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Jetta

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Everything posted by Jetta

  1. Jetta
    Thanks. I realized last time I'm not able to disconnect from him enough emotionally to just see it as an act. I saw how vulerable I really was, never have seen myself that way before. I just wanted to see what others opinions are about using sex to try an lure him back into my life. Really I'm starting to think that's all our relationship was based on since that's the one part of me he says he misses. Lord knows it's been a while and that aspect appeals but then I'd be high and dry again so there's no point in opening the door. Annie - I did want the divorce until I lost my daughter.
  2. Jetta
    I'm going to disagree with the previous poster. You know the one is the one when you know. There isn't a correct age, and people used to marry by age 21 and were considered old if they hadn't by age 25. That was my mom's generation. With that said you could also be entering a stage where marriage is beginning to cross your mind and entertaining thoughts of being married to her. If she really is the one she'll be with you until you are both truly ready to be married.
  3. Jetta
    So my ex-husband is coming over tonight to drop off girl scout cookies, and I know the real aim is sex. I'm debating about it but am aiming for no because I don't want to be used, and he's pretty clear about not wanting to reconcile. I had a male friend say I should because eventually I'd get him back. What do you say?
  4. Jetta
    Is she on some kind of medication? Twice a month?! Something is wrong. IMO 3-4 times a week is normal. Your twice a week isn't enough.
  5. Jetta
    At 23 someone told me I was a lost soul. So I understand the feeling of being lost. One poster said it, the point is to choose something and stick to it. That's the truth. You mentioned wanting to sing, well now's the time! Give it a shot! Hopefully you've had some training or play an instrument. Start up a band, join a band, do something with it. Why not go to school for music? They have some great colleges to study it. At 21 your still young just legal so give up that I'm old talk 'cause your not old yet. And if music doesn't work pick something else but stick with it.
  6. Jetta
    They have bras that minimize the appearance of large boobs. They generally aren't the cute bras but if it's really that awful for her she could wear those.
  7. Jetta
    Woah, sounds like this guy runs when the novelty wears off. Well you've already told her how you feel all you can do now is be there for her when he dumps her for the next one.
  8. Jetta
    Well it's not easy to bring it up. I know I did. We had a long talk and I think it helped to work through some issues. I felt like we kind of did our own therapy session. We both learned something from it, and are unlikely to reconcile. But if you do have regrets it doesn't hurt to ask. You never know what will happen. It may benefit you in your next relationship.
  9. Jetta
    He sounds depressed to me. He needs a full medical evaulation. Assuming that turns up nothing, does he enjoy his job? Maybe he's feeling too much pressure now that you're married. You say you're not working, that may be a problem for him. Ask him how he feels about it. You two need to have a talk to get to the root of the problem. If it takes a marriage counselor to get him to speak then you'll have to go that route.
  10. Jetta
    Then he wasn't the right guy for you. I know cliche' but it's true. I told my ex husband we needed to date each other (while still married). He said we didn't have the money. But in the same circumstance was able to start dating others immediately upon our divorce. Now he claims it was me who didn't want to work on the marriage. Maybe it best we've parted ways. According to marriage builders we're supposed to spend 15 hours a week with our S/O (couple time only). They break it down to 2-3 hours a day. Just you and your S/O. That supposedly keeps the love alive. Yet I realize I hated spending alone time with my ex-husband. thereforeeee he really wasn't the right guy for me, just like yours wasn't the right guy for you. Yep still hate being single.
  11. Jetta
    No idea why you're holding onto this guy who has been horrible to you in many ways. You obviously have a lot going for you and can do fine without him. You must have started to believe the things he was saying to you to belittle you. You could look into therapy to work through the issues he's created in you, and perhaps the underlying things that caused you to incorporate this guy into your life. Don't answer the call if it's him or his girlfriend. It's a good thing you don't have a child to keep this guy in your life (as hard as it was to do). You child likely would be this guy incarnate. I know I had one who is charming and awful just like his dad. Focus on your career, get therapy, and start dating again.
  12. Jetta
    She sounds like an awful person. You need to leave her. Talk with the landlord to see about getting out of it, if you can't get out of it just let it go anyway. You'll likely just need someone to cosign for you to rent again, not really as bad as she's trying to make you think it is. Move back with your mom and get yourself together. Get in college and make a good plan for your future. Use protection that your in control of (make sure she doesn't have the ability to tamper with it). You will be better off without her. Go quickly.
  13. Jetta
    Is it possible to study together? Then you'd have some additional time with each other.
