eleanorrigby1

I like to see my friends too so I have no trouble with spending time apart from my fella. Does she not ave any friends of her own? if not this would explain things. These relationships rarely work because she is dependant upon you to be her entire social network and she sounds like she isnt too keen on her own company. Maybe say to her "Hey I was thinking of going out with the boys this weekend? gives you a chance to go out with your girl friends, Im looking forward to a lads night out" If she loves you and needs you as much as she says, she may sulk but she wont break up with you. You need to put your foot down and say "i WANT to go out with my friends, I love you and I love being with you but it doesnt mean that I dont if I want to spend time away from you.. why are you so insecure?" she may then open up and explain her feelings. be patient, be sweet, be loving, but be firm! you cannot lose yourself in this relationship or neglect your needs or you could become resentful. Its tantamount to emotionall blackmail what she is doing even though its without intent or malice, you are letting her get away with it and so this behaviour will continue. You can't be her saviour, her all, her night and day and she needs to realise that for her OWN good. You are stll very young and need to keep hold of your friends, dont risk losing them.

My brother met his girlfriend at a similar age and their relationship lasted 5 years. People were initially concerned because she was underage. If you wait until she is 16 before you embark on a sexual relationship and prove to her parents that you genuinly care for her then you will be fine. Enjoy it and look after each other : )

Wow Scout you are good to have around!! Im sorry that I didnt take the time to check into the history of this relationship. Sarah, this is right about it hurting no matter what time of the year it is and EVERYONE feels lonely at this time of year, even those who normally consider themselves happily single.

I am so sorry that this has happened and you are right, I d know how horrible I felt it when I too broke up with someone i loved and needed in my life and that too was around Christmas. Its painful. There is no sure fire way to 'win' someone back. Free will, we cannot make someone want us, love us, come bak. all you can do is tell him how you feel and hope that he feels the same. Tell him that you love him and want him back, that you figure true love should be able to work despite the distance. that the distance is just an obstacle that your love CAN overcome. That you believe in you and him, that you are asking for the same from him. All he can do is say, yes or no. Good luck

be grateful if goes on your breasts and is in proportion. I know how it feels, I am a bra size 34J! my waist is a 14 and my hips are a 16. weight wise i'm very overweight, but to look at me most men say i am sexy and curvy. most of my friends that are overwight pile it on their bums and thighs and continue to have no bust. believe me i know its horrid when you dont want big boobs and people say "loads of people would pay thousands for yours!!" and builders shout "blimey!! you dont get many of them in a pound!!" (or is that just an English thing? ha ha) Concentrate on losing weight all over (i dont! i'm hopeless!) and your bust will decrease. x

If you buy her jewellery to say "thanks but no thanks" thats kinda hurtful she might throw it back in your face, or forever it will be a constant reminder that you didnt want her. You dont want to waste your money. I think you should go with the DVD or CD that she likes

THANK YOU!! You have made me feel better. I lied too. I have struggled with it, I posted here at the time called WHITE LIE, the advice was LIE!!! ha ha He would probably think less of me, i know for a fACT it would damage our relationship and its too precious to lose because of mistakes i made in the past when i wasnt always so lucky in love.

I wrote a poem on a similar theme called Not Her I posted it a couple of days. THat poem to me is what this is to you, full of pain and anguish and a painful reminder of feeling second best. I liked it.

I remember me and my bestest friends in the whole world, the four of us would do everything together. we seemed eternally single and we used to joke that when we were 35 if we were still single we would jointly buy a pub and run it together. We used to say we would all live in a big house with lots of cats and laugh, taking the mickey. I used to stay over so often their parents would say "is she okay? having trouble at home?" ha ha Then one got a boyfriend, she didnt come out as much, the three of us missed her, then another got a boyfriend and it became only two of us on the majority of the nights out. Then the two with boyfriends moved in with their fellas, far away and whenever they had time for us it was for "A night in with abottle of wine..." gone were the days of pub crawls, clubs, partying. Then number 3 got a boyfriend and I was alone. I began a college course in the evenings, I moved out on my own into my own place. I felt extremely lonely, felt like I had been left behind, that my friends were moving on with their lives but i was being left behind. Other friends I had were having kids or moving away, or we just drifted apart as you do when you get older I had a hard time dealing with the end of an era, the end of the way the friendships had been. I then met my current boyfriend. I still get scared that if anything happened in my relationship i might have to go back to being lonely again. me and my friends now find its become like a military operation to get the four of us in the same room for just one night every other month! its a nightmare. We are trying to organise a christmas night out, (years ago we ere inseperable for the whole thing) but now we cant seem to agree on a date when we are all free. its painful, but its life, its the way it happens. Dont feel left behind, know that you too are moving on with yournlife, thats your responsibilty, dont wait to be rescued or sit wasting time being envious or bitter. get out there and make your life move on too... friendships change, but they dont have to end.

