Jetta

It's scary to me because of the emotions involved. He gets to my core like no one else (aside from my kids). That is what scares me. It's a lack of control. I need to be in control of my emotions and with him it's a lot harder. I'll add that's on the negative side. Generally when I'm around him I'm so happy I have a glow. I just radiate for days usually after seeing him just by thinking about him. I don't have it when when something happens that risks or upsets the connection, like it did yesterday.

It's nothing like I thought a soulmate meeting would be. I have a deep love for this person that is truly rare. The things I know about him that would normally have me running for the hills don't alter my feelings for this man. He could do anything and I do mean anything, and yes it would or could be very hurtful, but the love I feel for him would still be there. Logically I want to stay away from him, but my heart hurts as if it's breaking if I do or if he does me. I know it's the same way for him. He's been a mess when he thought I wasn't coming around anymore. We lift each other up, and we break each other down. His lifestyle is so very different from my own I really don't know if I could live in that manner. But living without him is just so emotionally painful I don't want to do it either. I'm really afraid of being with him and of being without him. They say soulmate relationships are hard work. Yeah I can see it. We aren't even involved yet really and it's already causing a lot of heartache on both sides. I'm not posting to get advice, more to inform others that soulmates are real. And to let others know its not going to be a happy ever thing. Who knows maybe it'll get there, but for now it's scary.

I actually prefer guys with less experience personally. It's a safety thing for me. I'm really paranoid about STD's.

You could try the ribbed condoms. Those help me. Since I can't take the pill we use them during my peak times (via natural family planning). Really a woman is only able to get pregnant about 1 week a month but that timeframe varies per person.

Yeah I know what I have to do, I'm just scared to death to do it. Freedom is my biggest desire in life. Single parenthood brings more responsibility and less freedom. I need more help than I even know how to ask for. I need to vent: I want to collapse under all the stress, yet I can't. I have to purserver despite my true feelings. People think I'm this strong person. Ha. What choice do I have? In my son's life I'm it. I am the only person he has in this world to count on, even social services has said it. His foster family can barely handle him, but I am supposed to be able to do it!? I am a person just hoping that someday there's a payoff for all this hell. I really hate to believe the best part of my life was my childhood. Even that wasn't great, but compared to adulthood childhood was a cakewalk. I've said it before and I'm saying it again. God sent me this child, he needs to send me the tools to raise him. Really where can I go when I just can't do it anymore? Life has been too hard for too long and I'm really tired.

Well I have a strong liking for a bi guy who prefers men, so I can relate. Not really sure why he says he's bi. I guess the only real advice I have is to distance yourself from this person, but I haven't been able to.

Yes you are pregnant. With my 2 1/2 year old I had a ghost type line. I honestly thought I was imagining a line. The faint positive is a positive. Do not take the medication, it may cause birth defects. Call your doctor asap.

Yes my husband kicked my son and has also hit him I later found out. He's on 2 years probation and in anger management now. My son is on concerta for ADHD, and they think he may struggle with anxiety because he cannot handle change at all (like a change in schedule even). It's crazy because he'll be very disgruntle if you say you're going to dinner at D's and end up at J's he won't eat because he's so mad about not going where we said. He's also oppositional, but I've learned some parenting techniques that help a little. Some rules are set in stone and those are no longer argued, but he'll argue insignificant things (at least to me it is). Practicing some of this on my 2 year old has helped. She's a two year old that rarely has a tantrum, it rocks!

I was so certain I wanted to divorce my husband and well now I'm not. You see my son has some mental health problem(s), still figuring out the exact diagnosis. His bio-dad can't take him, he has abuse on record. I'm really the only reliable person in this kids life and I'm burnt out after 9 years of hell. I couldn't manage this child on my own and I married a man I didn't deeply love for help. Now I know that's horrible, but even the therapist says this is most difficult child he's ever worked with and he has 3 kids with ADD. My son has a very bad temper, doesn't listen to any rules, and I just can't do it on my own. My husband can't deal with him either (they end up arguing all the time). Social services said they'd arrange respite care, but highly recommend I get family heavily involved. Yeah that will only work for so long. Thinking about it is just draining. I don't even know the point of this post. Should I stick with a man I don't love to help me raise this satan child for the next 9 years? He's descent, says he loves me and of course his daughter, truly a dream child. However he's struggled with employment throughout our marriage, lacks initiative, is unreliable, etc. Doing a pros/cons list (cons are slightly higher than pros). As much as I don't want to be married to this man, I don't think I can parent this 9 year old alone. At least he isn't abusive. I really don't know what to do.

