eleanorrigby1

If you notice a girl you like, maybe just try to catch her eye from accross the room and smile, if she smiles back then try to hold eye contact, then maybe go for a wander around the party. She will, subconsciously find herself wondering where you have gone, then re-appear, give her a cheeky grin and you can tell yourself if she looks approachable or like she would be interested in talking to you. Just keep it friendly and funny, make her laugh. Most girls hate the idea of being hit on when they are deep in conversation with their mates, or having a good time and some guys come over and just sticks himself in the middle and delivers a load of chat up lines. If you see someone you like, just try and get near them so you can maybe just get involved in a conversation they may be having, the more you make it look like you arent just trying to chat them up but are actually interested in what they have to say, the more successful you will be.

How do you know its small, in comparison to who? have you measured everyone elses in the world. I have said previously that size does matter but usually if the man is particularly LARGE and then bangs against the cevix causing more pain than pleasure!! THe most sensitive parts of the womans genetalia is the outside and the clitoris, focus on them and it wont matter how big your penis is, as long as you can get it hard and experiment with different positions you will both have a good time. If someone turns round and says "your willy is too small!" then they are either A) a heartless * * * * * or B) not enjoying the sex and its the only thing they can think of to say. remember sex is a two way street! its not ALL down to the man!

You want me, as a woman, to be completely honest: Yes it does. If a man is particularly small, (its usually the girth rather than the length that is most important) AND doesnt know what the hell he is doing it could be a bit crap for the woman. Remember most women dont orgasm of sexual intercourse anyway, its the clitoris that you need to focus on. particulrly LARGE men have problems too you know: I have had female friends say "omg I am not letting him near me with that thing, its terrifying!" so think of those men who go around bragging about their big giant penis! if it really is as big as he says it is, he probably doesnt get as much action as he says he does. A particularly large penis can bang against the cervix and cause pain. I knew a friend who was with a guy who's penis was so large she ALWAYS had to use loads of lubrication and it totally killed the 'moment'! An average one is usually the best. You know, at the end of the day, for the average woman, sex is an emotional thing anyway, its always going to be better for her if she is inlove with you.

You know with regards to physical attraction, everyone is different. I have had people compliment me on my legs for years telling me how great they are, but one night I was walking down the street and a bus full of guys drove past and one of them shouted out of the window "TREE TRUNKS!!" I was devestated. My boyfriend says I have a great figure, he says he loves my curves (English size 14) and other men have said what a perfect hour glass shape I have. HOWEVER, I have overheard men say "she wouldnt be half bad if she lost some weight" or one guy even shouted in my face "BURGER!!!" and then laughed! mature!! One guy will look at me and think "urgh!" another will think "mnnn" These people who insulted you, werent for you. Is that your picture on your avatar? because if it is then I have to say this, there is no way you are ugly! People's words hurt us, sometimes more than any physical pain. My ex boyfriend broke up with me and told me he didnt find me attractive, he used to say things all the time like "My ex was so little (meaning thin) I could lift her up with one arm" he was always going on about how slim his ex was and how his usual 'type' was skinny. Made me majorly insecure. He broke up with me and then ended up marrying a girl who was twice my size! lol! Reading your message sounded a lot like me a few years ago. I suffered with mild depression, I would have days where I would look at my life and not see the good in it, everything was crap and what was the point and i was going to end up alone anyway?! It did pass. when people say 'this too shall pass' they are telling the truth. You are only young, a baby and you have so much ahead of you, so much change to go through and make. There is so much other stuff to do, if you fail at one thing it doesnt mean you are a failure, it means your talent lies elsewhere. If this feeling continues you should visit your GP, you may just benefit from some counselling. Sometimes just talking to someone and having them listen, to have someone listen, means our opinion and what we have to say is important, and this should help take away some of the worthlessness you feel. You are worthy.

I couldnt go out with someone who was 'best friends' with their ex, and the fact she was saying "oh this reminds me of you" is surely a ploy to get him back, its how my boyfriend's ex girlfriend got him back. She would send him a text saying "This is my new number, hope you're okay? x" and then she would conveniently mention things like "oh I passed this market the other day like the one we used to go to remember?" and it didnt take much longer than that before they got back together. Im not saying your boyfriend is thinking about going back to his ex because i dont know, im just saying past experience has taught me this is not a good thing. If he is in his 30's and he is going to ignore you for days over a row then is he really someone you want to be going out with? it sounds like teenage behaviour to me. An adult would at least let you know if the relationship was over and not just run away.

The girl who you had sex with will probably be hurt and feel cheap, it depends on the depth of her feelings for you and when you say "friend" who much of a friend she really is. If you like this other girl then I would say go for it, but be prepared to lose your 'friend' in the long run.

