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Jetta

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Everything posted by Jetta

  1. Jetta
    Sorry I'm still figuring out how to survive. Make better choices than I have is the only advice I can muster. Finish college, get a stable job, and don't have kids (okay that's extreme).
  2. Jetta
    Your purpose is your passion. What it is that you're passionate about? If you could do anything in the world and money was of no concern, what is it you would do? You need to be working on that in some way. I know what my passion is (singing), the problem is I need money to support myself and children. So far I haven't been able to earn a living in music. You see I returned to college only to be told depite the A's I was in the wrong field, I should be out there singing. I took classes to expand my vocal/performance abilities and was told I should be earning a living as a singer (by people who are). Yet I'm still not and I'm not sure why. So just because you know what you're supposed to do doesn't make it magically happen. At least not for me, so far. But I will say it is nice at least having an idea. I just wish my idea was something a little easier to attain (like say school teacher or nurse or something). At least in those professions there is a path to follow, in this one it's not as guided.
  3. Jetta
    Okay I'm not an expert but pretending things are fine when they aren't is a HUGE mistake. The best way to reopen communication is to sit down and have a talk. Instead of pointing the finger at him say "I feel" rather than "you" never. For example: I feel like we aren't spending enough time together. I really miss when we would do such and such. Think back to when you were dating, pre-baby days, and try to recreate that kind of loving situation. When you aren't having sex you could suggest things you'd like to try that may enhance your experience. I find it easier to point those things out when we're not in the middle of it.
  4. Jetta
    I really don't know. A guy I was talking to flat out told me he had been flirting with me and I wasn't responsive. I thought he was just showing me his tattoos. I guess when they take off clothes it's a form of flirting. Also buying drinks, touching of anykind (but some people are just friendly touchy types). My mom wonders how I ever get with anyone because I'm oblivious really to men flirting. However I'm starting to pick up on it because I can see the guy I do like get jealous once in a while. He won't date me because I'm still married and of course when he flirts I freeze. I wish people would just say hey I like you want to go out?
  5. Jetta
    Well I go to the bar myself, and I found I have a similar problem as you stated (old icky guys). In those cases don't be nice, just get up and walk away. Head to the bathroom, sit elsewhere. It works. Since going I have also met a few people (my age range) and generally I head towards the places I know at least one of them will be, so I'm not technically alone anymore. Once in a while I can talk a friend into going with me.
  6. Jetta
    We're barely scraping by as it is. We own a home that isn't in selling condition. He won't move out, and I can't afford to at this time. So what are my options? Any ideas, advice, anything? I have my first appointment with my attorney next week. I really want to get things going but how?
  7. Jetta
    Wow that's great! Congratulations.
  8. Jetta
    Annie, Basically I knew from the start he wasn't the guy for me. I just caved to peer pressure really. My mom said give him a chance after I told her I didn't like him. My best friend who was casual friends with him thought he'd be good for me and kept talking me into seeing him. Eventually I moved in with him and then pretty much got to the point that marriage seemed like the right thing to do. We have numerous reasons to divorce, I'd just rather not get into it all. My mother in-law has even said our marriage has survived what most wouldn't, so yes I've fought to make it work despite my true feelings. I am surprised that I feel so happy about leaving him considering my current state of affairs. But I think God is supporting me, even if everyone around me thinks I've lost my mind. Oh and as far as providing a home for us, that would be his parents paying our mortgage and the state providing medical care for his child. He hasn't provided much but a warm body to sleep next to at night.
  9. Jetta
    Married 4 1/2 years. Together 7 years (met him during the seperation/divorce of my abusive/cheating 1st husband). I wanted nothing to do with men, I had no desire to be in a relationship but he would just hang around. I've never had strong feelings for him I married for the wrong reasons (mainly because I thought my son needed a male role model). Like I said he's not a bad guy, not a great guy either, and I don't love him and was starting to hate my kid because a lot of the reasons I married this man was related to having my son. My soon to be ex and I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I figured we could share custody, and I really just want to be away from him. He's still hanging and trying to understand why I want to leave and honestly I just hate being married.
  10. Jetta
    Oh I have been, that's what a bit freaky. Oh it's loads of fun but when reality hits boy I hope I'm still happy with my choices.
  11. Jetta
    I'm happy about getting divorced. I don't hate my husband, but I don't love him. I'm not happy that it hurts him and that I'm breaking up the family, but I feel so excited and free. It's strange to me that I'm having these feelings. I mean he's a descent guy but he's just not the right guy for me. I'm acting so out of character that I'm starting to scare myself. I honestly don't really understand why I'm feeling so positive about this, it really makes no sense to me.
  12. Jetta
    Do you really want to go through with this marriage knowing this information? I mean he cheated on you. Does it matter who the girl is really? A cheater will always find someone to cheat with. You need to decide now if you are willing to be married to a cheater, he will do this again. Stop blaming her and look at him.
  13. Jetta
    I totally go for the myseterious type. I generally find out they're shy rather than mysterious though. Maybe if other girls realized this or you were a bit better at picking up on their cues you'd date more.
  14. Jetta
    I also have an unapproachable vibe. Some of it I have figured out, other parts of it I haven't. I have a natural frown, so unless I make a point to smile people think I'm angry about something. Some also think I'm a snob. I dress nicely, am generally friendly, so I haven't really figured that one out. I am a bit on the shy side, and don't always know what to say as a response to people, so that could be why. I had a boss who was good looking and seemed unapproachable, actually he was a really nice guy but he was just very shy. Shyness coupled with good looks made him appear snobbish when it wasn't the case at all. He was told to start smiling and saying hi to people to at least open the lines of communication.