Really being fired is truly a blessing in disquise. I'd recommend going to a community college. It's cheaper and you'd could always transfer to a 4 year upon completion. I got a job I stuck with for 5 years at a major corporation after being fired from one I hated. It sounds like you'd really like to further your education and really why not now? Look into financial aid some schools offer work study type programs too. Good luck.

I get the most attention when I wear blues or puples because it brings out the color of my eyes.

"Vigilant in guarding something" "Intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity" Taken from link removed

Those are great.

Well you can't stay miserable just because you think in some way the kids will benefit from this. How are they benefitting? You're stressed out, your husband is never home, really how are they benefitting from you saving this marriage? I truly believe if you decide to leave a family member will come out of the woodwork to offer you support. But you need to decide what you want to do. Either decide to stay and endure, or get out. Okay I'm sorry about being so harsh but he's a womanizer, which is why he's unable to stay in a committed relationship. Yes you have 3 children. When you make decisions that will ultimately better your family things happen to help you move along that path. If you're worried about being single forever, well that just won't happen unless you really want it to. I know I thought I was going to be single forever after my first marriage ended. I was wrong.

Okay that was a really defensive answer. I'd rather stay until I got the job thing figured out, but I'm being pressured by social services. I do have a brother who lives locally I could stay with for a while if absolutely necessary. I'd rather not but his roommates have moved out and he could some extra income. I do have options, but really I'd prefer to be self supporting. My son does receive child support from his dad which helps, not a lot but it's something (right now it goes to the county to pay for his placement).

Well I don't know your age range, but I'm assuming your young. Pretty much dating and break-ups are natural. It's never easy but you learn from each person as you go along. Hopefully one day you find that one person whose going to be your life partner but even that one day your relationship with them will end (people do die and not usually together). I understand you feel a piece of you has gone with that person. Know that you will heal and likely think of them with fondness, or not. But try not to hang on to the past too much it'll keep you there for too long and you have the here and now to live in.

I was reading about flirting body language and well I'm giving off the wrong vibe. I really like this guy, too much honestly, and because of that it scares me to be around him. Like if he touches me rather than be receptive and touch back or play into it I close off. I read that where your feet point is who you're attracted to. Okay they are my least favorite feature. I'm self conscious about my legs so when he's around I try to hide them. He seems keen on body language so I think he may wonder if I'm interested or not but I am. I just feel way too nervous around him. Do guys really believe fully in all that kind of stuff or am I just worrying over nothing? Are there ways to counteract my natural tendency to run away.

Okay yes the way a man proposes to you basically says a lot about the man himself. Not kidding. I've been married twice. The first one went all out, and was really about pleasing his friends than me as he invited them all along (same way in the marriage). The 2nd well it sucked as has the marriage. How can a proposal suck? Trust me it can. I wanted to say NO in both cases but was thinking about their feelings rather than my own. First guy I didn't want to embaress, the 2nd asked so many times I just gave up basically.

Smallworld, The reason I would need to leave my husband is because he cannot deal with this child, as he acts like one himself. The stress of their relationship is why I placed my son outside of the home. I had asked my husband for a trial seperation so I could see how my son acted with him not around, he refused to leave. He antaganizes him a lot. If my son is autistic his symptoms filt under the milder form of PDD I think it's called. Still he's not an easy kid but my therapist says he'd likely outgrow the sensativities. Since stating I want a divorce my husband has held down a job. He's still not working a full-time job, but rather a contract and his parents are paying our mortgage. He has never been motivated to be a good provider. His uncle told me to hold off on finding a job until he did, it's been 2 years! In our 4 1/2 years of marriage he has been laid off 3 times, at first I figured that's life, but now I see he has a problem. He has not followed through in any way shape or form and I'm fed up with it. He's unreliable. Social services has even said don't count on him for any support because he's just not capable of it. Basically married or not I'm on my own. My mom told me when I quit my job to stay home with the baby I had made a huge mistake. We discussed the pregnancy, budgetted for me to stay home, and he fell through on his end in more ways than I care to bring up.