I didn't do this with any boyfriend until I was 23 and madly in love for what i considered the first time, regardless of the relationships before. I had always been very very scared and I remember seriously thinking about it a lot before I did it. I wa scared it wouldnt smell nice, or taste nice, I was scared i might gag and be sick and then make the guy feel like cr*p. in the end I tried it and liked it, but then i think that was because i loved him so much. After that I only again did it with my current boyfriend who i now live with, because i happen to think its a VERY VERY intimate thing. Give her some time, dont make her feel pressured, dont mention it. If after 6 months she STILL hasnt done that, but done other things, then ask her what it is she is afraid of.

You say you have been with him for a few months? how long is that? do you live together? and you like him to return home to you after a night out? what is it you have an issue with? do you not trust his fidelity to be staying somewhere else? what is your problem with this? When I go out on a big girls night out with my friends, sometimes we stay over at each other's house. I text my boyfriend (who i live with) to let him know i got in safe and then I make my way home the following day. He went out at weekend with some friends and he stayed over there, I had my friends stay over with me. Maybe if you made yourself busy on the nights he went out and stayed out with his mates you wouldnt be bothered. Im sorry if I have got it wrong, but Im not sure what your problem is? I would go mad if my boyfriend issued me with a curfew or a rule, he is my 'partner' not my boss. I love him and he loves me, we trust each other. If I go on a night out, I do NOT have to report to him! Unless you have children, you think he might cheat, or you are married and find it unaceptable for a husband to stay out on the p*ss then I don't think you should be setting RULES for him, you are not his mother. sorry if that sounds harsh its just my honest opinion. x

I think in the beginning of a 'new' relationship, its hard to distinguish between real feelings and the giddiness of 'new' 'honeymoon'. I have gone on dates with guys and after a few weeks thought "he is the greatest, I really like him, really falling for him..." only to change my mind the week after. Imagine if I had of told him? I had a guy tell me at the end of our first date that he was 'smitten' with me. Texted me when he got home to say he was happy and couldnt wait to see me again. After about a month he told me he loved me. I said it back. I totally fell for him, a couple of months later he tells me he isnt over his ex. He isnt inlove with me. He is sorry... That has happened to me a couple of times actually. There is a danger to both people when revealing 'feelings' too soon, because I don't personally believe you really know what those 'feelings' are until you have been with that person for at least 3 months. Just my opinion x

Do I merely exist in the shadow of another woman? Clawing for the light… for the escape, the way back… Or forward… sometimes I can't remember. I'm striving for perfection at the expense of my self respect Close to tears, aching to breathe, holding my stomach Shaking my head and swearing to myself Hating myself, yet not wanting to give up Ignoring my own better judgement and the advice of others. I can't let go I cannot stop… not now that I have come so far… Not now that I feel so much… I think if I can just convince you Make you see.. See 'ME'… Ignoring the future, denying the present imprisoned in the past, YOUR past. Unable to break through I stand outside your wall banging my fists in frustration Asking and begging for you to love me will I always envy the one that I hate And that you only wish you did? And yet you just look… And when you do look at me, is all that you see, that I am not her?

my friend, a female rang me the other week, the same thing, she had gone on 'their' computer and found that her boyfriend had downloaded some porn in exactly the same genre as you found on your girlfriends. she was freaked out, said she was devestated, freaked out, felt ill, didnt know if she wanted to be with him "is this the kind of man i want to marry!" total shock. I think her fear stemmed from feeling not good enough. "I dont do that for him, does that mean he will look eleswhere? does that mean im crap i bed and he has to go and look at other pictures to get him going? what if he leads a double life..." She talked to him about it in the end. He said he was curious, looked it up. They discussed it together. she decided to let him tie her up. she isnt into being hurt, but she doesnt mind the odd nibble. compromise. relationships are about compromise. you need to think about what upset you so much. It isnt just the porn, there is something beneath it. as yourself what is beneath this feeling, what is the feeling, how does it make you feel? what hurts? Talk to her.

