Jetta
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Everything posted by Jetta
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You can ask him but I get the feeling that he's not interested in you in "that way". He may enjoy your company but not be interested in a romantic relationship with you. You may be best to go with NC (I'm sticking my foot in my mouth after the NC thread).
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Are there different degrees of being bipolar?
Jetta replied to chickidee23's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
You don't sound bi-polar but if you are attacking yourself, something isn't normal. That's a self-injury type of thing. Maybe a personality disorder, do some more research or seek out therapy. -
Maybe you could write a note to your brother with a general apology or call him just to apologize. I know I felt very guilty over how I treated my brother once I reached adulthood and apologized several times to him for everything I had ever done. He kind of blew me off but I know it helps to acknowledge the pain I've caused him. I didn't get into specifics but I know he still harbors ill feelings over things (brought up recently how I was never a friend to him growing up). Anyway therapy will help you, and a general apology may open the door of communication.
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Have you applied for fafsa.gov? Have you met with someone in the financial aid office? Why are you signing up and quitting classes after 2 weeks? Why didn't you at least finish the semester you paid for? So your dad isn't going to pay and your mom wants to help but can't. You can get financial aid, get a part-time job, and work your way through school.
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My wife drinks to much and get mad at me
Jetta replied to Nifty_Swifty1's topic in Relationship Advice
I don't understand what you mean by annoying. Can you explain a bit more about how she acts that is so bothersome to you? Is there a reason she drinks? Is she using alcohol to deal with something, or is it just for pleasure? If she's using it to deal with something you have to get to the source of the problem before she'll quit. Otherwise she should just be able to quit out of consideration for your feelings. -
Well maybe he's been hitting on her and nothing has happened. He could have a thing for her and want to ruin her marriage.
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I mean her actions with him staying home will basically show whether she is truly cheating or not. I mean it's highly likely that she is but I'm a need proof person myself. Odds are the guy shows up on poker night, or she runs out to meet him someplace. If he plans a spontaneous romatic night she has no excuse to leave. And well if he's attached like glue to her she won't be able to make any calls to deter anyones arrival. As far as the bathroom, it's to make sure she's not calling someone. You know run in and get something they are married it's not like the door is locked, or is it? I'd hate to end a marriage if it really is just nothing. Because some people do have wild imaginations (I'm one of them). I could create something out of nothing. Better to be safe than sorry.
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Well you can listen to what he says because his actions are contradictory it seems. Stop the phone calls, he's using you as a crutch. Start moving on with your life and if he happens to show back up and you're free then you can see if you still want to be with him.
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Well it's all pretty suspecious. I'd skip poker night (unannounced)regardless of what she says and follow her so she doesn't make any phone calls. Maybe rent a movie and get dinner figured out beforehand. Just make sure you two are in the room together the whole night and follow her if she leaves the room for any reason, including the bathroom. You can make it seem like you just happen to have to go too, not obviously following her. But keep a close eye on her so she doesn't call anyone (maybe disconnect the phones for the night). I think you'll have your answer that night. But the card and the notes are just too close for comfort and no normal supervisor acts that way.
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Just realized the appeal deadline is tomorrow. No way I'll get it together by then, and the lawyer said most appeals don't win so really I just have to pray my ex will allow weekend visits at some point. His mom is wanting me out of her life entirely. This is so awful I don't think I'll ever recover from the horrors of 2006.
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Well you set a deadline, make it known to your houseguest (not sure what to call him). Set some ground rules, as in no visitors. It's not his home he doesn't need to have visitors and it'll be an incentive to move out. Apply some pressure to the houseguest. Don't let this ruin your marriage. Since he has a DUI, can you offer to take him to work if he gets a job? Better yet does he have a bicycle, or do you have one he can use? Does he have family he can go live with? Give him a deadline.
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I think you need to let her go for good. If she were to contact you that's one thing but the stacking accusation means stay away.
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Is she saying this when she wants someone to talk to? You could work on developing more conversational skills. Comment about the show you're watching. Ask about her day, and respond to what she says. Perhaps it's more of you not seeming to show enough interest in her or what's happening around you. I can be too quiet myself so these are just guesses.
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You are sexually incompatible. She's not satisified sexually so there's really no reason for her to initiate. Did you even try to please her? Time to move on.
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Perfect does NOT exist. However there is perfect for you. Someone whose nuances are tollerable really. You're best if you seek out your ideal mate, and don't look for perfect. Besides perfect would be flat, boring, etc.
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He may feel unworthy of love. Can you give him time? Is he in therapy? It may help him work through some of these emotions/issues that he has. Love doesn't necessarily come in pretty packages, but I think these are things that can be worked through. Is there another med he can take for his back pain? Something that he may not grow an addition to? Has he tried a chiropractor? That may alliviate the back pain. There are solutions to his problems. But I do think he needs therapy to work through pushing you away.
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Well it sounds like a one-sided relationship for sure. You can definitely find someone who treats you more as a equal partner. Good luck.
