eleanorrigby1

he actors are 17 and 24 and I am 30!! in real life I wouldn't even glance at a boy that young but its the characters rather than the actors themselves that do it for me.. I only fancy Rpatz as Edward! I was in hospital a few weeks ago and the midwife who was looking after me was 47 and she was OBSESSED with the Twilight books and films and said that a group of midwives actually organised 'twlight' and 'new moon' nights and would get together to 'perv' over the guys!! they are young enough to be her sons!! ha ha

oooh lovely poem!! are we talking about Twilight? I was definitely a werewolf girl when reading the books! he he but a vampire girl when watching the film!! I dream cheated with Robert Pattinson the other night.. I told my partner, he just laughed and said 'naughty!!' he he

People have the right to chose their own friends and whether they are deemed 'good' or 'bad' friends pisses me off. If my boyfriend started saying "I dont like the people you hang out with... hence lets find some new people" i would tell him to eff off!! I think as long as your girlfriend isnt echo-ing their behaviour then you don't have to worry. We aren't our SO's parents, so it isnt up to us to 'approve' of each other's friends. It isnt them we are going out with. My boyfriend's best mate cheats on every girl he has ever been out with, even his fiance. My boyfriend dispises cheating and i fully trust him, his other friend takes lots of drugs, my boyfriend doesnt touch them, never has, never will. I wouldnt dream of covertly trying to get my boyfriend hanging out with more 'good' friends!

one of my best friends used to be a lap dancer, she has two children to two different dads and she cheats on her boyfriend. She is also kind and would do anything for me, i have known her since I was 11. I would never not be her friend. My other friend is total bunny boiler she doesnt let her boyfriend out of her sight, she is jealous and doesnt trust him to go out on a boys night so she goes along, incase he cheats. He did cheat on her once and she took him back, for a while i lost respect for her, my boyfriend thinks she is the worlds biggest idiot for taking her cheating boyfriend back and sticking herself to him like glue. My other best friend lives with a guy who she openly admits is the ugliest thing she has ever seen but he is rich. she says she loves him but probably wouldnt if he didnt have all that they have, a big house in the country, two cars, three holidays a year. My boyfriend calls her a gold digger. Another one of my friends was the town bike for a while! and another is a mad party head who takes lots of drugs, (I dont take drugs, never have) I dont cheat, I would never cheat on my boyfriend, I would never lap dance, I would never have children without being married first, I would never be with a man for his money, i prefer to be independent. my point? If I thought my boyfriend judged me because of the people I hang around with, I would be really upset and would be in trouble?!! ha ha however, I can see your point because one of my best friends says her boyfriends best mates all cheat on their girlfriends and go out to lap dancing clubs constantly, and my friend is paranoid her boyfriend will be influenced. I said "If you think he is that weak minded, a sheep that is easily lead, or that he has no mind of his own and you dont trust him, why are you with him?" That shut her up! We are all our own people, with our own minds and ar responsible for ourselves. Friends are friends for whatever reason, maybe they have always been our friends since school.. maybe they make us laugh and cheer us up, whatever their morals, we dont have to agree on everything to be friends. If my friend wants to cheat on her boyfriend then thats up to her.. doesnt influence me, because i have my own mind! you get me?

Im a bereavement counsellor and my job is to listen to people who are recently bereaved and really seriously grieving. 9 times out of 10 they lost their loved one to cancer. That put things into perspective for me too. I suddenly became WAYYY too aware of my own mortality.