I always think this is a very painful reality. I see my ex around, we walk past each other and pretend we didnt see each other. Its awkward for that second then its passed. I used to trust this person with everything, he knows things about me that I dont think he deserves to know now and I wish when we broke up with someone we could take not only our CDs back but our conversations. Its painful.

I cried so hard i vomited. I then went to the shop bought a packet of cigarettes and chain smoked while asking everyone that would listen "why?> why? i dont understand why?" going over the break up conversation constantly, crying, vomiting, drinking large quantities of wine. sleep, wake, drink, cry, vomit, smoke. This lasted for about three days. I went back to work, got busy, met my friends at lunch time, went to their houses for tea in the evening, anything to keep me busy. I couldnt eat properly for weeks. Then I went on holiday for a week, last minute deal to Magaluf, got drunk every night, had a holiday fling, had fun with my best mate, came home, applied to college, got my name down on the housing list, began the plan to move out on my own. Got my own flat a few months later, started my college course, stayed single for two years. I am not a year into a relationship, living with my new boyfriend, in my final year of my degree and loving life! It takes time, it took me YEARS to properly recover, but I did. Find something you want to do, a goal (Like me with my degree and moving out of my parents house) and it gives you a future (without them) to plan. Good luck x

You know I have heard it said that sometimes men (not generalising here) take off where they left off. They think "I havent time to go through the whole dating, then loving, then 'talking about moving in together' lets just do it already!!" My brother was in a relationship for five years, he and her talked of getting a mortgage, moving in together, it never happened, they split up. He met someone else and within months they got a flat together. They are still together now, its been a year, but Im not entirely convinced he is over his other girlfriend, merely just 'replaced' her. He has attempted to replace you, but I dont think he has succeeded. He obviosly cant bear to be alone if he needs someone to move in so soon after you have left. Thats his problem not yours and I know that doesnt ease your pain. I feel for you i really, console yourself in the fact that although he is with someone else, he isnt happy.

How long since you broke up? sometimes it feels this way when we are still harbouring feelings, still hurting, still missing, still love them. I remember thinking my ex was the fittest man ever, he was gorgeous! I couldnt believe he was mine! When we broke up I said to everyone, "I will never love anyone as much as him, what if I dont ever get another man i find as attractive?!" It took me two years. I went on dates and I confess I did compare people. I compared dates, I compared their actions, their teeth, the way they did things, he always came out good. Then I finally got over him. I met someone else and I currently think he is the fittest man ever and I actually believe that I love him more than Ive ever loved anyone. If this doesnt work out, perhaps one day I will be saying the same things about someone else. What I am saying is, life moves on, eventually, the pain lessens and you begin to notice other people. Don't make the mistakes I made and compare everyone to her. No one deserves that. Have faith that you will feel those things about someone else. One day.

I have really heavy periods with clots and I am aneamic constantly because of this. I get dizzy, sick, vomit, diareahh (sp?!) when I get my period. I have also spent many night crying wimpering on my hands and knees in the bathroom with my mobile phone next to me incase I need to ring for help. It can be quite terrifying when it happens. It does sound like you suffered from slight shock but I think also you maybe had a panic attack. sounds really scary! Im glad you are okay.x

When my ex dumped me. He did it because he didnt love me. He wasnt cruel really, It just hurt a lot when he said "I dont love you, I've tried, Im sorry..." I was devestated but I didnt want him to know! anyway for a few weeks he would see my friends around and say "hows eleanor?" and they would say "oh she's fine, great yeah, I'll tell her you said Hi.." After a couple of weeks he said to my friend "You know I gotta admit, I got a bit of a bruised ego.. she doesnt seem too bothered...." He didnt want me, he didnt love me. but he wanted me to want him and love him and miss him. GRRRR

When I was younger, I had a boyfriend that didnt like going out, he used to say "why cant we just sit in and watch a film have a drink? be romantic?" i used to think "Because we live once and i want to go and dance my feet off and laugh my *rse off and get all dolled up!" He never wanted to go out, so I would go out without him with my friends and he would drop me off and then text me constantly and then pick me up. DROVE ME MAD! One night I begged him to come out with me, prove how much fun it would be. He spent the whole time sitting by the side of the dancefloor accusing every man that walked past of fancying me. In the end he said "I want to go home!" I said "Okay then BYE!" and I stayed while he went home. Our 'relationship' ended that night. Moral of the story, you can't tell someone else what to do, or try to change them, or hope that they may see things your way. She is a woman, she wants to have fun with her friends. She isnt doing anything wrong. If you can't accept that, then find someone like you.