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I really only want to appeal the way visitation is set up. I'm wondering if that can be done, and well I found an on-line website run by an attorney in my state who answers questions for free. I realize she's in a stable envoirnment and don't want to change that. I've thought about it. I just want to have the supervised visits dropped so I can have a reasonable relationship with her. My ex husband is no saint. The GA said he's neglectful. My daughter "wants daddys attention and is often playing by herself." On the upside he is listening to my suggestions (i.e. reads to her at bedtime), he's patient, and well I'm sure she's safe and know she's loved. His parents have her in preschool, religion class, gymnastics, swimming things I suggested she'd enjoy. She has a nice life, I just want to be included in it. Not mess it up. I can't afford to do all these things, they can. I just want reasonable visits, so she actually gets to know me as mom. Not just some strange lady who gives her big hugs every time she sees her. Thanks Bethany. I appreciate your response. I don't really understand why she did it but maybe one day I will. I'm glad the little things help.
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My mom said she wouldn't loan me the money because my brother already owes her 4K and she only has so much to live on per year. My dad is dead.
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I have an ache in my heart now. I lost my daughter for real. I can't believe it was so easy for them to take her from me. Even the Guardiam Ad Litem said we have a "strong bond" that I'm "very attentive" and other positive things. She didn't have such positive things to say about my ex and now he has her. I just can't even cope with this. Money is why I can't get my daughter back. MONEY! If I would have known this could happen there's no way I would have divorced. His parents did this to me. He calls me when he has her so I can say goodnight. He's been letting me see her once a week. His mom is a kidnapper. My mom asked her how she likes raising her granddaughter, because she does daycare and then has her stay over twice a week. My ex MIL kidnapped my daughter! That woman should have just had more kids of her own, rather than take other peoples. I'm so angry and truly heartbroken. My little girl, how do you even begin to deal with a loss like this? I can see her but barely, she's alive but it's like grieving a death. I keep hoping I die soon. It's easier to tell her mom died than try to explain this some day when she'll understand. I just can't deal with this. My mom says just move on and hope they loosen the hold they put on her. She knows I can't manage this emotionally or financially. I told my ex that I'd really like normal weekend visits. He'd agree but his mom is controlling things. He said to just give it time. In time she might not remember who I am. She is only 4 years old. It's $500 to file an appeal, so thousands with an attorney. There is no do it yourself paperwork and the appeal is due the 20th. The doctor hasn't sent the letter, gave me a hard time about it. So basically I'm SOL. I'm still recovering from a psychotic break, been working about a month and a half. I'm in no place to be dealing with this, which is exactly why my ex MIL did what she did. Evil is what that woman is and hell is where I hope she goes. As if this isn't affecting my daughter. I am her mom. My consolation is the solders at war who rarely see their kids. The kids whose parents have died and even have replacement parents still wish for something with their birthparent. Not much but it gives me some solace. How do you go on when you know they're there? I want a realtionship with my daughter but it hurts to see her because I want more than a visit. I want to be her mom. She calls me mom but that's a word with no meaning to her now. Awful people did this.
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This is a sign of how your marriage will go. A ring is a symbol and yes it is important. My ex took me with him to buy it (after he proposed without a ring). I asked how much he had saved $1500 and spent $500 less, which we used to buy the wedding bands. I wished he would have just gone out and bought it himself and surprised me. I like surprises and I didn't like being a part of choosing the ring, at least not the way it was done. Okay sorry I went on a rant. Does he really want to buy you a ring? What are his thoughts on marriage, engagement, etc.? What other things has he done to show his lack of interest in marrying you? I mean 8 years together is forever! My mom says if they don't mention marriage after 2 years you're wasting your time. My friend has been with a guy for 8 years, I went out and bought her a wedding dress, which she returned after his reaction. He wasn't happy about it but she was. She glowed when she saw it, was very happy. She wants to get married, he doesn't. They're still together but I think that was a huge sign that it's going nowhere, even if they own a house together. It's time to say goodbye, but she won't. You are just like her. How long are you going to wait around? You know he doesn't really plan to marry you. You can give him an ultimatium but be prepared to leave first. Otherwise be happy for the rest of your life as his girlfriend or until he gives up on finding a replacement and opts to marry you. I just don't know what to say to you because I know what you want and I know he's blowing you off. He's content not being married but you're living like you are married, so why haven't you made it legal? You have my sympathies.
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Has he checked into tourets (?sp) syndrome? I know that causes uncontrolled twitching.
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Feeling really good today, need career suggestions.
Jetta replied to Jetta's topic in Emotions and Feelings
What's that science? How do you get into a research field? I'm not really going to take the bar exam, just idle chatter. -
Feeling really good today, need career suggestions.
Jetta replied to Jetta's topic in Emotions and Feelings
Well part of me thinks I should just go and study for the bar exam (you know self-taught kind of person) since I have so many legal needs. I found out you can take the test without college. Hmmm, hate legal stuff but dang I have to basically do it myself most of the time anyway. It might be something to do. -
Well I'm the too serious type myself and I don't really know how to convey my feelings without being straightforward. Like I'm not looking for marriage right now, but I'm the marrying kind so that'd be why I'm single. So if marriage is what she's looking for and your not than you probably just cut ties, otherwise you're just wasting time.