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Everything posted by Jetta

  1. Guy I'm dating and not serious about met my mom today. And i didn't buzz him in. I told him my mom was here and hung up, expected him to leave. He comes up doesn't knock walks in my unlocked door. Since he's here I had to play it off. I move a bag off the chair to my bedroom he follows me, bad move. I ask him to sit down. Mom starts telling stories. He finally says he has to go than asks me when I'll be home tomorrow. I tell him but don't want to see him. He's after sex, I'm not. I'm looking for a relationship to him I'm a fetish. How do i get out of this? I'm not happy he met my mom. He brought me a Christmas card. But honestly he thinks I'm more invested than i am. I want to break up with him. He denies it everytime i try. Mom says he's a nice guy. But he doesn't listen just does what he wants. Ack.
  2. Well my mom stopped over today to tell me about this carnivore diet she is starting and thinks I should too. I'm glad I live on my own now. Yes I will incorporate more protein and cut down on sugar and carbs but an all meat diet is NOT an enjoyable life to me. So I'd be thin but at what cost?! I enjoy going for coffee with my teen daughter, I enjoy eating at restaurants and having variety in my food choices. Yes I've not been following the ww plan exactly but they recently changed it and I'm super excited I get to pick the plan I follow, green, blue, or purple. Green is what I choose higher daily points 30 per day with 100 zero point foods, blue 200 zero point foods 23 minimum daily points, purple 300 zero point foods 16 minimum daily points. I need to lose some weight and I'm back on the program doing better than I have in a long time. I walked, and did toning exercises, I motivated to choose healthier options. With my family on Keto (brother) and carnivore (mom), I'm still doing my ww plan because it works in my life and incorporating some of their ideas, that match those of my diet coach. More protein less carbs. But I like a good salad once in a while and giving up veggies isn't really something I'm interested in doing, and adding liver to my diet not so much. So I'll just get back to basics with my ww plan, get into exercising moderately for health and vitality, and live my life. But Thanksgiving with no stuffing (which I don't eat anyway), or mashed potatoes seems extreme to me. Yes that is what my mom told me today. She has diabetes so is seeking a way to lower her A1C. Honestly it's a bit extreme and I'm a bit shocked right now.
  3. Asking for phone number to "text and get to know each other". Isn't that what dating is for? Is this the new way of doing things? Or should i have my guard up? Because right now my guard is up.
  4. Because I drink too much and it was reducing the sodium in my blood which if low can lead to organ failure. Back on plan, craved salt ate pickles not chips. Ate a healthy zero point dinner. Chicken breast, corn on the cob no butter, peas. Going to try and watch it all weekend. Aiming for blue dots which you get if you stay within a certain point range.
  5. Had a mental block and was happy with my size, in a comfortable place body wise. Am finally turning it around. I've started to exercise, am eating better again. Being a size 16 from a size 22 is an accomplishment, but there is still work to be done. I'd like to be a 12, ultimately an 8 but I'll see how it goes as I go. I really hung out at size 16, xl for almost a year. I've reduced my water, per doctors orders. 2 quarts a day. Had my physical and my cholesterol and triglycerides increased, so that knocked me off my comfortable place. Making changes to bring that down. I have 3 months. My mom went from a 16 to a 12 now. She quit ww, didn't like watching it that much but she's made some changes and is doing well. All in all. I'm walking mostly, doing some stretching exercises. Bodyflex on youtube, Lose weight in 30 days, an app. A strength training class, 2x a week when I go. I feel good.
  6. I can finally record at home! This has been a huge hurdle. I took a big step!
  7. I often think of certain decisions I made in the past I wish I could change. But I am working on manifesting my dream life, heck got nothing else to do. Live in the moment? So I just make plans and try for the impossible because my day to day would have me suicidal, if this really was all there is. I've achieved goals. I create more goals, small ones, big ones. I'm very goal oriented. Just found out I have an expiration date, I am not going to live forever. Not dying just see the signs of future health issues. So specific health goals are yet other goals. Life is only over when it's really over. Thankfully that will happen one day. But I'm going to enjoy myself as much as possible in the meantime. Pursuing dreams is part of that fun. I may look foolish but frankly that's the least of my concerns, experiences are my thing.
  8. Just entered a songwriting competition. I've entered before, hoping for a win, a career, money from music. I've been a finalist before.
  9. Ok I'm 45, at 45 my grandpa died, my cousin died, my dad at 45 had a triple by pass and lived for 18 years. My health though still good is starting to change. Cholesterol borderline high, I have 3 months to reduce it or start expensive meds. I'm back on WW. But I'm seeing the signs if how I'll die. It's making me depressed. I've talked to my therapist about it, he said focus on the changes you can make. So I'm trying to, but I'm fighting a strong family history of heart disease. I now know cancer or heart disease will get me. One day. I've had yet another cancer scare this year. I feel like i have an expiration date 10 to 15 years. I'm ok with it in some ways but have my reservations.
  10. I'm working with a producer on a song someone else wrote actually. I like the song but not her way of singing, not a mainstream sound. So that's the song I picked to sing, still waiting to get the instrumental version that I need to record my voice to. But I'm not all the way prepared myself, so I'm not pushing for things to happen. He said i have an "awesome voice" in the demo I sent him. So it's promising. I have to record the song at my apt. and send it to him, it's not a contract thing, just a work together thing.
  11. So I rejoined ww today! My calorie counting wasn't really working for me. My diet coach tells me what to do but the ww app really tells you what to do but assigning points to everything. Since June 14, 2019 I've gained 1 lb. So I wasn't gaining or really losing with the diet coach, though I have begun to exercise (once a week right now). A stregth training class. I've gone 2x. I also wasn't necessarily following her plan to the T either. But I never followed ww to the T and still lost weight, so all in all I think it's worth it. So I restarted today!
  12. And I'm achieving most of them. But unless I'm striving towards something I feel stagnate. I have boring goals like pay down debt. Lose weight, etc. I have an apartment things are going well. I just got a different car. I'm trying to learn to invest, I want a better future. I am disabled, work part time, pursuing dreams, have a couple things on the burner musically, a cowrite, a contest, and going to record a song that's someone elses song. My weight loss goal has hit a rough patch. I'm working on incorporating exercise, but haven't really. I started investing instead of gambling, but it's not as thrilling. Lot of hurry up and wait. I'm trying to figure out what I want most and go for it. My case manager is impressed, I've achieved so much since she's met me. But I think I need to define success. I'm not there yet, but I really don't know what would make me feel successful. A hit song? Money to burn? Success to me is more than money, it's achievement. My aunt just died. She achieved. 3 businesses, a college education Dean's list. A happy marriage (2nd one) but yet even her life had struggles. I'm wondering if she ever felt successful, will never get to ask. One business I wish I could take over, but I don't really know much except I like the business, her daughter inherited it all.
  13. I haven't been losing weight. Lots of stress since I moved, eating off plan, etc. I just quit ww. Due to cutting an expense. I'm focussing on what my diet coach suggests. Tracking with a calorie counter called lose it. A meal planner called mealtime. And a app lose weight in 30 days. I have the tools just need to use them.
  14. I'm torn between leasing a new car that I would plan to buy out. Or buying a used car that I don't have to worry about mileage on. Mom says buy certified used, it's too costly for me. Brother suggested leasing. Get a new car with modern technology and a low payment. I've done a pros cons for leasing pros won. But reality is I would worry about mileage. My car has 218k on it. I believe 18k of it in the last year. Thoughts, experiences?
  15. I got this heart rate monitor and it says I'm stressed, chronically stressed. Which if other factors are present puts me at risk for a heart attack. It says to change my lifestyle to reduce stress. My dad got that speech from a heart surgeon, I laughed because stress is part of life. But obviously my family can't cope well with stress. I feel calm but my heart rate monitor is right I'm stressed. So how do I reduce it? My first reading was 100% stressed and I am looking into buying a car which does stress me out. I have my brother looking for cars. Stress level in 70's now. But I think I'm running too much so I'm cutting out some group therapy. Switching individual therapists. Discussed change with case manager so not haphazard as it sounds. But it's a stressful change. I'm dating sort of. That's stressful. Daughter stuff, stressful. Life is just stressful. How do you cope with stress? I can't cut out everything.
  16. No you don't grow to love someone. My 2nd husband was that situation. He loved me I thought I'd grow to love him. Didn't happen, don't do it. Big mistake.
  17. DBT most helpful to me personally.
  18. Jetta