Passions, This other man has been giving me space. So much so I thought it was all in my head until that indescretion which was very unlike me. I'll have to pursue a regular job a little harder. As far as dream job, well this field isn't my dream job just something I thought I'd enjoy a bit more. My dream job is along the fantasy lines. Oh and FYI the magic wand comment was a joke.

Well my life is really topsy turvy and if you read this and still think I'm sane well I'm really doubting it these days. My son was voluntarily placed in foster care back in February. He's improving a lot, which means I'm not raising a criminal which was a serious concern. However now they're thinking he have a form of autism. Strange considering he's a very outgoing child. The reason is he's ultra sensative to noise, touch, and smell. Okay so now I have to get that aspect of life figured out. First it was ADHD, ODD, possible bi-polar, now this. I really hope we get to the bottem of this soon. It's really taking an emotional toll to say to the least. On top of my son's stuff, I have a husband who has been virtually unemployed the last 2 years. Okay he's working contract jobs the last year or so, but he really doesn't like to work. I'm fed up with him and really really want a divorce. Yet being a single mother to a toddler and special needs 9 year old scares me to death. Also I'm trying to get into a new field because I completely hated my old one and it's not going as smoothly as I was hoping it would. I suppose I should be estactic about my 1 client. I mean I do have 1 now, referred to me by my brother. So there is a glimmer of hope for me career wise (Thank you God). That's not even everything. My dad whose health had be going downhill the last year passed away on the 16th. My therapist assures me I'm going through the normal stages of grief even though most think I'm taking it surprising well. My dad was the man I admired and loved most in this world. I'll really miss him. It was his time to go though, and he passed during a nap. I really don't think he could have left in a better way. No I don't really believe in death because our soul is eternal. He's around, just not in that way anymore. Now with that said back in November I met a guy and have very strong feelings for him. Basically it's the first time I realized someone I didn't really know could touch my heart so deeply. It's mutual, but nothing between us has happened. However I had a one night stand with an acquaintance a month ago and crushed this other guy. My husband doesn't know about that but he knows I'm in love with someone else. I'm so sick of my husband hanging on me and not listening to me tell him I want a divorce. I really didn't realize how that would hurt the other guy, but that is when I knew he really was feeling what I was feeling for him. My real problem is I can't focus on anything because there's just too much to figure out. I know everyone will say forget the other guy, which is why I try not to even consider him in my thought process. But the fact is my heart is with this other guy and I need to have him in my life in some way. The facts are: **I have decided to divorce only I don't know how I'm going to raise two children alone. **I don't know where to focus my engeries career wise. It'd be nice if I had more time to get that business going but I need a source of income like yesterday. **My son can't come home until ... I'm either divorced or determined to stay married. Social Services won't waste money on working on their relationship if we're not staying together, of course. **Where am I going to live with two kids??? Again MONEY is a HUGE concern. Yeah I need a miracle and better decision making skills. Working on following that intuition I've usually dismissed in favor of logic. If you're wondering why social services is involved it's because my husband kicked my son in the back. They've learned my son does have some problems beyond poor parenting. Okay now if someone can just wave a magic wand and make everything all better I'd really appreciate it. Hey I still have to dream, it's pretty much all I've got.

RayKay is right. Get premarital counseling and honestly decide if this is a person you really want to spend your life with. People generally get worse after marriage, not better, so keep that in mind. It seems like you're getting lucky and seeing her true side now.

Jonathon, EVERYONE feels this way once in a while. I really think these times are designed for us to take stock in what we do have, what we want to have, and what we need to do to get there. Yeah life sucks sometimes, but it's in those rough times that some of the greatest advances occur. This is just a blurp in the grand scheme of things, don't stay down for too long but figure out what you want and go for it.

Things happen because of karma we're here to work through in this incarnation. You may have choosen this look rather than something else because you thought it would be easier. And yes confidence has a lot to do with getting a girlfriend or not. Perhaps you were this jerky friend of yours last time around and now you get to feel what it's like on the other side of the fence.

Since you're 20 my guess is the man won't be around forever. Focus on the career.