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Jetta

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Everything posted by Jetta

  1. Jetta
    If you dress well you're fine. It's not the name it's the style, at least in my case. I'm kind of anti name brand though. I prefer guys who know how to dress neatly rather than ones who have to have the latest in designer names. I mean that's wasted money IMO. I'd rather live in a nicer house, drive a nicer car than wear something that has someone elses name on it.
  2. Jetta
    Thanks for the tips and advice.
  3. Jetta
    He's shown me in other ways he's interested, but this is one thing I didn't understand. I've figured it out though. Our first real interaction was him coming up to me kissing my hand, he's bought me drinks (touched my hand while serving it), etc. Then he does this other stuff that has me wondering. Yeah I thought it was all in my head too, but I now know otherwise (rather not get into it).
  4. Jetta
    LtAwesome I think you hit the nail on the head. For those wondering: This guy and I have a flirtation thing going on and that was one of the many things he does that I have never figured out. He'll also arrange it so I have to come up to him to get a drink instead of going out to my table. He'll serve the table next to me and then walk right past mine. He does this kind of stuff all the time. I was starting to get really annoyed by it.
  5. Jetta
    I'm trying to figure this out. This guy is the bartender but when I go up to the bar he ignores me, why? I really don't get it. I'm not a huge drinker, I tip descently, it's like he pretends he can't see me or hear me sometimes. Why? For example last night I was out with a girlfriend. I went to get her a water and myself a drink. I go up call his name (yes I know it small town). He was 3 feet away and didn't respond. He was doing something clearing or something but I know he heard me. The other bartender comes up, right next to me, calls his name and basically says I'm waiting. Then he was all friendly and nice to me, but what's the deal? Why could hear her and not me? Yeah I probably posted on the wrong forum, sorry.
  6. Jetta
    Does anyone have any tips on helping someone who has been a housewife for 33 years cope with the loss of her husband? It wasn't an unexpected loss as his health was deteriorating but it's still a major change. I'll add financially she's taken care of so she won't need to run out and get a job or anything. I'm just curious if there is anything I can do to assist her in the transition to independance.
  7. Jetta
    She does this because she equates jealousy with love. She doesn't think your feelings for her are strong if you don't get jealous.
  8. Jetta
    She's either cheating herself or is very insecure.
  9. Jetta
    Ha he stood me up. Well I'm not exactly sure what he's trying to prove, but this has just reminded me how unreliable he is and that I will need to use an attorney rather than do it ourself. Guess I'll be pulling out my credit card. I've paid it off before so I'm not worried about it, I just hate doing it. Just had to get that vent out. LOL
  10. Jetta
    Kate I'm so sorry you're going through this. I suggest you get counseling to heal yourself and see if this marriage is worth saving. I did not get counseling right away like I should have and 10 years later I'm forced to deal with it, in addition the additional problems added on because of not handling them sooner. Please go to a professional to work through your feelings and help you decide the best route to take.
  11. Jetta
    Since my dad is in a similar predicament, my advice is to realize he is NOT DEAD yet. Like you said he could live for another 2 years, and in fact any of us could die tomorrow. So enjoy the time you have together. I know it's hard to put it out of your mind but believe me it's better if you do for them and for you. My dad has already outlived the doctors predictions for his life expectancy. There are new advances in health daily and there are always alternative remedies that he could try if he so desires. I don't know what the specific problem your dad has, but my best advice is to enjoy him while he's here and save the grieving for when he's gone (as much as possible).
  12. Jetta
    No she's not. She hasn't said anything except don't make any rash decisions, but then I have the social workers say I need to decide soon so that they can determine what programs to put in place. This afternoon my husband said that he won't contest a divorce if that's really what I want. We're going to talk more tonight and likely complete the paperwork. I've been contacted about a job in a different state (not sure about that one), but I'm sumbitting my resume for one locally that was referred to me so I'll have something soon.
  13. Jetta
    Really I don't feel like I have a good reason to leave, which is partially why we're married in the first place. I couldn't come up with a good enough reason to break up with him. I did break up with him once and ended up going because because of outside pressures. The fact is my feelings towards him are basically neutral. He annoys me but I don't hate him.
  14. Jetta
    I was never really "into" my husband. He's always been into me, and I was leaving an abusive marriage when I met him. He was the safe guy who offered comfort and support when I needed it. He even offered to babysit so I could have time for myself and friends. Yes my son is on medication which is constantly changing and being tweaked.
