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galaxy71

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  1. Wilhelm, you admitted in several posts that you have attracted women in the past. Many of them are women that you found very attractive. Your problem isn't due to your appearance. I think your problem is that you don't approach enough women. You discount places like bars and clubs. If you approach a women, you have a chance of getting a date from her. But if you don't approach her at all, you have NO shot of getting a date from that women. Whether a woman is worth of a relationship or not should take a backseat to learning how to interact with women. Worry about attracting a woman first, before trying to screen her for a relationship. You want to know what would happen if he doesn't get any results if he follows my advice. I am going to tell you this. I want to know how he implemented the advice. You can have all the tools and techniques in the world from all the Don Juans and casanovas out there. But at the end of the day, it is you are responsible for putting the tools and techniques into practice. If he worries about what would happen if he does not get any success modeling himself after guys who are successful with women, he has already failed. A confident guy believes that he will succeed in any endeavor if he knows what to do and how to do it. He trusts that he has the knowledge and experience to get the results he wants. To approach women, a guy must be confident that he will succeed. My advice is based on the idea that women do not care about looks as much as men do. Women are willing to overlook a guy's looks, if he has personality and a edge to him. The OP has a sense of humor and a personality. He just needs to learn how to convey the most attractive parts of himself to women. You guys mention that you don't know any guys who are successful with women. Look at the guys who are confident and have good leadership skills. Those guys are usually the ones who are successful with women.
  2. It's in the first part of the title of the thread. You used "Too ugly" in the first part of the thread. Nobody would trash their own self that hard if they were confident and believed in themselves. Most of your posts are complaints about how women overlook you because of your looks. Instead of looking for ideas on how to improve your attractiveness to women, you are just lamenting the tough life you have to endure because of your looks. Unless you are disfigured or suffer from your disability, I doubt that you are ugly. By taking care of your appearance, you will be at least average. In your second sentence, you are again closing yourself off to any potential advice that has been given to you. That's the problem. In this thread or the bad boy thread, I wonder whether you are interested in trying the advice that has been given to you in this thread. You mention all these things that you have done to improve yourself in the past few years. Yet you never talk about these things in your previous posts. Plastic surgery is not neccesary. Plain people date and marry all the time. Your task is too find out how men attract women. As I mentioned in my other post, the best way to find how men attract women is by going to guys who are successful with women. You seem to assume that you are getting rejected because of looks because you do everything right body language wise, and flirting wise. But how do you know that you are doing things correctly if you have no standard to evaluate your interactions with women? By consulting guys who are successful with women, you will be made aware of your blind spots through the help of a disinterested, neutral party. The dating advice that is given by guys who are successful with women is vastly different from the advice given by everybody else. Most dating advice tell guys like you to be confident and to go to places that have women. Guys who are successful with women will tell you how to be confident and how to interact with women in ways that will make them attracted to you. They will tell you how to walk and talk around women. Most mainstream dating advice talk about luck and playing the numbers game. Guys who are successful with women will tell you how to attract women through study, skill and lots of practice. They will also tell you how to avoid the friendzone by going for a kiss. Trust the masters. They know what they are talking about These guys have tested their knowledge and techniques on real women. Guys like you have achieved some success by modeling themselves after the masters. On the other hand, there are a lot of people in this website and others who give out advice that they have never tried themselves. You sparked attraction but you were unable to maintain it. That's what happened in those two examples. Through flirting, and humor, you can attract a women. It's just that you were unable to keep the flame going. I hoped that you continued the flirting after you met those two women in person. If you don't continue to stimulate her emotions, she will lost interest. Flirting and humor isn't just being playful and funny. Instead, flirting and humor are powerful ways of conveying your confidence. All the flirting in the world will do you no good if you do not have the body language to back it up So rich, handsome, high status, celebrity men have an easier time getting dates than you. What's the big deal about that? Most guys don't have the charm and the looks of Brad Pitt and George Clooney, yet a lot of them are dating and in relationships. Study them. Don't worry about comparing yourself to some celebrity that you have never interacted with in your life. There is a reason for your situation. You need to learn how to attract women. Having personality and being charming is great. But you need to know how to convey those attributes in a way that will attract women. There is a difference between being interesting and being attractive.
  3. I'm sorry, but I refuse to provide you with the pity and symphathy that you want. None of your posts indicate any willingness to take responsiblity for the situation that you are in. Instead of looking for advice on how to improve yourself, you are trying to portray yourself as a victim of bad luck and poor genetics. You are trying to frame your problem as a dilemma between unattractive guys and attractive guys. Since women flock to attractive guys, unattractive guys are faced with a difficult life of loneliness and frustration. It's all about how the world hates you because of your looks. What you don't realize is that your attitude is the problem. You have no confidence in yourself. If you did have confidence in yourself, you would be working your butt off trying to improve your attractiveness to women. There are a lot of guys who are like you. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, they are working out and developing their flirting skills so that women become naturally attracted to them. You are content being a victim persecuted by society's standards, instead of being a man who is proactive in dealing with any problems he encounters. This dichotomy between attractive guys and unattractive guys is false. Unattractive guys/average-looking guys meet and date women all the time. Last night, I attended a church social. There were some photos in the room showing some average-looking men with average-looking women. Even though, the people in the photos were average, they were dating and getting married. Some of you guys make it sound like that you have to be Brad Pitt or George Clooney to get a date. There is more to attraction than just looks. A person's personality, charm, confidence, and sense of humor plays a role in attraction. If looks were the only thing that mattered, most people would never reproduce since most people are average. That's why they call it "average". Go outside and you see plenty of average or unattractive guys with wives and girlfriends all the time.