WOW! yes! I have done this, still do... fear

God yes!! when I met my ex or any boyfriend before him, life just went on its merry way and I never worried or thought of losing them, I had EVERY faith in the love they professed, I was happy and giddy and floating on air. My friend said I was a nicer calmer person that it suited me being inlove. Now with my current boyfriend, every insecurity seems to be always present. I analyse everything, I worry about losing him, I worry about how I behave, whether Im too nice, too * * * * *y, too moody, too happy, too sensitive, too available. Do I tell him I love him too much? not enough? I don't like the idea that this neurosis has come with age, because does that mean it will get worse the more wrinkles I get? lol! however, with age, comes experience and it is sometimes the experience, that causes us to react in such a way.

Rainy days and Monday's always get me down if we look closely there is always SOMETHING that causes the mood to drop. A memory a thought, waking up late, missing a bus, tiny little things that seem insignificant can wreak havoc on the rest of the day. How much sleep you got can be a big factor too and things as simple as your iron level, your vitamin B level. if the mood swings are severe thats when you have a problem.

I wrote a big long letter to my ex about a month after he dumped me. I had so much going on inside, like a raging tide and i couldnt eat or sleep properly until I had told him what he had done, I didnt want him to know he had got away without hurting me, I suppose a little of me wanted him to feel bad and apologise and maybe come back to me? even though in the letter I said some cruel things about him. I am friends with a girl who works with his mother so of course I heard that "he received your letter, he was reading it with gritted teeth then he ripped it into a thousand pieces shouted 'that f****g * * * * *! and threw it in the bin" It broke my heart . I should never have sent the letter, or let him know how much he hurt me, because he didnt deserve to know the pain he caused me. It would have been much more productive for me to have just moved on and pretended he meant nothing.

My ex boyfriend completely broke my heart over a Friday lunchtime, we broke up and I went home and cried til about the Tuesday! I found out that on the Saturday night he went out with his mates on the town, met a girl, and they ended up together, he is still with her now, they live together, I was devestated, to think that on that Saturday night, the DAY AFTER we had broken up, I was lay on my friend's bed crying my eyes out while he was out meeting someone new. BASTARD!

WOW! Jennster, I read your post and started crying! this paragraph: The other issue I have is his ex-girlfriend thing...he hasn't talked to her in months....but I still feel jealous of what they had...why?!?! Sometimes I get on his computer and he still has folders of her pictures and conversations he'd saved from years ago. I get jealous seeing the things he used to say to her...cause many times it's things he hasn't said to me. She was his first love...and he is MY first love....I lost my virginity to him...but he lost it together with her...it's so hard for me to think that I'm not the first. Is EXACTLY the situation I am in right now!! im in a happy great relationship with my boyfriend but i am obsessed with his EX!! i havent ever seen any pictures of her, i think i would throw up if i came accross anything on his laptop (which i use to do my college homework on) but having said that, i once went into his kodak share and the pain in my stomach, i had to turn it off, i couldnt bear to look incase i found a pic of her, i kind of dont want to know what she looks like. i hate that he loved her so much, it makes my stomach turn over and i feel physically sick. I have to remind myself that he is with me and he loves me now and that it will be different this time, because she treated him mean and hurt him and I know that I wont do that, so who's to say that in a few years, he will look back and say "You know, she was the first 'puppy love' but you are the first 'real love'!" That hope makes me feel good. Knowing the person you love once said nice things to someone else, I torture myself imagining them sleeping together and I have to stop myself, its unhealthy and I drive myself mad! I just wanted you to know that I feel it too and go through it too, its normal! my friends laugh and say they were the same when their relationships were in the first year or so. Good luck x edited to say PS: I als cry and get all emotional (Hence why i cried reading your message) whenever I try and talk to him about my feelings and it drives me mad!! i wish I could just have a conversation with him about my feelings without blubbering!

My boyfriend says that 95% of women arent worth bothering with, and that you have to be lucky to find one in the 5% that are. He generalises a lot. I think what happens it, we only have our own experiences, or those of people close to us, to base this opinion on, you think of the amount of women you have met, or have known, or have been hurt by and then think of how many women there are in the world? those 'few' really aren't a blue print for the rest of us. I have been told by my boyfriend that I'm not like any woman he has ever met, and my reply "Im just like all my friends!" You get me? Stop trying to figure 'women' out, you won't, its the 'WOMAN' that counts, we are all different.

I HOPE we will celebrate our Year anniversary but when our six month one passed the other week, we were in the pub and my boyfriend said to me "Hey babe, six months today!!" and I said "What?" and he said "Me and you?" and I was like, *scratches head, sips pint* "oh god! is it really?" he looked wounded for about a second but then he saw the funny side, we hadnt even noticed what day it was! I think its sweet you want to celebrate, I think a nice meal, maybe you could cook for him? and tell him to bring the wine, it doesnt have to be a big flashy expensive thing. Wait til you have been together a year before you do that. I may be talking through a past experience.. I named a star (thought it would be romantic) for someone I was with and loved for our aniversary and he dumped me two weeks later! lol!!

We were discussing this in college last night and we all came to the conclusion: You CANNOT define 'love' there is no magic ingredient and no two people will ever feel it the same way. I also believe that each relationship shows us a different kind of love. Have you ever heard someone say about an ex "I thought it was love, but now, with this new person, I know that it want, THIS is love" but you ask them how they felt when they were with that ex, they 'thought' they loved them. I say in that moment, you did! there is no think there is no thought only a feeling and you can be 'inlove' with someone and then meet someone else and be 'inlove' with them in a way that makes you doubt that old love, but its just a variation on the same theme. As we change, so does the way we feel and experience things. Love is as Love does.

