PM me if you like.
  10. gfein347
    How long ago was your last physical? It seems that if you were once active, and now you're unable to walk up 5 flights of stairs without shortness of breath, that's definitely a red flag. People tend to know their bodies fairly well, and if something truly seems wrong, it probably is. I would seek out a doctor.
  11. gfein347
    I think the issue may be that you guys handle stress differently. While your reward is seeing him, maybe his reward is being able to relax alone for awhile. Like melrich said, this is probably his way of "recharging his batteries." My girlfriend exhibits similar behavior on occasion, and says she just wants to be alone, but I know that she loves me and this is nothing to be worried about. What's most important is how he treats you when you're together. If he's good to you, and he loves you, I don't think you have much to worry about. As a side note, I happen to be more like you, where I want my girlfriend by my side when I'm stressed. But, we all handle stress in different ways. Best of luck.
  12. gfein347
    New Horizons: From what I know about dreams, they are made up of material that already exists in your brain. So maybe the reason the dream keeps ending before you kiss the girl is because you've never kissed her in real life, so your brain doesn't "know how" to dream it. I used to dream about kissing my girlfriend, and before we actually kissed, the dream would end. After we had kissed a few times, then the dream wouldn't end anymore. Just a thought. To the OP: I'm not sure any of us are qualified to say but it's an interesting thought. Just curious, what religion are you?
  13. gfein347
    Dako: Do you mean Branford Marsalis?
  14. gfein347
    laboheme: You are most definitely not worthless. I'm relatively new here, but I've come accross some of your posts, and you always have great advice to help people. Also, I'm sure your friends and family would be devastated if you were gone. When I was going through a particularly bad spurt of depression, and was contemplating suicide, my girlfriend told me, "if you kill yourself, it will hurt every person who has ever known you." I think that statement is true for almost everyone. If you were no longer alive, everyone that has ever had the pleasure of knowing you will feel pain because they know they can never see you again. I would feel pain, and I've never even met you. As far as becoming a musty-smelling old cat lady, you're only twenty, and I don't think you need to worry. I'm two years younger than you, and I think it's safe to say that both of us have tons of time before we need to worry about having too many feline friends and not enough human ones. Best of luck with your presentation, and I know you'll do great. If you post on this thread and tell everyone how it went, I'll be sure to come back tomorrow and check it.
  15. gfein347
    Wow, I overlooked your age when I posted my first reply. At 17, I don't think you're quite ready to have sex. I'm only 18, and I personally feel that teenagers have no business having sex. However, if you do decide that you're ready, please be safe!!
  16. gfein347
    Virgoldy: I'm just curious, who broke up with whom in your relationship? Also, I agree with the others who have said that it probably isn't a good idea to send this letter to your ex.
  17. gfein347
    I agree with 4ever. Though it's completely understandable to be a little nervous, being as nervous as you are means you probably aren't as ready as you think. Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you feel?
  18. gfein347

    Wow!

    gfein347 replied to Mike88's topic in Personal Growth

    Mike: Welcome to enotalone! Like everyone said, you're very fortunate that everything worked out for your family. I am a freshman in college now, and I understand your situation. My brother is 10, and we never really spent that much time together, but I think going away to school has made us closer, because when we do get to see each other, it makes us appreciate that time a lot more. Especially if you are already close with your brother, I'm sure you guys will have lots of fun when you get together. You're a junior in high school, so I assume you have some idea about schools you might like to attend. Are you looking at schools close to home or farther away? My school is close to home, and I see my family about once every two weeks, but if you're going to school farther away, I know that phone conversations are really important to staying in touch. I once talked on the phone with my brother for an hour because we hadn't seen each other in awhile. And like everyone said, talking to your family about this might not be such a bad idea. From what you wrote, I can tell that your family loves you and will definitely reassure you if you're still having these concerns down the road.
  19. gfein347
    Like MoneyGod said, I usually stay away from poetry, but your poem really made me wish I was with my girlfriend. I'm sure your fiance will love it. Well done!
  20. gfein347
    Well the first time I told my girlfriend I loved her, was after we had watched a movie in her basement and were cuddling on the couch. We were about three months into the relationship, and I just whispered in her ear "I love you." She said it back, but later told me it didn't feel quite right, and she was afraid of saying it too early. I told her that was fine, and then about a month later a similar situation came up, where I felt the urge to say it, but instead I said, "I care so much about you." Then she just hugged me really tight and told me she was ready to say it, so we both did.
  21. gfein347
    Morphiushell- Welcome to eNotAlone. I am a newcomer myself. As for your problem, I have experienced something similar. My girlfriend and I have had problems in the past, and she almost left me. I asked her to tell me what her ideal relationship was, and she told me, and then I asked her how we could make our relationship closer to the ideal. We talked for a really long time and came up with specific things for each of us to change because we both were unhappy at the time. Any time there started to be a relapse (there will be at first, because change takes time) we would just gently remind ourselves what we had agreed to. I'm not saying to take your girlfriend back, because all situations are different. However, if you do take her back, make sure she knows what specifically you're unhappy with, and make sure she's willing to make the effort to change. If you see she's truly making the effort, then she really cares about you, and help her along. If it's still not working, then I think it may be time to call it quits. I hope I've helped. -gfein
  22. gfein347
    Fisch- Thanks so much for the advice. I've invited her to go swing dancing with me on Fiday night, and then to a party afterwards, and I'm gonna make sure we both have an awesome time. Since her and I have discussed this issue at length several times, do you think I ought to not bring it up again and appear like I've forgotten it entirely? -gfein
  23. gfein347
    Fisch- I believe based on some discussions I've had with my girlfriend I can answer your question. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about a year. In high school, we were with each other constantly. Now, at separate schools (only 20 minutes away), we see each other much less, usually only two or three times a week. During high school and the summer, she was hardly exposed to any guys at all, because we were always together. At college, she sees guys daily. She mentioned to me that one of them flirted with her, and she got that rush you get when someone new flirts with you. Since this was her first time experiencing that in a year, it caught her kind of by surprise. She didn't flirt back or anything, but she said the thought occurred to her that she would never experience those feelings again if we got married someday, and she was worried that later in life she'd regret missing out on college. I don't fully understand it, but maybe you'll have better luck than me. --gfein
  24. gfein347
    xLDx- Your questions are welcome; I'm just glad I've found people that are willing to help. The answers are: (1) We are local-our schools are about 20 minutes away (2) As far as frequency of communication goes, we talk on the phone every day if we dont see each other in person (3) Regarding the depth of the communication, we've discussed the incident many times. We've discussed whether to continue with the open relationship, and we've even discussed whether we should stay together. Ultimately we've decided to be exclusive and stay together. She's also told me that she regrets having made out with that guy in the first place. (laboheme, I believe the third answer also addresses the point you made in your post.) Even though she's told me she regrets it, I'm still depressed almost every single day and just can't seem to get it out of my head. xLDx, I hope those answers help. --gfein
  25. gfein347
    Mythical Suicide- I guess I should've added this to begin with, but we're currently not in an open relationship because she saw how badly I was hurt when this incident occurred. I'm still having an awful time getting over it though.
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