  4. Most of my close friends are pretty clueless with women. They either don't approach women or they offend women with their crazy, wacky, sense of humor. As a result, I had to observe alpha males that I did not know as well. The places that I observed alpha males are bible study groups and bars. In one bible study group that I know of, there are about three guys who are extremely comfortable with women. The leader of the group is a frat guy who has strong leadership skills. When he wants something done, people in the group follow him. The guy produced a movie that promoted his bible study group. Whenever his friends are in need, he gets the people in the group to help out. One time, this woman was away from the group because her mother was dying. The alpha male organized a fundraising dinner to help that woman out as she was had to take leave from her job. Another guy in the group is a great storyteller. People love to listen to him talk about his life. Whenever he talks, people surround him to listen to another of his stories. There's a third guy in the group who is good with women. He is a very, overweight man who wears glasses. This guy loves being playful around women. He is not afraid of poking and tickling women he likes.
  5. Don't lose your sense of humor. It makes you a very, special, unique person. You sound like a smart, introspective, fun guy. The problem is the fact that women are not going to know that you possess these qualities if you are shy and bashful. As a guy, you are expected to be the one who progresses things in the interaction. Not only do you need to attract her, but you need to have the skills to advance things to a romantic level by making a move. Women expect guys to make the move. Even though you should be proud of your positive traits, you need to make a serious look at changing yourself. It is obvious that being you has not gotten you the results that you want-namely a girlfriend. Average-looking guys get girlfriends all the time. In order to get a girlfriend, you must FIRST focus on attracting in women in general first. The good news is the fact that attracting women is a skill that can learned through practice. Once you start attracting women, than you should focus on screening women for a relationship. The best way to learn how to attract women is by modeling yourself after guys who are successful with women. You have to learn how to dress like them. You also have to learn how to talk like them. You also have to learn how to walk like them. Once you start getting success modeling yourself after successful men, than you should start building your own style of interacting women. Stop being attached to being true to your self . The "self" you have has not helped you get a girlfriend. The self that you have now is a result of genetics, upbringing, and life experiences. It is a collection of good and bad habits. Instead of sticking to being your "self", you should not be afraid of creating the "self" you want by examining all the possibilities out there. When students learn a discipline like music, poetry, or painting, they are first taught to imitate and study the masters. The student learns the forms and techniques of the experts. Once he shows proficiency imitating the masters, than he hast the skill to develop his own style. You should do the same. Learn from the masters. They will teach you the basics of flirting and attraction. After you attain success imitating them, than develop your own style. .
  6. You should read my thread in the shyness folder about getting rejected viciously. A few weeks ago, I approached a girl in nightclub. When I started talking to her, she got hostile and told me to talk to someone else. In my city, women are not particularly friendly toward guys outside of their social circle who approach them. They assume that guys just want to get in their pants. One of my friends who is successful with women told me that he wanted to sleep with this girl even though he barely knew her. He didn't give a crap about her personality or her interests. The only thing he cared about was her pretty face and sexy body. Women are different from guys. They don't care about looks as much as med do. Men want women who are youthful and healthy so that she could give birth to children.. Women want men who are confident and successful because they want a guy who could protect her and their offspring. Trying to get to know them is not enough to get her to perceive you as mysterious if she is not attracted to your personality or looks.
  7. Scotty, you are correct. Young, attractive women get approached all the time. If some cool, interesting guy doesn't make a move on her, she would not lose any sleep because there will always be another guy to approach her in no time.
  8. There are plenty of introverted, shy guys who go to bars and nightclubs to meet women. Interestingly, a lot of them are successful at flirting and seducing women in these sorts of venues. They like to call themselves "pick-up artists". There is a large community of pick-up artists who share techniques and strategies on how to attract hot, party girls. The advice they give is much more aggressive than the advice given on this website. They emphasize such topics as openers, banter, routines, kino escalation(touching), negs, and rapport. These guys could be found on websites like link removed, link removed, and link removed. You should also read books like "The Game" by Neil Strauss and "The Mystery Method" by Mystery and Lovedrop. That girl is right that women are turning into playas. Since women are becoming more and more part of the workforce, they don't need marriage to have sex now. With birthcontrol and condoms, women and men are engaging in more short-term relationships. BTW, if you realize nigtclubs aren't your thing, you could try church or a swing dancing group.
