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Hermes last won the day on June 12 2010

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About Hermes

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  • Birthday September 26
  1. What's that, Wiseman? "People grind in clubs ...."
  2. Precisely Greta. You can't expect a partner to spend his every waking moment with you, even when you live together. That would just lead to boredom and suffocation, and it's just not healthy"
  3. Yes, Wiseman "Relationships are not about what you "need" they are about what you want. That's where the erroneous thinking is"
  4. "Dating happens in real life, there is no such thing as online. Print that out, put in on your fridge. " Indeed, DF.
  5. OP. What does "spend time" with the family mean. An hour once or twice a week? Four hours? 12 hours? Just a meal with them?
  6. "It's not about saying one is better than the other, it's about saying that being in a relationship doesn't have to be the ultimate. I'm asking people to focus on good reasons to be single (because that's where I find myself right now)." then perhaps, OP, you could have phrased the heading of your thread differently/better. Yes? What's wrong with considering someone else anyhow? And no, it isn't "all the time" unless one is totally enmeshed with the "other". I was single before I married, and that was fine. I never even shared accommodation with anyone in my single days. That w
  7. Same here, Dancing I hate smoking, the smell of it, the concept of it, everything Never smoked in my life. It is uplifting to see that more and more people have given up the addiction. Because that is what it is: an addiction to nicotine. I suppose, Pauly, just tolerate the e-cigs, if you feel you can.
  8. Seltzer. any chance you would answer my question. How do you know he is in therapy? When, where and which therapist? And once more, with feeling. "..he's been very invested in the relationship in the beginning and eventually just doesn't care for them anymore and breaks up with them." That is the real heart of the matter here.
  9. No one said his actions are "preposterous". Posters are explaining the profile of this type of person. These individuals live in a world of their own, and even therapists find them hard going.
  10. OP. "I just don't want to immediately dismiss him if he's actually addressing an issue." Whatever psychological problems underlie his reluctance to commit, how do you actually KNOW he is consulting a therapist, aside from what he just tells you. He says "he knows he has a problem". Have you discussed this problem with him, and his progress with the therapist? "zero attempts to be intimate" That in itself is rather odd, and if you read through the article on the link I gave above you will gain some insight perhaps into the real underlying problem he may have.
  11. Re-read these words, OP, and let them sink in. "he's been very invested in the relationship in the beginning and eventually just doesn't care for them anymore and breaks up with them." Invested in the relationship (an abstract) but not in the other person. Someone with that kind of issue didn't care even at the outset, but tried to seem as if he did, but slides inexorably towards the devaluation and discard.
  12. Talking the talk is one thing; walking the walk quite another. How do you know he is even getting this therapy? And for how long? And ..six months is a very short time.
  13. Where is her husband? OP you cannot continue enabling like this (20 years!!). "She is not the best on a computer and finds the IT world challenging. " You'd really help by enrolling her in a class so that she can learn to use a computer. Lots of people find or have found IT challenging, but they learned anyhow. I know people in their eighties who ´learned how to use a computer, and went to classes in order to do so. While she is getting money she will not be motivated.
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