I read Allan Carr's easyway to stop smoking, i read it twice and then I moved in with my non-smoking boyfriend, into a non-smoking house! there are a lot of factors involved, but the fact is, i dont crave, i dont want one, i dont really ever think about a cigarete. Its been 7 months since i had one. if i get really upset and stressed and something happens, there is a slght urge to buy some fags, but it isnt because i crave it, its because its what i have always done. The nicotine leaves your body within 24 hours of your last cigarette, after a week you cant physically claim to still be addicted. its a psychological crutch, addiction. you need to let go. It feels like losing your best friend and when you go to the pub and have a drink and the person you are with leaves the table for a while, i remember sitting there thinking "mnn i feel really exposed, normally i would light a cigarette and concentrate on that...." now i just tear a beer mat. Its hard, but soon you forget.

ha ha i am lke that with Charlotte church!! I used to think she was a cool chick but my boyfriend goes on all the time about how she is a goddess! and he has pictures of her on his computer posing in bikinis and she has a far better figure than me! I HATE charlotte church!! ha ha ha

I am quite relieved to see that others feel like this too. Probably not as obsessed or insane as me! ha ha However, I copied some links here of others (some are mine) threads, that are going through the same thing, threads that show how others feel, to show you that you aren't alone and that there are people here you can talk to.

Your message just made me cry. I'm really sorry to hear this and I can almost feel your pain through your post. I hope things improve for you, but we are all here if you need us.

I agree with the others you need to talk to an adult about this. Im not saying that you aren't mature enough to deal with this because at 14 you aren't a little kid. This is going to be a hard time for you. You don't want your dad to leave your mum because you don't want your family to suffer his mistakes. Would you prefer for them to stay together but for your dad to continue cheating on your mum? I wouldn't be afraid that he found all his files deleted honey, he is going to be more frightened than you when he discovers that! he will be panicking about who found them. You need to talk to someone outside of the family but who knows you, who can advise on what to do, you can't take on this burden by yourself.

My breasts are a 34J and I feel like i wasted my teenage and early 20s being really depressed about my breasts. Everyone looking, staring, nudging their mates saying "Look at the size of her t i t s!!!" really loudly when I walked past. Being called a tart (as though i purposely did this to myself) whether i gained weight or lost weight they stayed the same. i used to dream summer, i used to literally cry and stay at home all the time when i couldnt hide behind my coat or jackets. I eventually got sent to see a specialist who agreed within five minutes that i could have a breast reduction. i had to have pictures taken with a male photographer which felt like a porno session and degraded me further "can you turn this way... turn to the left..." while he took pictures of my boobs. The approved me, put me on a waiting list, but as the time went by and got more confident with myself, more confident with my attractiveness, my personality, got a bit older and more wiser, i started to see them as the asset that they are. I changed my mind about the reduction, you cant breast feed once you have had it and i would lke to breast feed my children. because they are so large they will sag once i have had kids and i will then have the reduction when im 40 after ive had my babies. At the moment, i see them as an asset and it took almost 17 years for that to happen. Its a shame that its in hindsight we see all the wasted time hiding away. Maybe she should look into CBT therapy, change the way she thinks about herself or the way others look at her. Maybe even just person centred therapy will help boost her confidence. She can always have a reduction, but with any surgery there are risks and expenses and I dont think a young girl should be contemplating that because of how she feels psychologically.

God your post filled me with empathic pain. I felt really upset just reading that. It sounds like an unbeleivably painful time for you. You know, because you state, all the problems that you had, and you know inside yourself that it would never have worked and that it wasnt healthy for you. However the fact that he never realised your worth or that he just cut you out of his life, deleted you as though you didnt exist. That has got to make you feel almost invisible, worthless. He didnt think enough of you to tell you goodbye, or explain why. no wonder you feel so alone and invisible, you were treated very badly by somebody you trusted and loved. I think you may need to speak to somebody about this. a counsellor. It may help you to come to terms with both of your losses. You are still grieving for your unborn child and that is an entirely different issue from the heartbreak and loss of your husband. You lost your future, the future that you had planned with this man and this child and both were just deleted from your life. I hope you seek out someone to talk to.

yeah i go with the Sudacrem too its a a british thing, if you are in america, then its just basic nappy rash cream. i know it sounds mad but it works its sensitive enough for the delicate areas (I use it too when I shave down there) and its great. Lots of nappy rash cream!