  9. I have seen a guy wait in line to talk to a girl at church. I have also seen a church impose a strict age limit on the young adults group because the younger women felt creeped out by the older guys. This drama is pretty common place in church singles groups. That's why you have churches that do not have young adult groups or singles groups because they don't want to have the drama that comes along with it. At another church, this one girl tried to get a restraining order on another guy in the young adults group. I felt sorry for that quiet guy who got embarssed in front of several people. He's a good guy. He didn't approach her during the event because she was surrounded by several guys. Instead, he decided to wait for her to be by herself before he made his move. By waiting for the right moment to approach her, he ended up creeping her out. This is why guys have to approach women even if she is conversing with someone else.
  10. I am sorry. But it was total madness at this church social. Some of the things that happen in church are just as crazy as what happens in a bar or nightclub. Most of the people in the event were in their thirties and fourties. One of the woman in the event looked like Audrey Hepburn. The woman was a lawyer, who was in her late twenties and early thirties. Things started out normally. I went up to her and started talking to her. Instead of being that nice guy who asked too many questions, I started flirting with her. By flirting, I mean being playfull. The girl was laughing and having a good time. Then out of know where, two of my friends killed the intimacy and joined in the conversation. At this point, she was surrounded by three guys(me, and two of my friends). Then something crazy happened. Out of no where, two middle-aged guys joined in the conversation. I felt uncomfortable with all these other guys competing for her attention so I left. She was surrounded by about four guys now. Even with all the attention, she was extremely polite and friendly with the guys. She even gave one of the guys her email address. For the rest of the night, she got mobbed by the guys in the room the way Brittany Spears gets mobbed by the papparazi. At the end of the night, her patience started wearing thin. This middle-aged gentleman was asking her all these questions about herself. The woman kept on conveniently excusing herself to get some appetizers. The guy realized what was happening and decided to just invite her to an event without asking for her a number. As she was leaving the building and heading to her car, this quiet guy did the stupidest thing ever. He started following her and asking questions like "Are you from around here?". The woman lost her composure and she walked QUICKLY to her car. She tried to blow him off with the line "It was nice meeting you". That guy got embarssed and rejected harshly in front of other people. This is what happens in a lot of church singles groups. You have a lot of nice, older guys chasing that young, beautiful woman in the room, while all the other woman are completely ignored. The woman who is getting all this attention is initially flattered by the attention. But she eventually acts cold when she realizes how aggressive the guys can be. The guys at church can be even more aggressive than the young guys you see at bars and nightclubs.
  11. I have been listening to a CD on this topic. Don't be afraid to write a script about what you want to talk about over the phone. You can plan it out. Instead of just asking her how her day went, you can tell stories about what has been happening in your life.
  12. My friend is just like you. He is extremely good in group situations when he is entertaining people. Yet he messes things up when it's a one on one interaction with an attractive women. The guy is a great talker. But he doesn't have a clue about women behave. The reason why you feel comfortable with a group of friends is the fact that you feel like you have a security blanket whenever you are with your friends. If you don't know what to say next, you can depend on your friends to carry the conversation. While this is safe, it will not get you the girl. Instead of relying on your friends, you need to be the alpha male. You need to learn how to lead the interaction. How is your personality supposed to shine through if your friends do some of the talking for you? How do you stop being nervous when you are alone with a girl? You can't. Every guy gets nervous around women they find attractive. What you need to learn how to do is to be confident despite your nervousness. Through practice through a lot of interactions with women, you will develop the confidence you need to interact with the opposite sex.
  13. Being disinterested in a girl is not enough to get her intrigued by you. You also have to be interesting and have value to her. That night, I was making her sister laugh hysterically and I was telling all these stories about myself. At the same time I was doing this, the blond woman was getting bored by this big guy. She must have been listening to what I was saying to her sister while she was tuning out this guy who was loud and obnoxious. This type of flirting is pretty popular in the internet. A lot of people call it "indirect game". Many guys try this technique a lot in bars and nigthclubs where women are hit on all the time. Here is how it works. You intentionally ignore the girl you like, while you are socializing with her friends. When she sees that her friends like you, she will become intrigued by you because you are different from all the other guys that approach her.
  14. She doesn't go to that church regularly. This incident happened at the end of June 2006. Every time I go to that church, I scan the room hoping that I could talk to her again. Unfortunately, I have never seen her again since that night.
  15. This happened to me once at a church social. I was sitting at the same table with this blond woman, and her brunette sister. The blond woman got hit on by a lot of guys that night. There was an actual LINE for guys who wanted to talk to her while she was eating her dinner. I'm not kidding. Since I was too nervous to talk to her, I decided to talk to her younger sister(who was cute too) who was getting ignored by the guys. I was able to make her sister laugh, but it didn't go anwhere with her. When the two girls were about to leave, the blond woman started asking me all these questions about myself. She even asked me if she was going to see me again. I was too stupid to get the hint that she wanted to see me again and that she wanted me to have her number. Why was she so intrigued by me? Simple, I ignored her the entire night. Furthermore, I socialized with her sister who was getting ignored by the guys in the room.
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