Jetta

I'm not a male, but of course there is hope. Some guys don't even hit their final growth spurt until age 18/19. Trust me life exists after high school, and soon you'll barely remember those high school days or people who seem so important.

Thanks Hope. DN that's why he's waiting to ask me out. He knows. He actually knows a lot about me (I was trying to scare him off initially). Flora I'm so glad the butterflies are still there. I'll have to go check out your posts.

Ordinarily I'm not a person who gets nervous around guys. Most of my good friends and closest family members were male. I don't have any problem speaking to guys I meet because I feel more comfortable with guys than girls. Then comes "Mark". I act like a giddy teenager around him, which is just so unlike me I don't get it! He is the one guy I just can't easily approach because my nerves are just rattled whenever he's in the same room. I feel like such a dork. I have a stupid smile on my face that I try to hide but really don't think I do. I either stare in his direction or try not to look his way in hopes of feeling relatively normal. Last night at karaoke he came and stood nearby I was so rattled I had to buy a drink so I would calm down. I don't know what to say to him when he comes up to me. It's just crazy! Where are these feelings coming from? Why can't I just be normal around him? I just have never experienced this before in my life. Say he asks me out (I know he's waiting to), will I act like a dork or will this emotional overloard eventually simmer down? I'll add that as much as I hate feeling rattled I totally love being around him. I know inside he's laughing about it, but he's trying to be all cool on the outside. Just like I usually try to do, but dropping stuff and tripping is a pretty big tip off.

I've mentioned how I think I'm depressed to my therapist who has basically dismissed it, she thinks I have anxiety disorder, but nothings been done about either and I'm really tired of feeling this way. I know I come accross as a happy, goal oriented person, but really I'm often wondering why it all matters or feeling overwhelmed by all the crap going on in life. I quit wishing to die for the most part since meeting this guy that has me on cloud 9 when I'm around him. Believe me I know it's bad to rely on someone else for happiness and I am generally happy alone, but he's really brought something to my life that is just heaven sent. I also know he's so far from my ideal I really am questioning my sanity about that whole thing. Every year of my adulthood I have had major life change going on, the stress alone is unreal. Maybe it's all just really catching up to me. But then I wonder why do I always seem to have so much going on in life? Is everyones life like this or am I just a person who can't handle stability for too long? I don't care for change, but then again I get bored easily. So it's like a catch 22. I have some assessment results coming soon. I really can't wait to hear what the results indicate.

I know he's a soulmate but we're not dating yet, so why is he acting this way? Okay this guy has shown interest but generally layed low because I'm not divorced yet, no he's not the reason I'm divorcing. He's one of the reasons I'm scared to divorce. The good part is: I have a glow since meeting him, which is maintained just by being in the same room or even thinking about him. I glow to the point I've been getting hit on a lot more since meeting him because I'm just so joyful. My mom says I'm radiating beauty. My friend said I was serene. We haven't gone out on an official date or made out in anyway but we do end up running into each other on a regular basis. Basically where I go and see him I'm considered his girl, even though I'm not physically involved and he really keeps his distance from me most of the time (we're talking he won't even say Hi to me, except for rare occasions). Most of his friends keep an eye on me for him (he works nights) and I know pretty well who those friends are. When I'm around him he would get very jealous when other guys would talk with me and would start flirting with other girls. Yeah it was really pissing me off despite my attempt to hide my feelings and he has quit doing it. He never approaches me or anything, all this communcation is done via body language really. Like a guy was talking with me, he was looking but not making it noticeable. He was getting very upset to the point he got up and left. He did say goodbye when he noticed my body language was telling this guy to get away from me. I wasn't even interested in this guy, but was just being friendly. Another time his female friend actually came up, grabbed me and took me away from a guy I was having a conversation with, yeah he was cute and we were having fun. Soulmate guy wasn't there but it's like she's was told to keep an eye on me or something. She was forceful, and for a tiny girl I was little shocked. I don't even know where he lives, his phone number, or last name. Yet he's already laid claim to me, which has me a bit concerned. Isn't that a bit possessive? Granted there is this huge connection between us, but isn't this a bit premature? I will say that last week I had a sense he was tired of waiting around and I went into a depression about never seeing him again, so there is something there. I try not to get all possessive of him so what's his deal? He's gotten depressed when I really didn't think I could get involved with him and visa versa. It's just the oddest thing in my life, but honestly we are totally different people from very different backgrounds. The feelings I have for him have me questioning my sanity, honestly. Oh I really want to know how two people from different worlds could ever make something work, and why has he already made me his girl? I know he's a soulmate because I had vision of our past life together. I guess he has had a vision too because of the way his friend referred to me the other night. We were from different classes then, and we are again in a different sense. It's so cool and so frightening.

Sounds like you learned a valuable lesson. The girl is gone, let her go in your heart. You don't have to have a girlfriend in you life, focus on getting an education. You don't have to pick one or the other. The first relationship is over. The 2nd isn't what you thought it would be so tell her it's over. Don't hang onto someone just for the sake of having a person in your life. Learn to be independent.

Sapphire, Perhaps now it's really hitting him now and he'd be more willing to make some small changes. You could always bring up therapy again and see if he'd go now. If he won't then you really know it's over, if he says okay then you know deep in his heart he does want things to work out with out. Good luck.

Oh that's good to know about the bank. Thanks Annie.

I used to know one personally at work, but I don't anymore. Do the courthouses have notarys? I have my divorce papers but they need to be signed in front of a notary. Where can you find that usually?

From what I've read here I believe if you were to attend marriage counseling your marriage could in fact be saved. If you do want to save this marriage look into it. If anything it may help you work through the feelings you have about the divorce. You can go alone to discuss your marriage, but if you could get him to go that would be ideal.