mnnn yeah, can see your point here.. I was incredibly depressed when I was behaving in such a way.. I met my current boyfriend (The only one I havent cheated on!) when my life was going well and I was in a good place. Generally happy with myself and feeling attractive. I think when we are happy with ourselves we are less likely to accept second best (for us) and less likely to fall into relationships we don't really want to be in.

i would never refer to a friend as weird, no matter what she looks like. I love my friends like sisters. We have been friends since we were 11. in school with her bright ginger hair and baces and large NHS glasses she didnt help matters by becoming a hippy and wearing tie dye skirts and large hob nail boots.. but I still defended her to anyone and hung with her, because I had no right to expect her to change, or for anyone else to insult her because of that. She was shy and the way she dressed was her way of expressing herself. She liked what she wore and so I never once tried to change her. If this was your girlfriend you were talking about, everyone would jump down your throat for not loving her for who she is. This person isnt your friend, or rather you are no friend of theirs, if you listened to and took on board the opinions of a load of idiots you had only just met!

wow my boyfriend did something similar a couple of years ago. He decided to leave the new girlfriend and go back to his ex. He said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do, to break someone's heart when they hadnt done anything wrong. Turns out, second time round with the ex. she did the same thing and broke his heart again! but then he met me! so he turned out lucky in the end! he he anyway, he says he doesnt regret doing it, because he HAD to see, she was his first love, and he adored her, he wanted her back so badly and when she finally got jealous and saw him with his new girl (who he was with for 6 months!) he couldnt stop thinking about it. Sometimes we break people's hearts, sometimes they break ours. No one can tell you what to do, or make you feel better about whatever decision you make. In an ideal world you could have them both, waiting for you in alternative universes, or we could look into the future and pick the one it works out with. Life isnt that fair. I think you know that you want you ex back but you are afraid of making a mistake in taking her back. You know you cant go back on it, once you have left this new girl and taken your ex back, there is no going back to the new girl and that is a bit scary at first. No one wants to feel like they made the wrong decision. You will never know until you make it though. If it doesnt work out with the ex second time round, then at least you can be hopeful that you will find someone else you can be excited about. If its happened once, it will happen again. Whatever happens, its not the end of the world and you will survive.

I did something similar for a friend once. It was one of those things that was relatively painful at the time, but made us all laugh afterwards. My friend didnt think she could trust her boyfriend when he went out with his mates because he got so drunk and was a real flirt. I rang him and put on a really girly voice, said my name was Sarah and i had met him the night before in the pub. He was puzzled "I dont remember..?" I said "your friend Dave gave me your number.." he was like "oh right.. oh yeah i remember you" (probably talking to someone else or lying because he felt bad admitting he didnt - truth is, i wasnt there, im not sarah so it weas funny that he lied anyway!) He says "what dya look like?" I said "blonde curly hair, 5 foot 2, slim... hey! i thought you remembered me!" He laughs "I was just checking!" I say "So i was wondering if you wanted to meet for a drink?" bear in mind he doesnt remember who this girl is. he says "yes sure!" and i arrange a place and me and my friend sit in a car on the other side of the road and we watched him sit there for an HOUR waiting for this imaginerary girl! my friend was devestated. the next day we went into the pub and she punched him on the nose! he said "what was that for?!"" I said "hi baby! im sarah!" that was a few years ago now...

if you read my first reply you will see that I am not telling him to abandon the child., i totally agree with you. He should seek legal advice.

I dont think society condone people 'walking out on a pregnant girlfriend' I just think people are more conscious of not staying in a horrid relationship for 'the sake of the children'. people blame the youth of today for the large divorce rates, yet how many of us remember grand parents that couldnt stand each other? people should stay together for any other reasons other than they love each other and want to. the children find out, they arent stupid and can sense when their parents are in love.