  14. Jetta
    Generally people don't change as much as we'd like. It's really up to you what your willing to live with, being bored and having someone who is unwilling to go out is awful because it's like you're not really living life then. You have to decide.
  15. Jetta
    Go for another evaluation. I was hearing voices that weren't there, and diagnosed with schizophernia (there are different types yours will include bipolar). Meds are awesome! Took a while to kick in but they really help. I asked about getting addicted to them because I love them so much. I never had an episode before the one that lasted for months. So I'm sure yours is a different version. Look into it.
  16. Jetta
    It was a one night stand and I ended up losing the guy I was interested in over it. I never have had a one night stand and was sexually attracted to him. We chatted a several times, he got me drunk, and we did it. I hurt a lot of people by that one indescretion. A friend who still loved the guy (he didn't love her but still), a man I was infatuated with (he said I hurt his heart). I left my marriage hoping the man I was infatuated with would forgive me, he didn't, now I'm alone. He thinks I'm a cheater type, he doesn't know or believe I've never done it before. I hurt my husband over the infatuation guy. I don't think he knows about the one night stand, which was out of character for me and so not worth it. I was having an emotional affair on my husband, which he was very aware of. Now my ex-husband is who I'm leaning on from the fall, really from both the loss of my friend (husband) and infatuation guy. Ironic isn't it?
  17. Jetta
    Read: link removed I am and learning a lot.
  18. Jetta
    It seems that you're in denial of the pregnancy. Was this planned? You seem fearful to me. I know I was in denial with my 1st and I wasn't near ready to be a parent. Yes there is a real baby in there growing. Take parenting class, register, get prepared because there's a lot to know and no matter how much you prepare it's never enough.
  19. Jetta
    There is no difference between a "hook-up" and an affair. Sex is sex isn't it? You'd be having sex with someone outside of your marriage and that is what an affair is. I did this, it wasn't worth it, I'm regretful and alone now for the first time in my life.
  20. Jetta
    What jobs peak your interest? If you need a degree to work in that field that is the degree you should be going for. In the meantime work a job that will get you by until you obtain your degree and then land the job you really want.
  21. Jetta
    Well several reasons really. But the truth is I doubt it'll happen. I'm hanging on him lately because I really can't handle being single. No sex, which he wants, but just someone to talk to when I'm lonely. I pulled a Britney after the divorce only I didn't go as far as shaving my head. I cut my hair all off and dyed it so much I can't go back to a lighter (look better on me) color. It's dry and damaged and icky chin length (looks awful on me, girls talk to me now). At least guys are starting to hold doors for me, so it's improving. I discovered I was way more attached to him than I realized and because they legally kidnapped my daughter. I have to see him to see her and she's my little girl. She like a little me in some ways only better, and I totally love and miss her. Okay so three reasons. I hate being single, I miss my daughter, and he was a good friend who I relied on (didn't realize that seriously). I'm also still attracted to him sexually, didn't realize I ever was to tell you the truth. So 4 reasons. He was always just there so I never really got to miss him, he's the clingy type so he got annoying. Now I realize there were parts of him I loved, but it was that intense love that I felt for other guys.
  22. Jetta
    I think there is really more than one out there. I've met two. One was intense feelings, the other made me swoon for the first time in my life. Now I really hope there's a 3rd and that's the charm because being alone sucks. I've seen how powerful love is I really don't want to settle for less. The man I left wasn't the one, but we have a history and a child together. I knew I settled for less than love when I married him and felt I was living a lie. I met guy 1, 1 year into the marriage while taking a class in college. Got pregnant and he literally ran away. Have never seen him again. I really only want to get back with my ex because of our child and well I hate being single. I know I don't love him as much as I love these other guys, he's more of a friend. I've seen love twice and I was married when I met both. Guy #2 and I had a lot of emotional stuff to work through. He very well could have been my one. I don't know if there will be a 3rd time but I really hope so. At least I'm single now.
  23. Jetta
    Try a non-chalent attitude. I know it's hard, but the worst she could say is no. So prep for a no and maybe she'll say yes. I really wonder how people who are mutally attracted get together, it's hard when you really like someone, but you'll only regret not trying.
  24. Jetta
    It's great that you're helping around the house but she obviously wants more out of you. Go out and get a job. Go through a temp service they help you develop skills you never had before. I've gotten some great jobs that way, the one I'm at now isn't so great but I'm still learning something new. You do have to get a job, and see what difference having one makes. Maybe she expects more out of you than you do of yourself or maybe she'll back off once you're contributing financially again.
  25. Jetta
    That is exactly what I needed to hear 2 years ago, but I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. Maybe someone here is a bit wiser than I.
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