eleanorrigby1

My friend is going through something similar. Ask him if there is anything wrong gently not nagging and then say "could we maybe try to go out once a week? I work all week too (or whatever you do) and feel like we need to get out, let our hair down! once a week?" compromise. Dont nag, dont sound needy and he should be fine with it. If he says "I like sitting in" say "so do i, sometimes! but i also like going out, cant we compromise?" hope it goes well. My boyfriend says i am bossy because i just TELL him what we are doing sometimes, but sometimes i can be a bit sneaky instead of leaving it open for him to say "No lets just sit in" I say "oh babe, this Saturday there is a party my mates are going, do you fancy it? I do..." he will um and ah and before he answers I then say "you dont have to come if you dont want babe, if you dont fancy it, i will go on my own?" and he then says "oh no i will come, yeah sure i will"

I work full time and I am doing a degree part time, I also volunteer at a bereavment centre on a Saturday morning, but I sustain a healthy relationship and spend a considerable amount of time with my boyfriend. sometimes I am tired but I would rather be tired with him than tired alone. I say, give this guy some space, dont ask him, its only been a month! dont pester him, I am impatient too, but you need him to know that you have a life outside of him and you arent going to be clingy or needy. Let him call you. Its true when they say "He knows where you are if he wants you" I hope it works out for you, but if it doesnt be glad you found out now instead of months down the line.

Im doing a degree in Counselling and Psychotherapy and as part of my course I have had to do a certain amount of self discovery, self development, I had great trouble opening up, I have a great fear of crying infront of people. It is so bad that when I first started dating my boyfriend and he would say to me "I think Im falling inlove with you" I wouldnt be able to say anything in response, but in my head I would be saying "i love you!" but I couldnt open my mouth and actually say it! this went on for a ridiculous amount of time. I still feel weird and emotional when ever I begin to talk to people about how I feel. I am terrible at it but I wont pass as a counsellor until I do, so I am going to counselling myself to try and see where the route of this lies. Did I trust someone in my past and found them unworthy? am I afraid of how people will see me, judge me, treat me, reject me? what am i afraid of? You are definitely not alone with this, but its not the way to live your life, we need to feel we can talk to people, because it does help. First work out why and then you will know what to do. Good luck

I never gave my number out to anyone online until I had met them in person. If they gave me their number then I withheld my caller ID and telephoned them. You never know if you want them to have it or not, you cannot tell if you are going to like someone until you meet them in person. Also advice: meet as soon as possible! I once emailed and spoke to a guy for months who I met online, and we got on soooo great, it felt like destiny, we had EVERYTHING in common, I had saw pictures but they were distant, hazy never that clear. Eventually we met and there was no chemistry at all (on my site) and I had to tell him I wasnt interested in being anything but his friend. He was really upset and I never heard from him again. Have fun, but be safe!

I have been on loads of dates with guys I met online. one texted me the night before and said "do I kiss you on the cheek or the mouth tomorrow when we meet?" I replied with "kiss kiss? you can shake my hand MISTER!! and we laughed, so when we met we both kind of walked up to each other and I pointed to my cheek and he instead shook my hand and we laughed. Its always awkward meeting someone for the first time, I always used to worry i wouldnt recognised them, that even though I had seen a million photos of them on the internet that in real life they would look so completely different I wouldnt know them! ridiculous, nerves are horrible. In fact I usually feel sick before a date! lol! But I just walk over slowly, let them walk over to me and I smile and say "Hi!"and then we take a seat, usually you dont make any physical contact until the end of the date. I always met them for coffee or lunch first too, so the time is limited and you dont have to feel awkward if you want to leave. good luck!