i really feel for you. What a horible situation. The fact is, if this was the other way round she would be able to just think "I dont want you anymore" and not worry about whether she would not see he children anymore. Its the law and its Im afraid but the fact is, seeing as in 99% of the cases the woman gets the baby, the man usually finds myself sticking around in uhappy hellhole relationships just so he doesnt lose his kid and its not fair! I have so many male friends like you and i feel they are wasting their lives. yeah you probably shouldnt have got her pregnant (with the benefit of hindsight) but it took two to tango and she could have taken the pill if you wouldnt wear a condom. I dont want children yet, so guess what, I havent been knocked up yet!! its really not hard for the woman to take resonsibility for herself so that really isnt the issue here. this isnt the 1950's where you HAVE to stand by her and she obviously has children from previous relationships and manages just fine. Do their father (s) get to see them? You need legal advice. You need an arrangement where you get t be part of the child's life, you will pay maintenance and have visitation rights. Seek out a citizens advice bureau or anywhere you get free legal advice. Then leave her. If you dont want to be with her, dont have a relationship with her. Life is too short. However, no matter what the legal stance, there is a risk you could lose access to your baby, (if she moves without telling anyone.. if she just acts like a cow (Like some women do) and refuses access... its a messy situation. You need to be aware that there is no easy way out. you either stay and its hard, or you leave and it has the potential to be harder... its your life. Taking the imaginary moral obligation that you think you owe her, what is your decision?

wow what you just said took me back to a pat relationship! my ex used to play o his computer all the time. I would go round and he would be playing it, I would lie on the bed and read a book whilst he played his golf games and he would every now and again stroke my head and say "Alright?" and I just kinda nodded thinking... "arent i more interesting?" Finally one day he said "I dont think im inlove with you... " and that was that!

My friend is going through something similar. She is staying with me tonight. Decided to take a few days out. She said she is 'bored'. She lives with her boyfriend, they just got a mortgage, rented together for about 3 years and she sits in the kitchen watching her soaps while he sits i the living room drinking beer watching football. they dont particularly row really, it isnt like they 'fell out'. they go out of a weekend and get drunk and have fun, but never go out for nice meals together, never curl up on the sofa holding hands watching a film or just soaps. they dont compromise. Why dont you say to your boyfriend "Okay i know you like playing computer games... why dont we play one together and if I play on your computer for an hour or so, will you come and watch a film with me?" He is your fiancee, this means you trust him enough to want to marry him/. You know him enough to be able to talk to him Honestly. say to him "I want us to rekindle the spark.. im afraid that you might get bored or... vice versa...." Tell him you want to have a 'date' night, even if its just once a month where you go out for a meal together. I have had to do something similar. My boyfriend and i are very tactile and we do sit and watch TV together holding hands or snuggled up close. However i work full time and go to college two evenings in the week, i also work one evening and one weekend day. So when we are together we kinda flop on the sofa watch some TV and pass out. I have told him, I dont want us to get bored of each other, we live together, laundry, cleaning the bathroom.. its gets mundane, we are tired, we are busy, but we need to remember why we agreed to move in together in the first place. We have agreed to go out more together, alone. Sunday afternoons if i am free we go for drives (doesnt cost anything - just the petrol), or we go for a walk, then nip into the pub for a drink and a chat. Even if we only spend 3 hours together, just DO something! If you love each other you need to compromise and please each other. good luck

He hasnt abandoned his family. He hasnt actually cheated. (or if he has you have no proof) I think all this "tell your mum" is 'honesty is the best policy' gone awry! sometimes the truth wrecks and hurts and sometimes people DONT recover. TELL YOUR FATHER... NOT YOUR MOTHER

Yeah I have been there with the ego thing! ha ha years ago I went out with a guy who everyone was like "He is soooo ugly!" but I liked him, thought he was sweet, he wined and dined me for about two months, then eventually we slept together and he dumped me the next day and then told everyone in my local pub that he had slept with me but made it sound like a cheap event and now how i had thought it to be at all.. I rmember for the longest time thinking "Wow, he should have been greatful to get me, how dare someone that ugly be so conceited as to use me.." in saying that I realise how conceited i myself sound..

Im a size 14 and my boyfriend calls himself a Chubby Chaser! its nice that he finds me attractive but does he have to make it sound like an insult! ha ha Your post made me laugh though! ha ha