  15. Jetta
    Wonderful information. I know a previous poster didn't agree with the fighting part but I do agree that sometimes it's necessary (after all other things have been tried). Sitting there and taking abuse will not stop it. Asking them to stop may end it, and if not tell them to stop or else they will be punched is a last ditch effort. I've given this advice to my son. The school didn't like it but he said it was the only thing that got the kid to stop teasing him. Sometimes brute force is necessary (ask a police officer).
  16. Jetta
    It could be a hormonal problem or she could be holding a grudge about something. Is she upset with you for any reason? Do you do other things together besides have sex? Do your romance her in any way without it always having to lead to incourse? It sounds to me like you're relationship never really developed beyond a sexual one. Counseling would be a good idea. I really think less focus on sex may actually bring about a better sexual relationship.
  17. Jetta
    You'll make new friends and meet people who will and do understand you.
  18. Jetta
    Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know that at 17 you really don't have a lot of options right at this moment, but you do have the option to plan. Right now you can be planning your future. Applying for financial aid and/or government grants for college (they have medical coverage for students). You can be building a better life for yourself so this situation as awful and challenging as it is will only be a dim memory in your bright future. Now I have attempted suicide, and at the time it was a horrible time in my life and I really didn't feel there was any way out. I was saved, and life is far from perfect, but each day I continue working and striving for a better future. At 17 the best part of life is waiting for you. You have so many options. Write down your goals. You create your future by the choices you make today. You can overcome this family you were born into. You don't have to be a miserable person like they have choosen to be. Know in your heart that one day they will eat those harsh words. I am sending prayers to you.
  19. Jetta
    Thanks for your input. It really helped.
  20. Jetta
    I hope I can do that. At least he knows I like him, I've told everyone but him. My best friend embarressed me royally one night because she wanted to meet the mystery man. She actually walked into where he worked and asked if she could talk to him. I turned bright red, yes I was with her. He came over, sat next to me, and had a conversation with us then got up and left. I feel like a freaking teenager! That's just not supposed to happen. That's why I wasn't sure if he was being nice cause he liked the attention, or if he was serious. When he stumbled over the chair and had a very big smile then I leaned more towards he's feeling it too. But I'm still wary.
  21. Jetta
    I really like this guy but when he flirts with me I don't flirt back. I'm a natural flirt (I've recently discovered) and flirt easily with guys I don't necessarily like, but with him I freeze or come off as unresponsive. I don't react like a normal person, and I don't get it! He put his arm around me the other night to give me a friendly hug I basically froze up. I wanted recipricate but I like him so much it scares me. I've never liked a guy as much as I like him. It's like I'm not sure if he's really flirting cause he's interested (even though I'm pretty sure he is) or if he's just being friendly flirting. He's also naturally flirtatious. This is just not a good way to get with him, so what can I do? I do think he likes me because he became jealous of me flirting with other guys (that I didn't realize I was flirting with). I also showed up unexpectedly once and he stubbled over a chair when he saw me. Can I overcome this somehow? Or will it work itself out eventually? I mean it's the strangest thing to me. Why do I become so stiff around him?
  22. Jetta
    Maybe it's the way you talk to people. You speak with intelligence, use proper English, etc.
  23. Jetta
    Thanks for your input. Randy I don't like the other guy. I know that when I see him from a distance I'm attracted to his appearance. I know we talk easily, but something about him scares me for some reason. I can't figure it out because on the surface we really seem to click, but I just can't go there with him. The guy I like came over and put his arm around me, and hugged me for a while. I didn't hug him back. I really like him, too much, and I just don't know what his intentions are (we both give mixed messages). I know he avoided eye contact, he also was really watching how I interacted with that other guy. It's just weird. Okay maybe it's my fault for not showing interest in him. I just really like him and I'm scared because I can't read him.
  24. Jetta
    I like this guy I'll call Chad (not his real name). Yet I really can't figure him out. He seems to have a love hate thing going, no we haven't dated or aren't dating. But we run into each other a lot, and basically there's a lot of game playing with him. When I'm around him I'm more ackward. I haven't had strong feelings like this for a guy before so it really kind of freaks me out. He's tall, dark, and handsome. He's just totally adorable and has dimples. Okay this other guy I'll call Mike. We can easily talk with each other and he's very forward. He told me he really likes me a lot and wonders why I never recripricate him when he flirts. I've always thought he was totally attractive. First time I saw him I basically jaw dropped because he was just wow. A friend of mine really likes him and they dated for a while so I feel like he's off limits, even though he disagrees (he's not into her but she's really into him). Also I'm not sure it's me he likes or just wants a piece. But I do have fun when I'm around him. And he knows I totally like the other guy. Why do I prefer the guy that seems to have little interest in me, yet the one that's putting himself out there isn't the one I really want.
  25. Jetta
    My friends think he seems like a nice guy, but he plays a lot of games. I'll explain the most recent situation. He works at a restaurant and overheard me say I was taking my kids out to dinner on such and such a night. He then announced to a friend the hours he'd be working that day, which she repeated back, just to make sure I heard. I did hear but didn't end up going there (too far away from where we were). The next night that place usually hosts karaoke. I show up for karaoke and he's basically surprised to see me (he stubbled over a chair). He tells me that karaoke has been cancelled (he's the one in charge of cancelling it), and led me to believe it wasn't happening there ever again. I was bummed, and after he saw my reaction he told some people (via a glance and nod) to tell me it's going to be there on the 17th. My assumption is he was upset that I didn't show up the night before. We've had an ongoing thing for a while now, mostly mental games. He'll show up at places I'm at, he has friends who've befriended me to gather information about me. He's done things to get my attention, and alter behaviors based on things I've said. So what is this about?
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