    I moved

    Almost settled. It was more costly than expected, started from scratch basically. Mom was against it now thinks it was a good decision. Good to have family support. Case manager got me connected and helped me get some stuff to start. Family and friends helped too. Its a nice apartment. Friendly people. Been here almost a month.
  19. Down 4.4 lbs this week total 35 lbs lost. Been going up and down but back on track and am beginning exercise.
  20. Yes therapist knows finances. And how meshed they are with family. How mom likes to spend my money by buying things and say here's what you owe. She thinks I'll be stronger financially on my own. I'm very much in a different place than I was. I don't pay for diet coach or therapy, insurance covers. Also she thinks the timing is perfect. My mom rented out another room in the house. 2 rooms are rented of 5 bedroom house. One used to be grandaugthers room.
  21. That is exactly how I feel. Like it's a test. And it's very difficult for me. They are my safety net in life and they are threatening to pull it. They have before when I was young, leading me to poor decisions. They believe I can't handle life on my own. My psychiatrist believes I can, therapist, group members, etc know I can, they're doing it. I was excited it's in my ideal location. Waited 2 years for apartment. Guess mom thought it would never come up. She just says living alone isn't all it's cracked up to be. I know that's true. It's hard living with family and going against them. She was pressuring me constantly I forgot what I wanted and why I was doing it, I caved. Just to get her off my back. But it's so much easier with their support than not.
  22. Never got this backlash before.
  23. No being disowned does. My mom is all or nothing. Moving out really scares me, family backlash is huge. Brother against it too. He says stay with mom, be patient. He'll do what she says regarding the will.
  24. She likes the help around the house, doesn't want to live alone. Thinks I'll relapse. I pay half for groceries and rent she likes the money. She thinks apt is too small and lacks amenities I'm accustomed to. Thinks I'll get depressed living there. Those are a few of the reasons I got.
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