  15. Jetta
    My husband is the father of 1 of my children. He physically abused my other child, who I've voluntary placed in foster care because I couldn't deal with the constant commotion. I'm finally living in peace and I love it, but I still have to deal with the fact my son will come home and he and my husband don't get along. We're all in therapy but I really don't think any amount of therapy will make them compatible. My son is why I fear single parenthood. He's ADHD, ODD, and possible mood (anger) disorder. He's also very loving, happy, and outgoing. But it's like living with a jeckle and hyde. Everyone loves his good side but the bad is really bad. He's improving since being placed in fostercare so that's good, he's been there for almost 2 months. However the foster parents want me to take him longer so they can get a break. I usually see him about 3 times a week for visits, which my husband really doesn't participate in and sometimes attempts to deter. I was actually laughing because I really can't believe this is how my life turned out. It's like some kind of cosmic joke.
  16. Jetta
    Okay my life is in an upheaval, and my husband is laying on the sweetness which makes it that much harder to leave. I know I need to divorce, I want to divorce, but I need to be able to support myself and children. I feel like I'm in some kind of holding pattern and it's really frustrating me. I've nearly finished filling out the paperwork, a few details are still needed, but I'll get it done. I'm breaking out all over because I'm so stressed, mainly because he's acting like all is well and it's like living in a twillight zone. I've been trying to find a job, and I recently got licensed in real estate so it's like the kiss of death to potential employers. Yeah the actual real estate career is pushing me out of my comfort zone a little too much so I'm seeking alternate employment. My former career sucked royally and I really don't want to go back there. So on top of divorce I'm trying to break into a new field. Yeah stress. I so need a break and I'm honestly scared of single parenthood. I can barely handle life now, and alone is just scaring the crap out of me.
  17. Jetta
    Thank you Shes2smart. Your last piece of advice about the lawyer is really appreciated. And you are so right about the passing of time. Wow I really didn't think about that, even though it's hitting me in the face daily.
  18. Jetta
    Great post, thanks for sharing. Motivation comes from doing. I love that!
  19. Jetta
    Okay since the retainer fee isn't money I have lying around, should I use my credit card to cover it? I know eventually I'll pay it off (probably when I get the equity from the house), but it's one of those things I need another opinion about.
  20. Jetta
    Sounds like an HIV test to me.
  21. Jetta
    Is there a reason your wife isn't working? Can she take classes to develop some skills? They do have student loans. It really seems to me the financial stress is why you want to divorce. Debt colsolidation is a good start, they have financial advisors who can work with your debtors to make payment arrangements. If you really want to sell the house you can do an an AS-IS sale, or list it as a fixer upper. Depending on how long you've owned the home you'd probably break even with that kind of sale. First see if an apartment is less expansive than your current mortgages are. If you really want to divorce you can do it yourself. I found this on-line, and it's a lot cheaper than an attorney. link removed As far as childsupport in my state it would be 35% of your net income for 2 children, 25% for 1 child.
  22. Jetta
    Good luck to you both. Now start planning for the financial requirements, maybe start stocking up on stuff now. Diapers and formula aren't cheap.
  23. Jetta
    Is he incapable of being in a monogamous relationship? Honestly I'm not a jealous type but I really don't know what I'd be getting myself into. I mean I really don't get the whole bisexual thing. He's the only one I've met, that I'm aware of meeting anyway. I have never had such strong feelings towards a guy in my life, and I really wish I could forget about him but there is some connection there. If I think about how I want to see him, I will, it's like when I think of how I miss talking with a family member and then they call or show up at my door. It's a real connection. I can't allow him to get to close to me because the feelings are just so strong it freaks me out. I want to understand where he's coming from, and he is the one person I can't figure out. I think he's feeling the same thing because there's a buffer zone, and when he realized I knew about it he was shocked. A female friend of his has befriended me to get information (he didn't think I noticed). I don't know there's a lot going on in my head about this guy. He intrigues me for sure, but I don't know if it's a good thing or a stay far far away thing.
  24. Jetta
    You just haven't found the right girl. There are people out there who will love you for you, and even a few women out there that really love hairy guys. My mom used to tell me she thought of hairy men as more masculine, my dad wasn't a real hairy guy but she had a thing for hairier guys. Your dreamgirl may not love backhair but because it's part of you she'll accept it. None of us are perfect, even those percieved as perfect have things they don't like about themselves. Focus on what you have to offer and it sounds like a lot.
  25. Jetta
    Why can't you put him in daycare? If it's the hours look into a nanny service, home provider, or family member who can keep him or watch him while you're at work. There's always a way to do it if you really want to. And if your husband is depressed, which is what it sounds like to me, make the appointment and take him to the doctor (drag him if you have to). I'd try the nice approach first. Oh one other thought came to mind. Maybe if you talked to your husband about wanting to return to work it would help him. He may have told you to stay home because he thought it was what you wanted. Communicate with him. It sounds like you both hide your true feelings from each other. I think you can work things out. Good luck.
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