I always say Ignorance is Bliss. I don't know if I do believe this, but I once asked my boyfriend something and then when he began speaking I covered my ears and said "No no! it will only hurt!" and he said "I need to tell you, I want to tell you" and I begged him to just leave it alone. I never know if I made the right decision, we discussed 'closure' and how you need to know stuff and he was saying he had to ask "do you still love me?" and I was of the opinion, it would be obvious if someone didnt and I wouldnt want to ask, because hearing the words "no I dont" would just tear me apart. I would know, but I don't need to 'hear'. An ex once said to me "I dont love you, i have met someone else ...." he basically went on to completely stamp on my heart and I, to this day, I hear that conversation in my head whenever I am upset or feeling rejected I am reminded of that hurt. The words are etched onto my brain. Ask yourself, will hearing about it change the information you already have and know? you know that she has been unfaithful. Now the question is, is it a current affair? can you forgive her? do you have something worth saving? Can you forget? Good luck

It is a trick subject to deal with. I have in the past said "love you too" because someone said it to me and I was scared to hurt them. I was a teenager back then, so it depends on how old you are and how mature emotionally you both are? and whether or not you are sure you even know what love it? I thought I was inlove with my ex who I broke up with two years ago and I said "I love you" all the time, my friends joked that I said it when he went for a piss! and vice versa. The relationship fell to * * * * within six months and I remained single for two years thinking I would wait until I was sure to save the confusion of "am i heartbroken? was it love?" so I waited and met my current boyfriend who I adore but I waited months and months before saying "I love you" and when he first said it to me, I didnt say anything I just kissed him and hugged him and he kinda got a feeling from me but he respected that I didnt just repeat the words back at him. When I finally said it he was elated and in the months that followed we have only ever said it about three times. The less it is said, the more it means and the more thought goes into saying it. Don't worry too much about whether or not she loves you, if she said it she is either thinking about it now, or has been thinking about it. Love is all in the actions. Actions speak louder than words. Sometimes you dont HAVE to say it. Its just nice to hear once in a while.

I have never had sex whilst on a period. I take a pill called Cerazette and it is a mini pill - progesterone only. It affectively stops you from ovulating and so you dont have periods, you take the pill every day at the same time. I have a reminder on my phone that beeps at 1pm every day and i take my pill so I dont ever forget and so my boyfriend feels safe in the fact that I can't possibly get pregnant. If you are not already taking some form of oral contraception then you need to be. How old are you? This sounds like it could just be the end of your period, but I would buy a pregnancy test and do one, early in the morning, your first wee to detect the hormone and then another one the following day just to be sure. Then learn your lesson from this! there is no need to be afraid of pregnancy if you are being sensible in regards to precautions. I am doing a degree and am excited about my career, getting pregnant would be a nightmare for me, but I no longer worry about it happening because I am taking the pill and I havent had a period in five months. It also means uninterrupted sex! no periods! Go and see your doctor or a family planning clinic and get yourself sorted and avoid these panics! you dont need a psychic to tell you that!!

wow am i glad that someone answered this. I am being haunted by my boyfriends first love! not literally! ha ha she is still alive, but everytime her name is mentioned by anyone, i feel a bit sick and i often wonder if I will ever come to mean to him, what she did.

Yeah it is a modern world but unfortunately double standards still apply and men still get scared when women take the reigns. One of my boyfriend's friends commented on how I drank pints "oh he wouldnt have put up with that before!" I said "ah yes but thats before he met me and realised there were more important things in life than whether a girl drank pints!" A woman cannot still go out and sleep with every man she wants to and not be called a slag, when a man can go out and sleep with whoever he wants and be slapped on the back for it. And after all this, it doesnt apply to her because if you re-read the original posts she said that she had told him she loved him and he didnt reply.

Dont be afraid of what this psychic told you. I read my horoscopes daily because they are fun, but I believe that we are in control of our own destiny. Of course pregnancy is going to be a strong possibility if you don't use safe bith control! anyone knows that! are you on the pill? you should be, I dont think condoms are a realiable method especially during a relationship when you have the potential to be caught "in the moment" on many occasion, if you are in a trusting comitted relationship then take the pill. Also my best friend once went to a psychic the day before me and her were going on holiday, the lady told her, she was going on a trip and her best friend would get ill and maybe die (meaning me) my friend freaked out but I wasnt concerned. I got ill the day we arrived, tonsilitis and went to the hospital for antibiotics, the antiseptic gargling stuff he gave me made me vomit daily and my friend was crying about how i was going to die. In the end she was making herself more ill than me and it was me with the illness! of course I wasnt going to die from tonsilitis!! and we went on to have very good holiday. That was 5 years ago. If you put faith in these things, you can subconsiously adapt your life accordingly, If they told you Sam was the man you were going to marry you would dismiss arguments and problems because you would believe that destiny had you two set to marry. You see what I mean? control your own destiny!