I get a rash in the same place when i eat something im allergic to, I also get it on my sides. like little red spots? ezcema type things? I cut out wheat and dairy and started taking Omega 3 capsules and my skin is perfect now. Bath lotions and fake tans and new moisturisors sometimes cause them. Also you can build up an allergy to something you have always used. I always used fake tan as a teenager and then i had a bad reaction when i was 21 and never used it again. E45 used liberally is amazing! i always have a big pot of it at home. for any skin condition, its non-steroidal so does no damage.

I had a similar breakup with my ex. I thought everything was great, we never argued, we told each other we loved each other, he came to mine on the Wednesday we lay on bed holding each other all night watching TV, then Thursday he calls me says he is going out with his mate, he rings me later that evening to see how I am, sys "i love you goodnight". The next morning, Friday, he rings me says he wants to meet at lunch, I go meet him. He doesnt kiss me, he takes me into a pub and says "I cant give you what you want" I said "what?!" he says "I think you are great and lovely and everything..." I said "but you dont love me?" he shakes his head and says "I love you, but im not INLove with you" I said "oh okay..." stared past his head briefly, wanting to ask him why, I said "but we never argued, we got on great, I feel like ive been the pefect girlfriend to you?" he says to me "If you went out and bought me a ferarri it wouldnt make me love you" even now, years later those words still sting and cause some pain. I said "well I cant sit here and talk to you anymore" he says "I want us to be friends, i want to be able to call you up for a chat, meet for lunch" I ignored him and left, heard him shout "sorry!" I never saw him again from that day to this, THREE YEARS ago. You know something at first I kept saying "I dont understand?why why?" After a few days i realised the signs had been there from the beginning, it had been a non-relationship in many ways for the duration. Love blinds us and sometimes we don't see it until we aren't so blinded. You will see soon enough that it just wasnt meant to be and you dont need to ask her for a reason. You sound strong and okay, I think you have already been through your MAJOR heartbreak (When your relationship of 3 years ended) and after that, in my opinion, the ones that follow are easier to deal with. Still painful, but not as all consuming tragic. Dont contact her, move on.

Wow I am so sorry for you, I really don't know what to say. I think its extremely unfortunate that you say you have no friends, have you always been that way? is there a reason? most people make at least one friend in school or at work, do you have difficulty trusting people or allowing them to get close to you? It sounds like you took a big risk with this girl, allowing her to become your everything, but in doing so, can you say why without her you now feel you have nothing? no one can have that responsibility especially not a young girl. No one can become your 'everything' you have to have other thing in your life around so that you are not making the other person responsible for how you feel. I know it is hard when you love someone so much and you adore them. In my opinion, your relationship with this girl is over, she is young and I can understand that she wants to experience life, she didnt mean to hurt you, i think the main priority for you know is to start trusting other people and not let this incident break that part of you that took a risk, you need to go out and try and make some friends, expand your horizons. You also say that you didnt go out with her, that she went out with her mates and you spent your weekends in? Do you not like going out? Not even just once a month, let your hair down, have a drink have a dance? She called you her 'old man' boyfriend? how did that make you feel? Could you have seen it working forever with such a conflict of interests? she had a whole life going on which you were part of, but you had made her your whole life, it wasnt equal, can you see that?

You need to change your pill darling its messing about with your hormones. I took a pill for an entire year, it was great, i loved it, it stopped my periods so I could have uninterrupted sex with my boyfriend, no pain, no pmt, nothing, then suddenly after a whole year i had a period, it was painful and horrible and I suffered terrible mood swings. After that period ended my PMT didnt seem to go away. I was crying all the time , i was aggressive, moody, people in work said i was intimidating and angry all the time, my swearing was noted by my boss. My boyfriend would ask me what film i wanted to watch and i would say "nothing they are all sh * t i hate them all!!" he would say "you hate everything?" and I would laugh because i realised how i sounded but my concentration was low and i just couldnt be bothered with anything! Then I started saying i was unhapy in my job, unhapy in my life... finally i went to the docs and he said my hormones werea bit haywire, gave me a new pill. Ive been on it one month and already i feel better! normal, more like me and im happy with my life again! thank god!! go see your doc!