DroptoZero that does have a lot to do with it. I'm not going to sell my soul for a few bucks, so honestly money flashers are more of a turn off than turn on. I know he likes me but sometimes he really makes me work to get his attention.

He's single. I mean he doesn't readily make himself available to me. He started doing this when he overheard me mention to a friend that I have a thing for guys who are a little distant or mysterious. For a while I couldn't figure out why he was so distant than I remembered the remark I had made before. Another friend thought he may be gay so he made a major point to flirt with woman so I'd know he liked woman. That really pissed me off so he quit doing it, and I later found out they were all just good friends, but still, he wasn't flirting with me. He'll show up where I'm at but talke to everyone but me. He does now, but wasn't for the longest time. Just all kinds of stuff. Honestly I don't know if it's his game that's got me or if it's really him. I've been trying to figure him out forever. All I know he really likes me, because he totally stumbled and beamed with a smile when I caught him off guard and showed up unexpectedly once. But really I don't know much about him, okay I suppose I do quite a bit, but I really hate that he smokes. Yes I am really 31, still in shock about that age myself. I don't date much so I'm really not all that intune with it, I end up in relationships. I've had one relationship break since I was 18, and that was 10 months without anyone in my life (well a couple tried but I was firm with having my space).

Oh the chair guy said he was doing his usual gentleman thing, or something along those lines. I couldn't figure him out because was talking to everyone but me (minus the chair thing), which is why I started talking to other guy. His friend who initiated the conversation I know is married to the female bartender (whose really attractive anyway). But even she seemed to be annoyed that he was talking to me. It makes me laugh but at the same time it kind of sucks. Okay the real reason I'm wondering is because there is this guy I like, but he barely talks to me at all which is driving me crazy. I know he listens when I talk and then he does things based on what I've said. Only now I'm starting to wonder if it's him I like or the fact he's not so available, which is kind of something I mentioned I liked. Well I do know I like him because he totally stared at me one day and I actually got super shaky nervous. But he knows I like him so why is he still trying to impress me? When I say impress, it's not the avoiding thing I'm referring to, just other things he's done.

Okay I don't know what it is about me but guys are always trying to impress me. Seriously I'm not this raving beauty or anything. I don't get it. Why are they trying to impress me rather just be their normal selves? I'll give some examples: Last night I was at karaoke, a couple guys started talking to me and asking why I was standing and not sitting. I said well the bar was full and joked I wasn't cool enough to sit at the bar anyway. One guy got up and said here take my chair and did the whole gentleman pull thing. He pulled up another chair beside me. Throughout the night an older man came over a few times flashing cash and smiling at me, okay weird because his date was at a nearby table. Aside from the guy whom I started chatting with casually I felt like a swarm of bees surrounded me. All I know is that I was in a pretty descent mood, but what's the deal? Women on the other hand will basically have nothing to do with me and generally are pretty mean. Anyway why does this happen?

Yeah I know. I do tend to think too much. We had court today, and the list was just awful. Stuff in black and white really hits a person. There has been several incidents between my husband and son. I wish I were smarter about people. I'm just really emotional today and have been lately. I hope it passes soon, I hate feeling all icky.

Then Hope is probably onto something. She's afraid. So back off for a bit, give her the space she needs. I don't know if she will come around because I'm not her. But she's just not ready for whatever reason.

Okay I know it's the right thing to do, I'm just really going through anxiety about filing now. Part of me wonders if I'm losing my mind. Another part is wondering if I just have issues with commitment. And of course I know I have actual reasons to divorce, but I always think if I just tried a little harder maybe just maybe we could work things out. Even my mom says it's a lost cause. Okay the worst really is really seeing him with his daughter and know that she won't have a daddy around like I did. It just breaks my heart.

My thoughts are the kids didn't like you or something, and she has decided to end it. So no don't contact her.

Flora, I'm kind of seeing a guy in this manner. His friends will tell him I'm someplace and he'll show up. In this guys case it's a trust thing. He has been hurt pretty badly in the past and is keeping his distance until he's confident about me as a person or whatever. I do think there is some shyness in there too, at least with women. He seems to know a lot of people and be outgoing enough. I honestly wasn't even sure what he was doing initially. I know why my guy hasn't asked me out yet. In your case you may have to take a pretty bold step with him, as in walk up hand him your number and say give me a call sometime.

I'm at this point now. What am I willing to do for love? It has really been a tough decision, because I never really believed love like this existed before and I wasn't sure it would last. It's an individual process that's for sure. And as much as I felt I would need to give up he has also sacrificed things for me.

It may sound that way but really it's not that they tell me what I want. I was just so into pleasing others that I thought of their feelings more than my own. I do still struggle with it, but I am making progress. I've at least learned that I'm the one living this life and if I don't want to do something, I don't.

Ha I've never felt that way, but every guy I've been involved with I end up married to. I was trying to figure out why that is. Aside from my inability to say no firmly.

I'd really like to have this explained to me, since I seem to be that kind.

You obviously can't stay with someone out of fear of their reaction. You need to tell her what you've said here basically. Say it's time for you to move on. That if this is too much for her to deal with she should consult her doctor or give her the suicide hotline number. Her depression is her problem, not something you should be taking on yourself. I know you care about her, but this is something she needs professional help for.

I'm very aware relationship require work. I'd much rather work on a relationship with someone I love deeply than someone I don't. I realize he and I would have a lot to work on and we're both old enough to realize that, it's just a question of it being possible. I'm not wording it exactly how I'm thinking but it's a question I've asked myself a lot.