Sounds old fashioned but I would wait for him to say it first. I know what people mean when they say "Make it too easy for him" but that totally depends on the kind of person he is. My ex boyfriend was a total arsehole, once he knew that I loved him and I said it first and I said it often because I had an urge to scream it from every mountain top, he was so secure in my love he no longer had to try, he knew that he could do anything and treat me anyway and I would love him anyway, and that gave him total control and he lost respect for me. Now I am not saying that you cannot say you love him, but I would wait for an opportune moment, and also if you can, hold off until he says it, because he will. My current boyfriend told me he loved me and I waited at least two weeks before saying I loved him back because I wanted to be sure that I did love him and because I was also afraid after having been so hurt last time. Judge the moment and judge the person, if it feels right, it feels right. If he hasn't said it already to you after a certain amount of time, I would question what it is he is getting out of your relationship, or maybe does he have difficulty expressing his emotions has he been hurt in the past? Good luck

Have you emailed him already? I have been in similar circumstances where I have offered to lend people money and then thought "Ugh actually i cant do that, i dont feel safe!" I have lost friends or damaged friendships in the past lending money and not having it paid back, sometimes friends think they can let it go and think to themselves "oh its only such and such they wont mind waiting..." and you wait and wait and then it becomes a matter of principal rather than a matter of the amount you actually lent out. I agree with what CarnelianButterfly said. Simply say "I am so sorry but it seems I was to enthusiastuc with my offer of financial help! checked with the bank today and I had forgotton about a number of direct debits I had waiting to go out, over spent considerably at Christmas, as you do, and I am still recovering" I would also be a bit dubious that he accepted the offer having not known you for that long, or that well considering you are both in separate states and so far away from each other and the age gap. Why would he even consider opening a business if he can't financially afford to? I don't want to make you paranoid about his intentions but they are worth thinking about. Take care of yourself

I have been thinking a lot about my past relationship and how hurt I was. However, I spent two years alone, I had to concentrate on my education my career and moving into my own place. I also wanted to be sure that the next time I met someone and trusted them it was for the right reasons and not just to have someone. I was totally convinced I had been in love with my ex because it hurt so much when he dumped me, but having fallen totally inlove with my new fella I now realise that it was infatuation and that I was basically mourning the loss of my pride and feeling the pain of rejection. I wrote this poem and I thought I would share it because a lot of people on here seem to have been through painful breakups where they fear they may never love again or be brave enough to. I feel terrified regularly about trusting someone, about loving someone, but I know that I can either be brave or be alone. I wasn't happy when I was with him, neither happy before, or immediately after When I loved him it wasn't him, it was the person he said he was The person I wanted him to be, the feeling I wanted to feel It wasn't me that he met, or pretended to love She was the one who held me prisoner, the one who cried each night and yet continued to let him use her She thought that she was protecting me inside of her perfect shell But in doing so she began to reject me And hide me, Suffocating me until I was lost Lost in who I thought he was and who he wanted me to be Until no one wanted anyone He no longer wanted me and I wasn't sure who I saw or wanted when I looked at him or in the mirror.. yet it felt like dying to say goodbye And it felt like a funeral in the days that followed and I grieved for the loss of something that never existed The rejection tattooed into me, burned into my flesh Reaching inside, wrapping itself around my lungs and my heart Until I couldn't breathe Until I couldn't feel. Yet in the numbness came me Amidst the chaos and confusion I rode in on my white horse And I picked up the remains of her and I threw them out I didn't need protecting from me I just needed to BE me In the clarity came someone else and then came feeling, Breathing, then Loving, And with the loving came fear but in the fear came understanding and I understand my fear, yet continue to love..

This is definitely a case of the more you worry the more it will happen, this sounds like it is psychological rather than physical. Its working, its just scared because you are. Work on your self esteem.