Its a very rare person that remain 'friends' with their ex. In most cases the word 'friends' loosely translates to 'I'll pretend we are just friends until I have you back' or 'i will be your friend and talk about other girls and make you jealous until you want me back' or 'i will keep you in my life because i love you' I think if you honestly say you are being friends with her because you 'hope' that one day you may get back together, then find out how she feels. if she says there is no hope of that then you CANNOT be friends with her it would be too painful. When my ex split up with me he said he wanted me to be his friend because he loved me as a person but he wasnt inlove with me. I was half tempted because I figured I could worm my way back into his affections, make him see what he was missing, MAKE him fall back inlove, but luckily I realised I could never do that, for my own self esteem, he had told me he didnt want me in that way and it hurt, so I wasnt going to 'want' him in any way and we never spoke again. That was two years ago and I am confident I made the right decision. I think

you know, the only thing that really matters is what you think of him! My boyfriend makes me laugh all the time, I adore him, he is great and confident and fun and sweet and romantic and we never run out of things to say. However, he has this "if they dont like me f*** them!" attitude and when he was coming to meet my bosses for lunch, i was nervous, it was really important to me that they like him, I said to him "are you nervous?" he laughs and says "NO! why? I dont give a sh*t if they like me or not, as long as you do!" and I thought "DAMN YOU!! why cant you be bothered" Luckily they liked him for being genuine, but I worried my friends wouldnt like him, he is polite but brutally honest and if I have a friend that waffles he will just switch off and start reading the paper, it drives me mad and I used to get nervous introducing him, but then I realised, these are MY friends and I love them and they love me. He is separate, I love him and he loves me and we get on great, so what if he and my best friends arent the best of friends, as long as there is no bad feelings there, I'll settle for indifference. x

Dont even wate your phone bill and as for apologising to her! you are more of a woman than me, I would have smacked her right in the face, or poured her favourite red wine all over her head! Frget them, block his number, erase him from your life and move on. It will be hard and you will cry and be sad and wonder about him, but he really is the lowest kind of low and I am sorry for you x

I know you are itching to respond because you probably want to believe her, you want her to be sorry and you want to forgive her, maybe you dont want to just forget her. HOWEVER, if i were you, I wouldnt even bother responding, I would just cut my losses and move on.

oh I really feel for you, I really do, I sent you a private message too because I have been in the situation in the past and kinda got paranoid that i was in it again but am dealing with this as MY issue and just paranoia. Mnn I dont know what to say because past experience leads me to believe this is a bad thing. sorry

I get so confused, my boyfriend seems to be obsessed with 'rowing' and the fact that we don't. I told him the other day that something bothered me and we discussed it and its fine, but he said to me "You should have said somehing at the moment it happened! we might have had a row but thats good it clears the air" i said "I wasnt avoiding a row, I didnt say anything at the time it happened because I was upset and wanted my head to be clear so I knew what i wanted to say and how I wanted to say it" He laughs and says "Have you never rowed with anyone?" its like he almost wants me to be neurotic and go off the deep end. He once said that if something is worth having it has to be hard work. At the time we were talking about his PHD and my Degree and how we are both getting to the stage where we feel stressed and like dropping out, but when he was talking I could tell he also meant in life. He had a long term relationship with a girl who I think was a total * * * * * to him and broke his heart twice and yet he said to me "If she hadnt of dumped me, I would still be with her now" It torments me, because I think we get on great and our relationships is still new 6.5 months and that we havent had any need to row. but he seems to be obsessed with the fact and sees it as unhealthy. When people say you shouldnt be so easy that the other person looses interest I get scared because I think "well what should I do? be a * * * * * for no reason? cause a row for f*ck all? shout at him for being nice to me?"

Thanks for clarifying that for me.

Its such an American thing this 'dating' I could never understand or get into that whole thing, its too confusing! In england, you go on a date with someone, you like each other, you go on date number two, at this point you are still allowed to go on other dates, but you cant be sleeping with any of them. By date 4 you should be thinking about maybe not dating anyone else, because once you sleep together which is usually after about a month or so, then you are exclusive. Thats how it works over here. People go on dates to find a relationship, not for the sake of 'dates'

My friend found some porn on her boyfriends computer and rang me a right state, i started laughing my head off! told her that since the dawn on man, Men have enjoyed porn! anyway she ended up telling him she had found his porn and they agreed to watch some together, well it worked for her and she's happy now. When my parents got married my mum said to my dad "If you have porn, dont hide it from me, like my brother has to do with his psycho wife" and the have been married for 30 years. My boyfriend said to me the other week "I dont understand your really liberal stance on porn!" it actually pissed him off that porn didnt piss me off! ha ha ha you can't win! everyone is different!

I love writing poetry, its one of the best ways of getting feelings out. Very good, thanks for sharing